Back To You
by NewYorkNewYorkGirl
Summary: What if Grave Danger had ended differently? What if it didn't end there at all? How would the team cope? Could they move on? Should they? Could be rated T, but is rated K to be on the safe side.
1. Chapter 1

I own nothing.

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Warrick sits in front of the computer monitor. He picks up his cup and drinks. He reaches for the mouse and clicks it back on.

Inside the dark box, the light goes back on. Nick looks at the vent as the fan shuts off. "No", he whispers. Panting, Nick looks down at the light near his feet. He looks at the light, then back to the vent. He's got to do something about this. He reaches into his back jeans pocket and takes out a pack of gum. He unwraps the gum and pops it into his mouth. He chews.

Warrick watches Nick chew the gun.

Nick puts the gum in his right ear.

Warrick watches as Nick puts the gum in his left ear.

"What are you doing, Nicky?" Warrick asks.

On the monitor, Warrick watches as Nick takes out the gun and cocks it.

Warrick gets to his feet, his eyes glued to the monitor.

"What are you doing, Nicky?" he asks, alarmed at his friends movements.

On the monitor, Warrick sees Nick rest the gun on his chest, the muzzle pointed near his own head. Nick turns to the side.

"Don't do it, Nicky!" Warrick yells at the monitor.

In the box, Nick looks down at the light, the tip of his gun muzzle near his chin.

Warrick grows alarmed and stands up.

Nick takes a breath and aims the gun down at the light beneath his feet. He fires.

Warrick jumps back as the monitor goes completely black.

"You son of a bitch!" Warrick yells, on the verge of tears. The screen is black.

He is startled by the sound of glass shattering on the floor behind him.

"Oh, God," her hand flies to her mouth as she struggles against the bile that is rising in her throat. But it's no use, she runs from the room, abandoning the once steaming mug of coffee that was now pooled and broken on the floor.

"What's going on?!" Grissom demands as he, Catherine and Bill and Jillian Stokes rush into the room. He notices the black screen and pushes past Warrick, trying to recover the feed.

Bill and Jillian lean on one another for support, and Catherine notices Warrick's gaze fixed on the broken coffee mug on the floor, the brown liquid slowly dispersing into a wider puddle. She takes a few long strides to be at Warrick's side. "What happened?" she whispers. She's not entirely sure that she wants to know, but it doesn't change the fact that at some point, she will. A sinking feeling settled in the pit of her stomach when Warrick's gaze finally settled on her. He reached out to touch her shoulder, his voice shaking. "He . . . .Nick . . . the . . . gun," he couldn't form a sentence. A single tear slipped down his face. "God, Cath," he said pulling her into his chest as tears streamed down her skin, "what the hell happened down there?"

"Mr. Grissom?" Judge Stokes asked, his voice stoic, though his eyes betrayed him as the worried father that he was.

Grissom sighed and ran a hand over the injuries on his face, trying to figure out the best case senario. "We lost the feed."

Jillian Stokes sobbed against her husbands chest, terrified that her baby boy was gone.

"We can't be sure of what happened," Grissom said calmly. "There's still a chance that we'll get him back." He could feel the sting of tears in his eyes. "We'll find him," he said, though he wasn't sure if it was for his benifits, or Nick's families . . . or everyone's. But he solemnly promised himself that no matter what, they'd get their answers, and someone would pay . . . . .

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"Sara?" Catherine called softly as she entered the ladies restroom. She heard sniffling coming from inside a stall. "Sara," she said again, knocking on the door.

Sara looked up at the blond woman, and forced a smile. "I'm sorry," she spoke, but a fresh torrent of tears flooded their way out of her eyes. "I'll be out in a second."

"Take your time," Catherine said, stepping into the stall and bending down to rub her back soothingly. She flushed the toilet, Sara's stomach contents being flushed away leaving no trace that she'd even been sick.

The two woman had been friends for years, but since the shift split, they had had their differences. They had separately chalked it up to jealousy. Catherine was jealous because now Warrick and Nick, whom she'd considered friends above collegues, were now her employees. The three had drifted apart with her new title and authority and she'd noticed that Sara had become closer than ever with Warrick and Nick. And Sara was jealous that Catherine had not only been promoted, but that she'd taken away a part of her family. In reality, she knew that it wasn't Catherine's fault, but she had finally forged relationships that needed little work. They were all there for each other, no matter what. And as soon as the split had occured, suddenly the relationships that had been so easy required work.

"We can't give up, Catherine," she said after a moment of silence. "Nick is out there. I know he is."

Catherine smiled a little, and nodded her head. "I hope you're right."

"You're giving up, aren't you?" Sara asked, an edge in her voice.

"Sara," she was trying to find the words to say it delicately, but they just wouldn't present themselves. "We're going to do everything that we can, but our jobs just got harder. I know that you know the live feed was lost."

Sara nodded her head, "I saw it, Cath." She took a deep breath, feeling as if she was going to be sick again. "He's so scared, and I can't stand it." Her lips quivered.

Catherine pulled Sara into a tight embrace. The two women held onto one another, crying.

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The rest of the investigation was finally going somewhere because of the thumb that Sara had found at the scene of Walter Gordon's death. DNA had been extracted and was found that he was an immediate relative of Kelly Gordon who was currently serving year three of a five year sentence for accessory to murder. While her and Brass' visit to see her had been seemingly useless at the time, it was extremely helpful when Archie had been able to find a general location of where the web cam had been located, and the travel radius from Walter Gordon's truck had given them two nurseries where Nick could've been . . .it was then that Sara remembered Kelly telling her that she'd been studying horticulture. That was how they knew which nursery Nick was at.

Hauling ass, everyone ran out of the lab and into their Denali's, speeding towards the nursery. It was then that their worlds crumbled.

_"All units, I repeat, all units," the Police scanner crackled, "an explosion at Conner Nursery, there has been an explosion at Conner Nursery! All available units respond!"_

Conner Nursery had been the one that Sara had figured Nick was at. It was outside of the Las Vegas city limits, and the police convoy was still at least a ten minute drive away, lights flashing.

When the CSI teams from the lab, and surrounding counties, as well as LVPD and other available officers got to the nursery, everyone set out running . . . . the only thing they found was a molar tooth and Nick's University ring.

With no signs of other life having been there recently, they were left with the conclusion that if Nick hadn't killed himself with the gun, the blast did. There was literally nothing left.

Grissom stood stoically to the side of the crater in the land where the blast had obviously originated from, while Greg tried controlled breathing to keep himself in check. Warrick held Catherine tight against him as she sobbed and he fought with himself silently guilty for having the good luck to have won the coin toss. Sara was numb as silent tears rolled down her face once again.

TBC . . . ..


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the replies! They mean the world to me :)

I disclaim, I don't own anything related to CSI other than the DVDs . . .

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It had been two weeks since Nick's abduction and the explosion. While none of the Grave or Swing shift crew felt the investigation should be active, the Lab had no choice but to let the case be considered cold. There were other crimes being committed with hot leads disappearing . . .

They had been too close to Nick to take the leads on the investigation, so Ecklie had put Day Shift on it. Even though there was always rivalry between the teams, Nick was one of their own and his loss was felt overwhelmingly through out the building and LVPD. They had done their best, and hadn't found any clue that Nick was still alive, and there were no potential new leads to bring any form of closure, or a happy ending. No DNA evidence had been found, but based on the explosives that the Day Shift had recovered and reconstructed, it was enough to bring down a building. Nick was literally gone.

Even though Ecklie had agreed to place the remaining team members back together on Grave, they were all required to take a mandatory two week paid leave to deal with their grief, as well as two mandatory PEAP sessions prior to returning to work, and at least three within a month of starting to work again. And now, it was their first night back and it had been routine and easy. A couple of B&E's and a Gas Station robbery, which was quickly discovered as being an Insurance Scam. All three cases had been closed and they were only a few hours away from shift being over. And no one was looking forward to going home to be alone with their thoughts.

Grissom watched everyone closely. Greg flipped through a Sporting Magazine, folding over a few edges of paper giving Grissom the idea that he would go back at a later time and read the articles more thoroughly -- but he suspected that perhaps Greg was just doing that to throw him off as Greg had caught him a number of times watching him. Warrick was reading the newspaper and Catherine was perusing an old InStyle Magazine, but he suspected that neither of them were truly seeing what was on the pages infront of them. They both had glazed over looks in their eyes. It was Sara that he was the most concerned about though. Normally, she would've put up a brave front like the rest of the team, but she wasn't. It was like she didn't even have the energy to try. She just sat on the couch in Nick's usual spot, and stared out the window at the sun rising over the horizon.

Hodges breezed calmly into the room, careful not to intentionally upset or irritate any of the fragile emotions of the people in the room. He walked over to one of the cupboards and opened the door looking for something to to munch on to hold him over until his shift finally ended and he could grab some breakfast. He grabbed a box of Chocolate Chip Marshmellow granola bars and took one of the wrapped delights out of the box. He started to open the protective foil wrapper, but everyone's heads snapped in his direction.

Sara's heart beat increased rapidly when she heard the crinkling noise, but upon seeing it was just Hodges, her attention turned back out the window.

"What?" he asked, wondering why people were staring at him with such fury in their eyes. He hadn't done anything to piss them off all shift.

"Those are Nick's," Warrick's voice teetered dangerously on being too well controlled.

Hodges glanced down at the now unwrapped granola bar then back to the box. "Oh," he managed. "I didn't realize. I -"

"Didn't think?" Catherine snapped. "Well that's obvious."

David was now becoming frustrated. It wasn't like he was trying to hurt them, but he hated walking on egg shells. But feeling like the people in the room blamed him for Nick's not being there, or for reminding them that he was gone -- not like anyone could forget. "Well, it's not like he'll be eating them," he sneered. He regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth.

Sara sniffed a little, but her attention was still trained out the window.

"Just go," Grissom barked. David rolled his eyes and quickly left the break room.

"How dare he?!" Catherine fumed, angrily closing the magazine and thowing it to the table with a loud thunk. "He has some nerve!"

Greg too placed his Sports Magazine down on the table and rubbed his eyes. The logical part of him knew, as did everyone else, that David hadn't meant to upset anyone. But they were all dealing with their grief as best they knew how, and lashing out was natural.

Silently, the team sat there for a few minutes, each lost in their own thoughts. Suddenly, Warrick started to laugh.

Catherine looked at him incrediously, but soon, she dissolved into giggles. Warrick's laugh was infectious and although she had no idea why he was laughing, she was laughing with him. "What?" she asked between giggles.

"I was just thinking about a few months ago, Nick and I caught Hodges sleeping. He was leaning up against his microscope so it looked like he was working, but he was just out like a light. We startled him awake, and he told Nick and I that he'd been seeing this new chick and she was keeping him up all night and he wasn't getting any sleep. Neither of us believed him. Then the next night, during a break, we came in here and he was passed out on the couch with a Hotrod Magazine on his chest. His cell phone started to ring suddenly and he jumped in surprise. The magazine fell to the floor. Turns out, it was just a cover. He wasn't reading a Hot Rod Magazine -- he was actually reading the personal classifieds!" Warrick hooted. "He was mortified, but Nick just ribbed him, saying that it was an improvement over those Phone Sex hot line calls he'd been making!"

Greg started to laugh, "Nick told me about that. And afterwards, we shoved a blow up doll into his locker with a note that said 'Just to Hold You Over Until you Get the Real Thing!'"

Catherine was laughing so hard her stomach hurt, she was barely making any sound, but had tears running out of her eyes. Grissom even had a smirk on his face. Sara didn't react.

"Sara?" Warrick called her name softly. "You OK?" Still no response.

Catherine sombered quickly, and got up from the chair, slowly walked over to the couch and took a seat beside the brunette. "Sara? Honey?" She reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder.

Sara jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder. "Hmm?" she mumbled, turning to face the woman.

Catherine noticed the unshed tears in her eyes. She was concerned for her. She hadn't seen Sara cry since the night of the explosion, and to her knowledge, no one else had either. Not even at the funeral.

"How are you doing?" Her voice had taken on a motherly quality to it.

Sara took a deep breath, steeling herself. "I'm fine." That couldn't have been a bigger lie, but truth be told, she was there. And Nick wasn't. If she said she wasn't OK, she felt like what Nick had gone through would've been trivialized. At the moment, she was sure she was doing better than Nick.

"What're you thinking?" Warrick asked her quietly as he stood up and moved towards the two on the couch.

She was silent for a moment, turning her gaze back out the window, watching the gentle morning glow of the sun bathe the Las Vegas sky. "It's Nick's favorite time of day," she finally answered.

Grissom and Greg shared a look. So far, Sara had been the only one to avoid talking about Nick in a past tense. It was almost like she thought he was going to walk through the door at any moment and like everything would just go back to normal. They had all discussed it, and it concerned them all. The PEAP therapist had even spoken with Grissom about it.

"He says it's like the sun rises again, wiping the slate clean. A fresh start," she offered. She swallowed around the lump in her throat, willing it away, and trying to force back the unshed tears that were glistening in her eyes. She nervously chewed the inside of her cheek. She knew she was barely holding it together.

Suddenly, Grissom's watch started to beep and he looked down at the face, noting the time. "Shifts over. Everyone is free to go," he said, pushing himself up and out of the chair. "Sara?" He noticed that she turned to look at him, tearing her gaze from the sun that had her transfixed by its beauty. "I'd like to see you in my office, please."

She nodded her head mutely, accepting Warrick's hand helping her up. He did the same for Catherine. Ever the gentleman. She smiled sadly at Warrick, knowing that it is the exact same thing that Nick would do.

"I'll wait for you," Greg said, "and we can grab some breakfast at the diner. That sound good?"

"Perfect," Catherine smiled. "We'll all go."

Warrick agreed that breakfast was a good idea.

"You guys go ahead," Sara said. "I'm not really hungry. I just want to get some sleep."

Everyone looked at her, not wanting her to be alone, but not wanting to push the subject either. Nick was the only one who really had the magic touch with Sara -- getting her to open up, or agree to something when she said she didn't feel like it. And with him gone, she'd been steadily withdrawing from everyone.

"You sure?" Greg asked.

She forced a smile. "Positive."

"What about you?" Warrick addressed Grissom.

"Go ahead, I'll be there in a few minutes," he agreed, walking out the door, silently telling Sara to follow him.

Sara quietly followed him, wanting nothing more than to leave the confines of the building. She wasn't exactly sure where she wanted to go when she left, she just knew that she wanted to leave.

"Close the door," Grissom instructed softly as he took a seat in the leather chair behind his desk. She did as he said then took a seat across from him. He looked at her for a moment, not really sure of how, or even where, to start. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Sara, we're concerned about you. I don't think that you've even begun to deal with Nick's -"

"Don't say it," she cut him off. "Just don't."

"It's not healthy, Sara," he told her bluntly. "I know it's difficult, but -"

"I can't," she said softly. She felt the tears building, but refused to allow them to fall.

"Why?"

"Because I don't feel it in my heart. If he were gone, I'd know," she said, her lips quivering and her eyebrows furrowing together as she fought with the emotions that were struggling to bubble over. He sighed, rubbing his hands over his face, and tired eyes. "He's not gone."

"I wish that were the case," he said.

"Well it's the truth!" she said, her voice rising.

"Sara, you have to accept it," he saw that she was about to interrupt him again, "and until you do, you can't come to work."

The words of protest fell from her lips and she sat in stunned silence. Tears finally cascaded down her cheeks, unable to hold them at bay any longer. "Please don't do this," she begged like a broken little girl. "It's the only thing that I have. It's the only thing that makes sense."

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, but sincerely. "But if I let you come to work, go out in the field, or whatever, you could be a danger to yourself. Or someone else. I'm not only doing this as your supervisor Sara, but because I'm your friend as well." He pulled out a form from his desk drawer. "I'm placing you on a leave of absense for an undisclosed amount of time, starting immediately."

"No," she whispered shaking her head, "you can't do this to me."

He didn't want too, but he didn't have any other choice. It was not only protocol for situations like this, but it was his duty as her friend. "Take as much time as you need, Sara." He finished the paperwork, handing over her copy of the signed form for her own records.

She snatched it out of his grasp before angrily standing and turning towards the door.

"Sara?" She stopped, but didn't turn around. He could feel how angry she was. Partly at him, and partly at the circumstances of the last few weeks. "You know that Nick would want you to take care of yourself. If you don't want to, or can't, do this for yourself . . . . do it for Nick."

She bit the inside of her cheek. "You're the last person who should be telling me what Nick would want. I know what he would want." And with that, she yanked open the office door and let it close heavily behind her.

Grissom's gaze fell to the newest photo of the 'old' team . . . it had been taken shortly before the shift was split. It had been at a company picnic. The entire lab had been in attendance that afternoon. Catherine had brought along Lindsay and her mother and her mom had insisted on taking a group photo, so they posed together. He stood like the proud father of the team. To his right was Catherine, who was smiling brightly, and Warrick was beside her, his hand snaked it's way around her back and rested on her hip. Greg was standing to his left. Beside him was Sara, and Nick was beside her, his arm slung casually over her shoulders, pulling her to him protectively . . . and she didn't seem to mind. At the time, he hadn't thought much of it, but now . . . now he couldn't help but wonder.

TBC . . . . .


	3. Chapter 3

She didn't really know how she got there. She just drove knowing that going back to her apartment was out of the question. It was quiet, and she had been confined inside since just after it happened. She hadn't been back here since the afternoon of the day that it happened.

Her body had been on autopilot as she drove through the streets and finally she started making the framiliar journey to his house. For a while, she just sat in the driveway, staring out the windshield, studying the townhouse, willing him to just waltz through the front door, flash her a dazzling smile and tell her in his Texas drawl that it had all been just one big misunderstanding. That he had been away on a fishing trip, or visiting his family. But he didn't.

"I suppose your going to have to do it sometime, Sidle," she quietly chided herself, her heart pounding with anxiety. "It's never going to get easier," she told herself. She opened the drivers door, her foot hitting the pavement. Once she closed the door, she leaned against the vehicle, trying to convince herself to just go in. A warm breeze kicked up off the still Nevada air. It was early June and the temperature was stiffling. She always loved the heat, but lately, she just hated it. She felt like it was zapping her of all her energy. She double checked that she'd locked the doors before slowly making her way to the front door.

When she had used her key to let herself in, she was overwhelmed by his presence. Only two things missing. Sparky, Nick's dog whom had been adopted by his parents and taken back to Texas, and Nick himself. Other than that, it was hard to tell that anything was amiss.

Warrick had come over with Nick's parents late in the morning, following the explosion. Jillian Stokes removed perishable items from Nick's kitchen like milk and meat, and then she and Bill put together a few of Sparky's things, like his leash and collar, a chew toy for the flight to Texas and of course, his kennel.

She wandered over to the deck, noticing Sparky's food and water bowls sitting empty. She almost bent down to pick them up for a refill, but stopped herself. Sparky was her honorary dog since Nick had gotten him as a puppy. He decided after the Nigel Crane incident that he'd move out of his old townhouse and buy a new one with a slightly larger backyard so he could have a dog. Partly for protection, and partly for companionship. But, his plans for a canine addition to his home were put on hold indefinitely because he couldn't find just the right one. And eventually, he got back into the swing of things and was able to return to his life as it had been before.

**Flashback - Ten months earlier**

"Aren't you a cutie!" Sara cooed at the black and tan German Shepard Rottweiler mix. The puppy barked innocently up at Sara as she picked him up, wagging his tail excitedly. The puppy licked her face, causing her to giggle.

"Sara Sidle," Nick smirked, approaching her. "Who would've thought you to be such a softie!"

"Don't tell anyone, you'll ruin my reputation," she kidded. Nick smirk turned into a smile and then a laugh. He reached out to pet the puppy in her arms, and he stretched out his paw to Nick in greeting. "Aw, that's so cute. I think he likes you."

"You too," he returned.

"Well the feeling is mutual," she looked down into the dogs soft brown eyes. "Isn't it, buddy?" she asked the puppy in baby talk.

Nick laughed heartily at the sound of her voice as she talked to the sweet animal in her arms. "You thinking about getting one too?"

She looked up at him, her eyes wide with shock.

"I'll take that as a no."

"I live in an apartment, Nick. It's hardly the place for a dog."

"Lots of people do it," he pointed out.

"Most people don't have our schedule. Plus he's not exactly a lap dog. It would be mean to have him confined in my apartment." She looked at the puppy with a sad smile, not wanting to put him down. "Besides not being the right time for me to have a dog, and not having a great invironment for him to live in, I wouldn't know the first thing about caring for a dog."

It was his turn to be shocked. "You never had a dog?" She shook her head. "Never?" He couldn't wrap his head around that information.

"Not everyone grew up on thousands of acres of land in the Texas heartland," she reminded him, smiling. "I had a couple of cats though. Well, actually, they were stray cats that kept coming around the Bed and Breakfast 'cause I kept feeding them."

"Did you ever have any pets?" he asked her.

"We had a couple of horses so if the guests wanted, the could go horseback riding. But they weren't pets that I was allowed to play with. I wasn't even supposed to ride them." He looked at her in shock. "My Dad always thought that my brother or I would do something to spook them. Of course, he made sure that we knew our duties in the horse barn was to feed and water them, brush their manes and clean out the stalls."

"You've never ridden?" Boy, today, she was full of shockers!

She cocked a manicured eyebrow at him and she tried to hide the smirk on her own face. "Did I say that?" She laughed. "I rode a few times. Generally when Dad pissed me off about something.". Of course, he pissed her off a lot of the time. But every now and again, she would rebel and do as she pleased. But generally, she'd only do it after he'd passed out drunk, or was gone for a few hours to tend to business at the bank or something. She only did it when she was sure he wouldn't find out. It was her own little secret. "Wait . . . you're still thinking about getting a dog?"

Nick smiled. "Yeah, I never stopped thinking about getting one, it just became less of a priority as time went on and things got back to normal.

"Miss?" a young twenty something girl said, with a little attitude. "Did you want that dog or not? We have other people interested in puppies too, you know." She snapped her pink bubble gum with annoyance.

Sara looked down at the puppy in her arms that had started to drift off to sleep. "Sorry little guy," she said quietly, "but you can't come home with me."

"No, but he can come home with me," Nick said, stopping Sara from placing the now discontent puppy back into its box.

"Nick!" she gasped. "No, don't."

"Why not? I've been looking for just the right dog, and besides being a perfect mixed breed, anything that puts that smile on your face is worth it."

Her cheeks tinted a rosy pink as Nick grabbed his wallet to pay for the transaction, and grabbing a couple of other things that lined the fold up table, like a red collar and leash.

After a few minutes, Nick and Sara, puppy in her arms soundly sleeping, walked away from the ASPCA set up at the open air market. Every once in a while, local merchants, both normal and odd, would come together in a large open air market, selling things cheaper than usual just to get a little exposure for clients that wouldn't normally shop at their outlets.

"So, aside from buying a puppy that I love," she smiled, "what're you doing here?"

"I left the Lab and went home, but quickly realized that I was too keyed up to sleep," he answered. They had a huge bust the night before, catching a serial rapist and murderer. He noticed her nod her head in agreement, but the intensity and happiness that had shone in her eyes immediately after the perp being hauled away was now gone. "You OK?" She nodded her head, but stayed silent. "You know, Greg told me what he said." He noticed her eyes close tightly. He told Sara that he wished he'd had a chance to go a few rounds with her, but since he believed the legal system to be such a joke, he said he'd be out in a few years and he'd find her and he'd get his chance. "If I had been in the room when he said that, he wouldn't have even made it to his jail cell," he balled his fists, his knuckles turning white. Just the thought of what the monster had said to Sara made him sick.

Sara smiled a little. For the first time in her life, she finally felt like she mattered. Not to just one person. But to a bunch of them. "Well, I appreciate that, but Greg rattled his cage. As soon as the words left his mouth, Greg grabbed him by his neck and just about broke it. Brass and I were both stunned that Greg had that much strength."

"Well, I owe Greg a beer then," he said seriously. They walked along in a comfortable silence for a while. "So, you never did tell me why you came here."

She smirked. "You never asked." She looked at him out of the corner of her eye.

"You're right. I'm sorry. Sara? Why are you here on this beautiful late summer day?"

"The A/C in my apartment is broken. Felt like a sauna. I figured if I'm going to bake my brains out, I may as well get a tan," she smiled.

"Tell you what, you go back to your apartment and grab a change of clothes and some essentials and you can come back to my place. I'm going to have to get this little guy settled before shift tonight, so I could use a hand. We could grab some lunch, catch some sleep and then head into work."

"You sure?" she asked.

"Mmmm Hmm," he a twinkle in his eye. "What do you say?"

She pretended to think it over, but couldn't stop the smirk from spreading across her face. "Sounds good."

"Well good," he smiled at her genuinely. Together they walked towards the car park, the rest of the open air market forgotten.

It was a few hours later when they were sitting on Nick's sofa, full from lunch, dinner plates pushed away from them on the coffee table. He was leaning back against the leather made cool by his A/C, his feet propped up on the table beside the plates. Sara was laying on the couch, her head propped up under a pillow that was resting on the arm of the couch, her feet in Nick's lap.

"Oh, this is nice," she mumbled tiredly as Nick's fingers slowly massaged her feet. She hadn't asked him to, nor had he offered. He just sort of started.

"Yeah it is," he agreed. "You know, we have just one problem though."

"What's that?" she asked, glancing over at him, her eyes drooping shut tiredly.

"We have to name him." She furrowed her brow. "Him," he repeated, pointing at the puppy who lay sleeping on the floor between the couch and coffee table.

"Oh . . . . I don't know," she shrugged. "Whatever you decide will be great, I'm sure."

"Any suggestions?" he inquired.

"Um . . . ." she searched her hazy mind, the need for sleep making itself known. "Sparky?"

The puppy lifted it's head and peered at the two sleepily. Yeah, the heat was draining them all.

"I think he likes it," Nick mumbled as sleep started to pull at his consciousness.

The shrill noise of a quickly rotating piece of metal on another stationary piece of metal started to grind, shocking both Nick and Sara awake. They stared at the TV wide-eyed as sparks flew across the screen as the people on the Discovery Channel of some show were building something. The puppy, who was also scared upon hearing the noise, sat up and watched the TV curiously. When the sparks started to fly a second time, he stood up and ran to the TV, placing his two front paws on the entertainment unit, balancing on his hind legs. He barked a little and Nick laughed, while Sara giggled.

"Sparky it is," Nick said, grabbing the remote and turning down the volume. Soon, the two drifted off to dreamland.

It was that day that would alter the entire course of their lives.

**End flashback**

Sara sat on the couch, taking in her surroundings. She could still smell him. His cologne had seeped into a cotton t-shirt he'd warn, then taken off and draped on the back of the leather recliner beside her. Tiredly, she reached out and grabbed the article of clothing, clutching it against her chest, and bringing the collar of the shirt up to his nose, inhaling deeply. Tears silently cascaded out of her eyes. She felt like the heat was suffocating her and the emotions that were now pouring from her veins started to make her hyperventilate. She moved forward, placing her head between her legs, breathing deeply.

She opened her eyes, her head still between her legs and her blurry, tear stained vision zeroed in on a gift bag wedged between the couch and the side table. She reached for it. It was light. She lifted the bag up and placed it in front of her on the coffee table, finding the tag attached to the string. _"Just because I love you, Always. Nick."_

She pulled the contents out of the bag and looked at the CD-R and it's clear case, allowing herself to smile genuinely and a small laugh escaped her lips. She remembered walking into the smallest of the three bedrooms in Nick's house that he used as an office. He had been working on a project for weeks in his spare time and no matter how many times she asked, he wouldn't tell her what it was. He'd just smile at her, the laugh lines around his eyes making her melt and tell her that she'd fine out when the time was right. She'd actually gotten to the point where her curiosity was getting the better of her and she'd just barge into the office, unannounced trying to find out what he was doing. He would still just laugh it off, but one day, when she tried to barge in again, she couldn't. Nick had locked the door. She always wondered what he was doing because she could hear him mumbling something . . . . she also knew that he worked on it when she wasn't around. They were on two different shifts, so there were times when he was alone and he could work in peace, knowing that she couldn't walk in on whatever he was doing . . . .

"So you were working on this, huh?" she asked out loud to the room, flipping the jewel case open gingerly and running her fingers over his neatly printed label on the top of the disc. "_To my Sunshine_."

**Flashback**

"Hey," Sara said as Nick walked into the locker room.

He glanced around the room, making sure they were alone. Satisfied that they were, he took two strides towards her, their bodies flush together. "Hey baby," he smiled against her lips before capturing them in a short, but amazing searing kiss. "I've missed you."

"Me too," she said, her eyes slowly fluttering open. "I can't wait for the weekend."

Nick grinned. "I never thought I'd hear the day when Sara Sidle announced that she was looking forward to a weekend off."

"Not just any weekend," she corrected him. "_Our_ weekend off. I feel like we've hardly seen each other this past week."

"I know," he sighed. "We just have to get through shift tonight and then we can be together." He brought her knuckles up to his lips, kissing the back of her hand tenderly. "I got us a room at that Spa Resort that you were checking out online."

Her eyes nearly popped out of her head. "The one in Scottsdale?" He nodded his head, a smile tugging at his lips. She squealed a little and launched herself at him, attacking his lips with fervor. "God I love you!"

He laughed happily. "Well that's good, 'cause I love you too. So," he said, leaning back to look her in the eyes, "I take it you approve of our getaway destination?"

"Mmm hmm," she smiled. "I just wish you'd said something earlier, 'cause then I could've gone shopping and bought a little present for you," she arched her eyebrows suggestively.

He laughed again. "Ah, no need. While they are very hot, we don't need 'em. They are a waste of money anyways. You never wear them for any length of time."

"And whose fault is that?" she challenged him, a smile of her own tugging at her lips. Even after being together for nine months, it still felt like it was there first time.

"Hmm . . ." he pretended to think. "Yours, actually. If you were so damned beautiful and irresistable."

She giggled, and slapped his bicep muscle, biting her lip.

"All I need is you, Sara," he said, turning slightly serious.

She groaned. "I wish were back at home," she leaned her forehead against his chest, avoiding looking into his eyes. If she did, she wouldn't be able to keep her hands off of him in that moment.

"Me too," he said huskily in her ear, his breath sending shivers down her spine. He gently took her ear lobe between his teeth, sucking and grazing gently, turning her knees to jelly.

"Nick, you have to stop," she said breathlessly, though her voice wasn't at all convincing.

"Aw, but I don't want too," he pouted, placing a trail of kisses down her neck and finding her jaw bone, placing chaste kisses all over her skin until he found her red lips.

Their lips collided against in a deep, soul searching kiss. The clung on to one another, never wanting to let go. Both sure they never would.

Nick's pager started to go off and he reluctantly pulled away from Sara's lips. He looked down at the screen, sighing.

"What's going on?" she asked, turning back to her open locker, trying to calm her rapidly beating heart. She grabbed her cell phone which she'd placed on the top shelf, and clipped it to her belt.

"It's Catherine," he answered. "Apparently Warrick and I are pulling a double tonight."

"Poor baby," she pouted back at him.

"As much as I'd like to catch up on sleep tonight, since I know I'm going to need it this weekend," he waggled his eyebrows, "I get to stick around here tonight. Maybe I'll get to spend some time with my beautiful girlfriend."

"Always looking at the bright side, huh?" she closed her locker with a thud. "Well, don't tell her about us, OK? I think she'd be jealous."

"What you think she doesn't know how to share?" he teased.

"Oh, I'm sure she does, but who would want to share you? I certainly wouldn't!"

He laughed whole heartedly. "I'd say the feeling is mutual," he grinned, leaning in to capture her lips again. "Oh, and I have a surprise for you this weekend."

"Kinky," she smirked.

"Sara," he drawled, amused. "It's something you've been bugging me about for a while now, actually."

She thought about it for a moment, "Oh! The project you've been working on. You're finally going to tell me what it is?" He shook his head and she pouted.

"Nope, I'm going to give it to you," he winked. "It's all yours."

"Nicky," she smiled wide, leaning it to capture his lips again.

When they pulled apart, Sara's ID clip fluttered to the ground, the metal clip making a slight noise when it hit the titled floor. Before Nick could reach down to grab it for her, she crouched down, grasping it firmly in her hands. When she stood up, she nearly lost her balance. On reflex, she reached out to grab Nick for support, and he automatically slipped his arms around her waist.

"Sar?" he asked protectively. "You OK?"

She brought her hand up to her forehead, her eyebrows pinching together slightly. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just, ah, a little dizzy."

"You feeling OK?" he felt her forehead, checking for a fever. She didn't feel warm.

"I haven't eaten anything all day," she supplied. "That's all it is."

"You have to eat, Honey," he admonished her.

'I'm going to grab an apple in the break room right now," she smiled at him once she felt like she'd regained her composure. She didn't want to tell him that the thought of food was making her sick. He was always overly concerned and while she appreciated it, it wasn't needed.

"OK," he said, raising one eyebrow, not really convinced. He sighed, letting his hands fall from her waist. "I'd better go find Warrick. And you -- you go eat something." She winked at him, nodding her head. "Good." He leaned down and placed another quick kiss on her waiting lips. "I'll make you breakfast after shift. Love you."

"Love you too," she smiled. They kissed quickly once more, having gotten used to testing the boundaries of their secret relationship at work. Truth be told, it was kind of exciting. They put some distance between themselves and walked out of the locker room, side by side. They said curt, but friendly goodbyes to one another as to not raise any suspicions and went in separate directions. Both turning around and smiling at each other before turning down another corridor of the lab.

Neither realized it would be the last time they'd see each other.

**End Flashback**

Sara wiped away the tears that were still streaming down her face as she now clutched the t-shirt and CD in her hands. Suddenly, the over whelming urge of sickness washed over her and she sprinted towards the nearest bathroom in the townhouse, purging herself of all the contents of her stomach. When she was done, she sat back on her heels, flushing the toilet. "I hate this."

She slowly stood up, fighting the dizziness that was fighting her for control. She stood on shaky legs as she rinsed out her mouth with some tap water and then splashed some of the cool liquid on her face. When she looked up in to the mirror, a realization hit her. The sickness, dizziness, the smells, the tiredness . . . . "Oh, God!" And with that, another wave of nausea hit her.

Five minutes later, she repeated rinsing out her mouth and splashing water on her face. She heard a car door shut, and then another, and then another. She raced out to the living room and noticed Warrick, Catherine and Greg all making their way up to the front door of the townhouse.

Quickly, she shoved the CD into her purse, and wiped her eyes. The front door opened. "Hey," she said tiredly, trying not to break down again.

Warrick smiled at her and Greg nodded.

"We thought you'd be here," Catherine said quietly. "Grissom told us what happened."

She nodded her head, turning away from the group, not able to look them in the eyes. She allowed her hair to fall beside her cheek, acting like a curtain - hiding her face.

"We're all dealing with it as best we can," Warrick started. "Grissom is just concerned about you. We all are."

She nodded her head silently, still not turning to look at them.

Greg didn't really know what to say or do, so he sat down on the couch and picked up a frame photo -- it was back when he'd officially become a Level 1. Not all that long ago. Soon, they were talking about old times and how much fun Nick had, and how much they always enjoyed themselves when he was around.

About thirty minutes after they arrived, Sara couldn't take it anymore. She needed to get out of there. She needed to be on her own. She needed Nick, but he wasn't there. So, she silently decided what she had to do. She had to run.

"I have to go," she said suddenly, standing up. She wobbled slightly, but didn't loose her balance.

"Do you need a ride anywhere?" Greg asked her.

She shook her head slightly. "I've got my Denali."

"Oh, right," Greg nodded, remembering that it had been him who spotted her Denali in Nick's driveway. They had left the diner in search of Sara, first checking her apartment and finding no sign of her. Afterwards, it had been a silent agreement between the three to drive around looking for her. And there first place to look was Nick's. And they'd hit the jackpot.

Catherine noticed the vacant look in her eyes. Almost like she was trying to process something, but got stuck on a little piece of information and couldn't quite grasp it. "Are you sure you OK, Sara?"

She nodded her head and managed a tight smile. "Yeah, I'm," she took a deep breath to steady her nerves, "positive."

She nodded, not believing Sara one bit. "Alright. Call if you need anything."

She managed a genuine half smile at that and then turned and walked out of Nick's door one last time.

TBC . . . . .


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for the replies! I love the response that this story is getting.

I disclaim . . . .

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_One week later._

"Any news?" Warrick asked as he entered the break room.

"Nope," Greg sighed tiredly. It had been one week since they'd last seen her. "It's like she just disappeared off the face of the earth."

"She's fine," Grissom 's voice boomed. He sounded more confident than he felt though.

They all knew that she'd taken Nick's death especially hard. Even Warrick, who was dealing with the good luck of the coin toss, was doing better than she was.

"I feel so useless," Warrick muttered into the hot cup of coffee that he'd just poured himself. "We're supposed to be one of the best labs in the country, and yet we've lost two of our best CSIs in less than a month."

"We did everything we could for Nick," Grissom answered, absently scrawling a word into a crossword puzzle. "Who ever set up the kidnapping will slip up eventually and Nick will finally get his justice."

"And what about Sara?" Greg asked. "She's out there, only God knows where, and we can't find her. She won't even call us!"

"Greg, we're doing everything we can," Gris stated calmly. He wanted to yell at the world at how unfair it all was, but at this point, there was no reason to think that Sara was never coming back. They had put out an APB on her car, and had flagged her credit cards, and bank cards, so if and when she used them, they would know when and where.

"I thought she'd have had to use her credit cards by now," Catherine said as she entered the room.

Warrick nodded his head in agreement. "No phone calls?"

She sighed. "Not since the evening that she bolted from Nick's place suddenly."

_Flashback_

_Cath absently grabbed her cordless phone from the cradle on the counter as she continued to prepare dinner for herself, Lindsay and her mother. "Hello?"_

_The only noise was a light sniffling on the other end. _

_"Sara?"_

_She involuntarily chuckled. "That obvious, huh?" she asked dryly._

_"Sweetie, are you OK?" Catherine asked, a motherly tone in her voice. She was greeted by more sniffles, so she continued, "Look, I'm just making dinner now. Lindsay went to the video store to grab a couple of movies and we're going to have a girls night. Why don't you join us?"_

_"That's really sweet," Sara said, her voice wavering as she tried to control the tears and emotions that were overwhelming her. "But I can't. I'm, uh, going out of town."_

_"What?" Catherine dropped the spoon in the boiling pasta. "When did you decide this? Where are you going? When are you coming back?"_

_Again, she chuckled, but this time, it was a little more genuine. "Slow down, one question at a time." When Catherine mumbled an apology, she smiled and continued. "I just decided. Grissom won't let me go back to work, so . . . . I just, I have to go."_

_"Why?" She really didn't know what to say and she wanted to know what was going on._

_"Because," was her simple answer. "Because everytime I turn around, I see him. Somewhere. And it hurts so bad."_

_"It won't always hurt this much," she tried to sooth the brunette over the phone lines._

_"It doesn't feel that way," Sara said quickly. She sighed, "I just keep thinking about how scared he must've been in that box, and how we couldn't get to him. And I keep seeing the gun at his chin, and the feel of how my heart was pounding in my chest when the monitor went black. The memories hurt, Cath. And he's everywhere. On the street corner, at the lab, on the Strip. I was in the grocery store a couple of days ago -- and I saw a box of microwaveable burritos. The brand Nick always buys and puts in the freezer at the Lab. Well, I knew that he'd run out, and I reached in to grab a box . . . I had almost put it in my basket when I realized that he wasn't going to be eating them. I just put the basket on the ground in the freezer aisle and left." She moved the phone away from her to blow her nose without Cath being completely assaulted by the noise. "Everyone keeps telling me that I have to accept that he's gone -- but how can I when everything I do, everywhere I go . . . I see him?"_

_Cath nodded her head. She could understand that. "Where are you going?"_

_"I don't know," she sighed. "I figured I'd just drive. See where the road takes me."_

_"Sara Sidle doesn't have a plan?" Cath teased._

_She smiled. "Shocking, huh?"_

_Her voice turned serious. "Not really. For a while now, you've changed. For the better. A bit more of a free spirit. You've been able to take things as they come. I don't why that is, but I hope you never loose it."_

_Sara nodded her head, though Cath couldn't see her. She knew why she'd changed. It was Nick. Being with him allowed her to let down her guard and just enjoy life. He showed her that sometimes in life, having a concrete plan just wouldn't work. And that if you constantly knew where life was going to take you, you'd be bored out of your mind. Half the fun of living are the little adventures along the way._

_"So, do you know when you'll be back?" Catherine asked after a few minutes of silence._

_"I hadn't really thought about it. Right now, I just need to get away. Clear my head. Get some perspective. Figure out what the next step is, you know? Grissom put me on leave indefinitely, so I don't have any time restraints."_

_"You know, I have some vacation time coming up. I could take a couple of days and drive to Arizona. We could have a Spa Weekend or something at one of those fancy resorts -- away from the glitz and glamor of Vegas."_

_Tears rolled down Sara's cheeks once again, and she furiously brushed them away from her eyes. Nick had surprised her, the last time they'd been together in the locker room, with a weekend spa getaway -- just the two of them, in Scottsdale, Arizona. "How about in Palm Springs?" she suggested. "A friend of mine from high school owns a Spa there. We could get some good rates."_

_"Sounds good," Cath supplied. She could hear the dull roar of a large engine in the background, followed by air suspension from brakes. "Sara? Where are you?"_

_"At a rest stop, a couple hours outside of the city," she answered quietly._

_"You've left already?" She was shocked. She took Sara's silence as admission. _

_"I didn't want you to worry," she breathed deeply. "I haven't really thought this through, honestly. When I left Nick's, I-"_

_"You knew you were going to take off then, didn't you?" Her tone wasn't accusatory, just worried and a little shocked._

_"Yeah," she whispered. "I didn't say anything because I didn't want you, or the guys to talk me out of it. I just went home, grabbed some clothes and left. I was half way here when I realized that I shouldn't have left without at least letting someone know what was going on. None of you should have to worry about me on top of everything else."_

_"You'll call, right?" Catherine waited. "When you get where ever it is that you're going, you'll call?"_

_"You don't need to worry about me," she answered. Truthfully, she wasn't sure she was ready and able to deal with everything yet, so how could she let her friends know what was possibly going on when she didn't even know how she felt about it? "Like I said, I have some things that I need to get perspective on. I have to go, Cath. Please tell everyone that I love them and will miss them. You too."_

_  
"Sara, you can tell them that yourself."_

_"Please!" she begged, starting to sound frantic. "Please do this for me. They need to know, and I have to do this for myself."_

_"Sara-" she tried again, but was cut off._

_  
Sara realized that Catherine was going to try and talk her off of the ledge she was on . . . . part of her wanted Cath to succeed, but the other part was terrified that if she didn't run, she'd end up falling, anyway. "I have to go." And with that, she hung up the pay phone, jumped in her car and drove off into the dark, starless night._

_"Sara?!" Catherine yelled into the phone, but the only answer she got was that of a dial tone. She sighed, placing the phone back in the cradle to charge the battery. She looked up at the ceiling, rubbing the back of her neck with her hand, "God help you," she muttered. Then she heard the slamming of the front door, signaling Lindsay's arrival back home._

_End Flashback_

"Do you think she's coming back?" Greg asked suddenly.

Cath looked at him, shrugging her shoulders. "I'd like to think so."

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Sara sat on the hood of her car, her legs stretched out, her back resting against the windshield.

The Texas sky was setting over the Stokes Family Ranch and she couldn't help but take in it's beauty. She was in awe that such a beautiful place existed. And that Nick grew up here. It was a place that he'd talked about fondly over the years they'd known each other, and had begun to share photos of his home and family with her once they had begun their relationship. Since relationships within the Lab fell within a grey area of the policy, they'd decided to remain quiet and see where the relationship took them. It wasn't long after that decision that the team had been split. Time alone had become a precious commodity.

When she heard the roar of a truck engine behind her, she turned around. An older man climbed out of the drivers seat and approached her cautiously.

"Do you need help, Miss?" he asked her cautiously.

Sara felt a tight smile spread across her face. "Hello Mr. Stokes," she greeted casually as if seeing him, here, was an everyday occurance.

He stood still for a few minutes, taking her in, letting recognition wash over him. "Ms. Sidle?"

She nodded her head once in a silent confirmation. "You can call me Sara."

"What're you doing here?" he asked her, his tone softening as he approached her car slowly.

'It's kind of a long story," she offered him a half smile.

He nodded his head, not pushing her. "How long've you been here?" he tried again.

"Not really sure," she shrugged. "Nick once showed me a picture that he'd taken of the Ranch from somewhere around here. Told me it was one of his favorite spots to sit and think when he was a kid. I was just driving down the road, noticed it looked almost exactly like the picture, and stopped. I just sat down and the concept of time kind of disappeared."

He casually leaned against the hood of the car and nodded in understanding. "Yeah, I know what you mean. Since we lost Nicky, I just start thinking and time gets away from me too."

"How'd you know I was here?" she asked after a few minutes.

"I was in town doing some banking when Jillian called," he pointed towards the house which had a perfect view of the hill. "She said she noticed a car way out here, just sitting. It's not unusual. A lot of people pull off the highway for a detour and decide to take a nap on the side of a country road. But she was concerned when she looked out and it was still here a couple of hours later. I told her that I would check it out on my way back."

"I didn't mean to frighten her," Sara said, a little embarrassed.

"Why don't you follow me back?" Bill asked her, and continued without giving her a chance to answer. "You look like you could use a break from all this driving," he noticed her Nevada license plates, "maybe a decent nights sleep and a good meal."

"I don't want to impose," she responded.

Bill nodded his head. "I'm sure that's true, but you wouldn't be imposing on anyone. There must be a reason why you came here all the way from Las Vegas. I'm not going to push you, or anything, because that's your business. But I know that seeing you will put a smile on Jillian's face. She just hasn't been the same since we lost him." He made eye contact with her, "Seeing one of Nicky's friends might just be what the doctor ordered. For all of us."

"Mr. Stokes, I-"

"The name is Bill, darlin'," he said softly but firmly. She smiled -- Nick was definitely his fathers son. "And don't even think about turning me down. I won't hear of it." He reached out and gave her shoulder a friendly squeeze before turning back towards his truck. When he got the drivers side door, he called out to her, "You'll follow me?"

She sighed, knowing that there was no turning back now. She was stuck. They had to know. They had a right to know. She tried to put on a bright smile. "Yeah, I'll follow."

"Good," he smiled kindly at her before jumping in to his truck and starting off for home.

TBC . . . .


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks for the response! It's been amazing. I can't even begin to describe how happy I am that you all love this story.

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"Jillian?" Bill called, entering the house, Sara quietly entering behind him.

"In here," the elderly woman called from the kitchen.

Bill nodded his head for Sara to follow him. Quietly, the two entered the large, country style kitchen. Bill walked easily up behind his wife, hugging her from behind and planting a kiss on her cheek.

Sara smiled bitterly. That was how Nick greeted her from time to time.

"I found a surprise for you," she heard Bill whisper to Jillian. "Turn around."

It was then that Sara came face to face with the woman who shared Nick's eyes.

"Sara?" she asked quietly, not quite believing it to be her.

"Hello Mrs. Stokes. I hope I'm not intruding," she greeted as calmly as she could.

The older woman fought back a torrent of tears as she threw her tea towel onto the counter and took a few giants steps towards Sara. She brought the woman close to her chest, hugging her tightly. "It's so good to see you, dear."

Sara returned the hug a little uncomfortably, but grateful that so far she'd had a warm reception.

"Please," she whispered in Sara's ear, "call me Jillian."

When the woman stepped out of the hug, Sara smiled at her. "How are you doing?"

Nick's mother gave Sara a tired, half smile. "We're managing. It's hard. Sometimes it doesn't seem real. Nicky lived in Vegas for so long and we rarely saw him. Sometimes it just seems like he's forgotten to call home to check in. A parent should never loose their child. It's just not right." She stepped back to the cutting board, picked up her knife and started chopping vegetables for a salad. She motioned for Sara to take a seat across from her at the island on a stool. "I suppose it's harder for you and everyone back at the lab."

Sara looked down at her hands, not really sure of what to say.

"You all saw him every day and then suddenly, he'd just not around anymore," Jillian continued.

Sara nodded her head solemnly. "Yeah, it definitely doesn't seem real. Everyone loved him. Everyone misses him."

Jillian nodded her head. "The support we've been getting from people around here," she sniffed, pushing the tears back, "it's amazing. Nick was such a great man - but I guess I don't have to tell you that, now do I?"

Sara smiled warmly. "No. You don't."

"Anyway, people are so saddened that he's gone. For a while, we were getting so many flower arrangements and casseroles. Finally, Bill just said that anyone who wanted to make one last gesture in Nick's honor should donate money to a charity of their choice in his name. He supported so many that it was hard to choose just one. And we've been getting so many pictures from his friends from high school. Takes us back. Makes me want to turn back time and hold my baby one more time." The tears rolled down her face and Sara couldn't stand it anymore. The tears cascaded down her cheeks. Sara stood up and walked around the island, pulling Jillian to her in a comforting embrace.

"Yeah," Sara whispered. "I know what you mean."

Bill stood back and watched as the two women clung to each other for comfort. He wasn't like his wife -- he didn't wear his heart on his sleeve. But he was torn up inside over the loss of his son.

"Would you like some coffee, Sara?" he asked suddenly, pulling out two coffee mugs from the cupboard, anticipating that she would. "Nick always said that you CSIs lived on coffee."

She inhaled deeply, enjoying the aroma. "Decaf?"

Bill scoffed slightly, but smiled at Sara. "That's not the way it's done in Texas. We either do it right, or not at all."

She chuckled. "Do you have any orange juice?"

"Sure do," he placed the mug back in the cupboard and reached for a regular drinking glass.

"So, what brings you to our fine State?" Jillian asked, resumming her vegetable chopping.

"Vegas just seemed too small," she answered evasively. She wanted to just tell them what she needed to, but how? She'd pondered that for nearly 1100 miles. She'd decided against just blurting it out. That would be a big shock. But how could she ease into it?

"And?" Jillian asked, throwing a quick glance at Sara. "Vegas seemed too small, and . . . "

Sara looked at the woman for a moment. She started to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Bill asked as he grabbed a few dinner plates from the cabinet, and some cutlery from the drawer.

"Nothing," she said between giggles. Her emotions were frayed and she felt dangerously close to just spilling the news in any fashion it chose to tumble out of mouth. Once she calmed down, she apologized. "Sorry, I'm just kind of all over the place right now. It's just . . . . being here, seeing you two . . . . I see Nick. He's definitely your son, Mr. St -" he raised an eyebrow at her, and she corrected herself, "Bill." She looked at Jillian who was smiling kindly again, obviously pleased that Sara could see her and her husband in their son. "And Nick always knew when there was something else. Something that I wasn't saying. Just like you did just now."

"He was always really perceptive," Bill nodded. "Intuition. I suppose that's what made him such a great CSI." Sara nodded.

"I don't mean to pry, Dear," Jillian said as she picked up the salad bowl and walked over the table with it, "but something big brought you to Texas. I can tell. Call it . . . . I guess mothers Intuition wouldn't be quite right . . . "

Sara fought the ironic smile that threatened to spread across her face. Mothers Intuition might actually be right . . . .

"It's lonely without him," she answered.

"Ah," Bill said suddenly, both women turning to look at him curiously. He looked at them like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Sorry."

"No, no, no," Jillian said, failing miserably at hiding the smirk that was gracing her lips. "What was that all about?"

He shrugged.

"Oh, no you don't!" Jillian allowed a slight laugh to escape past her lips. "You're not getting off that easy!"

He glanced at Sara and realized she was just as confused as Jillian was. He sighed in defeat. "You must be the 'Ray of Sunshine' Nicky told me about."

Sara recoiled back a bit, remembering back to a few months after she first met him, when he called her Sunshine for the first time. And since they'd started dating, he had frequently called her Sunshine. "Excuse me?" she sat down at the dinner table, her knees going weak.

Jillian sat the rest of the food down on the table and took a seat as well. Bill took a seat after they were both firmly seated, and waiting for him to continue.

"Nick told me that he was seeing someone," Bill answered.

"What? Why didn't he tell me?" Jillian was shocked. "I asked him, but he was always evasive."

"Perhaps it's because you were always so eager to see him marry and start a family," Bill shrugged. He turned to Sara. "He was his own man when it came to matters of the heart. All of our other children are married and have families of their own. We both wanted to see him happy. Find a nice woman and have a couple of kids."

"Oh," she managed, feeling like the best thing in the world would be for the kitchen floor to open up and swallow her whole.

"I only wanted to see him happy," Jillian defended herself.

Bill placed a gentle hand on her arm. "I know, Darlin', I know. And Nick knew that. But he felt pressured sometimes by you and his sisters. He just needed someone to talk to and I guess he felt like his father was the best man for the job." He smiled at the thought.

Jillian glanced at Sara and noticed her eyes were glassy, and though she was staring at the orange juice in her glass, she was somewhere else entirely. She reached out and patted Sara's arm. "Whenever I spoke to him the last year or so, he seemed happy. And if that was because of you," her voice quivered, "I can't thank you enough."

"You raised an incredible son," Sara choked out. "But I had no idea that he had told you," she turned to Bill.

He nodded silently, putting a generous helping of meat on his plate. "He didn't really say much, just that he and his Sunshine were taking things slowly. I always asked for a name, but he said it was better this way."

Sara laughed. "We didn't tell anyone," she sighed. "Policy on co-workers dating was kind of a grey area, so we just kept it to ourselves. He always called me Sunshine though. Sometimes, we'd be in the break room and he'd say something -- no one would catch on, and we'd laugh. Twenty minutes later, we'd be at our separate crime scenes, and I'd get a voice message on my cell. He always called me Sunshine on the phone. Always. Unless it was work related, anyway." She took the bowl of salad that Jillian was offering and placed the greens on her dinner plate. "We agreed that it was best not to use our real names when calling each other the phone. Less chance of slipping up that way."

"How long were you two together?" Jillian asked quietly.

"A little over nine months," she answered.

Bill's smile became even broader. Sara noticed and smiled at him curiously. "He loved you. He never told me, but I could tell. I don't want to hurt you, or anything, but I was sure that he was going to bring you home to meet the family soon."

Her chin quivered at the thought, and she fought the tears even harder.

"I also thought that when you two did come for a visit, he'd pull me aside and ask me for his Grandmothers engagement ring."

She let the tears openly flow and a she sniffed a little, taking in a sudden gulp of air. She wiped the tears. "He was the best thing that ever happened to me."

"You were the best thing that happened to him, too," Bill said, placing a hand on top of hers.

"I have to tell you something," she blurted out, more tears flowing out of her eyes. "I don't really know how. This would've been hard enough telling Nick . . . " she pushed the salad around in her plate, then realized how that must've sounded. Her head shot up, "Not that I wouldn't have told him. I just . . . . God, this hard. Harder than I thought."

Both Jillian and Bill sat poker straight in their chairs, bracing themselves. "You can tell us," Jillian encouraged. "It can't be that bad, right?"

"I loved him with all of my heart," she said. "More than I thought I could love anyone. We never really talked about marriage, or the future. At least, no more than a couple of weeks at a time. And it's not like we were trying, or anything, but -"

"You're rambling, Dear," Jillian said, leaning foward and taking one of Sara's hands in hers.

"Sorry," she smiled apologetically. She looked down at her lap, glancing at her flat stomach. She looked up. "I'm pregnant."

Jillian and Bill sat there, stunned into silence.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, standing up and placing her napkin down beside her dinner plate. "I'll leave."

TBC . . . .


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for the replies. I absolutely love checking my email and seeing how many people respond -- and so quickly, too. The more responses I get, the faster the updates:) I actually would've had the last chapter up a few days earlier but the site wouldn't let me load the document.

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Sara wiped at the tears that were cascading down her pale skin as she headed for the front door of the Stokes home. It wasn't that she was expecting either of Nick's parents to be over joyed with the news . . . but she'd expected a reaction, not silence.

She reached out for the door knob, turning it and exiting the house as quietly as she'd entered, but this time, the door squeaked, asking to be oiled.

Jillian heard the noise of the front door and was startled out of her thoughts. She was leaving. She jumped up quickly, knocking over the wooden chair that she'd been sitting in in her attempt to reach Sara before it was too late.

Bill noticed a flash of greying brown hair flying behind his wife as she took off, and quickly followed.

"Sara!" Jillian hollered, yanking the front door of her large country home. She raced out onto the covered wrap-around deck, the screen door snapping shut behind her so quickly that Bill jumped when it nearly accosted him.

"Please, don't go," Jillian sobbed as she made her way towards Sara as quickly as she could, though she was barefoot on a gravel driveway. She reached out her hand and touched the womans shoulder, effectively stopping her. But she didn't turn around. "I'm sorry . . . I just . . . . we just . . . Sara, we're shocked, is all."

Sara nodded her head, which was bowed toward the ground. Her shoulders shook slightly and she gasped for air. The tears were pouring like rain in the rain forest during a heavy storm.

"Would you come inside?" Bill asked quietly as he approached the two women. "I think we have some things that we need to talk about."

Sara took a deep breath to calm her frayed emotions and to get some of her barings back. She nodded her head. "Yeah, I guess that'd be OK." When she turned around, she offered them a tired, weary smile.

Bill extended his arm out and took the keys to her car from Sara's hand. He hit the power unlock button and reached into the back seat for her duffle bag, slinging it over his shoulder. When he turned around, he saw Jillian and Sara leaning against one another, arms around the others waist as they silently walked back to the front door. He smiled sadly, hitting the automatic lock button. The cars horn honked in answer that it was indeed locked up tight. He looked up at the big, Texas sky. Stars shining brightly. "You did good, Poncho. Real good." Then he followed in the footsteps of his wife and Sara, and headed towards the front door.

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The remainder of the night shift all sat cross legged on Nick's living room floor, sorting through Nick's pictures. A large amount were left loose in a box, while others had been neatly pressed into photo albums. They had been entrusted by Nick's parents to sort through his personal belongings. It was just too hard for them to do emotionally, and being that they were so far away physically, entrusting Nick's best friends and co-workers, with whom he trusted his life, seemed like the right thing to do.

They had gone through the baby book, which had a note inside which let them know that the pictures were of Nick and his siblings at various stages of infancy to kindergarden. Even though his mother still held his baby book at home, full of photos of no one but him, she'd given him the book as a reminder of he and his siblings. It had been one of those sentimental Christmas gifts, which Nick had obviously held dear to him. All of the Stokes children had received the same one that very year. The other albums had consisted of sporting events that he'd attended over the years. From Dallas Cowboys games to Nascar races at the Las Vegas Speedway, they were all there. He was definitely a big fan of sports. Another had been of his parents, and their lives together. Another of extended family. Another of family reunions and holidays. Another of his days in high school, and the last one, his days in college.

Catherine dumped the box of loose photos on to the floor. "Men," she grumbled.

Grissom smirked. "As much as I like order and semblence," he started, "somethings just aren't worth the time."

Warrick snorted. "Aint that the truth," he agreed. Catherine's glare fixed on the dark man. He looked at her, and apologized quickly. "Well, I'm sorry. But how often do you pull out your photo albums and flip through the pages? How often do you find the time to organize the new photos you've taken and place them in an album?" She just continued to stare, but said nothing. "That's what I thought."

"Nick's family would probably like to have these," Greg said, grabbing random pictures from various places in the pile. "They're of his time here in Vegas."

"Of us," Catherine said, her eyes tearing up. She picked up a picture and smiled.

_Flashback_

_"Come pway wif me," Lindsay begged as she grabbed his hand._

_"All right, all right, Little Darlin'," he drawled, allowing the small blond girl to lead him towards the trampoline._

_"Lindsay," Catherine scolded her. "Manners, young lady."_

_"Sowwy," she offered timidly, "Come pway wif me, pwease!" She begged, though she giggled at the end, knowing full well that Nicky would do anything she asked of him._

_Catherine stood back on the stone patio of her home in her back yard. The hot afternoon sun was sweltering, and it was her little girls birthday. The party was long since over and Eddie had yet to return home. She was livid, and the little girl was obviously disappointed, but having her favorite Uncles, Nick and Warrick, helped ease her pain. Warrick stepped back outside, sliding the patio door shut in an attempt to keep the cool air inside, and the hot out. _

_  
"You're little girl is something else," Warrick commented. Though he couldn't say he was jealous of Catherine's marriage, he could definitely say he was unhappy. Eddie was an ass for treating her and their daughter the way that he did. He could only hope that one day, if he were really lucky, he could find a woman like Catherine and their child, or children, would be as blessed as Lindsay was to have a mother like she did. _

_Catherine nodded her head solemnly, bringing the camera up to her eye, looking through the view finder. She watched as Nick easily lifted Lindsay up onto the trampoline that Eddie had assembled on one of his rare 'good days.' He quickly followed, standing on the bouncing surface, bobbing his knees, making the material sway. Lindsay giggled and held out her hands for Nick to take so they could easily jump hand in hand. The flash went off and she sighed. "I just hope that Eddie get's his act together," she admitted quietly. "She's only three now, but I know that him not being here today upset her."_

_  
"You too," Warrick pointed out._

_"I'm beyond upset," she answered without emotion. "Believe me, Eddie's going to be singing soprano when he gets home. But right now, I'm just more concerned about what Eddie's lacking in the parental skills department. It won't be long until Linday starts to hold grudges and I don't want her to be bitter."_

_  
Catherine, ever quick with reflexes, brought the camera up, and framing the picture, taking a shot. Nick had just suddenly brought his legs out from under himself, falling onto the material. His weight sent the young, light girl soaring in to the air as she laughed happily._

_Warrick chuckled. "No matter what," he said, "and believe me, I know it's not the same, but she'll always have Nick and I in her life."_

_Catherine smiled, and leaned into Warrick lightly. "I'm counting on the two of you to show her that there really are good men in this world."_

_End flashback_

Catherine sat the photo back into the box, knowing that she had a copy of it back home . . .

"What're these?" Grissom asked as he pulled an envelope stuffed with pictures. He pulled out the glossy stack. "Oh, it's from the confrence in New York City."

Greg peered over Grissom's shoulder, checking out the pics. "Oh yeah. From a few months back. I told them that they had to eat at Junior's," he said proudly. While his family wasn't from the city itself, having studied at NYU for a few years, he felt like that city was home to him. And he loved it.

"Ha!" Warrick chuckled, grabbing a picture from the stack still firmly held in Grissom's hands. He glanced up and saw three curious faces, so he turned the photo around and showed the group. "Not too long before they went to the conference, Nick and I were in the breakroom," he started. "There was some Entertainment show on and some celebrity was standing in the middle of Times Square holding out his arms like he was presenting the world with this gem. Like they'd created it. We laughed it off, thinking it was really cheesey. Sara came in and saw what we were laughing at. She said she'd find a way to get Nick to do the same thing." Warrick turned the picture around to look at it wistfully. He'd forgotten about that conversation until he'd seen the picture. "I guess she succeeded." He thought back to that day and could vaguely remember a look that had passed between the two when she said that she'd get Nick to do it . . . and Nick's response of 'I don't doubt you will' . . .

Grissom sat the stack of pictures down and Catherine reached for one. "Oh, this is cute," she commented. "They obviously hit some of the tourist attractions." In her hand, she held a picture of the two of them on the top, and outside, of the Empire State Building. It was evening and the city was lit up. Must've been chilly as both Nick and Sara were bundled up in heavy jackets and scarves. A slight skiff of snow was sitting on the ledge, and a few flakes were falling down onto the city behind them. Nick was obviously holding the camera as his arms were stretched out in front of them and Sara was settled against his chest, her head lolled to the side, sitting in the crook of his neck. Though it took a fairly decent and close up picture of their faces, she could clearly see the Chrysler Building behind them.

Greg smirked. "At least he wasn't taking a picture of just himself."

"Here they are in Central Park," Grissom said. They were standing in front of a cement bench near Bethesda's Fountain. The snow was obviously deep. Of course, they had all known that. During the time of the conference, the city had ended up at a virtual stand still as a huge snow storm blew in and closed all major airports up and down the Eastern Sea Board. They're trip had been extended by nearly four days due to all the delays. He furrowed his brow, noting how Nick's arm was slipped around her lower back, his leather gloved hand, slightly gripping her hip. He noticed that although her arm was around his waist too, he couldn't see her hand. He chalked it up to the fact that it wasn't inframe as the photo had been taken obviously by a third party with a less than steady hand. Not only was her hand not in frame, but the picture was slightly angled. Little did he know, her hand had discreetly dipped into the back pocket of his jeans, cupping his ass. Hence, the large smile across his face.

"Oh yeah," Catherine smiled. "Sara told me about Central Park buried in all that snow. She loved it. Said they had a snow ball fight and acted like five year olds."

"I can't imagine Sara acting like a kid," Greg shrugged.

"Nicky could bring that side out of anyone if he tried hard enough," Warrick commented. "He and Sara were tight. I bet he could've asked her to do just about anything and she'd do it."

"I felt kind of bad for her though," Greg said. "Before they left, Sara had mentioned always wanting to take a carriage ride through the park with someone that she loved. Nick said he'd take her if she'd have him."

"Ever the gentleman," Catherine smiled. "Don't feel too bad, though," she glanced at Greg. "He did take her for that carriage ride before the park was burried. The first night they were there, as a matter of fact. Sara had mentioned to me when they made it home that they'd gone out the evening that they'd arrived. It was snowing that night too."

"Oh, here's one," Greg said, sifting through the pictures and pulling one out. They were sitting on the bench in the back of the horse drawn carriage. Obviously Sara was holding the camera this time. Nick had his left arm craddled around her waist and his chin rested on her right shoulder. They leaned their heads against one another, smiling broadly.

"Man they looked so happy," Warrick commented.

"They would have made a cute couple," Grissom observed and said almost too quiet for anyone to hear. But they did hear him. He sighed and waved it off. Yes, although he did have romantic feelings for Sara, he knew that he would never act on them. It would be unfair of him if he wanted her to be waiting in the wings for him to get it together.

"They would've been great together, too," Catherine decided to say. "I never really noticed before now, but they would've been."

"Opposites attract," Warrick nodded.

"But no matter what, we'd still be here right now. And if they had been together, Sara would be hurting a whole lot more right now," Greg pointed out. "She's obviously taking it pretty hard as it is."

The four sat in silence and continued to sort through the photos of their departed friend.

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The three adults sat in the living room not saying much of anything. An uncomfortable silence hung in the air, no one really knowing where to begin, but knowing that someone had to make the first move.

"How are you?" Jillian finally decided on how to start. "I mean, how are you really?"

This time, Sara offered her a tired smile. It would be useless to say that she was fine. She was far from it. "Scared."

Jillian nodded. "I understand. We were trying to conceive, but it still didn't lessen the shock any when we found out we were expecting our oldest."

Sara nodded her head. She didn't think Jillian truly understood, but it didn't really matter. "Nick and I weren't trying, though. We were being careful," she thought about that little pack of birth control pills that she took faithfully. She'd never missed a single pill, and had always taken it at the same time. "I guess we just fell into that small percentage where it doesn't work." She looked down at her hands, fidgeting nervously with her finger nails that were becoming shorter by the day. She'd been gnawing at them all the way from Arizona to Texas and was surprised she had any nails left at all. "I never thought of myself as a mother."

"You don't want children?" Bill asked tentatively. He didn't want to scare her off, but he knew that he didn't want his grandchild being raised by strangers. He wanted a chance to know his youngest childs baby. And if he and Jillian couldn't convince Sara to keep the baby, they would raise their grandchild . . . assuming that she planned to carry on with the pregnancy at all . . . .

Sara's hand found her abdomen. "I love this baby. But I've never thought of myself as mother material. The idea of having a baby scares the shit out of me, actually. But he made me see myself differently. That maybe I could be a good mother." She blinked back tears. "I only just started to let myself believe that we could work out. That we could have a good life together. That maybe we'd have kids . . . . but he's gone. And now I'm pregnant."

"But you're not alone," Jillian said quietly as she removed herself from her perch on the sofa beside Bill. She sat down beside sara on the love seat and wrapped her arms around the young woman.

"What are you going to do?" Bill asked her. "I mean, are you going back to work in Vegas, or . . . ?" He really didn't know what else she would be doing . . .

Sara shook her head. "Not right now. Grissom put me on an LOA, and -"

"Why did he do that?"

Sara looked down at her hands, avoiding their stares. When Jillian grasped one of her hands in her own, Sara couldn't help but look up and meet the womans gaze. "I can't make it seem real." She sniffed, furiously brushing the torrent of tears away from her eyes. "Everyone has told me that he's gone. He's not coming back. But I can't accept that."

Jillian tried her best to keep her own tears at bay. She knew all to well what Sara was feeling. "It doesn't seem real to me either."

"I don't feel it in my heart. If he's gone, wouldn't I feel it?"

Bill smiled sympathetically at the CSI before him. If he hadn't known about 'Sunshine', and Sara had been a complete shock to him, he would've laughed at such a ridiculous comment. How could someone who'd been dating his son for only nine months have that deep of a connection to literally feel if he were gone? But from speaking with Nick about his Sunshine, he knew that they were connected on a deep level. Beyond comprehension.

"What have you been doing since he put you on LOA?" Bill asked her.

"Honestly . . . just driving around. I was so mad at him for doing that. I felt like working was all I had left to keep me sane. And he took that away from me. I realized a few hours later that I was pregnant. I didn't take a test, or see the doctor. I just knew. I realized that in Nick's house. And even though I was terrified, I could almost feel him there with me."

"Have you seen the doctor since then?" Jillian asked.

Sara nodded. "Nick was going to take me to Arizona the weekend that it happened," she said, not able to say the words. "When I left Vegas, I just got in my car and drove. I ended up in Scottsdale. I rented a room at the resort we were going to stay at. I realized that if it was the last thing I could do for him, I could have his baby. So, I took the test and it was positive. I saw the doctor the next morning and she confirmed it. I'm about a month and a half along." Her heavy eyes drooped and she surpressed a yawn.

Bill looked at his watch and noticed how late it had gotten. "We can talk more in the morning," he said. "You look exhausted."

Jillian nodded in agreement. "Bill, will you put her bag in Nick's room?"

"Oh no," Sara shook her head, standing up. "I don't want to put you out."

"You're not," Bill said in a tone that reminded Sara of when Nick was protective. "Besides, you're having our grandchild. A bed to sleep on, and a room to stay in, is the least we can do."

"If you're sure," Sara smiled genuinely.

"Absolutely," Jillian nodded, taking Sara's arm and threading it with her own. "We wouldn't have it any other way."

Bill grabbed the duffle bag from the foot of the staircase and made his way upstairs, his wife and Sara following behind him . . .

TBC . . .


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks for the replies!

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Sara woke up to the early morning Texas sun filtering through the blue blinds in Nick's childhood bedroom. It was obvious that this was Nick's room when he was a teenager as Dallas Cowboy posters, and football paraphenalia lined the walls and shelves. Including his trophy from leading his High School football team to the State Championship and winning. His team picture was framed and hanging near the trophy. Nick was the Quarterback.

Jillian had lead Sara into the room with teary eyes, explaining that she had sat in his room for many hours since she and Bill had returned from Vegas because it made her feel closer to Nick. She'd also said that when Nick left home, and went to college, she didn't change anything about his room. She wanted him to know that no matter what, he would always have a room at their home.

"This is where your Daddy grew up, Baby," she said softly to her stomach, her palm flat against her abdomen. As much as she fought it, a tear slipped down her face. She didn't want to believe that Nick would never get to feel the baby kick inside of her. That'd he'd never see it's picture during an ultrasound. That he wouldn't be beside her in the delivery room. That'd he'd never hold his son or daughter. That his son or daughter would never meet him and find out for themselves what an incredible man he was.

knock, knock

"Sara? Are you awake, Dear?" Jillian asked softly from behind the closed door in the hallway.

She cleared her throat and wiped away the tear that was falling down her cheek. "Yes, I'm up. Come in." She pushed herself up right in the bed, the covers falling to her waist.

Jillian slowly entered and gave her a comforting, but small, smile. "Good morning."

"Morning," she smiled back with her sleep laden voice.

"Did you sleep well?" Jillian asked hesitantly. It wasn't until long after she'd gone to bed, after hours of lying awake thinking about her son, and now, his unborn child, that she wondered if having Sara sleep in his bed was such a good idea. Bill who'd been tossing and turning all night knew what she was thinking and told her that Sara would be fine, and if not, they could make a different arrangement in the morning.

"Yeah," she sighed. "I did. It's a little weird though. This is a side of Nick that he only told me about. Now I'm in the middle of it. But it makes me feel closer to him."

Jillian smiled warmly, nodding in understanding. That is why she spent hours in that room, just soaking in Nick the way she remembered.

"I just wanted to tell you that breakfast is ready if you're hungry. If you're not, you can always eat later," she answered.

Sara's face paled as the smell of a good country breakfast wafted up the stairs and into the bedroom. "Oh, God," her hand flew up to her mouth and she leapt from the bed as quickly as she could, running to the bathroom that was ajoined to another one of the upstairs bedrooms. She emptied the contents of her stomach which consisted of next to nothing.

Jillian followed behind Sara, grabbing a clean glass from the counter behind the sink, thankful that she'd thought about bringing it upstairs. "I thought the glass might come in handy," she said quietly, filling it with cold tap water. She handed it to a grateful Sara who was sitting on her heels, perched over the toilet in anticipation that it wasn't over. "Bill started to anticipate my morning sickness and kept a clean glass in our bathroom for moments exactly like this."

Sara nodded her head, but instantly regretted it as another wave of nausea washed over her. She sat the glass down roughly on the tiled floor, the glass clanking loudly against the hard material, as she threw up again.

Jillian bent down and rubbed Sara's lower back in soothing, small circles. "Better?"

"I guess," she said, her voice echoing into the bowl. "I hate this," she groaned.

"It'll pass," Jillian said comfortingly.

"My sense of smell is just so sensitive right now," she said, slowing sitting back and leaning against the bath tub, taking comfort in the cold surface it provided against her back.

"Oh, no," Jillian felt horrible. "Sara, I didn't mean for . . . I'm so sorry."

Sara offered her a genuine smile. "No, it's OK. Yesterday morning I was at a hotel and it was the smell of the breakfast muffins that did me in. Today is completely different."

"I wasn't really sure what you'd want. If there is anything you'd like, let me know and I can whip it up for you."

Sara smiled gratefully. "If you don't mind, I think I'm just going to camp out up here for a little bit. Give the smell a chance to subside a little."

Jillian nodded. "I could bring you something," she offered.

"No, that's alright," she declined. "Food isn't terribly appetizing right now."

Jillian understood the feeling, but a sense of protectiveness washed over her. "Sara, you're eating for two now, and -"

"I know," she smiled softly. "And I will eat. I just need to let my stomach settle." Jillian looked apprehensive for a moment, but nodded her head after a moment, smiling. She turned to leave the bathroom, but stopped when Sara spoke. "Jillian?" Sara watched the woman turn around and meet her gaze. "Thank you. For everything."

"You're welcome, Dear," she said. "Bill is working from home today. He'll be in and out of the house, going to the stables and doing little things around the Ranch. I have to go into the office, but I'll be back around two this afternoon. I hope you'll stay . . . ? I think we still have a couple of things to talk about, hmm?"

Sara smiled. "Yeah, sure. I'll be here when you get back."

"Good," Jillian sighed. She felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. "I'll see you this afternoon then."

Sara nodded her head in slight affirmation, happy that it didn't induce more sickness. She watched as Jillian exited the washroom, then heard the gentle click of the bedroom door closing behind her.

Twenty minutes later, Sara exited the bathroom, wrapped in a bath towl, and using a second towel to dry her hair. She opened her suitcase and searched the clothes for something to wear. But her hand hit a hard case. Knowing what it was, she pulled it out. Looking at the discs label, she traced Nick's scrawl tenderly. She put it aside, still having been unable to listen to it, to hear it's contents. She continually glanced at it as she ran her hair brush through her wet, tangled hair. She pulled on a pair of jeans and a white tank top.

She backed up to the bed, sitting down, her eyes now completely glued on the jewel case. She chewed on her bottom lip nervously. When a warm breeze blew in through the window, caressing her like a warm hug, she smiled, knowing it was time.

She stood back up and walked the short distance to the dresser, grabbing the case gingerly. She walked to the other side of the room where Nick's CD player sat, obviously a new addition to the room. She placed the disc in the player then sat back down on the bed, CD remote firmly in hand.

Breathing deeply, she pressed play. Immediately, tears welled up in her eyes, but she smiled brightly as Nick's voice filtered through the room.

_"So, this is what I've been working on," he said, and she could hear the smile that was obviously firmly affixed to his face. "I feel kind of stupid right now, sitting here in the office, talking to myself. You're at work. You're definitely a curious one, Sunshine," he chuckled. "I've pretty much been unable to work on it when you're around. Always wanting to know what I'm doing."_

Sara laughed quietly, wiping away the tears that were now falling freely and quickly.

_"I decided that I wanted to make you a CD. I know I tell you all the time how much I love you," she smiled even wider at that because he did tell her all the time. And she told him that she loved him back, all the time. "But sometimes it's just not enough. And I know that the guys always give me hell for liking - pardon me - loving country music," he chuckled again, correcting himself, "but some of the songs really do describe how much I love you, though not even these songs could tell you just how much. I'm not sure I could even do justice to telling you just how much."_

She heard him move around a little, the rustling of sheets, and him repositioning himself in the chair, acoustic guitar in hand.

_"So, I have a few songs that I wanted to put on this CD for you. Sing to you. I spent a lot of time trying to narrow it down, but it was really difficult. I hope that once I've given this to you, you'll be able to realize just how much I love you. Cherish you. Want to spend my life with you. I've never loved anyone the way that I love you, Sara. And I never will again. You're it for me."_

She leaned back against the fluffy pillows, knowing that she wouldn't be able to stop crying . . . .

"_I probably shouldn't start with this song," she heard him say, "but I think it's probably one of the most important songs. I don't ever want you to doubt how I feel. Not ever."_

Sara listened the chords that Nick was strumming on his guitar. It was framiliar, but she couldn't quite place it.

_Sometimes late at night_

_I lie awake and watch her sleeping_

_Shes lost in peaceful dreams_

_So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark_

_And the thought crosses my mind_

_If I never wake up in the morning_

_Would she ever doubt the way I feel_

_About her in my heart_

"Oh, Nick," she sniffed, pulling a pillow out from behind her and hugging it to her chest. She looked at his High School Graduation picture that sat on the night side table. Jillian had told her that Nick hadn't wanted it there, but after he went off to college, she put it in there anyway. She liked being able to walk into the room and feel her son all around. She also said that any time Nick would come home to visit, she would remove the photo, and then put it back when it he left.

_If tomorrow never comes_

_Will she know how much I loved her_

_Did I try in every way to show her every day_

_That shes my only one_

_And if my time on earth were through_

_And she must face the world without me_

_Is the love I gave her in the past_

_Gonna be enough to last_

_If tomorrow never comes_

_cause Ive lost loved ones in my life_

_Who never knew how much I loved them_

_Now I live with the regret_

_That my true feelings for them never were revealed_

_So I made a promise to myself_

_To say each day how much she means to me_

_And avoid that circumstance_

_Where theres no second chance to tell her how I feel_

"That's your Daddy," she said shakily, caressing her stomach. "Listen closely, sweetie. He has a wonderful voice."

_If tomorrow never comes_

_Will she know how much I loved her_

_Did I try in every way to show her every day_

_That shes my only one_

_And if my time on earth were through_

_And she must face the world without me_

_Is the love I gave her in the past_

_Gonna be enough to last_

_If tomorrow never comes_

_cause Ive lost loved ones in my life_

_Who never knew how much I loved them_

_Now I live with the regret_

_That my true feelings for them never were revealed_

_So I made a promise to myself_

_To say each day how much she means to me_

_And avoid that circumstance_

_Where theres no second chance to tell her how I feel_

_So tell that someone that you love_

_Just what youre thinking of_

_If tomorrow never comes"_

Sara turned off the stereo after the song finished playing. She knew that there were more songs on the CD, but she just couldn't listen to them. Not yet. Her heart physically ached and sobs racked her body. She fell into an exhausted sleep, her palm flat against her abdomen.

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She awoke just before one that afternoon, a little hungry. She stretched in bed, rolling over and accidentally hitting the remote. Though she knew she would only cry more, she couldn't turn him off. No matter what, she just couldn't not listen to this song. His song. One of his songs for her.

_On the eighth day God noticed a problem_

_For there below him stood a cowboy alone_

_Stubborn and proud, reckless and loud_

_God knew hed never make it on his own_

_So God looked out all over creation_

_And listened as that cowboy prayed_

_God took passion and thunder_

_Patience and wonder then he sent down_

_The best thing that God ever made._

_Cowboys and angels leather and lace_

_Salt of the earth meets heavenly grace_

_Cowboys and angels tested and tried_

_Its a long way to heaven_

_And one hell of a ride._

_Nothins changed since the dawn of creation_

_For you will find them together today_

_And only heaven above them knows why_

_She loves him_

_But he must be the reason she dont fly away._

_Cowboys and angels leather and lace_

_Salt of the earth meets heavenly grace_

_Cowboys and angels tested and tried_

_Its a long way to heaven_

_And one hell of a ride._

_Its a long way to heaven_

_And one hell of a ride._

Sara smiled softly, rubbing her eyes, ridding herself of the tears that were falling. She couldn't help but laugh. She could only picture Nick having a hard time deciding whether or not to include this song. She always told him that he was her Cowboy. And she told him that not only was she his Sunshine, she was his Angel. And of course, the whole 'leather or lace?' conversation when they'd first met had probably played into his decision since the lyrics fit perfectly.

Once again, she turned off the radio. She stood up and looked at herself in the mirror. Deciding that she was presentable enough, she ran a hand through her slightly mused up hair as she made her way out of the room on the second floor, and down the stairs to the kitchen.

She pulled out a pasta salad from the fridge, which Jillian had left her a note about, knowing that she was a vegetarian. She ate the food with vigor, a satisified feeling came over her. She decided that she needed some fresh air and made her way through the back doors to the back part of the wrap-around deck. She wandered down the few stairs to the cement that surrounded the backyard pool. The water was glistening in the hot afternoon sun. The blue-green color of the liner was mesmerizing as she sat down on a lounge chair, kicking her legs up. Somehow, she could see Nick as a teenager, being the friendly guy that he was, having friends over for BBQs, and being the life of the party.

"Afternoon," Bill tipped his cowboy hat in her direction as he sat down on the lounge chair beside her.

She smiled at him. "Good afternoon."

"Feeling better?" he asked, giving her a sympathetic smile. When she looked at him curiously, he clarified. "I talked to Jillian before she left."

"Ah," she nodded. "Yeah, for now anyway."

"Have you eaten anything?" he asked. "I could fix you a sandwich or something. One of those Veggie bagels or something. They're actually real good. I'm a meat and potatos man myself, but one of those Veggie concoctions isn't so bad every once in a while."

Sara laughed lightly. Yep, Nick said the same thing.

"I just had some of the pasta salad that Jillian left in the fridge."

"She should be back soon," he said, glancing at his wrist watch. The two sat there in silence for a few minutes before he continued. "You know, Jillian and I were talking last night . . . Nick's life insurance policy and his savings account -- he had them signed over to us in case anything ever happened to him. Since we don't need the money, we were going to split it up amoung his nieces and nephews. Of course, we've already got trust funds set up for them," he said. He noticed Sara's eyes as wide as saucers. She was obviously shocked. He chuckled. "I take it Nick never told you?" She shook her head no. "That doesn't surprise me. It always made him a little uncomfortable. Besides, he was determined to make it on his own with no help from anyone. Aside from my being a Judge and his mother a DA, we own a couple of Oil Fields. Here on this property, actually. Bought it long before we even knew there was oil under all this," he stomped his foot on the pavement under his foot. "Anyway, Nicky hadn't even been born yet, but we'd made a nifty little profit. And since we already had a comfortable income with our jobs, we decided that we'd take most of the money and set up trust funds for the kids. Nick never dipped into his, though."

Sara sat in silence as Bill just allowed her to let everything sink in. When she found her voice, she said, "I'm not exactly sure why you're telling me all this."

"You're having Nick's baby," he answered as if it were the most logical thing in the world and she shouldn't even need to ask that. "Nick was a good man. And I know that even if this baby would've been a shock to him, he would've been thrilled. And he would've taken care of his family. You and the baby."

"Mr. Stokes, I -"

"It's Bill," he corrected her.

"Sorry," she smiled sheepishly, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "I know all that. But I didn't come here for money. I came here because I knew that Nick would want you and Jillian to know about the baby. And I know that Nick would've felt that you two deserved to hear the news in person, and not over the phone. That's why I came here. Not for money."

Bill smirked. "Ah, I see you're as stubborn as he was about money. Determined that you don't need anyones help."

"I don't," she told him. "I'm perfectly capable of raising this baby on my salary. I've been careful with my money, and I have a good sized savings account."

Jillian cleared her throat from the desk, announcing her presense. "I see you two started without me," she glanced at Sara, then fixed her stare on Bill disapprovingly.

"Sorry, Honey," he apologized. They had agreed to talk about this with Sara together, but he just couldn't wait.

"I appreciate what you're trying to do," Sara said, "but honestly, I can't accept any money. Even if it was Nick's."

"Sara," Jillian started calmly, sitting down on the lounge chair her husband occupied, "if Nick had known about the baby, there is no doubt in my mind he would've wanted you to have the money."

She closed her eyes, knowing that they were right. But accepting the money would be like accepting he was gone, and she just wasn't ready to do that. "Then set up a trust for the baby."

"Sara," Bill pressed, but stopped when he saw her getting upset.

"Please," she said. "I can't deny you giving his money to his child. But if you give it to me, I won't use it."

Jillian sighed, and nodded her head. "OK, obviously this isn't something that you're ready to deal with yet. So, how about we talk about something else?"

Sara wasn't entirely sure she was ready to discuss anything else. Between Nick's sweet, soulful voice serenading her, and his parents offering her his money, combined with the nausea, she was still exhausted despite her nap.

"We know that you aren't going back to work right away," Bill started. She looked up ready to protest, and he was sure she was going to relate it back to the money, so he continued. "That's fine. Really. But neither of us is particularly comfortable with you driving around aimlessly. And if you can't go back to Vegas yet . . . "

"We want you to stay with us," Jillian announced.

Sara sat in silence, looking at the two of them as if they'd lost their minds . . . .

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Grissom, Catherine, Warrick and Greg sat around the conference table going over some evidence in one of the biggest cases in Vegas that night.

" . . . so, what you're saying is that there are excellent reasons for each of the three suspects to have their prints on the murder weapon?" Greg asked, unsure that Grissom had actually just as much.

"Well, our vic was a very rich and powerful man," Catherine interjected. "He was notorious for going through hired help just like one changes their underwear. And those that do stick around are generally unable to leave because they are in this country illegally. Knowing that, and the fact that Mr. Dahlmer had a sweet tooth for blackmail, I'd say he held minimum wage ransom and paid the ones that couldn't quit far less than someone who is a legal resident."

"Which would give the maid motive," Warrick sighed, rubbing his eyes. "And being that she's a maid, that's plausible for how her fingerprints ended up on the knife."

"And Mr. Dahlmers son was pissed because he knew his father was cheating on his mother. And living the house gave him all the time in the world to commit a murder, and give plausible reason for his prints on the knife."

"And Mr. Curtis - his wife Maria, Mr. Dahlmer's secretary - finds out that his wife was steppin' out on him while in attendence of the party," Warrick leans back in his chair.

"Mr. Dahlmer was murdered in his own kitchen, during his party. A house full of guests, yet no one hears a thing. One murder weapon, three sets of justifiable prints . . . "

Catherine glances up and notices Brass standing in the doorway, looking troubled. "Hey, Jim. What's going on?"

He offered them a half smile. "Hey, guys."

Everyone greets him, curious to know what's got him in such a down mood.

He holds up a clear plastic freezer bag. "I doubt this'll do any good, but a civilian dropped it off at PD a little while ago. Says she found it on the street. Elderly lady. Sweet as Apple Pie. I doubt she has anything to hide. But I bagged it anyway. After going through it."

Grissom took the bag from Jim's hand. "What is it?"

Warrick leaned forward, his elbows resting on the table. "Nick's wallet."

"Cash and credit cards are gone," Jim said, taking a seat next to Catherine.

"We canceled them pretty much right away," Warrick said. "The credit card companies would've notified someone if someone tried to use them."

"Maybe Identity theft?" Catherine suggested as a reason to steal a credit card but not use it. After all, all one needs is one important number to steal someone elses identity.

Grissom nodded his head in agreement. "It's possible. I can only imagine how many prints are on it besides Nick's, now."

"Looks like it's been in the elements for a while too," Greg noticed the once black leather was now faded and cracked, obviously from the heat of the Nevada sun.

"I did see something in there though that surprised me," Jim looked at all of the CSIs, Grissom last. He nodded to the bag. "Go ahead."

Grissom snapped on a pair of rubber gloves that he had in his lab pocket. After slipping the latex over his digits, he removed the wallet. He opened the flap and what he saw staring back at him left his mouth hanging open.

"What is it?" Greg asked.

"One of those strips of pictures from the photo booths at the mall," Grissom mumbled. He pulled the folded strip out and carefully examined each picture. He then passed it over to Catherine, who gave it to Warrick, who gave it to Greg.

While two pictures seemed to be pretty standard for photo booth pictures, it was the last two that held everyones attentions. In the third picture, second to last on the strip, Sara sat on Nick's lap, kissing him on the lips innocently. In the fourth picture, the last one, things had obviously gone from innocent to passionate very, VERY quickly.

"I guess they really _did_ make a cute couple," Catherine said, pinching the bridge of her nose. She sighed. "Poor Sara. No wonder she reacted the way that she has."

"There's something else," Brass sighed, rolling his neck to the side, letting the muscles pop in relief. When he noted all four CSIs attention on him, he said the one thing that none of them expected him to say. "Kelly Gordon was released on Early parole this afternoon."

TBC . . . .

Songs: Garth Brooks "If Tomorrow Never Comes" and "Cowboys and Angels" -- no copyright infridgement intended.

Note: I know that I've made it seem like the CSIs were blind and/or stupid for not realizing that Nick and Sara were together. But they were hiding it and being that they are CSIs, too, they know how to hide things . . . I wanted to give the team a one-two punch with stunning revelations, and this is the only way I could make it work for what I have planned with this story.

PLEASE READ AND REVIEW:)


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks for the reviews. I love 'em:)

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"She's been what?" Greg blinked, looking at Brass like he hadn't heard him correctly.

He nodded his head. "The DA granted her the chance at Parole because she was the only one to talk after a beating nearly turned deadly. He thought it would be a good gesture and might actually encourage the other cell mates to speak up if there is another attack. So, she went in front of the board, put on her little doe eyed face, they fell for it, and now she's out."

"Did they not take into consideration how unhelpful she was when we were looking for Nick?" Warrick slammed his fist down on the table.

Grissom pinched the bridge of his nose. "What're the terms of her release?"

"Not much," Jim said without emotion. "She has to check in with her parole officer once a week for the first year. Then twice a month for the following two years."

"Three years probation?" Greg asked, frustrated. "If she had just told us where Nick was, we'd have found him in time!"

Brass nodded his head, understanding what the CSIs were feeling. At one point, he'd been a CSI and he'd worked with Nick. He knew full well the kind of decent man he was, and was still reeling from his loss, just like everyone else.

"The girl needs to be locked away for the rest of her miserable life," Catherine seethed. At times, she felt like some people could be redeemed. But Kelly Gordon was not one of them.

"She will be," Grissom nodded. "It's just a matter of time before she does something stupid. We'll catch her, too."

Catherine's beeper went off. She glanced down at the screen. "It's Hodges," she announced. "He identified the trace on the knife."

Warrick stood up and wordlessly followed Catherine out of the room, hoping that the case they working on would be enough to distract him.

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"You want me to what?" she blinked.

"Stay with us," Jillian smiled. When the shocked look didn't leave Sara's face, she smirked. "You know, here. You can stay in Nick's room. Hang around the ranch. We really want to get to know you."

"The kids will as well," Bill nodded at Jillian. He turned to Sara. "I'm sure Nick's sisters will love you."

"I think they will too," Jillian touched Sara's leg reassuringly.

She swallowed hard. "Uh, I don't know," she said pensively. After finding out for sure that she was pregnant and deciding that she had to tell Nick's parents in person about the baby, she hadn't even thought about his siblings. While she knew they existed, meeting them and being around them for an extended period of time never crossed her mind.

"Why?" Bill asked. He knew that she didn't really have a reason because they'd caught her off gaurd. But even if she had been expecting them to ask her, he couldn't think of a single reason why.

"I don't want to put you out. Besides, I need to figure out what I'm going to do."

"I thought you already knew?" Jillian asked, her eyebrows furrowed together.

"I mean about the rest of my life," she answered. "Vegas isn't necessarily the best place to raise a child. Especially in a single parent home. And I'm not sure when it'll feel like home again. If it ever will. If I'll be able to turn the corner and not see Nick at a crime scene, or Nick at the movies. There are memories everywhere. I think I might have to create a life for myself and this baby somewhere else. Or I'll just feel trapped."

"What were you thinking about doing?" Bill asked her.

"Checking out some other labs," she shrugged. "A few years back, I had submitted a request for a leave of absense because I wanted to check out the FBI."

"That's very ambitious," Jillian smiled. "I really respect a woman who knows what she wants. But as a career woman, I have to say -- it can be really difficult when you're doing that and raising a family. I had Bill, and older kids to help out with chores around the house and watching Nick and the younger kids. It'd just be you and the baby. Maybe a nanny. And I have no doubt that the FBI would be lucky to have you, but it'd take you away from the baby so much."

Sara sighed and fought the tears that threatened to fall. Only this time, the tears weren't all about Nick. It was about the fact that she was going to be a single parent, and Jillian was making perfect sense. And because of that, she was ready to fall apart.

"What about seeing if the Dallas department needs another CSI? We could put in a good word for you, and Nicky used to work with the Dallas PD, so I'm sure they'd love to have you," Jillian suggested.

Sara shook her head. "I need to do this on my own. I've always gotten where I needed to go on my own. It's important that I knock open those doors for myself."

Bill nodded his head. "I don't want to upset you, Sara, but if you were to get hired at another lab or the FBI, they would have to contact the lab in Vegas. They'd find out why you were put on LOA, and why. They might start asking all sorts of questions. What if they feel that Mr. Grissom's decision was justified?"

Sara looked down at her hands that were ballwed into tight fists. She released them, the pressure and tension immediately leaving her arms. She remained quiet.

"All of know that your Leave of Absense won't last forever," he continued. "But for the time being, he put you on it to deal with Nick's passing." He saw a few stray tears fall down her cheeks and she quickly looked back down into her lap. "So, until you can sort of move past that, I can't see you being able to find work anywhere else. At least, not in the same field."

Jillian glanced at Bill and gave him a sideways glare. She knew he meant well, though. She reached forward and took Sara's hand in hers. She stroked the smooth skin comfortingly. "You know what I think?" Sara glanced up and met her eyes. "I think you aren't ready to deal with everything yet. It all happened at once. Nicky's not here anymore, and now there is a baby. It's a lot to take in. And I think you're overwhelmed. You're throwing yourself into something that you can control - like work. But once that's all settled, you're going to have this ball of emotions to deal with. And you'll be farther along into your pregnancy, if not already had the baby. Things are going to get a lot harder, Sara. But that's OK. Everyone grieves in their own time. Lord knows Bill and I are grieving differently. I know that we are his parents, so because of that, we'll never truly feel whole again without him. But, I know that Nick would want you to be happy. And if you can't do that for yourself, he'd want you to try for your babys sake. And being able to move past it seems impossible now, but in time, it'll happen. And when that does, it won't mean that you didn't love him. It'll mean that he was a great chapter in your life. And even though it ended to soon, it won't be something that you'll ever regret. And you'll never be able to forget him. You'll wake up in the morning and look into your babys eyes and you'll see him. The love that you had. That you'll always have. It'll never go away Sara."

The floodgates opened and a river of tears fell. She sobbed and Jillian wrapped her arms around Sara. "I can't do this without him," she cried.

Jillian kissed the side of Sara's head and smoothed down her hair. She rocked the young woman as if she were a small child. "Yes you can. You're strong. Nicky might not be here physically, but he's in your heart. And he's in your baby. He'll never really be gone."

Sara nodded her head, swallowing against the lump in the back of her throat. She fought hard to take a deep breathe. When she'd calmed down a little, she pulled away from Jillian's embrace and rubbed her face with her hands. She groaned, forcing a laugh. "Hormones."

"So, will you stay?" Bill asked. "Even if only for a little while?"

Sara looked into both sets of eyes watching her closely. She started to choke up again. Two people that she barely knew were welcoming her into their lives and home all because of Nick. She had never know she generosity. How could she say no? "I'll stay for a while," she smiled.

Jillian beamed at Sara and embraced her quickly.

"I'll call the family," Bill said, standing up. He smiled at Sara and she froze.

"Wait!" she panicked, pulling out of the embrace.

"What's wrong?" he asked, turning to look back at her.

"It's just . . . " she picked at her nails, "I, uh, don't think I can meet everyone at once. It's a little overwhelming, you know," she said hesitantly.

Jillian smiled, "They don't bite."

Sara smiled at her. "I'm sure they don't. Nick always had good things to say about them. It's just . . . I didn't have a large family."

Jillian smiled at her. "Tell you what. We'll introduce them to you slowly. Lord knows that introducing their husbands to the family was a little overwhelming!" Jillian smiled and Bill chuckled.

"I guess we're just so used to it that we don't think about how big our family is," Bill said.

"How 'bout this," Jillian started, "three of our daughters are stay at home moms. What if I called them tonight and asked them to come over tomorrow morning? Our other three daughters who work could come over in the evening . . .?"

Sara smiled at them, grateful that they understood where she was coming from.

"That sounds good," she agreed.

Jillian smiled and stood up, walking up next to Bill. "Did you want me to bring you a drink?"

"No, that's OK," Sara smiled. "I think I'm just going to stay out here for a little while, though."

Jillian nodded her head and turned to walk inside, but stopped when she heard her husbands voice. "So did you ever check out the FBI?" Sara smiled, and shook her head no. "Why not?"

Her smile got a little bigger. Catherine had been the one to talk Grissom into sending her the plant at the Lab, so naturally, Cath assumed that's why she never left. But that wasn't it. "Nick." A thought suddenly crossed her mind. "Where's Sparky? I haven't seen him around."

"He was moping around here," Bill answered. "We decided to send him to Nicole's house. She lives on the other side of the ranch. She's got a couple of young kids, so we figured the attention wouldn't hurt him."

Sara smiled, "I'd like to see him, if it's OK."

Jillian smiled. "I think he'd like that. I'll have Nicole bring him by when she comes tomorrow."

"Thank you," Sara smiled. She watched as Jillian nodded her head and she and Bill finally made their way into the house.

_Flashback_

_"Who is it?" Sara called out, standing behind her apartment door. One hand was firmly gripping the baseball bat, while the other hand braced against the door as she leaned up and peered out the peep hole. _

_"It's Nick," he called back, turning his head so that she could see it was him, although he was slightly distorted._

_  
"Nick?" she questioned, unlatching the door and opening it up to him in the hallway. _

_  
"I thought we'd already established that," he smirked, then chuckled when she reached out and swatted at him._

_"I mean, what're you doing here?" she asked._

_He looked her up and down and smiled. "Cute."_

_She rolled her eyes, and propped one hand on her hip, raising an eyebrow. "Something tells me that you didn't come here to check out what I wear to bed."_

_"No," he smiled, "that's just a bonus." She rolled her eyes, but couldn't help but blush._

_"Hair's cute, too," he touched her locks which had been thrown up high a top her head in a loose, messy bun. He stepped into the apartment, and walked in._

_"Gee, Nick," she smirked, "why don't you come on in and make yourself at home?"_

_He tried not to smile. "Why thank you, Sara. Don't mind if I do."_

_She closed the door, locking the dead bolt before grabbing a white terry cloth robe from the back of the couch. Her linens had just come out of the dryer before she'd heard the knock at the door and hadn't had time to stash them._

_"Now why would you want to cover up?" he drawled._

_  
She pulled the rube tighter around herself, yanking on the belt. "Because," was her answer and she stuck out her tongue at him, giggling. Her pajamas weren't exactly revealing, but she didn't feel completely comfortable in them in front of Nick -- especially since she wasn't wearing her bra. A pair of loose fitting, cotton draw string pants that were light pink in color and had small white pin stripes. Her top was simply a white tank top._

_"Next time," he walked into her kitchen, opening the fridge and scanning the contents, "we'll have a pajama party."_

_"Oh we will, will we?" she challenged him, taking a seat a stool at the breakfast bar._

_"Oh yeah," he nodded his head. "We'll do what all girls do when they have slumber parties." He thought about his choice of words. "Not that I'm a girl."_

_Sara laughed. "Oh, you're definitely not a girl. Any woman can see that," she licked her lips subconciously, eyeing his form up and down appreciatively like he'd done to her when he walked in. "Out of curiousity, what exactly is it that you think girls do when they have aforementioned parties?"_

_He decided on two bottles of beer, setting them down on the counter and then shutting the door of the fridge. He twisted off the caps on both beers easily, then handed one to Sara. "Oh, you know," he answered nonchalantly, "gossiping, pigging out -"_

_"Which you already do," she smirked. "You and Warrick have quite the enlightening conversations, and I don't think I've seen you go one full day without eating one of those burritos."_

_He ignored her. "And of course, having pillow fights in our underwear."_

_She couldn't help but laugh. But she stopped laughing when she noticed his eyes land on a piece of paper sitting on the counter, underneath a stack of Italian take out menu's. She hadn't been hiding it, but the large, black print that was popping off the corner of the page was hard to miss. FBI. She heard him sigh._

_"So, it's true?" he asked, picking up the paper and turning it around so that she could see what he was looking at. When she averted her eyes, he had his answer. "Sara, you can't go."_

_"Why?" she snapped. "Because the lab needs me?"_

_Nick looked shocked at first, by her sudden outburst, but it was replaced with a knowing look. "That's what Grissom said, huh?"_

_"Yep," she sighed deeply. "Would it kill the man to say what he means, on a personal level, just once?"_

_Nick put the paper down and rubbed a hand through his dark hair. "The lab does need you, Sara. But more than that, the rest of the team needs you. You're irreplaceable. And on a more selfish note, you're one of my best friends. Sure Warrick is a good friend and all, but sometimes, I just need to talk to you. Sometimes you know what to say, or not to say. What to do or not to do . . . what will I do if you're not around?"_

_"I just don't know if I made the right decision by coming here," she admitted. "I turned my life upside down for a chance to work with Grissom, and all I've gotten are mixed messages."_

_He sighed heavily. "I'm not going to tell you that your reasons for coming here were wrong. Maybe they were, maybe they weren't. But you're here now. And even though Gris is a pain in the ass sometimes, he cares about you."_

_She rolled her eyes. A move that did not go unnoticed._

_"Hey," he demanded her to look in his eyes. "We all care about you, Sara. If you leave now, you'll be quitting because it got a little tough. And you are not a quitter." She remained silent. "Sometimes we make decisions for the wrong reasons. Maybe you're moving here for Grissom was wrong. But if you look hard enough, you might just find the right reason to stay."_

_She offered him a soft smile, and she leaned in to give him a soft kiss on the cheek. She knew that she didn't need to thank him verbally. The kiss on his cheek and the smile she offered him were more than enough. _

_  
The next thing she knew, he'd settled himself beside her on the couch, and casually drapped an arm across her shoulders, pulling her close to him in a reclining position against his shoulder. His other hand settled his beer on the coaster beside him on the side table and then grabbed the remote, flipping on the TV and looking for something decent to watch._

_In that moment, Sara realized that even if she had come to Vegas for Grissom, she had a lot more reasons to stick around. And maybe, just maybe, the biggest one of all was sitting beside her._

_end flashback_

Sara could help but smile at the memory.

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"Hey, Kelly. Have a seat," Sylvia smiled at the young woman.

"Thanks for seeing me," she answered. "I know you said we didn't have to do this in person . . . ."

"No," Sylvia waved it off, "I'm really glad you came. Kelly, your father loved you very much."

Her eyes became cloudy and dark. "A little too much. I just wanted to talk about his Estate. Is what he did going to effect it?"

"Well, it's kind of complicated . . . ."

TBC . . . .


	9. Chapter 9

Thanks for the reviews. Sorry it took so long for this to be posted. It's been a crazy busy week, and it will stay busy for me for the next while. I'll try and update as often as I can.

I disclaim . . . .

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She looked at herself in the mirror, noticing the bags under her eyes. Although she'd woken up only a few hours ago, she hadn't slept much the night before. She kept thinking about meeting his family. She was a nervous wreck and couldn't stop thinking about it. So, rather than just close her eyes and count sheep, she turned on his CD and listened to the songs his sweet voice sung to her. It was calming in a way, but she had silently let the tears fall.

She turned to look at her profile in the mirror and noticed that her abdomin had a slight swell. No one else would've noticed, but she knew. A smile tugged on her lips as she lifted up her shirt, exposing her skin. Her fingers skimmed her stomach, caressing her flesh. She looked at a picture of Nick that was sitting on the dresser -- it was a picture that his mother had put there especially for Sara. It was his official Dallas PD photo. Though it was an older picture, his smile beemed back at her. "It's our baby," she said, tears pooling again in her eyes as her free hand reached out and touched the contours of his face in the photo. "I wish you were here," she let her hand drop from her stomach as she spoke to the photo, picking up the frame and wandering over to the neatly made bed. "I miss you so much, Nick."

It was then that something really odd happened. If Sara hadn't been sitting there when it happened, if someone had said that something like this had happened to them, she wouldn't have believed it. But it was happening. The CD player had suddenly turned on and started playing Nick's CD -- only, it wasn't playing the first song on the CD. It was playing one in the middle. Yet another Garth Brooks song . . .

_When the rain is blowing in your face_

_And the whole world is on your case_

_I would offer you a warm embrace_

_To make you feel my love_

_When the evening shadows and the stars appear_

_And there is no one to dry your tears_

_I could hold you for a million years_

_To make you feel my love_

_I know you haven't made your mind up yet_

_But I would never do you wrong_

_I've known it from the moment that we met_

_There's no doubt in my mind where you belong_

_I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue_

_I'd go crawling down the avenue_

_There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do_

_To make you feel my love_

_The storms are raging on the rollin' sea_

_Down the highway of regret_

_The winds of change are blowing wild and free_

_But you ain't seen nothing like me yet_

_There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do_

_Go to the ends of the earth for you_

_Make you happy, make your dreams come true_

_To make you feel my love_

There was a quiet knock at the door. "Sara?"

"Yes?" she called, standing up from the bed, and walking back to the dresser, Nick's picture in her hand. She used the back of her hand to wipe the tears away from her eyes.

Jillian poked her head inside the room and smiled softly. "Nicole is coming up the driveway. She came a little early with her kids and Sparky."

Sara's eyes shone brightly and Jillian recognized her smile as one that finally reached her eyes.

"Thanks," she answered. "I'll be down in just a sec."

She smiled at Sara. "OK."

Once the door had firmly clicked back in place, she turned around and stared at the CD player, which had now turned itself off. She chuckled slightly, half wondering if she'd just imagined that happening, but knowing she didn't.

She glanced around the room, feeling as though Nick's spirit were with her. Her hand touched the door knob and she turned it gently. "I love you," she whispered into his bedroom. Upon hearing the front door open, she sighed a little, smiling.

She quietly closed the door behind her and walked silently down the hallway, peering over the railing and into the foyer on the first floor of the home. She could see Nicole with her children, taking off their shoes. She could see Sparky wandering into the house pensively, and laying down beside the closet. She smiled a little at the dog, who hadn't seen her yet. Part of her was sad that Sparky was sad -- but the other part of her was jumping inside with anticipation.

Nicole could feel someones eyes on her and looked up. She saw Sara standing there and smiled slightly. "Hello."

"Hi," Sara greeted, a little embarrassed that she'd been caught. She hadn't meant to not say anything, but she was caught up in the dog. God, how she'd missed that dog. It was just one more link to Nick that had suddenly been taken from her.

Sparky's ears perked up at the sound of her voice and he looked up at Sara, his eyes immediately shining He leapt up from his place by the closet, and ran quickly up the stairs, wagging his tail furiously, making almost a doggie singing noise in greeting. He barked happily once he was at the top of the stairs and Sara laughed happily as she scratched him behind his ears. The dog sighed in contentment as he allowed Sara to scratch him, he licking her wrists.

"I've missed you too, Buddy," Sara smiled, her eyes misting over.

Jillian and Nicole stood there silently, smiling at the life that Sparky seemed to suddenly be energized with.

Nicole's two kids looked on in awe.

"How'd you do that?" the little boy asked as Sara stood up and started to walk down the stairs, Sparky closely following behind. When they reached the bottom of the stairs, he walked up to them, patting the dogs soft fur.

"I've known Sparky since he was a little puppy," Sara answered, smiling down at the little boy, who shared the same brown eyes as Nick. She couldn't help but wonder if she had a son, would he have Nick's eyes? "We go way back, don't we buddy?" she sratched his ears again, and he leaned his head into her touch, resting his head against her leg. He barked in answer.

The kids giggled.

"I'm Nicole," the blond woman smiled, holding her hand out for Sara.

Sara extended her own hand and when they shook hands, she immediately relaxed. "Sara. It's nice to meet you."

"Like wise," she looked down at her children who were playing with a now happy Sparky. "This is my son Noah. He's three. And this little Angel," she picked up her daughter quickly, her innocent giggles becoming a loud shriek as her mother picked her up suddenly, "is Elizabeth. She's a year and a half."

Sara smiled down at the little girl who had her mothers blond hair.

"Hi," the little girl giggled as her mother tickled her stomach.

"Hi," Sara smiled back. "That's a very pretty name, Elizabeth."

"Meh," she shrugged. "It's otay."

Nicole rolled her eyes and tried to hide her smirk and Jillian chuckled. Sara stood there shocked, not knowing what to say.

"Sorry," Nicole apologized. "That would be Jason's influence. He's the oldest. The little rat is at swimming practice. He's seven."

Sara laughed a little.

"Owder brodder is da best," her eyes shone brightly at Sara as her mother set her down on her feet.

"I had an older brother too," she smiled.

The little girl launched herself at Sara's leg and clung to her for a second before letting go and running off to play with Sparky and Noah

"So what brings you to Texas?" Nicole asked as she and Jillian led the way to the kitchen. Sara followed behind them and as Sparky saw her retreating from the room, he stood up and followed, the kids following him.

Sara glanced at Jillian who subtley shook her head, telling Sara that she hadn't told Nick's sisters.

"Why don't we wait for Maddy and Gabby?" Jillian suggested, pulling out some snacks from the cupboard for her grandkids.

Nicole glanced between the two and nodded her head. "Alright."

The three sat at the kitchen table and talked for a while until Maddy and Gabby arrived with their kids.

Maddy and her husband Lucas had three kids. Daniel, eight; Natalie, five; and Zachary, four.

Gabby and her husband William, had three kids as well. David, six; and twin, fraternal daughters, Rosalind and Isabel, three.

Around lunch time, the five women and the kids went outside.

"I can't wait until Zack goes to school," Maddy said. "A couple more months and I'll have the mornings too myself!"

Everyone laughed.

Nicole and Gabby agreed that that would be a dream come true when their little rug rats were all in Elementary school and they could have just a few hours in the morning to themselves, then the following year, an entire school day -- plus the travel time to and from school on the bus.

Being that summer vacation had just started, all the kids were excited at not needing to attend school for a few months.

Sara looked down at one of the twins who was tugging on her shirt gently to get her attention.

"Isabel!" Gabby chastised. "That is not nice."

"Sowwy," she looked down at the ground, upset that her mother was disappointed in her.

"It's OK," Sara smiled. "What would like, sweetie?" The little girl lifted her arms up to Sara in a silent request to be picked up. "Better?"

The little girl nodded and batted her blue eyes at Sara. "I wike wou."

"Thank you," Sara smiled down at the little girl. "I like you too."

Embarrassed, she shoved a thumb into her mouth.

"Izzy!" her mother scolded for a second time, and the little girl gropped her thumb from her mouth.

"Sowwy," she said again. But her eyes lit up with Rosalind ran towards them, stopping short at running straight into Sara's legs.

"Come pway!" she said to her sister, grabbing Izzy's hand. Sara helped her down off her lap and the two ran off towards the sand box and trampoline.

"So . . . " Nicole hedged, glancing at her sisters then to her mother and finally on Sara. "What brings you to Texas?"

Jillian watched Sara for a moment, and smiled at her encouragingly.

"Sorry," Nicole appologized. "I don't mean to be blunt."

Sara smirked. "No, that's alright. I'm apparently pretty blunt too. At least, most of the time."

Nicole smirked. "No wonder we get along so well. I seem to irritate everyone when I just come out and ask something. Everyone tells me to use a little tact."

Sara laughed. "Funny, I've been told that a few times myself."

"I'm curious too," Maddy said and Gabby nodded her head.

"Mom told us that Nicky's girlfriend was here," Gabby said, "and that she wanted us to meet you. I'd say it's pretty safe to say that we were all pretty shocked. None of us knew that Nicky had a girlfriend."

Sara smiled. "We didn't tell anyone. At least, I didn't. But Nick told your Dad."

"What?" Maddy questioned, glancing at her mother. She held up her hands.

"I didn't know either," Jillian said.

"It's a long story, but I came here because I know that Nick would've wanted me too. We, uh, dated for a little less than a year," Sara started. "And I think things were getting pretty serious. You're brother was the best thing that ever happened to me. I loved him with everything that I have. With everything that I am. I still do. I'll never stop."

The three girls smiled at her. They could see it in her eyes. If Nicky were still there, they'd tell him that she was it. 'The One.'

"Uh, Nick didn't know. I didn't know, actually. Not until about a week ago, anyway. I'm pregnant."

The three girls smiles seemed to disappear for a moment before they all returned brightly and they rushed forward and enveloped Sara in a big, group hug, shocking her.

Jillian stood back and watched the scene unfolding, taking a picture with the digital camera that was sitting beside her. With having young grandchildren around, she'd gotten used to keeping a camera near by for moments that she'd like to remember. And this was definitely one of them.

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"Hey," Brass greeted as he walked into the break room. He and Grissom had just gotten finished interrogating a suspect and he was in desperate need of coffee.

Warrick nodded his head, glancing down at his laptop.

"Big case?" Jim asked.

Warrick shook his head. "No. Gris keeps telling us to be patient, ya know?" The irritation was evident in the mans voice. "But I have this nagging feeling . . ."

"About Kelly Gordon?" he asked, an eye brow raised.

"Yeah," he sighed, pushing back his chair and getting a refill of his own coffee.

"Found anything probative?"

"Depends," he shrugged. "It's probably nothing though."

"What is it?"

"I did some digging that I really shouldn't have," he said, looking at Brass to make sure he understood. "What I tell you, is strictly off the record and between friends, alright?"

Brass knew that this was Warrick's way of telling him that the digging he'd done wasn't exactly . . . legal. He nodded in confirmation, reaching for his badge and placing it on the table top. "No cops are here," he answered.

Warrick smirked. "So, Kelly Gordon was the Trustee of her Fathers Estate prior to her conviction. After she was sent to the prison, he changed his Will, making Sylvia Mullins his trustee."

"And . . . ?"

"Prior to his death, every cent of his money was accounted for," Warrick sat back down. "Money is leaving his accounts."

"That's to be expected," Brass answered. "House taxes, electric bills . . . just because a person dies doesn't mean that they no longer have to pay certain fees."

"I know that," Warrick answered, turning his laptop around and pushing it towards Brass. "But can you explain why there is close to three hundred thousand dollars suddenly unaccounted for?"

"Who has access?"

"Just Ms. Mullins," he answered.

"Fraud, I suppose," Brass said. "But this isn't information that we are supposed to have."

"And I got this information on the down low," Warrick sighed. "And without probable cause, there is no way of legally obtaining it."

"Our hands are tied until someone comes to the cops to report anything."

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The entire Stokes clan had been more than thrilled with the news of the impending arrival and had opened their arms, with no questions asked, to Sara. They were welcoming her into their family readily. And while she couldn't have been happier, it was bitter sweet without Nick sitting beside her whispering, "I told you they'd love you" in her ear.

She'd met Nicole, Maddy and Gabby's husbands - Jacob, Lucas, and William, as well as the older kids that she hadn't met during the day. And then met the rest of Nick's siblings, their spouses and their children.

Rebecca was married to Mark, and they have four kids. Ten year old Faith, Victoria, nine, and another set of twins, a girl and boy, Penelope and Christopher, eight.

Charlotte was Nick's oldest sister, and her husband was Mark. They also had three kids. Hannah, fourteen, Adam, thirteen and Joesph, twelve.

Tom, Nick's only brother, and his wife Ella, also had three kids. Jeffrey, nineteen, Scott, fifteen, and Adrienne, fourteen.

Sara watched them all file out of the house and towards their cars with a smile on her face.

"So, did we overwhelm you?" Bill asked as he walked up to where she was standing, leaning up against the front door.

She smiled, "Yeah. A little. But it's a good overwhelmed, you know?"

Bill smiled.

"I watched you all tonight," she said softly. "How much you love each other. I saw the little disagreements and the bickering, but if push comes to shove, I can see that you'd all be there for each other."

"You too," he quickly including, receiving a smile. "You're family now, Sara."

She didn't quite know what to say. "I didn't grow up with a close family. Actually, at times I wondered if I'd ever know what it was, never mind experience it. When I first moved to Vegas, Nick would tell me about his big, crazy family. And I always wondered if he was exaggerating about how wonderful you all are. Tonight, I found out that he was telling the truth."

Bill smiled back at her. "Well, we are a big, crazy family."

Jillian made her way back up to the house after seeing the last of her children off. Each of her six remaining children had built homes on the ranch, which sprawled an impressive four thousand acres of lush, green land. "Would you like another piece of Strawberry pie, Sara?"

"Sounds like heaven," she smiled, "but I don't think I can eat any more."

"I'll make sure to save some for you for tomorrow," she smiled.

"Thanks," she breathed deeply, enjoying the cooler breeze of the evening air. It had been a humid day. Definitely not the type of heat she was used to in Vegas. It had been a long, and draining day. "I think I'm going to turn in."

"Alright," Bill smiled. He leaned over and placed a kiss on her cheek. "Good night."

"Good night," she smiled as he retreated into his study at the end of the hall.

"You feeling alright?" Jillian asked her, suddenly noticing that she was a little pale.

"Fine," she assured her. "I'm just a little tired."

"It's understandable," she said, guiding Sara towards the base of the stairs. "I'm going to clean up in the kitchen. Probably head off to bed shortly there after." She leaned in and hugged Sara. "Sleep well, dear."

"You too," Sara returned the hug.

The two women smiled at each other briefly before Jillian turned towards the kitchen to clean up what hadn't been taken care of, and Sara turned to head upstairs.

"Whoa boy," Sara whispered, stopping dead in her tracks about three quarters of the way up the stairs, one hand clutching the railing, the other coming up to her head which felt like it was spinning around as if it were the Tilt-A-Whirl ride.

As she moved to take another step, she felt her body flush with heat, and an overwhelming wave of nausea wash over her.

She lost her balance, and tumbled down the stairs with a sickening thud.

"Oh my!" Jillian shrieked, running out of the kitchen as she saw Sara's body come to a rest at the bottom of the stairs. "BILL!" she yelled.

Racing over to Sara, she whispered to the woman who was clutching her stomach, whimpering in pain. "Just hold still."

When Bill emerged from his Study, he saw Sara on the ground and grabbed the cordless, calling for an ambulance. "They'll be here soon," he told them.

"Oh, God," Sara whimpered in pain. She tried not to move, but with every cramp, her body jerked in spasm.

"Try and hold still," Jillian said, leaning over the woman and gently cupping her face in her hands. They held eye contact and Sara started to cry.

"What happened?" Bill asked.

Jillian looked her husband in the eye. "She fell down the stairs," Jillian answered. "I heard it, but I only saw as she landed down here."

Sara's arm went to her stomach as she pressed her palm flat against her skin, "hold on Baby. Please, hold on."

The husband and wife looked at each other, terrified that the woman before them was going miscarrying their sons child.

"I can't loose you too," she cried. "Please . . . ."

TBC . . . .


	10. Chapter 10

Thanks for the reviews! I love it so much. All I can say is that if you have questions about certain elements of the story, keep reading. I have some stuff planned to do, and there is a reason for certain plots, though it may not seem like it right now . . . things will be come clearer, though . . .

I disclaim . . . .

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Sara lay in the hospital bed, her eyes wide open in fear. She couldn't speak. She couldn't look at either of Nick's parents, who were holding vigil on either side of her. All she could do was look straight ahead at the stark white walls which were not comforting in the least.

"I'm sure everything is fine," Jillian said quietly as she reached up and tucked a piece of Sara's hair behind her ear. "They just need to run a few tests, and then we'll all get out of here. You and the baby will be as good as new."

Sara's jaw was rigid as she fought the tears, desperate to keep them back. The only thing she was trying to concentrate on was grinding her teeth.

She wanted - no, she needed - to block everything else out. The EMTs had told her that she was spotting, and that it was best for her and the baby if she tried to relax. Much easier said than done.

Once they'd arrived at the hospital, her nerves were frayed and she was barely holding it together. She tried to take the advice of the EMT and relax, but what was left of her world was dangerously close to being ripped away from her. A fact that she was reminded of every time she experienced a cramp.

Though they were become farther apart, and not as intense, she couldn't help but think the worst.

Bill watched on silence, his hand absently grasping at Sara's. He really was scared that his grandchild would not be given a chance, and that the elation he and the rest of his family felt that a part of Nick would live on would be ripped away from them. And that there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. He looked into Sara's eyes, and saw that she was fragile, wondering if she was going to break. He could see the fear and terror behind her orbs and wondered how she'd be able to cope with the devasting loss of her child if it came to that.

In the private room, the three just waited. The only noises beind made were the shallow breathes of all the occupants and the ticking of the clock mounted on the wall. It was normally a noise that was quiet, but in the eerily quiet room, it was as loud as a ticking bomb. And just served as a reminder that the were still waiting. And though they hadn't been waiting long, it seemed like forever.

"Can one of you go see what's taking so long?" Sara asked timidly.

Bill nodded his head and silently rose from the stool beside the bed. He dropped Sara's hand and placed a kiss on her forehead trying to give her some fatherly love, and reassure her that every thing would be fine.

"Thank you," she managed weakly, her voice cracking with emotion. She looked away.

Bill glanced at his wife, heaving a silent sigh as he turned and walked out the door to find out what was taking so long . . .

"You know, when I was pregnant with Becky," Jillian started, "I fell in the garden. But everything was fine."

She wiped furiously at the tears betraying her as they slipped down her cheek. "Did you cramp? Or bleed?" she asked.

Jillian shook her head no. "But I did cramp when I was pregnant with Nicole. And I did have some spotting through out my pregnancy with Nicky." She wiped away a tear from Sara's cheek. "And they all turned out just fine."

"But I fell down a flight of stairs," she looked down at her hands that were now resting on her stomach where her child was . . . "and I'm cramping and bleeding because of it." She bite her lip, but it quivered and she choked out, "It's my fault this is happening."

Jillian stood up from her chair and sat on the edge of the bed, removing Sara's hands that were now covering her face. She was too weak and filled with emotions to struggle against Jillian. The older woman cupped her chin, making Sara meet her eyes. "Don't say that. It's not true. What happened was an accident Sara. You can't blame yourself for this."

"How can you even look at me?" she asked, the tears continuing to build and pour down her face faster. She tried to calm herself, but her breathing became more ragged with each passing moment. "Nick is gone and his baby might be now too."

"You can't think like that," she told Sara gently.

"Nick would've kept the baby safe," she said as if she didn't hear Jillian's words. "It's something I obviously can't do myself. And now . . . " she couldn't finish her sentence. "I've disappointed him." She burried her face in her hands and let the emotions pour out of her. "God, I never wanted to disappoint him."

"You haven't," Jillian's voice had a stern, motherly quality to it. "Sara, you fell. It was an accident. It was bad timing that you were on the stairs, but even Nick couldn't have prevented it. He wouldn't blame you, nor would he want you to get worked up over it. The baby could be completely fine."

Sara looked at Jillian for a moment, completely silent, except for the sounds of her irratic breathing. Slowly, she nodded her head. "Deep down, I know that," she acknowledged, "but . . ."

"No buts," she shook her head. "Think positively. Block out all the negative energy."

Sara bit her lip, and forced a smile. But the tears started up again. "I can't loose this baby, Jillian. I just can't."

Jillian felt the tears in her own eyes finally spill down her cheeks. "I know, Sweetie," she leaned over, pulling the woman into a warm embrace.

The two fell into silence once again. But it was short lived as Bill walked through the door, holding it open for a nurse and a doctor He smiled at the two women.

"Ready?" he asked them. Jillian's eyes fell on Sara.

She sighed, putting her hand against her abdomen. She took a deep breath. "I don't know if I'm ever going to be ready," she said quietly, her thumb running over the paper gown that covered her flesh. "But I have to be."

She knew that the sooner she knew for sure, the better it'd be. The waiting and wondering was not helping her level of stress. But on the other hand, if it were bad news, the not knowing about it would give her a few more minutes of feeling like she was still connected to Nick. If the baby was gone, he would be too . . .

The doctor introduced herself as Doctor Brenner, and the nurse simply said her name was Amy.

When the Amy made a move to help Sara with rolling down the thin blanket, and roll up the paper gown to expose her flesh, Bill adverted his eyes. Clearing his throat, he announced, "I'll be just outside."

Sara's eyes shot up and she reached her hand out for him, "stay. Please." She saw the questioning look in his eyes, and she smiled as best she could. "I want you to stay."

Jillian nodded at her husband, telling him that he was to stay put. Though she loved that he was still a southern gentleman, ready to leave the room to make Sara more comfortable, they needed all the positive energy they could get. And Sara needed all the morale support she could get.

"All right," he nodded his head curtly and stepped up towards the head of the bed, keeping a firm grasp on the hand that she offered him. Jillian sat back down in the chair, firmly graping Sara's other hand. Both Bill and Jillian's free hands were resting above Sara's head, which was resting a pillow, on the mattress, clinging to one another for strength.

The nurse smiled sympathetically at Sara. "This is conducting gel," she explained, holding up the bottle for Sara to see. "It might feel a little cold and wet, OK?"

Sara nodded her head, but still flinched when the gel made contact with her skin.

Her heart was in her throat as the doctor snapped on his white gloves and placed the transducer on her abdomen. He held the wand still for a moment before turning on the monitor, which was facing away from them, and slowly moving the wand around.

The room was silent again and Sara could hear her heart beating in her ears . . . . .

She saw the doctor speaking softly the nurse, a concerned look etched across her face . . .

"What's wrong?" she immediately asked, her chin quivering. She fought against the tears as hard as she could, determined that she wouldn't fall apart until after she knew what was going on. It was only a second later that she realized something. "Why can't I hear my babys heartbeat?"

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Kelly Gordon sat on the front steps of Sylvia Mullin's home, looking towards the new subdivision of homes that was slowly encrouching on the house.

Turning off the engine of her car, Sylvia opened the drivers side door and onto her driveway. "Kelly," she greeted, not bothering to try and mask her surprise. "What're you doing here?"

"Didn't expect to see me, huh?" Kelly asked, her jaw set.

"You were less than thrilled with me the last time we spoke," she said, recalling when Kelly had visited her at her office.

"Well, would you have been happy if you were me?" She spat back icily.

Sylvia closed her eyes, wanting nothing more than to turn the clocks back a few months and make everything just disappear. Walter, although a good friend, had put her in a very difficult position, and now his daughter was not making her life any easier. "I suppose not," she finally answered, closing the door of her car. She popped open the trunk. "Can we just skip the pleasantries? I'm tired, and I just want to put away my groceries, and go to sleep."

"Can I come in?" Kelly asked her, eyeing her suspiciously

Sylvia quickly shook her head no. "I don't think so. Maybe some other time."

"Right," Kelly nodded her head and offered a sarcastic smile. Like that would ever happen.

Sylvia grabbed a couple of paper bags out of the trunk and hoisted them up on her hips, skillfully closing the trunk.

"That's a lot of food for one person, isn't it?" Kelly observed. Then laughed a little bit. "But then again, I'm not entirely sure why a single woman would buy a house this big, either."

"Look, if you came here -"

"Ooh, hit a nerve did I?" Kelly sneered. "Whatever. I don't really give damn why you bought this house -- oh, whoops. Sorry. Why my Dad bought you this house . . ." She eyed the woman up and down, sizing her up. "Its not like you were his type. But I guess a lot can change in three years, huh?"

"Guess so," Sylvia bit her tongue as she brushed past Kelly towards her front door. As much as she wanted to tell the young woman to take a long walk off a short pier, she knew that Kelly was just reacting to surprising news that had thrown her for a loop.

"I need money," she spit out.

"Oh really?" Sylvia asked, turning to face her. "And why does that involve me?"

"Because you are the Trustee of my Dad's Estate. You know he'd take care of me if he were still here."

"Yeah, well he's not, now is he?" Sylvia's eyes glazed over with hatred. "He'd still be here if it weren't for you."

"I didn't do anything!" Kelly yelled.

"Really? Then why were the CSIs able to link you to the murder?"

Kelly rotated her neck, trying to not get worked up over such a stupid comment. "I wasn't apart of it. I dropped the damn cup when I was running. I didn't want to get involved."

"Well, the jury thought otherwise. They saw the kind of person you really are. Too bad the parole board couldn't."

"So, I guess you're not going to give me any money, huh?"

"No, but I am going to give you some advice," Sylvia spat back. "It's the least I can do. After all, you're Dad would want you to be taken care of . . . so, do it. Take care of yourself. Be a woman and get a job."

"Don't do something you'll regret," Kelly warned, her eyes becoming dark.

"Too late," and with that, she walked inside her house and closed the door, locking it behind her.

"BITCH!" Kelly screamed towards the house before angrily making her way to her beat up car that she'd bought for only a couple hundred dollars . . . Once inside, she banged her hand against the wheel. "How could you've been so stupid, Dad?" she asked aloud. "Now she thinks she has all the power . . . Us Gordon's are the ones with the power, isn't that right?" She looked at the crumpled up photo that sat on her dash board of her father. She smiled slightly as her fingers traced his face. An almost serene look passed over her. "We'll just have to show her whose boss, won't we?"

Knowing that the perfect plan would take some time to map out, she sped off down the street, thinking of ways to make Sylvia Mullin's pay for ruining her life . . .

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Greg watched the scene unfolding from across the street, in the passenger side of Warrick's Denali. "Well . . . this is . . . interesting."

"Intense," Warrick nodded, his eyebrows creasing together as he thought about what it could all mean.

After telling Brass about this findings, he felt like he needed to discuss things with. Nick would've been his first choice, but since he was unavailable, it was Greg. Grissom wouldn't be impressed that he used channels that weren't legal, and he just couldn't drag Catherine into it. Not when she had Lindsay to worry about. First of all though, he needed to figure out what exactly was going on. And what, if anything, it had to do with loosing Nick.

So, after telling Greg about the information he'd obtained, the two had decided that they would follow Kelly around to see if she'd slip up and they might find out something useful. They just happened to luck out that on their first stake-out, she'd lead them to Sylvia's home

"Those two certainly don't look like they were ever best friends," Greg said. "Do you think Kelly's showing up here has anything to do with the missing money?"

Warrick shook his head. He had to strain to hear it, but he'd heard Kelly asking for money from the Estate. "Naw. If she was wanting money, and Sylvia didn't want to give it to her, she could've held the missing three hundred grand over her head. Blackmail her . . ."

"But she didn't." Greg looked around. The new housing developements and shook his head. "Something just doesn't feel right."

Warrick sighed in relief. "You feel it too?"

He nodded his head and motioned all around them. "Does Sylvia Mullin's strike you as the type of woman who'd want to live here?" The new multi-million dollar home subdivision.

Warrick nodded his head. "She does seem like she'd want to live in an area with wealthy people," he pointed out.

"But this is about as far away from the glitz and glamor of Vegas as you can get," Greg said. "She seems like the type of woman who'd want to be in the middle of all the action. Not secluded away from it."

Warrick nodded his head, agreeing with what Greg was saying. "She's on the move," he said, turning over the Denali's engine and slowly, unnoticed by Kelly, pulled out onto the roadway, following her a safe distance behind . . .

Neither of the CSIs realized how close they were to the truth, and that they were just getting farther, and farther away . . . .

TBC . . . .


	11. Chapter 11

Yay for the reviews! I'm so happy that I'm keeping you all entertained. :) I'm not sure how often I'll be able to update as I've started a new job (plus I'm in the middle of a major bedroom re-do). I really have to create a plan of attack to get one chapter done. I hope to update on a fairly regular basis (once or twice a week), but rest assured, I have no intentions of not finishing this. I hate starting something and then not seeing it through (though that's happened a couple of times).

Much thanks to Jordan4Woody! I really appreciate all your help.

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"What's going on?" Warrick asked as he and Greg entered Grissom's office. They'd been following Kelly when both their pagers went off, requesting them to get back to Grissom's office immediately. Since it'd been a slow night, the two had been allowed to follow a "possible lead" on a cold case. Luckily for them, Grissom hadn't questioned them any farther than that. If he'd known what they were doing, he probably wouldn't have allowed it as Kelly could claim 'police harassment' . . .

"Did we get a lead on another cold case, or something?" Greg asked, closing the door behind them.

Grissom looked up at the two CSIs, not knowing what to say. Or rather, how to say it.

"What's going on?" Greg asked, feeling the tension.

Catherine smiled slightly at Grissom, understanding that he was having difficulty finding the words. She turned to face her friends. "We know where Sara is."

"Where is she?" Warrick asked quickly. "Is she OK? Did she call?"

"She's in Dallas," Catherine stated.

"What's she doing there?" Greg asked.

"Don't really know," Grissom stated. "Maybe she's visiting Nick's family."

"They didn't seem that close when Nick's parents were here when . . . you know," Warrick said.

"We didn't know about Nick and Sara's relationship," Catherine said. "Maybe they didn't tell his parents, either. If they had known, I think the three of them would've been pretty dependent on each other."

"So, what?" Greg asked, confused. "She went for a visit?"

Catherine shrugged her shoulders.

"All we know is that she's there," Grissom said. "And no, she didn't call. We got lucky since we had put the APB out on her."

"What are you not telling us?" Warrick asked firmly, just needing to know what exactly was going on.

"There was an accident," Catherine said calmly, trying to control her emotions. "She's been admitted to one of the area hospitals. We don't know what kind of accident it was, or how bad it is."

Greg leaned forward and grabbed Grissom's phone, intent on getting information on his friend.

"They won't give you any information, Greg," Grissom reminded him. "You're not family."

"We tried," Catherine told them.

"I talked to the Swing Shift supervisor," Grissom said. "They're covering for us for the rest of tonight. We're flying to Dallas."

"Go get packed," Catherine told them. "My father is lending us his plane. We leave in thirty minutes."

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"This is killing me," Sara sniffled. "I can't stand this!"

"I know, honey," Jillian said soothingly, brushing a piece of Sara's unruly curls behind her ear.

Bill sighed, unsure of what to do or say.

After Sara had asked why she couldn't hear her babys heart beating, Doctor Brenner had looked up and given a half smile. She'd explained that the Ultra Sound machine was having a bit of a glitch as the picture was blurry. She couldn't say for sure that this was why they were unable to hear the heart beat, but it was a real possibility that if the machines picture was blurry, that the sound card had been damaged . . . she'd left the room immediately in search of another machine.

Sara was exhausted. The day had been long and emotional, and she really had been looking forward to crawling into bed and passing out . . . but after falling down the stairs, she knew it'd be an even longer night.

"Are you still cramping?" Jillian asked her quietly.

She shook her head no. "Thank God," she added softly, her hand touching her stomach again. She smiled slightly, realizing that it was already becoming quite the habit.

"When was the last one?"

"Hmm," she tried to remember the time on the clock when the last one hit . . . "twenty minutes. Maybe a half hour."

"That's a good sign," she smiled at the younger woman.

Sara smiled, though it was aprehensive. "I hope so."

A couple of minutes later, the nurse and doctor re-entered the room, smiling apologetically for the delay.

Quickly the machine was set up again, and once again, Sara's abdomen was smothered in the conducting gel. The wand was placed against the small, almost unnoticable bump on her stomach. The doctor flipped on the screen and a small smile slowly played on her lips. She turned the monitor around for Sara to see and pointed out the small image on the screen. "This is your baby."

Sara's eyes watered with tears as she looked at her growing child. Bill and Jillian smiled at the image.

"I still don't hear it's heart beat," she said quietly, her happiness quickly waning. She needed reassurance.

"It's right here," Amy, the nurse pointed out, showing a visible, and strong beat. "See it?"

A happy tear fell down her face and Bill wiped it away with his thumb, smiling at her.

"Here," the doctor said, trying to not get emotional at the display infront of her, turning up the sound on the machine.

Sara's eye lit up in amazement. "It's so fast," she said. "Is that normal?"

Amy smiled at Sara, nodding her head. "By the looks and sounds of it, your baby is completely healthy."

Sara let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding, relief flooding over her body.

"That's great news," Jillian smiled.

"Would you like a picture of your baby?" Amy asked Sara. Sara beamed back at her, nodding her head yes, unable to form any words. Her happiness was overwhelming her and she just couldn't find her voice.

Bill looked at the doctor. "When will she be released?"

Doctor Brenner smiled at the expectant Grandparents, then at Sara. "I want to keep you here over night, just to monitor you. It's a precaution we take with all women who fall early in their pregnancy. It's routine, and most of the time, it's uneventful." She and Amy started packing up the Ultra Sound equiptment. "As for the immediate future, when we do release you, I want you on bedrest for at least a week. You can get up to use the washroom. It's OK to take a warm, not hot, bath, or a quick, warm shower. But nothing more, OK?"

Sara couldn't wipe the smile off her face, but she was finally able to speak. "Yeah, that's fine. I'll do whatever I have to for this baby," she said. Yesterday, if she'd been told she needed bedrest, she would've been pissed. It would've felt like the end of the world. But right now, it felt like she was getting a new lease on life.

"Good," Doctor Brenner smiled. "We'll schedule you for an appointment in about a week to see how everything is going. If it all looks good, we'll take you off bedrest, OK?"

"Thank you," Sara smiled.

"I didn't do anything," the doctor smiled. "Just relax, and get some sleep OK?"

Sara nodded her head, and yawned a little bit, sinking down into the less than comfortable mattress that the hospital passed off as a bed.

Once the Doctor and nurse slipped through the door and into the hallway, Sara spoke softly. "Thanks for being here with me. I think I would've lost my mind if you hadn't been."

Jillian smiled at her. "You don't have to thank us," she said. "There is no where else we would've been."

"Do you want something to eat or drink before you get some rest?"

Sara shook her head, smiling up at Bill. "No, but thank you." She rested her head back against the pillows which, unlike the bed, were surprisingly nice.

"See you in the morning," Jillian pat her arm as she leaned back in the chair, finding a comfortable position.

"Aren't you going home?" she asked curiously, watching as Jillian settled herself in. She glanced over at Bill who seemed to be doing the same.

Both shook their heads no.

"We'll be right here if you need us."

"That's really sweet," Sara said softly, "but you two really should go home and get some rest. In real beds. The doctor doesn't seem concerned, and like she said that I'm only staying here because it's precaution."

"I don't mind," Bill said.

"Me either."

"I know, and I appreciate that, but I'd feel much better if you two were at home, sleeping in your own bed. Besides, I think I need a little bit of time to just . . . . take it all in, you know?" She glanced over at the computer print off photo of the baby. "Trust me, I'm not going to be running a marathon. I'll stay here, and won't move an muscle."

"If you're sure," Jillian said, standing up and leaning over to hug Sara.

"I am," she smiled back.

"You can call us at any time if you need us," Bill assured her, leaning down to kiss her on the cheek. "Even if it's because you just don't want to be alone."

"Thank you," she smiled. The pair wandered off towards the door, glancing back at her, smiling slightly. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," they whispered back, slowly exitting the room.

Once the door was closed firmly behind them, Jillian let out a shaky breath. "Whoo."

"It's been a long night," Bill said, closing his eyes tightly, realizing for the first time just how tired he was. He pulled Jillian tight against him in a comforting hug. "I love you."

Jillian smiled into his chest. "I love you too." They slowly parted, taking one anothers hands, and making their way towards the exit. "You know, I didn't tell Sara this, but I was terrified. I thought she'd lost the baby."

Bill nodded, understanding. "I did too. Especially when the first machine didn't work. That had to have been one of the scariest times of my life."

"Mine too."

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Four hours later, Sara woke up from her peaceful slumber. The moonlight shone into the room through the open window shades.

It didn't take long after Bill and Jillian left for her to fall asleep, but now, things were setting in. Tears rolled down her cheeks. Slowly, at first. Then faster. Her hand once again found her little bump. "I almost lost you, tonight," she said quietly. "We almost lost you, really. You have a lot of people who already love you. Your Daddys family can't wait to meet you." She glanced over at the ultrasound picture that seemed to glow in the moonlight that hit the paper. "I can't wait to meet you."

Her tears started to fall even faster and her emotions were frayed. A few minutes later, she was able to calm herself down a little. "I'm not going to lie to you, baby," she said gently, between soft sobs. "I'm scared. And I don't know the first thing about being pregnant. Let alone being a mother. But I love you so much. And I know your Daddy would too. And I don't want to put any pressure on you," she rubbed her abdomen, "but, hey, you're never going to remember this, right? I can't loose you. You're all I have left. Your Daddy was my only family, and now that he's not here, you're it. You're my life. Without him, I thought my life was over. Then I found out that you were in there," she spoke to her stomach. "If I lost you too, I would die. So you hang on, OK? We're going to figure out everything as we go, and it'll be scary. But I love you too much not to try." She reached over for a tissue to dry her eyes. "So you rest," she said softly. "Get big and strong. And when you're ready, I'll be out here in the world waiting for you."

Once she was done talking to her baby, she just pulled her legs up to her chest and rested her forehead against her knees, softly crying . . . . scared for what the next few days might bring. What the next few months might bring. What the next 18 years might bring . . .

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"What do you mean you can't tell us where she is, or how she's doing?" Grissom's strong, but quiet, voice resonated within the empty room.

"I'm sorry, Sir," an Elderly woman apologized from the desk. "But it's after visiting hours and you aren't family."

"Of for crying out loud," Catherine sighed, pulling out her CSI tag which she'd thrown in her purse by accident, rather than leaving it in her locker back at the Lab. She thrust the laminated picture ID infront of the womans face. "I'm Catherine Willows with the Las Vegas Crime Lab. These are my collegues Gil Grissom, Warrick Brown and Greg Sanders. We are investigating the incident involving CSI Sidle."

"Your from Vegas, in Texas, investigating this?" she said, disbelieving.

Catherine nodded her head indignantly. "Yes. Sara Sidle work for the Las Vegas Crime Lab, as well. Why wouldn't we be?"

"Um, because it's not a matter for the police to get involved with," the older woman said firmly. "If there is one thing I hate, young lady, it's being lied too. If you want to see Ms. Sidle, you'll have to wait until visiting hours. And even then, she will have to clear you to be placed on the visitors list."

Grissom placed a hand on Catherine's shoulder, pulling her back from the window. "Look," he said to her, but to Warrick and Greg as well, "we can always call the Stokes family to see if they know anything about this."

"You know Judge Stokes?" The Elderly woman asked quickly. Obviously her hearing was fully intact. She could hear a pin drop in another room.

Grissom straightened his back. "Yes, my team and I worked with him a few weeks ago."

The woman visibly softened. "On his sons abduction?"

The four nodded their heads solemnly.

"Was Ms. Sidle also one of the investigators?" she asked. She really didn't know the story behind how the Stokes knew Sara, but just that they seemed to be very concerned and close with the woman. When she saw the four nod their heads in confirmation once again, she sighed. "Poor girl. She's been through so much."

"May we please see her?" Warrick asked, his voice bordering on desperation. "Just to make sure she's OK?"

"Please?" Greg asked. "We've been very concerned. We won't stay long. We won't disturb her, just stay long enough to see her for our own eyes. We'll come back in the morning to talk to her."

The Eldery woman looked from one face to the next, until she could clearly see how distraught they all were with worry. "I could get into a lot of trouble for this," she sighed, looking at the paper to confirm Sara's room number. "She's in room 458. Just go to the end of the hall, take the elevators to the fourth floor and then follow the signs to her room."

After thanking the woman profusely, the four headed towards the elevator.

"This way," Grissom quietly instructed, leading the way towards her room on the fourth floor. "455 . . . 456 . . . 457 . . ." He stopped, glancing back at his team. "458. This is it."

Catherine stepped ahead of him, placing her hand on the door handle, preparing to go in. She looked at the three men standing just behind her before taking a deep breath, turning the knob and quietly entering the room.

The four stood in complete silence, their hearts breaking. Sara was still resting her head on her knees, sniffling.

"Sara?" Catherine said quietly as she stepped farther into the room.

Her head snapped up at the sudden noise and she looked into the faces of her four concerned friends. She immediately forced her emotions back. But it was too late. The tell tale sign of red, puffy eyes, and blotchy skin told them all they needed to know.

Sara took a deep breath and forced a smile, meekly answering them. "Hi, guys. What're you doing here?"

TBC . . .


	12. Chapter 12

Yahoo! I've surpassed the 100 review mark! The reaction this story has gotten is so gratifying, so thanks to everyone who has reviewed. It brightens my day so much to hear all your kind words.

Just as a quick note, I think I'm going to have to write shorter chapters so that I can update a little more frequently. I hope no one minds, but the length of the other chapters were kind of long, and as much as I enjoy writing (and reading) long chapters, for the sake of updating on a more regular basis, this is something that I just feel I'll have to do. Hope everyone understands.

I disclaim . . .

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"What we doing here?" Warrick questioned her. His voice wasn't soft, but it wasn't harsh either. He sounded more confused than anything. "Why _wouldn't_ we be here?"

Sara glanced down at the bed, idly playing with the thin cotton sheet covering her legs. "I'm sorry. I just . . . I did expect to see you."

"We didn't expect you to leave Vegas," Greg pointed out, walking over to the bed and squeezing her hand quickly, smiling slightly. "And we certainly didn't expect that you wouldn't call us to let us know where you were. And if you were OK."

"Speaking of which," Grissom said quickly, but quietly, his eyes roaming her body for any signs of trauma, "what happened?"

Sara's breath hitched in her throat. Could she tell them? Was she ready for them to know? Would they be happy for her? Would they be mad that she and Nick didn't tell them about their relationship?

"I fell down the stairs at Nick's parents house," she said quietly.

Catherine sat down at the foot of the bed, facing Sara. Gil stood at the foot of the bed studying her. Waiting for her to continue.

Warrick took the seat next to Sara, opposite of Greg. He picked up her hand, this thumb rubbing against the smooth flesh. "We know, Sar."

"Know?" She questioned, her eyes glistening. "Know what?"

"About you and Nick," Catherine rubbed her leg gently.

Sara closed her eyes tightly. "I'm sorry we didn't tell you."

"It's OK," Gil said solemnly. He wished that he'd known. That might've explained Sara's reaction to his death a lot better. But it didn't matter anymore. "You were both happier that I'd ever seen you. And if that's what you did for each other, then you two obviously did something right."

Sara felt a crocodile tear fall down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away. "We wanted to tell you. But . . . ."

"Ecklie," Catherine finished for her.

Grissom seethed. Ecklie was one of the biggest reasons why he'd never tried to move beyond a professional relationship with Sara. He was seemingly completely against office romances. That was bad enough. But it physically made his heart ache to know that Sara had been grieving Nick's death basically alone because she and Nick had been fearful of what Ecklie would do if he ever found out.

"We were going to tell you," she nodded. "Soon, actually. We were talking about buying a house and living together. Matching change of address forms would've been a give-a-way."

"Why did you say anything after?" Greg asked, looking into his friends troubled eyes. "We could've been there for you more than we were."

Sara shook her head quickly. "No." It was firm. "It didn't seem important after everything that happened. It wouldn't have changed anything."

"Sara, we would've understood -"

"And you would've treated me completely differently. Like I was about to break." She looked at them all, surprised at how angry she sounded. "I'm sorry," she sighed. "I just didn't want to make it seem like Nick meant more to me than to any of you. We all loved him."

"But you were in love with him, weren't you?" Catherine asked quietly.

Sara swallowed against the lump in her throat. She nodded her head. "Still am. Always will be."

"Why did you leave?" Warrick asked her, leaning back against the material of the chair.

"After Nick's abduction," she looked down, "I knew that I wasn't really myself. I was just a shell of me. And work was the one thing that made any sense. And as soon as Grissom put me on LOA, the walls just came crashing down. I felt trapped. Leaving was the only way out."

Grissom looked down at the foot of the bed. "I'm sorry, Sara."

Sara shook her head. "Don't be." She smiled gently at him. "I was resentful at first. Believe me, I was pissed. And I do miss it. Immensely. But I understand why you did what you did. I think I would've done the same thing if I were in your position."

The room fell silent for a few minutes, everyone lost in their own thoughts.

"Sara?" Catherine started apprehensively. "You said you fell down a flight of stairs. Why are they keeping you over night? You look OK. And even someone with a concussion is checked over and released."

She smiled a little, reaching over for the paper picture on the table beside the bed, which had been face down on the veneer of the pressed partical board. She held the paper firmly in her hands for a second before extending her arm to Catherine so she could take the paper. "This is why."

Catherine looked confused, but took the photo anyway. She glanced at both Greg and Warrick who were watching her curiously and she could feel Grissom's stare on her back. Slowly, she turned it over to take a look at it. She gasped slightly, smiling a little. "Really?" 

Sara smile widened and it was genuine. "Really."

"And you're sure you're OK?" Grissom said, eyeing her closely.

"What's going on?" Greg asked, feeling out of the loop.

"Yes, we're fine," she spoke.

"Huh? Would someone tell Greg and I what's going on - _wait. We're_?"

"I'm pregnant," Sara whispered, her voice hitching. "I fell because I was dizzy, and I just happened to be climbing the stairs to go to bed."

Catherine smiled at Sara. "This is wonderful. I loved being pregnant with Lindsay. I'm sure you're going to love it too."

"I just wish Nick were here," she felt another tear slip down her cheek as her heart became heavy.

Warrick's smile disappeared and his features saddened. "Did he know?"

She shook her head no sadly. "I didn't find out until a couple of weeks ago. I guess I should be thankful, though. At least he didn't feel guilty because he didn't know he was leaving a child behind."

Catherine's smile disappeared and her eyes clouded over with guilt. She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

"He'd have been thrilled, Sara," Greg chimed in, swallowing around the lump in his throat.

"Thanks," she whispered. "I needed to hear that." She felt herself begin to yawn and as much as she tried to hide it, it was impossible.

"Looky here," Warrick teased, "I think someone needs her beauty rest."

"Shut up," she grinned, gently slapping at him.

He chuckled deeply, standing up. He carefully leaned over and pulled her torso into him. "I'm glad your OK, Sara. I've missed you." He kissed her on the cheek then bent down and spoke quietly, but still loud enough for everyone to hear. "You'd better be sleeping, little one. If you're not, as your Uncle Warrick, I feel it is my responsibility to tell you that it is way past your bed time." Everyone laughed softly. "You be nice to your mommy, OK?" He placed his hand on her stomach for a quick second before stepping away, smiling at her the entire time.

"Uncle Warrick is the responsible one," Greg said to her stomach, almost conspiratorily. "Responbile equals uncool. So I, cool Uncle Greg, will show you how to pick up chicks -"

"You mean after you learn?" Warrick quipped.

"And take you to strip clubs -"

"Hey now," Sara laughed, "no corrupting my child before he or she is even born."

Greg grinned. "OK, maybe we'll just have to settle for me taking you out for your very first beer. When your of legal age, of course."

"Of course," she smiled at him. "But, uh? Greg? What if it's a girl?"

"Hmm . . . I guess I'll build her a doll house." He shrugged. "I'll figure something out." He leaned over and hugged Sara. "Get some rest, OK?"

"Sure," she said, hugging him back.

Grissom stood awkwardly at the foot of the bed, staring at Sara. "I don't really know what to say."

Sara smiled, nodding her head. "I know. It's OK."

He smiled slightly at her before walking around to the side of the bed and leaning in to hug her as well. "I've missed you." He kissed her on the cheek then turned to join Warrick and Greg at the door.

Catherine look at Sara, still feeling guilty. She looked over at the guys. "Uh, I'll be out in a minute OK? I need to talk to Sara alone."

The three nodded their heads and all threw smiles over at Sara, telling her they'd see her soon.

One the door was closed, Catherine sighed. "I'm so sorry, Sara. If I'd known, I never would've said what I did."

Sara smiled. "I know, and it's OK. I didn't even know then."

_Flashback_

_Sara sat on the stool near the bar, absently tracing the rim of her glass of sprite. Tears were welling up in her eyes, but they didn't fall. She wouldn't cry. She couldn't. Not in front of everyone._

_Catherine sighed as she sat down on the stool next to her. "What a day," she said quietly, holding her hand up to the bar tender, signalling that she'd like a refill. "How are you doing? You've been pretty quiet."_

_She shrugged her shoulders. "Fine, I guess," but her words were hollow. Truth was, she felt like she was going to fall apart. She sat through the service, trying to focus all her energy on the memories of Nick that filled her thoughts. The times he held her and kissed her. The happy times. "Feels like it's just been a bad day. A horrible dream. That I'm going to wake up and he'll be sitting in the break room, telling me that I've been working too hard."_

_Catherine nodded her head. "It doesn't seem real, does it?"_

_She shook her head no. "I can still hear him laughing, Cath. Like he's right there and all I have to do is reach out and grab his hand. But no matter how hard I try, my arms just aren't long enough and I can't bring him back."_

_"I know," she agreed, downing her scotch in one swig. "But I guess we just have to take comfort that Nick didn't leave behind a wife or kids. Lindsay loved her father so much, and she misses him so terribly. If he had to be taken, at least there isn't a widow out there with a whole in her heart and kids to feed."_

_Sara nodded her head. She cleared her throat, fighting against the tears that continued to threaten to fall. "I, ah, I think I'm going to go home." She swiveled around on the bar stood, standing up. "See ya later, Cath." Not waiting for a good bye, she briskly walked out in to the warm Las Vegas night air._

_She blindly walked away from the Tangiers, where Catherine's father had allowed the Crime Lab and LVPD officers to gather to say good bye to one of their own. Walking down the strip in daze of bright lights and laughter, Sara could feel the emptiness in the pit of her stomach. He may not have left a wife or children behind, but he'd still left a woman who'd loved him more than life itself. Four days ago, when she'd last seen him in the locker room, telling her about their weekend getaway, she never would've thought that her life could've changed so drastically, so quickly. Of that she'd feel like her heart had been ripped out . . . and the tears fell._

_End flashback_

"I can't imagine what it must've been like for Nick down there," she said quietly, looking down at her hands. When she glanced up at Catherine, she smiled bitterly, "but as much as I wanted to tell him that I loved him and that it would be OK, I'm glad he didn't know about the baby. I think that just would've made things harder for him."

Catherine nodded her head, not knowing what to say. So she leaned in and hugged the woman, both letting their emotions seep from their orbs. Together, they cried, rocking back and forth. Crying for that of a lost life . . . and a new life . . .

"It's going to be OK," Catherine said. "You'll see."

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_There's a ship out_

_On the ocean_

_At the mercy of the sea_

_It's been tossed about_

_Lost and broken_

_Wandering aimlessly_

_And God somehow_

_You know that ship is me_

_'Cause there's a lighthouse_

_In the harbour_

_Shining faithfully_

_Pouring its light out_

_Across the water_

_For this sinking soul to see_

_That someone out there_

_Still believes in me_

_On a prayer, in a song_

_I hear your voice and_

_It keeps me hanging on_

_Raining down_

_Against the wind_

_I'm reaching out till_

_We reach the circle's end_

_When you come_

_Back to me again_

_There's a moment_

_We all come to_

_In our own time and_

_Our own space_

_Where all that we've done_

_We can undo_

_If our heart's_

_In the right place_

_On a prayer, in a song_

_I hear your voice and_

_It keeps me hanging on_

_Raining down_

_Against the wind_

_I'm reaching out till_

_We reach the circle's end_

_When you come_

_Back to me again_

_And again I see_

_My yesterday's in front of me_

_Unfolding like a mystery_

_You're changing all that is_

_And used to be_

_On a prayer, in a song_

_I hear your voice and_

_It keeps me hanging on_

_Raining down_

_Against the wind_

_I'm reaching out till_

_We reach the circle's end_

_When you come_

_Back to me again_

_When you come_

_Back to me again_

Nick leaned against the cold cement wall in the dark, dingy basement. He slowly knocked his head against the hard surface staring off into space.

He felt a tear rolling down his cheek. Crying had never been the way he'd dealt with his emotions. But that was all he had. There was nothing else. Sitting alone in a dark, dingy basement was all he did. Day in, Day out. A stack of writing tablets with yellow paper sat in the corner by the hard bed. Some filled up with his thoughts. Others with letters, detailing how he missed those he loved. How he wished he'd done things differently. Wishing that the people on the outside world knew where to look. But the various news papers on the cold floor told him that no one believed him to be alive.

'CSI Stokes Dead,' one title read. It had been a newspaper published the morning after he'd been taken captive. The headline on another read 'CSI Death Investigation Closed on Lack of Evidence.' Though both of those papers had been difficult for him to see and read simply because it proved what he'd been told since the start -- that no one was looking for him -- but the worst article had been on the front page four days after his so called death. The picture plastered on the recycled paper showed his team sitting side by side in the front row of his LVPD Memorial. Catherine had tears rolling down her face as Grissom sat stoically beside her. Warrick looked sick, Greg looked like he'd lost his puppy. But it was Sara that had tugged on his heart strings the most.

She sat there, in her black dress, head hung low, lips pursed together in a pout that he knew meant she was on the verge of loosing it, but was determined to hold it together even if it meant she'd hurt even worse. He ran his fingers along the contours of her face, thankful that he had the picture even if it was of such sad event in his friends lives. It was all he had left of them. His wallet had been lost somewhere along the way in the shuffle of his abduction, the pictures inside disappearing along with it . . . . Even if he never got out of there, he'd always have the picture from the Memorial in the paper to remind them of the wonderful people whom he'd been lucky enough to have in his life. And while he knew he'd never forget his beautiful Sara, and what she looked like, he liked having something tangible to hold on to.

He focused on her face, trying to remember what it was like to hold her in his arms. To feel the warmth of her body. To feel her love. The lump in his throat restricted his breathing and the tears flowed from his eyes. "I love you, Sara," he cried quietly.

Suddenly standing up, he reached out for the lamp in anger, throwing it to the floor, shattering it into a million pieces. He stared down at a large piece of broken glass. Bending down, he picked up the shard. Eyeing it carefully, he stood back up and walked over to the bed. The feeling of desperation that he'd been feeling since he'd been taken was slowly being replaced by depression.

"It's the only way out of this hell," he muttered, bringing the glass up to his line of vision for one last inspection . . .

TBC . . . .


	13. Chapter 13

Wow! 19 reviews. I'm astounded! And thrilled. I was so excited to see how many people enjoyed the last chapter. I'm sorry that it's taken this long for another update. Work was hectic and the little time I was at home was very busy. My weekend has flown by far too fast, and I didn't get every thing accomplished that needed to be, but oh well. That's life. Anyway, as I said in the last chapter, I'll probably do shorter chapters as well to keep updates coming a little more frequently, but as I realized after the last chapter, I just can't stop writing when I'm in a groove.

To those who have questions about things -- just be patient :) I promise I'll get to the answers. I hate loose ends as much as the next person, but all will be revealed in due time.

I disclaim . . .

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The team entered Sara's hospital room quietly. It was almost eight thirty and they wanted to come say goodbye before they had to head back to Vegas.

"Mr. Stokes, Mrs. Stokes," Warrick greeted kindly, stepping forward and giving Nick's mom a gentle hug and kiss on the cheek before stepping aside and firmly shaking his fathers hand.

The two smiled warmly at Warrick and the rest of the team.

"Where's Sara?" Grissom asked.

"Found her," Greg dead panned, making a disgusted face and nodding towards the closed bathroom door.

"How long has she been in there?" Catherine quietly asked Jillian.

"At least ten minutes," she sighed. "The morning sickness has been giving her trouble for a while now. All the home remedies that we've tried just don't seem to work."

"Same thing happened to me when I was pregnant with Lindsay. Just had to ride it out," Catherine sighed.

After a few minutes of idle chit chat, Sara emerged from the bathroom, flushed and feeling only slightly better. She looked up and managed a weak smile. Slowly she crawled back up on to the bed which was located near the bathroom door, tucking her knees underneath her as she sat back, intent on keeping with doctors orders of bed rest. "Morning," she said through a sudden yawn.

"Morning," Warrick smiled, leaning over and placing a chaste kiss on her cheek. "How'd you sleep?"

"Pretty good, I guess," she shrugged, smiling a little.

"You look pretty tired, Sara," Greg commented as he leaned down and gave her a kiss on the cheek as well.

Catherine and Jillian chuckled when they saw the look that she shot towards Greg. He put up his hands in mock surrender.

"Women are always tired when they are pregnant," Catherine pointed out.

"Especially after a long night," Jillian added softly.

"Speaking of which," Grissom spoke up, "there weren't any complications after we left, were there?"

Sara smiled a little, shaking her head happily. "I'm being sprung from the joint this morning."

"That's great," Catherine said genuinely.

"So, when are you coming home?" Greg asked bluntly.

She blinked a few times, thinking deeply. "I'm not sure. There isn't much of a rush. Besides, I'm not going back to work." When she heard Grissom sigh, she quickly added, "because I don't want too. At least, not yet. To be honest, as much as I miss working with you guys and my job, I'm not sure I'm going back."

"Where would you go?" Warrick asked, his brows furrowing together.

"I'm thinking that right here sounds pretty good," she gave them a watery smile before turning her attention to Jillian and Bill. "I had some time to think last night," she admitted. "I can't say that it's going to be forever, but I know that I can't do this alone," she heard Catherine chuckle and she smirked. "I know I need help. If you asked me a year ago if I ever needed help with anything, I'd have said that I was completely self sufficient. But Nick taught me that it's OK to need to help." The tears continued to well up in her eyes. "And our baby deserves to know its family. God knows I don't have any." She turned her attention away from Jill and Bill's smiling faces and towards her friends who were looking sad. "Except the family that I have in Vegas." A tear slipped down her cheek and she wiped it away quickly.

"We'll give you guys some time alone," Bill said, placing his hand on his wifes back and leading her out of the room, gently closing the door behind them.

"I'm not saying that I'll never come back, but right now, I just don't think I can. Not without Nick," more tears slipped down her face. "I'm going to visit after the baby is born. I want you all to know this baby. And I want this baby to know where Nick thought of as home. As much as he loves Texas, Vegas was his home. Our home." The tears were falling too fast now for her to wipe them away. Catherine leaned down and hugged her.

"We're going to miss you," Grissom said stoically. But inside, he was a mess. They'd lost Nick. Then they'd lost Sara, and got her back. Now they were loosing her all over again.

"I'm just a phone call away," Catherine said, taking Sara's face in between her hands. "And I expect you to to do just that, OK?"

Sara smiled. "Yeah."

Warrick just smiled at Sara, trying his best to keep his own emotions at bay. He understood why she had to leave. It didn't meant that he liked it though. "You're like a sister to me, Sara. And Nick was like my brother. Which, I suppose would make us a very dysfunctional family," he smirked and she laughed lightly. "I love you so much. But I'm going to come up here and visit as much as I can. You're going to be sick of me."

"That'll never happen," she whispered, pulling him towards her for a hug. "Nick loved you like a brother too. And I love you too," she kissed his cheek before plastering a big smile across her face, gently pushing him away.

"I guess this is goodbye then," Greg looked down at the floor.

She shook her head. "Nu ah. Not goodbye. More like see you later," she commented. "You can't get rid of me that easily. I meant what I said. You are all my family. And I hold that very close to me."

Greg grinned at her. Part of him truly wanted to believe her. But he knew that in all his experience, when someone made the life altering decision to live far away from their home base, even if only for a while, they generally never came back. Life had a funny way of getting in the way. Changing things. And having a baby was definitely one of those life altering occassions. And as much as he wanted to believe that things wouldn't change, he knew that they would. And this was only the beginning. Perhaps the beginning of the end.

"So, I guess we should get going," Catherine announced, standing up as she looked at her watch. "If we board the plane by ten, we can be back in Vegas by noon. Long enough to go home, get some rest, and then head in for our shifts tonight."

Sara smiled at them, emotions overwhelming her. Other than Nick, no one had ever gone out of their way to show her how much she meant to them. But now, she had four people flying from Nevada to Texas just to check on her. "Thank you," she whispered, biting down on her lip in an attempt to not burst into tears.

"I love you," Catherine said quietly, leaning down and hugging Sara quickly, stroking her back in the process. "Now, I'd better go give the pilot a call and tell him to gas up the jet."

"Give Linds a hug for me, OK?"

Catherine nodded her head, smiling through her own tears. "Will do." Gently waving a silent good bye, she walked out of the door, and down the corridor, in search of a pay phone to call the pilot.

"I guess we'll be heading out then," Warrick sighed, squeezing her knees cap in his palm. "Do us a favor, alright? Send us those ultrasound pictures of the Squirt, will ya?"

Sara smiled, throwing a glance over at the black and white print off beside the bed. "Absolutely." She winked at him. "Uncle Warrick."

He chucked good naturedly, mussing up her hair slightly.

"Take care of yourself," Greg whispered, his eyes glazing over. "You're going to be a great mother, Sara."

"Thanks, Greggo," she smiled.

His smile was genuine. The last time he'd been called that was by Nick. "Nick would've been so thrilled. I'm sure he'll be with you ever step of the way in spirit."

She nodded her head, tears once again pooling and spilling out of her eyes. "I hope so."

"I know so," he winked. He leaned over, giving her a quick hug, and when he pulled back, he spoke to her tummy, "take care of your mommy, little one. She's a stubborn woman, so you've got your work cut out for you."

Greg stood up and walked towards the door where Warrick was standing, both men waiting for Grissom to say his goodbye and join them.

"I'll be out in a minute," the older CSI said, silently telling the others that he needed a moment alone with Sara.

The two took the hint, exitting the room.

Sara sat there for a few minutes watching him curiously. He hadn't looked at her. In fact, he'd been looking every where but at her.

"Hey," she said softly, reaching out a hand for Grissom to take.

He smiled slightly, taking her offered hand. "I'm sorry."

She sighed, rolling her eyes slightly, but good naturedly. "Gris, I've already told you--"

"I'm sorry that we didn't get to Nick in time," he blurted out. His shoulders slumped forward and for the first time, Sara could see what kind of emotional turmoil Grissom was really in. They all knew he'd been effected by Nick's loss -- but the wall around his heart came down and she could clearly see how troubled he was.

"You did your best," she told him, shaking her head. "We all did. And in my heart, I know that Nick knows that."

"You still talk about him in present tense, you know," he sighed.

"I guess I do," she acknowledged. "I still don't feel it in my heart." She bit her lip. "I just can't help but feel like there is a piece of the puzzle out there, of what happened, waiting to be found. Something that will make it all real." She took a deep breath. "And as much as we all need that . . . closure, I'm not sure I want it. Because if I get that, I might feel like maybe it will make it real, and I'll have to let go. Nick told me once, when I was working on a cold case, that not all victims want to know what happened . . . I didn't really understand what he meant back then. You know? How could anyone not want closure? But now . . . even though I'm not the victim, closure might make it seem too real . . . ."

"If we'd just found the link to Nick and the Gordon's earlier, he'd be here now. And your baby wouldn't be without a father."

Sara shook her head no. "He's not here physically. But our baby will know Nick. There is no doubt in my mind. His family will tell our baby all about the kind of man he was. Stories about when he was a kid. And they'll have you too," she smiled. "I meant what I said. You guys are all my family. Nick's too. I couldn't just up and leave, cutting you all out of my life. I need you guys too much."

Grissom smiled at her. "I admire you, Sara." He noticed a confused look grace her features. "You've stayed strong. Your life is headed on a path that no one should ever be on -- facing being a mother without the babys father. And you're handling it so well. Nick was a lucky man."

"I'm a lucky woman," her chin quivered. "For almost a year, I was the luckiest. And now, even without him besides me, he's given me the greatest gift he could've," her hand found her stomach. "Nick was the person that I never knew I needed," she admitted. She looked up at him, her gaze holding his. "Did you ever have someone like that in your life?"

He looked down into her brown eyes. An ironic smile played on his lips. "Yes, but I made a huge mistake. I waited until it was too late." And he knew he had. Even though he hadn't found out about the relationship until after it had ended far too soon, he hadn't been blind. He'd noticed the subtle changes in both of them in the few short months that they had been together. And he'd always secretly hoped that it had been him, something that he'd done, that had put that smile on her face. But he always knew that he wasn't.

"If she's still here, Gris," Sara said quietly, "it's not too late. Take a chance."

Grissom leaned down and placed a kiss on her cheek, much the same as Warrick and Greg had done. "Take care, Sara," he whispered, then turned around silently and walked out the door, not bothering to look back. He was ready to cry himself. Sara was encouraging him to go after her. But he knew that she didn't believe that he'd been speaking of her. If he thought he had a chance at love with her, after everything that she'd been through - that they'd been through, he would've taken that chance. But he knew that she wasn't ready. And even when that time rolled around, he wouldn't be the man to fill the void in her heart. He could try to be, but he'd always be second choice. And playing second to a ghost was just not a role that Grissom felt he was suited for.

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_30 thousand feet in the air, somewhere over Arizona_

Greg was bored out of his mind. No one was in a chatty mood, and the movie selection had been horrendous. When he'd tried to turn on some music, three evil stares had shot him down and he realized that no one was interested in listening to his brand of entertainment.

Catherine was on the phone, quietly talking to Lindsay about something. Grissom was reading an Entomology book that he'd brought with him, completely engrossed in the facts. Warrick was sitting on one of the plush leather seats, a glass of Brandy in his hand as he stared down at the desert beneath them. He slowly took a drink of the amber liquid, letting the warmth wash over his throat as its subtle burn worked its way down his throat.

"What're you thinking?" Greg asked, plopping down on the opposite side of the couch. He glanced out the window at the desolate landscape.

"Sara. Nick. The baby," he shrugged. He took another sip of the liquor. He smirked bitterly. "We're supposed to be the best, right?" Though his question was rhetorical, his eyes pierced Gregs. "So, if that's the case, why couldn't we find him in time?"

Greg sighed, scratching the back of his head. "I don't know man. But people say things happen for a reason."

"Yeah, well that's bull shit. Nick was a good guy. And he didn't deserve to go out like that. He deserved to be happy. He deserved to be with Sara, and watch his baby grow and come into the world. Sara's deserved better than this too. So much shitty stuff has happened to her and just when she found a sliver of happiness, it was yanked away from her. And now she has a baby to raise on her own. None of this is fair."

"As much as I want to have someone to blame -"

"We do," Warrick's jaw was set. "Kelly Gordon had a damn good idea of where he was. I'm going to make sure that bitch pays if it's the last thing I do."

Greg looked into Warrick's determined eyes, knowing that his decision had been made. "She won't get away with it," Greg assured him.

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Sylvia Mullins entered her house after her morning jog. She grabbed a couple of bottles of water from the fridge, placing one on a dining tray and opening the other, taking a long swig of the cold liquid to quench her burning throat. Moving around her kitchen, she grabbed various pieces of fruit and toasted a bagel, liberally spreading strawberry cream cheese over the top.

Feeling generous, she placed the mornings newspaper on the tray beside the food.

"You might not like being here," she said quietly as she poured a glass of orange juice, "but that doesn't mean I want you to suffer."

She did genuinely feel bad for the man. He'd done nothing wrong. Walter had simply been out for revenge and she'd unwittingly gotten mixed up in it. Having fallen in love with the man, she was blinded to his demons and not noticed his strange behavior. He'd purchased the house for them, putting it in her name, telling her it was for safetys sake. He said that he loved her and that if anything had ever happened to him, he wanted to know that she was taken care of. That should've been her first clue . . . And there was no documentation that he even lived at the address, which had also been the reason why no cops had come around the house with a search warrant . . . .

After they'd moved in, she'd always felt it to be odd that Walter would just disappear for hours on end. She never knew what he was doing, but his car was always home. He hadn't been one to take a leisurely stroll, so it always had perplexed her. But again, she hadn't thought much of it. She trusted him with her life and knew that he would never hurt her. Making a precautionary provision for her 'just in case' had left her feeling quite confident that he wasn't a straying man. But one day, she'd been gathering towels to put in the laundry from one of the main floors bathrooms when she'd seen him discreetly shimy up to a painting on the wall, touch the frame and the wall open up just enough for him to slip through.

Terrified and angered that there was a secret room that she'd known nothing about, she'd tossed the laundry onto the floor and followed him without a second thought. The wall had opened up to a stair case and she'd quietly padded down them into the cold room that had no natural sun light and smelt of concrete powder.

_Flashback_

_"Walter!" she shrieked, horrified at seeing a nearly built cage sitting to the side of the room. "What the hell is all this?!" she demanded._

_He looked at her her. "You weren't supposed to see this."_

_"Is this what I think it is?" When he didn't answer, she knew she was right. "Tell me what all this is about right now!"_

_He'd explained to her about his daughter and how she'd been wrongfully accused of murder. All she'd truly been guilty of was being at the wrong place at the wrong time because she'd trusted the wrong people._

_  
"And so you want revenge?" she gasped. "This is not you, Walter, This is not the man that I've fallen in love with. We can appeal the courts decision and -"_

_"I already have!" he yelled, anger boiling inside of him. "They won't listen to reason."_

_"Well plotting to take someone -"_

_"Not just anyone -- someone from law enforcement," he clarified._

_"Well, it's not right, and it's downright risky. And stupid!" She paced back and forth. "You'll get caught, or someone will wind up dead. Either way, I'll loose you. And I can't loose you, Walter. I just can't. After I lost Jack, my life fell apart. I can't go through that again! I just can't!" she cried._

_He didn't know what to do so he just leaned forward and took her into his embrace. He kissed the side of her head as she sobbed._

_  
"Promise me that you won't do anything with this!" she wailed. "Promise me that you won't bring someone into our home against their will."_

_He nodded his head. "I won't," he promised, but silently vowed to find another way to get his revenge. Someway where his dear Sylvia would not pay the price._

_End flashback_

She'd figured out what was going on and had tried to stop it, but Walter had already set the ball in motion. It had been too late to turn back the clock. She'd pleaded with him, but he was too far gone to listen to her. She'd searched his private records and documentation in his home office, breaking codes to gain password information . . . when she'd figured out where Nick was being hidden, she'd had to come up with a plan -- and quickly.

She wanted to let him go, but at the last minute, had had a panic attack and freaked out, terrified that she'd somehow be punished for something that hadn't been her idea. She now realized that allowing her panic to fuel her decisions had been the worst decision she'd made. Not wanting to be thrown in jail, she made a phone call to an old class mate whom she knew was willing to do anything, including be a contract killer, if the price was right.

When he'd found out what she needed, his immediate price at been $200,000 cash, but since he had a small job, hers would have to wait until morning. Knowing that the man in the box didn't have that much time, she'd offered up $300,000 if he'd do it immediately. He agreed.

She'd raced over to the bank, and talked the branch manager into giving her $300,000 immediately. It had taken a little bit of finess, but they knew her and Walter quite well and being the respected and wealthy clients that they were, they'd handed the money over to her without much fuss.

Having half the payment up front, the two raced to Connors Nursery. Though muffled, the two heard a gun shot coming from under them. She'd sent a silent prayer up to the heavens, praying that they weren't too late. Being cautious, she pumped sleeping gas into the pipe that fed air to the glass box, hoping that she'd give the man enough to knock him out, but not enough to seriously harm him. While she was doing that, her hired man cut the live feed to the video, which caused the Crime Lab to loose the image of Nick, alive and well, but getting sleepier by the minute. Then they proceeded to dig the loosened soil up from around the area.

Luckily for the two them, he was a bomb expert and managed to disengage the explosive in order to pull Nick out of the coffin and into the back of her SUV, tieing his hands and legs and then gaging him, just in case he woke up. Just as they were about to leave the Nursery, he'd re-engaged the bomb, then detonated it.

As quickly and discreetly as possible, the two jumped back into the SUV and slowly drove back towards Las Vegas, passing the police convoy as it headed to the Nursery in search of the man in the back of her truck.

Sylvia slowly crept down the stairs and could hear the soft crooning of country music. While she hated it, she didn't want to complain. It was one of the few outlets of entertainment that she'd given him, and she didn't have the heart to take it away. As much as she wanted to send him back to the people that loved him, the risk for herself was just too high.

Turning the corner, breakfast tray in hand, her eyes widened in shock. She dropped the tray, the glass of orange juice and breakfast plate shattering as it hit the cement . . . gasping, she breathed, "oh my God."

TBC . . . .


	14. Chapter 14

Yay for the reviews again:) I really do appreciate you taking the time to let me know your thoughts. It's so gratifying. I have to apologize for not being able to update more frequently. Originally, I had said that I was going to write shorter chapters to update more often, but it seems as though I am not capable of shorter chapters, there for my updates will be once a week at a minimum. I'm hoping to be able to do more, but I can't make any promises. Thanks for understanding.

I disclaim . . .

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"You ready to be released?" Doctor Brenner smiled at Sara.

She smiled in return, nodding her head vigorously. "Absolutely."

"Good," she smiled. "Just remember to keep calm, and keep to the routine of bed rest OK? At least for the first week. After that, we'll reassess how you're doing and go from there, alright?"

Sara nodded her head in affirmation.

"Before I sign the final papers of your release," she said, "I want to do a little more of an indepth ultrasound. Just to discover how far along you really are, and make sure that this little one isn't in any distress."

"Sounds good," she smiled tightly, suddenly worried that there would now be something wrong with the baby.

Doctor Brenner slid the ultrasound machine closer to her, it's casters moving with ease across the waxed floor.

Sara slowly lowered the thin sheet to her hips and shimmed the paper gown up, resting it just beneath her breasts. The cold conducting gel was squirted from the bottle and hit her warm skin, causing her to take a sharp intake of air.

As she watched, as if in slow motion, the doctors movements, she silently cursed herself for telling Bill and Jillian she'd be out in a minute. They'd given her and Doctor Brenner privacy, which she was grateful for to some degree. But now she was wishing that Jillian was there with her, holding her hand. What if it was bad news?

She felt the wand against her stomach and saw the monitor flipped on and the audio turned up. She could hear the rapid heart beat and smiled, sighing with relief.

Doctor Brenner had a smile tugging on her lips as well. "All looks normal. Very normal in fact." She turned to Sara for a second before glancing down at the patient chart infront of her. She scanned some of the routine question and answers that Sara had been asked, and looked at the monitor again. "From the looks of it, I'd say you're just a little farther along than you thought . . ."

Sara looked taken aback. "How much farther along?"

"Well, you'd mentioned speaking with a doctor in Arizona the morning after you'd taken the test and said she told you that you were about six weeks, is that correct?"

Sara nodded her head. "Last week. That's what she said."

"Well, I think you're more around nine weeks now. So she was off by just a bit. Not a lot, mind you," she smiled at Sara. "Based on what I see, I'd say your due date will be around the New Year. Probably late December or early January."

"Wow," she breathed . . . she smiled. "It was real before, but now . . ."

"It doesn't feel like a dream anymore?" she offered.

Sara smiled. "Exactly."

Dr. Brenner turned off the monitor and smiled again. "It's official. I'm discharging you. I don't anticipate any problems from here on out, but if there are, don't hesitate to come in and get checked out, alright?"

Sara smiled. "Thanks."

She stood up to leave. "I'll give you some privacy to get changed. I'll send a nurse in with a wheelchair, OK?"

Once again, she nodded her head and absently watched as Doctor Brenner exitted the room. She felt herself gently stroking her abdominal skin. "You ready to get out of here, baby?" she asked. "Of course you are," she answered for him or her. "Lets go."

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Sara arrived back to the Stokes ranch about an hour after being discharged. When she walked through the front door, Nick's sister Nicole greeted her with a warm hug. "I'm so glad that you and the baby are OK," she whispered.

"Thanks," Sara smiled, hugging the woman back. She was surprised at how quickly she was getting accustomed to hugging this family. And she was even more surprised that she was enjoying it. Being accepted was always one of her fears, and the fact that these people were literally welcoming her with open arms put her fears to rest. "Where are Jacob and the kids?" she asked as she pulled out of the hug.

"I told Jacob he was occupying the kids time this morning," she smiled. "They're back at home playing with Sparky. He's really livened up since he saw you you know."

Sara smiled as she made her way over to the couch. When she sat down, Bill immediately entered the room and gave her a reprimanding look. "Doctors orders, young lady. Bed rest."

Sara knew he meant well, so she brought her legs up on the couch and reclinded into a relaxing position. "I'll go up in a few minutes, I promise."

Bill sighed and nodded his head. "Alright. But just a few minutes, deal?"

"Yes sir," Sara smirked, saluting him.

Bill broke out into a huge grin and walked away chuckling, leaving Sara and Nicole to talk quietly.

"So are you sure you're OK?" she asked quietly, looking Sara over carefully for signs of discomfort.

"Yeah, perfect," she smiled. "I saw the baby," her smile grew even larger. She didn't know a smile that large was even possible. She leaned over carefully to grab her purse, which she'd sat down beside her, and quickly sifted through the contents looking for the picture. She grabbed it, handing it off to Nicole.

"She's beautiful," Nicole commented, tears welling up in her eyes.

"She?" Sara questioned. "Are you psychic?" Her voice had a hint of humor in it.

Nicole smiled a little, scruntching up her nose. "Sorry. I have a tendency of doing that."

"You think it's a girl?" Sara asked.

"You don't?" she threw back good naturedly.

"Honestly? I have no idea," she laughed softly. "As they are healthy and happy, I'll be happy. But when I let myself think about whether it's a boy or girl, I realize that I don't know the first thing about raising a son. But then I remember that I have no idea how to raise a daughter either."

Nicole laughed heartily. "I remember that feeling. But trust me -- even growing up around big families and lots of babies -- it doesn't prepare you completely for when they are your own."

Sara's smile faultered a little. "I'll figure it out, though, right?" She looked at Nicole for some reassurance.

Nicole nodded her head. "Without a doubt. And you have a big support system and built in babysitters when your a Stokes." She paused for a minute. "And believe me Sara, even though you and Nick weren't married in the eyes of God, we still think of you as family. We never saw the two of you together, but it's easy to see how much you loved him. And having met you, I know that Nicky must've fallen in love right away."

Tears immediately formed in Sara's eyes and they pooled down her cheeks. She laughed, groaning a little in embarassment. "I have never cried so much in my life!"

Again, Nicole laughed. "Damn hormones!"

The two talked for a few more minutes before Sara yawned and realized that she needed to get some more sleep. Nicole promised that she'd stop by in the next few days with movies and popcorn and bring her sisters and sister in law with her. They'd set up a movie night in Sara's room so she'd have some contact and maybe a few laughs.

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"Oh . . . My . . . God," Sylvia whispered as she looked around the cage. "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED IN HERE?" She demanded.

He sat there, looking pale and defeated. He just didn't care anymore if she knew she had the upper hand. He couldn't pretend. It was too exhausting. And even if he was a good actor, which he wasn't, he knew she could see straight through him.

"You could have hurt yourself!" she admonished him reaching over and grabbing the broom that was resting against the wall oppose Nick's cage. She quickly went to work sweeping up the broken glass that had shattered when the tray she'd been holding hit the floor.

Nick shrugged. "Would it really matter? No one knows I'm down here except you and your thug." He heaved a heavy sigh, running a tired hand over the stuble that was growing each day. He hated not shaving, but she never gave him a razor.

"Do you really hate it here that much?" she asked him, glancing up into his hollowed eyes. When she'd first come in contact with him, she'd seen spirit behind his orbs. Fighting spirit. Now it was gone. "So much that you'd do this?"

"This?" he laughed humorlessly. "This is nothing," he informed her. "You know I considered ending it all."

"You want to kill yourself?" she stopped moving around, looking up straight at him. "Why would you want to do that?"

"I'm not exactly living here, now am I?" he asked rhetorically and sarcastically.

She knew she couldn't deny him that. "Why didn't you?"

His jaw tightened and tears formed in his eyes. "When I was buried in that damned box, I thought I was going to die. And I didn't want too. It scared me. There were so many things that I had left unsaid." He glanced back at the stack of writing tablets. "Its all there in ink now, but the people who need to know those things will never see them. I'll never get to tell them what I think they need to hear."

Sylvia bit her lip in an effort to not cry. "Put your hands through the bars," she said.

Nick did as he was told. This wasn't the first time she'd asked him to do this. Rather than fighting her on it, he had made his decision to try and befriend her . . . gain her trust somehow. "I know you don't want me here, Sylvia," he swallowed, feeling the cold metal cuffs tightening around his wrists, binding him to the iron bars of the cage. "Just let me go."

She looked away from him, avoiding his gaze by keeping her eyes firmly fixed on the cement floor. "You know I can't do that Nicholas."

"Why not?" he asked. When she didn't answer, he continued. "These last few weeks I've realized something about you. You're not a bad woman. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time. And though I think your loyalty to Walter Gordon is misplaced - I mean, he was obviously a deranged man - I admire you for it. And I can even relate to it."

Sylvia picked up some of the broken pieces of the lamp and then tossed them into the trash can. "Really?" she questioned, still not looking at him and sounding like she wasn't convinced. She moved the box spring back into place on the bed frame then struggled slightly moving the mattress back on top.

"Really," he nodded. "You loved Walter so much. And even though you knew what he was doing was wrong, you tried to protect him. Even if you made some mistakes along the way. My Sara," his voice caught, "I love her like that. If she did something, I'd be there to help her hide it so she wouldn't get in trouble. She is my world."

Sylvia finally looked up at Nick, tears glistening in her eyes. "Walter was my world too."

Nick sighed in relief. Maybe he was getting through to her after all . . . . "You could give me back my world."

"I want too . . ." she admitted.

"Then do it. Let me go," he begged.

She picked up some of the linens and as she re-made the bed, she seemed to be considering it.

"I'll help you," Nick encouraged her. "I know that you are scared about what is going to happen to you because of all this, but I will make sure that they understand, OK?"

Slyvia's eyes found Nick's once again. "Tell me about her."

"Sara?" he asked. When she nodded, a wistful look came over his face.

Slyvia noticed the sparkle return to his eye as he allowed himself to remember the woman whom he said he loved.

"She's incredible. She's passionate. We've had a few disagreements because of her passion, believe me," he smiled at her. "But I love her because of it. I hope she hasn't lost it," he said quietly. "She's so caring. And as much as she doesn't trust people, once your in, your in for life. She'd do anything for her friends. A lot has happened in our group of friends at work. A lot that I needed help getting through. I think Sara understood that. She was always there for me. Never made me say anything. We'd just sit in silence and I realized that I wasn't alone in the world."

"Until now," Sylvia whispered.

"It doesn't have to stay that way," he urged her. "You can let me go."

"No, I can't," she shook her head, but Nick wasn't buying into.

"I will tell them what happened. I will make them understand. That you were in the wrong place at the wrong time."

She shook her head violently. "If I'd let you go at the very beginning, it would have worked. But I panicked."

"Yes, you did. It's normal to panic. It wasn't fair that you were put in a position like that. What matters it that you realize it, you're sorry for it and that you're correcting it. I have connections, Sylvia. I can get you out of this."

She walked out of the cage, shutting and locking the door tightly behind her. "No, you can't, Nick."

"Of course I can."

"The entire LVPD will be out for blood. My blood. So will CSI. And your parents! For Christ sake, your Dad is a judge and your mother is the DA of Dallas!"

"Lets talk about this!" he pleaded.

She disappeared behind a corner and heaved a large object into her arms. "I upgraded my TV upstairs," she said acting as if they'd just discussed the weather. She placed the older unit on a chair and then plugged it into an electrical outlet. "I thought you might like it." She screwed in a cable line. "Basic cable is all I have. But since you haven't had this luxury for a while, I thought you might enjoy it. If you don't like TV, don't feel obligated to watch, OK?" she said, fishing the key out of her pocket and undoing the handcuffs.

"Sylvia," he tried again, but she waved him off.

"I'm going to go grab some bottled water and cookies from upstairs from you. I don't have time to remake your breakfast now, so it'll have to do for today. I'll try to grab a pizza or something on my way back from work tonight. Pepperoni alright?" she walked over the TV and grabbed the remote which was sitting on the top. She handed it to Nick through the bars. "New batteries are in it. They should last for a while."

Nick watched as she exitted the room quickly and without turning back.

He could feel that she was slowly starting to crumble. She didn't like his being there anymore than he did.

He dug into the pocket of his jeans, pulling out a large left over shard from the lamp that she hadn't found and taken out of the cage.

"I have to figure out a way to get out of here," he said to himself, turning on the television with the remote.

Gentle sounds of voices filtered through the set and inwardly, his heart clenched. The news had a small piece on one of the recent crimes and he could clearly see Grissom and Catherine working behind the yellow tape. The footage was obviously a couple of days old as a small caption on the bottom of the screen said as much . . .

"Where are you Sara?" he asked the television as he scanned the crowd of people, quickly able to spot Brass, Warrick and Greg. A strange sensation settled in the pit of his stomach when he realized that Sara was no where to be found . . .

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"We made a beautiful baby," he whispered into her ear as he snuggled up behind her, spooning her.

His hand was resting on her abdomen and her hand rested on top of his, gently stroking the smooth skin.

She smiled happily. "So you're good with this? Being a father? Being tied to me for the rest of your life?"

He gently propped himself up on his elbow behind her and removed his hand from her stomach, bringing it up to her face. He gingerly turned her head towards him so he could gaze into her eyes. "I'm more than good with it. I'm thrilled, Sara. I love you so much," he leaned down and captured her lips with his.

"I love you too, Nick," she murmured into the kiss as she turned her body into his so they were pressed firmly against one another.

The mind numbing kiss came to an abrupt hault when both needed air.

"Wow," she giggled.

He smirked down at her before placing one more kiss on her soft lips. "Mm hmm," he mumbled, agreeing.

"I never want this to end," she stated, her eyes shining up at him.

"It doesn't have too," he told her, untangling himself from her arms and standing up.

"Where are you going?" she suddenly asked him, starting to panic.

"Stay calm, honey," he urged, slowly taking a few steps back from the bed and towards the window. "I won't be gone forever."

"Where are you going?" she pleaded again, her heart constricting tightly. "Please don't leave me, Nicky."

"Fight for me, Sar. Fight for us," he told her before his body walked through the wall of the bedroom and out of her line of vision.

"NICK!" Sara yelled, sitting straight up in bed. She looked around the darkened room, the window open just far enough to let a gentle breeze caress her skin.

A tear slipped down her cheek. The dream had been so real. She could feel the way her skin burned when he touched her so gently. The way her lips tingled and felt swollen . . . She laid back down against the plush pillows that were on the bed, her hand finding the spot beside her where Nick had been in the dream. Though it wasn't warm, the sheets were slightly rumpled. Like someone had been laying there with her . . .

She reached over to the nightstand and grabbed the CD remote and turned the player on, picking up where it had left off the last time she'd been listening to it. Her chin quivered as she heard Nick's soft but strong voice filtered through the room. The tears came faster now.

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_Come a little closer baby_

_I feel like layin' you down_

_On a bed of sweet surrender_

_Where we can work it all out_

_There ain't nothin' that love can't fix_

_Girl it's right here at our finger tips_

_So come a little closer baby_

_I feel like layin' you down_

_Come a little closer baby_

_I feel like lettin' go_

_Of everything that stand between us_

_And the love we used to know_

_I wanna touch you like a cleaning rain_

_And let it wash all your hurt away_

_So come a little closer baby_

_I feel like lettin' go_

_If there's still a chance than take my hand_

_And we'll steal away_

_Off into the night_

_Until we make things right_

_The sun's gonna rise, on a better day_

_Come a little closer baby I feel like strippin' it down_

_Back to the basics of you and me and what makes the world go round_

_Every inch of you against my skin_

_I wanna be stronger than we've ever been_

_So come a little closer baby_

_I feel like strippin' it down_

_Come a little closer baby_

_Just a little bit closer baby_

_Come a little closer baby_

_I feel like layin' you down_

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Nick sighed as he lay on the bed, staring up at the grey ceiling, listening to Dierks Bentley's song finishing on the radio and remembering how he'd recorded if for Sara . . . that wasn't helping him . . .

The days and nights in the cage were excruciatingly long. He just hoped and prayed that each day, he was getting closer to going home . . . but the hope that he held inside was almost burnt out.

Laying in bed, waiting for sleep to claim him was always the hardest part of the day though. He'd just think of how used to lay there, with her in his arms, and together, they would fall asleep into blissful dreams. The smell of her shampoo, the feel of her skin.

He felt like such a selfish bastard, hoping that she'd never forget him or the love that they shared. On one hand, he couldn't stand the idea of her moving on and finding someone else . . . not that he felt like she had moved on already. He knew that she hadn't. He couldn't explain it, but he just knew. He hadn't been gone long, and it wasn't like Sara to just forget something like the bond that they shared. But on the other hand, he was letting himself start to believe that this dark cold room would be his home until the end of his time. And if that was the case, as much as it hurt him to even think about, he didn't want her to be alone. He wanted her to be happy. Even if that meant he'd be crushed.

"At least I wouldn't be there to see it for myself," he mused quietly. He sat up and hit the new plastic touch light that Sylvia had bought for him at a dollar store on the way home. A gentle glow illuminated the space around him and he picked up the newspaper picture of Sara, holding it carefully in his palm, desperate to not crease the photo, preserving it for as long as he could . . . he looked down at her face, able to see in the inner turmoil she'd been feeling at his memorial.

She needed him. And he needed her.

"I love you," he whispered to the photo for what seemed like the millionth time over the last few weeks. Her picture became distorded as his vision blurred by a torrent of tears. He heavily sobbed in dispair. "I love you, Sara. I love you."

It was hours later that he fell into an exhausted and fit full sleep, filled with nightmares that Sara was moving on with her life. Without him.

TBC . . . .

A/N: OK, I know it seems like Nick is all over the place -- confident that he's getting though to Sylvia and then discouraged that he'll never get out. But that's what I want. He has moments of hope, and moments of dispair. I think that's what would actually happen if I were in that situation myself knock on wood.

And I felt it was time to let you all off the hook and find out that yes, Nick is still alive . . . :) I'm evil, I know.

Read and reply, please:)


	15. Chapter 15

Thanks so much everyone. I am thrilled that this story is continuing to entertain you all. I love the feedback, so please keep 'em coming:)

I disclaim . . . . .

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Nick stared at the tv with contempt. He loved the heat. Perhaps it had something to do with growing up in Texas, and then living in Vegas. He'd never lived in a typically cold climate. Sure, even the warm places at colder days -- but he loved the sweltering heat. He lived for it. Or used too.

"Don't worry, Nicky," Sylvia smiled sympathetically. "You're not missing anything wonderful. That heat is no fun at all."

The weather had been steadily rising past the one hundred degree mark every day for nearly a week, with no signs of stopping.

"I suppose I should be grateful," he said through a tight jaw, eyeing her closely. His voice held no sarcasm, or mallice.

Sylvia looked down at the floor, sighing. "I know this isn't where you want to be, Nick. And as much as you say that you'd help get me out of this, I just can't take the risk."

"So what?!" he snapped. "You're life is more important than mine? You have no problem inflicting pain on me? Someone whose never done anything to you? How about my family? My friends? They all think I'm dead. And I'm not!"

"I'm doing the best that I can!" she yelled back. "I wish that this would just be over. I wish that I hadn't gotten involved. That I just done what I should've from the start. But it's not the easy."

Nick noticed that she was wearing a gold necklace. A cross.

"God punishes sinners," he stated. "I truly believe that. I spent years as a CSI. I saw people on the worse days of their lives. I saw the pain that was not only inflicted upon the victim, but the pain that those who were close to them had to go through. And no one person should ever be able to create so much havoc. I'm not particularly religious -- but I have to believe that anyone who inflicts pain on another human being willingly, knowing that they shouldn't, and when they have an opportunity to change it, but don't . . . I believe that they'll get an eternal seat in hell."

Sylvia's eyes closed shut tightly, tears welling up. "I deserve that," she breathed, trying to not let her emotions fly. "I know I do." She grasped at the necklace. She took a deep breath to compose herself. "I'm going to bring in a couple of bottles of water for you to put in your fridge," she decided, setting down her belongings and walking out of the room in search of the bottled water.

"DAMMIT!" Nick yelled, frustrated that Sylvia didn't seem to be any closer to letting him out. He ran his hands through his hair which was growing longer by the day.

Anxiously, he started to pace the small space, biting down on his lip.

Suddenly, an unusual object caught his eye. He came to an abrupt hault, his vision honing in on Sylvia's purse which had been left beside the bars of his cage. Quickly slipping his hand through the bars, he tried to pull the purse inside the cage, but it wouldn't fit. Irritated, but hopeful that he'd found his way out, he quickly began to dig around inside the contents.

"Please, please," he quietly begged, looking for a cell phone or something with which he could contact the outside world with. Becoming fearful that he'd be caught before he could find anything, he dumped the contents of the bag out, sifting through the materials quickly - and finding nothing of value.

"UGH!" he tried to not loose his temper. He'd been doing that a lot lately. And being a normally calm, collected guy, he hated what he was becoming. Frustrated, and on the verge of a break down, he brought his index finger up to his lips and placed it between his teeth, biting down as hard as he could.

After a moment, he realized that if Sylvia believed he was trying to outsmart her, he might damage all the progress that he'd made so far . . . and being that he'd been there now for a few months, he didn't want to take that chance. He quickly piled all of the purse contents from the floor back into the over priced, over sized bag.

Suddenly, his mind processed the fabric that was caressing the back of his hand . . . it was silk. And it was a cream color . . .

Quickly, he stood up and went over to the bed, lifting up a corner of the mattress and pulling out the shard of glass from the lamp that he'd broken weeks before. Carefully eyeing it, he made the decision that he had to try. At this point, he had nothing to loose. If no one ever found it, at least he'd have given it a try. Bringing the sharp piece of material up to his calloused hand, he swiped at the skin, flinching as the shard burned through his flesh. Warm blood immediately started to pool out of his skin and into the palm of his hand.

When he heard her coming down the stairs, he raced over to the bag, and dove his hand inside the purse, creating a quick path to the bottom, pressing his hand firmly against the fabric. Withdrawing his hand just as quickly, he silently hoped that someone would notice it -- though it was unlikely.

As her steps got closer, and louder, he sprinted across the cage and laid down on the bed, his eyes firmly fixed on the ceiling. He couldn't look at her. He feared that she'd figure it out if she saw his eyes.

"Here you go," she announced her presense by setting the bottled water, which would fit through the bars of the cage easily, down on the floor. "It's already been in the fridge upstairs, but you should but at least a couple in yours down here," she told him.

Getting no response, she sighed. Looking over, she noticed her purse. "Hmm," she mused quietly. "I didn't realize I left this."

"Left what?" Nick asked, knowing full well what she was talking about. He didn't both to look over at her.

She glanced over at Nick before grabbing for her purse. "My bag," she shrugged. "Oh well." It wasn't like she had her cell phone or any other means of communication in there. "I'm going to work. I'll be late tonight. I bought a couple of sandwiches at the deli yesterday," she added. "I put them with the water. They really should go in the fridge so the meat doesn't spoil."

Nick scoffed slightly. The room was dark, and cool. No natural sunlight. The only reason why he knew that it was summer and hot temperatures out there was because of the news. If it weren't for the TV, he'd have no way of knowing what was going on in the outside world -- except for the occassional newspaper that Sylvia brought him.

Upon getting no further response, she looked down at the floor as she headed back towards the stairs to go upstairs. "I guess I'll see you later," she sighed and left the room.

Once he heard the wall firmly lock into place, securing that he was indeed locked up tight in the basement, he sat up and glanced around. He looked at his hand -- which was still bleeding, but thankfully, not as much. He stood up and walked into the small bathroom that was inside the cage. He looked around the small space, sighing. A small five by eight bathroom which had no more than a sink and vanity, toilet and tub/shower combo unit. The only contents the bathroom held were essentials, like toilet paper, a few towels that were laundered frequently, a tooth brush and tooth paste, a hair brush, shampoo . . . and a first aid kit -- sans scissors. He reached down into the small box looking for a band aide.

The bathroom itself had become his place refuge, so to speak. It was the only place where he could truly get an privacy. But even closing the door to the small room, and in essense, closing out Sylvia - was slowly getting to him. He found himself spending more and more time in there -- and every day, the walls seemed to close in just a little more . . . both in the bathroom and in his cell.

Nick feared that he was slowly loosing his mind. "Please, God," he prayed, finding that he'd been doing more of that lately, "let someone find me." If they didn't, he felt that he would go crazy.

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Sara sat on the back deck of the Stokes home, letting the warm evening summer breeze float over her skin. Though it was still quite warm out, it was a definite improvement from the heat that the state offered during the day.

It was now late July. Her stomach was slightly swollen, but easily concealed by a baggy shirt. Only those around her who knew of her condition out tell she was with child.

She fiddled with the hem of Nick's college shirt that she was wearing absently. Though it didn't smell like Nick, she felt like it was hugging her in a way that only he was able too. Although she knew it was crazy -- wearing the shirt made her feel closer to him. Less alone. The entire Stokes family had insisted that she wasn't alone -- but sometimes, she just couldn't help but feel like it . . . .

"Hey Sparky," she smiled as the dog trotted up to her, resting it's head in her lap, requesting a scratch behind the ear. "What're you doing here, huh buddy?"

The dog yawned in answer, but gave her his paw to shake. A few minutes later, the dog tired of standing and laid down directly at her feet. She placed a hand on her abdomen and smiled when she felt a little fluttering inside. Though it wasn't strong enough quite yet to be considered a kick, she still reveled in the fact that it was her child making that momement within her.

_Flashback_

_It was an unusally warm December evening in Vegas and Nick Stokes and Sara Sidle walked calmly through the doors of the hospital, each holding a young child. Sara held a scared little girl close to her chest, the child clinging to her neck for comfort. Large tears rolled down the little girls face. In Nick's arms, a small three month old baby boy nestled against his chest, moving in unpracticed movements in his sleep. His left arm was under the baby's bottom, while large right hand rested over the upper part of the boys back and neck, protecting him from harm._

_The two walked over to check-in and cautious to not jostle the child in her arms, Sara jutted out her hip to the a nurse, showing her her ID badge clipped to her belt. "CSI Sidle and Stokes."_

_"Yes, yes," she smiled slightly, quickly paging for a nurse to come to them. "Child Services called and said that you were bringing them in."_

_Nick nodded in affirmation. "Yes, they're a little backed up tonight."_

_"They said they'll be here in a while," she concluded._

_Sara looked at Nick and rolled her eyes. Though she knew they really only did have the child, or childrens, best interest at heart, sometimes they could take hours to respond to a call. While she didn't want to judge them for the sometimes lack in response time, she couldn't help but be bitter. They were only called in when a childs welfare was on the line. Wasn't that important? _

_A nurse showed up a few minutes later, motioning for both Nick and Sara to follow her up to Pediatrics. The only sound being made was from the little girl in Sara's arms as she tried to regain her breath made shallow by the torrent of tears that had been falling. And Sara's gentle shushing noises, wordlessly telling her it would all be OK._

_The two of them, and Grissom, had been working a case involving a known drug dealer being shot and killed. Part of the investigation had taken them to the drug lords house, so with a warrant in hand, the three CSIs, in two Denali's had made their way to the home followed by Uniforms. Once they got there, Grissom had stayed down stairs while Nick and Sara did a sweep upstairs. She had been the one to make the discovery. A young girls bedroom, which seemingly sat empty._

_Having no clue that the man in question had even been a father, she called Nick - who'd also had no idea about a child, or children, living at the residence. Sara, remembering her own childhood and hiding under the bed in fear, crouched down and peered between the small space of the floor and boxspring. She coaxed the little girl out slowly but surely and finally when she embraced Sara for all she was worth, she mumbled about a baby. Nick thought she'd meant her doll, which was laying on her bed, but she shook her head in a tantrum, her dirty blond curls flying emphatically around her small face. Her lips formed a pout and she pointed to the door across the hall before burrying her head into Sara's shoulders, convinced that the woman who cradled her was going to keep her safe._

_The two CSIs and the small child cradled in Sara's arms walked across the hallway. When Nick's hand grasped the handle, he and Sara shared a nervous glance. Who could leave one child, let alone two, alone in a house? Upon entering the room, a small baby boy lay in the crib, eyes wide open showing the world the most beautiful blue orbs. He fussed in the crib quietly, almost in a demand to be picked up and cradled. So Nick had complied. _

_The four had then made their way back downstairs to meet with Grissom who was shocked at the two new, tiny faces. He'd immediately called Child Services who requested that the CSIs take the children to the hospital until they could send a case worker there themselves. Although irritated, it hadn't been the first time such a request had been made. So, he and one of the officers at the house had went into the garage, and thankfully found a car with the appropriate child restraint seating. Since the car was potentially evidence, Grissom had extracted the safety seats himself, handing them off to the officer to secure in one of the Denali's. Deciding it best that both Nick and Sara stay with the kids, he sent them on their way and called the lab to have another CSI assigned to the case, at least for the moment._

_When the elevator door opened, revealing the Pediatrics wing, the three adults stepped off and a new nurse stepped forward, immediately reaching out to take the child from Sara's arms. Sara glared at the woman for being so callous, trying to rip a child from her arms when the child was obviously scared. _

_"No," the little girl protested, clinging to Sara even tighter. The nurse took a step back and though she didn't apologize for trying to grab the child, she did look rather sorry._

_Sara's heart bled for the little girl. "It's OK, sweetie. This nice lady is going to take into a room and get you cleaned up, OK? Get you some nice and warm, clean clothes."_

_She felt the small childs head leave her shoulder and their eyes met. "You be here when I get back?" she asked timidly, grabbing at some of Sara's loose curls._

_"We're not going anywhere," she promised, placing a quick, comforting kiss on her forehead. "Promise."_

_Even though she was still hesitant, the little girl allowed herself to be removed from Sara's arms. The nurse placed her on her hip and started to walk down the hall, but the little girl just watched them until they were out of sight._

_Sara sighed heavily and sat down on one of the waiting room chairs. Nick followed suit, the baby in his arms still sleeping soundly and now sucking his thumb. "Poor kids," he commented. _

_Sara smiled a little and reached out to touch the infants back. "Yeah," she agreed. Soon, the nurse returned and took the baby out of Nick's arm._

_The two sat in a comfortable silence, both waiting for word on either child. Nick had motioned to his pager and she had nodded, acknowledging that Nick was going to call Grissom for a minute. Shortly before he returned, the nurse once again returned and placed the now awake baby in Sara's arms. He'd been redressed in a clean jumper and had his diaper changed. She craddled him in her arms, watching him carefully and with a wondering eye as she fed him the bottle of formula that the nurse had handed off to her. _

_"He's in perfect health," the nurse offered before walking off._

_When Nick returned, he sat down beside them. "You look good with kids, you know," he said. It wasn't a comment aimed to make her feel pressure, or to give her any ideas of where he thought their relationship may have been going. It was just an honest observation. _

_Sara smiled. "Funny. I was just thinking you do too." He smiled back at her, chuckling softly and leaned over, placing a gentle kiss to her lips, careful of the eating baby between them._

_After a few more minutes of silence, the little girl reappeared. Her clothes had been changed, her face cleaned, and her hair had been washed and combed. She looked like a happy little girl from a good home. The only thing that betrayed her was the distant look in her eye. "She's fine physically," the doctor offered them. "Emotionally is another story. I will give the full report to the Child Services worker when they arrive. Any idea on when that'll be?"_

_"I just talked to our boss," Nick answered as he bent down and picked up the little gil this time. She didn't seem to be shying away from him, which he took as a good sign. "They're still backed up and will probably be a few hours."_

_"I wish that you could stay here, but -"_

_"It's alright," Nick answered. "I've cleared it with our boss. We can watch them until a worker can get then."_

_The doctor nodded in understanding and bid them goodbye._

_"So, how would you feel about McDonalds?" Nick asked the little girl. Her eyes lit up like it was Christmas morning. _

_"Can I get a Happy Meal?" she asked timidly._

_"You bet," he answered as the four made their way from the hospital._

_Sara smiled as she watched Nick tickle the young girls stomach causing her to giggle and smile happily._

_Once at McDonald's, the little girl ran towards the play area, which was surprisingly vacant. After telling her that she could only play for a few minutes until the food was ready, Sara settled herself in at the counter, facing the window that looked into the play room, holding the baby in her arms. It was only a few minutes later when Nick found her, a tray in hand. Two burgers, one for him and the little girl, and fries for all three, and a salad for Sara. The baby was almost lulled to sleep by the quiet but steady sounds in the restaurant. Rather than risking waking him up, Nick had said that he'd retrieve the little girl from the play room. She smiled as she watched Nick playfully chasing after the little girl who was giggling the entire time._

_"You have a beautiful family," an elderly woman commented as she and her husband headed towards the exit. _

_Sara smiled at the woman, and although she was going to correct her that it wasn't her family, she would then feel compelled to explain the situation. And it wasn't needed. Instead, her smile widened as she turned to look at Nick who was happily throwing the little girl over his shoulder and chanting something, probably, "eat, eat, eat."_

_"Thank you," she smiled, finally responding. _

_"You and your husband are very blessed. Two beautiful children. Happy and healthy. Hang on to that."_

_Sara sat in stunned silence as the couple made their way out of the establishment. She wasn't stunned by the words that the woman had offered her. Obviously she'd assumed that the kids were hers and Nick, and that they were married and a family . . . she was stunned because she found herself not minding that someone thought that. And even more stunned that it didn't scare her like she thought it would._

_End flashback_

She stared at the gently rippling water in the pool as the breeze caressed the surface, a slight smile tugging at her lips. "You've got energy tonight, huh kid?" she asked her tummy, chuckling softly. "You gonna let mommy get any sleep?" she continued on. For the last week or so, she'd felt the sensations. No one else had been able to feel what she was feeling, but it was so sensational that everytime it happened, she stopped what she was doing. If it happened when she was asleep, or just about, she'd wake right up . . .

The ringing phone brought her out of her reverie.

Clearing her throat, she answered, "Hello?"

"Sara?" his voice was deep and strong.

She smiled. "Yeah. Hi. It's good to hear your voice."

"Miss me that much, huh?" he chuckled.

"You know I do," she sighed.

"So what's going on?"

"Not much. I've got the house to myself tonight. It's kind of odd. It's so quiet. Normally there are tons of people around. I don't think I've been able to hear myself think like this in a long time," she smiled a little.

"Don't get too used to it," he countered. "Once that baby makes their appearance, you won't be able to hear yourself think for 18 years."

She laughed. "I'll take that under advisement," she jested.

He chuckled. "So, how are you? I mean, how are you really, Sara?"

She could hear the concern in his voice. "I'm doing good," she answered. It wasn't a complete lie. She had moments now where she was able to think of Nick and not burst out crying, though those moments were still few and far between. "I still can't feel it though."

"What?" he asked suddenly. "The baby? Sara, you know that will take a little bit of time. The doctor said everything is good, right? Wait, nothing has happened, has it?"

She smiled at his concern. "No Warrick, nothing has happened. The baby and I are fine. Actually, though, I can feel it. No one else can yet, but I can feel it moving around in there."

His smile widened and he let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "Good."

"I still don't feel like Nick is gone though," she said quietly. "It's like he's on an extended holiday. There was no finality to it."

"Sar -" he tried, but she cut him off.

"I know I sound like a broken record, Warrick, but I just can't make it real. And I don't want too."

"I understand," he told her. Though he couldn't quite put his finger on it, he knew that something was off with the whole thing. He just didn't know what. And he didn't want to say anything to upset Sara. Sure she had a right to know that they were looking into a few things that pertained to Nick's case, but as of right now, there was nothing solid to give her. It broke his heart when he heard her sniffling. He decided to change the subject. "You know, you should considering coming back to Vegas for a couple of days at the end of August. Ecklie is holding the company summer end party a little early this year. I guess some of the parents who work in the lab, Cath included, decided that their kids needed to be able to join in on the festivities as well."

"I'm not exactly a member of the team anymore -"

"It's only temporary, Sara. I truly believe that. And besides, whether or not you are currently working as a member of our team, you'll always be a part of it. Whether you like it or not," he smiled.

"Thanks Warrick," she sighed. "I really needed to talk to someone tonight. And I'm glad it was you." She cleared her throat. "So, how're you doing? Everyone else?"

"We're all good. The heat is sweltering, like always," he informed her. "Crime is at an all time high this summer. Feels like we're all working over time. Go home exhausted . . . . I actually just wrapped a case with Cath and we're waiting for our next assignment." He looked up and noticed Catherine stopping in the door way. He spoke into the phone, "speaking of next assignments," he held the reciever away from his mouth, "you got one?"

She nodded. "Whose that?" she pointed to the phone.

"It's Sara," Warrick informed her.

"Hi Cath," Sara said into the phone.

Warrick smiled at Cath. "Sara says hi."

"Hi, Sara," she called back but she shook her head no when Warrick held out his phone for her to take to talk to Sara. "I'll call her tomorrow," she said in an all-business tone, holding up the folding in front of her.

"Uh, Sara?" he spoke, "I gotta go. Cath has a new case, and it's hot. She says she'll call you tomorrow."

"OK," she answered. "Just make sure it's tomorrow afternoon. I have an ultrasound and doctors appointment in the morning."

"I'll let her know," Warrick told her. "Love ya, Sara."

"Love you too."

When Warrick heard the phone disconnect, he hung up his end. "You got that look."

"You're never going to believe this," she breathed.

"What do we got?"

"A dead female in a parking garage, pinned between a cement wall and her own car."

"Her own car?" Warrick questioned. "Sounds like someone had a grudge," he furrowed his brows together.

"There's more," Catherine cleared her throat. Seeing that she had Warrick's full attention, she continued. "The victim is Sylvia Mullins."

It took a minute for what she'd said to register in his mind. "Sylvia Mullins? As in Walter Gordon's Estate Trustee?"

"The one and only," Catherine nodded.

"I think we may have just hit pay dirt," Warrick stood up quickly and began to head towards his Denali, Catherine close behind him.

TBC . . . .


	16. Chapter 16

Thanks for the replies. I know I've said it before, but it doesn't make it any less true: the feedback is muchly appreciated and I love to hear what everyone is thinking. :)

I disclaim -- I own nothing, and like all other Snickers fans out there, if I did, they'd be together. So CSI writers -- time to wake up! Nick and Sara are IT! (everyone is allowed a mistake every now and again -- and GSR was yours. But I still love ya:) ).

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Warrick and Catherine arrived at the crime scene ready to work and eager to find out what had happened.

"I wasn't sure if I should call it in as a 419 or a 401a," Sophia said when she saw the CSIs approaching.

"Hit and run?" Catherine questioned, eyeing Sylvia's body, which was still wedged between the wall and the car. Being told over the phone what they were walking in on did not prepare Catherine for the image that she was seeing.

"You tell me," Sophia said, cocking her manicured eyebrow at them.

"Mm, I don't know. When you run, you usually take the car," Warrick stated, looking around the immediate area of the body looking for any clues as to what may have happened. Aside from the connection that Sylvia had to Nick's case, which as far as he knew, could have been nothing, this had to be one of the most bizarre cases he'd ever worked.

"She works in one of the offices upstairs. The security guard found her."

Sophia and the CSIs separated, each having their own job to do in order to solve the case.

Catherine snapped random photos. "Cell phone, a shoe and a briefcase. Probably lost them all on impact."

Warrick added, "Looks like she saw the car coming. Impact's pretty evenly distributed. The car hit her straight on."

"Most cars have to be going at least 14 miles an hour to trigger the airbag," Catherine stated, though she didn't need too. It was a common known fact among CSIs. She opened the car door with her gloved hand, and notices something. "Well, I can't be sure, but it looks like somebody popped the ignition."

A few minutes later, Catherine suggests, "Carjacking gone bad? Vic gets off the elevator, walks to her spot ... on the phone, distracted, catches the guy stealing her

ride ...He runs her over and splits."

"Pedal to the metal," Warrick sighs, nodding his head to David that it was alright to start moving the body. "Wait a minute . . . " he bent down and took a closer look at the tow truck slowly move the car away from the body. "STOP!"

Everything came to a dead stop in the parking garage and everyone was silent.

"What is it?" Catherine asked him.

Warrick braced himself against the front bumper of the car as he reached down and picked up the object. "What does no woman ever leave the house without?"

Catherine smiled widely.

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"Fucking Ecklie," Warrick muttered, opening the door to the break room with a bang. The door rotated on it's hindges so quickly that it hit the wall and recoiled back, nearly hitting Catherine as she walked in the room behind him.

"Hey now," she tried to calm him down after bracing herself from the door flying back in her face.

"Sorry," he apologized, and though he didn't sound like he meant it, he really did. He glanced up at her. "You OK?"

"More concerned about you," she said immediately as she opened the refrigerator, looking for a cold drink.

Their shifts had become a double and besides the heat, and exhaustion, Ecklie had gotten on Warrick's bad side.

"He's such an ass!" Warrick exploded. "He knows damn well the connection between Sylvia and Nick and yet he won't make this case a top priority for the lab?"

"Warrick-"

"Don't tell me is just a coincidence, Cath," he warned.

She held up her hands. "I don't think it is." She sighed. "I'm on your side Warrick. We all are. But even Ecklie has his orders. Our tests will be run in the order in which they are received. Nick's case is a cold case. Whatever connection Sylvia had with Nick will still be there when we get our results."

"Hey," Greg greeted as he entered the room. "I hear through the grapevine that you've got a wicked case."

"Who've you been talking too?" Catherine asked.

He shrugged. "People. No one will give me any information though. So, I've got no clue what you're investigating. First time that anyone in this lab as been tight lipped about anything, actually. I wonder why that is . . . "

"Sylvia Mullins was murdered," Catherine stated bluntly.

"Excuse me?" Greg gasped. "How?"

"Someone broke into her car, and then for whatever reason, gunned the engine and pinned her between the grill and a cement wall in the parking garage of the building that she works in."

"Anything interesting?" he asked. They both knew what he meant. Had they found anything on Nick?

Warrick shook his head. "Her purse is a bit odd though. At the bottom of the bag, in the silk lining, is a smear of blood. We've got the samples in for testing, but they aren't exactly Ecklie's priority."

"What a prick," Greg mumbled. "You know, one of the techs owes me a favor. I think I'm going to go call it in."

Warrick smirked. "Thanks Greg."

Catherine glanced at her watch. "Well, it's going to be a few minutes, so I think I'm going to go make a phone call."

"Sara?" Warrick's voice softened upon thinking of his friend who was thousands of miles away, the one person most affected by Nick's loss . . .

She nodded her head slightly. "With the time difference, I think it's a safe bet that she's finished up with her appointment by now."

Warrick nodded his head. "Tell her I say hi, will ya?"

Catherine smiled a half smile, nodding her head. She walked out the break room door and headed for the CSI parking lot intent on sitting under a shaded tree and talking to her missed friend for a few minutes.

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As Sara stood in the bathroom suite of Nick's room, her room, she heard a gentle tapping on the door. She glanced at her reflection, flinching at drying tear tracks that we fading, but still angrily red, and her puffy eyes. She knew that she couldn't hide it.

"Yes?" she called, stepping out of the bathroom and into the bedroom.

Jillian poked her head into the room and smiled gently, knowing that Sara had had a rough day. She held out the phone to show Sara the object. "It's Catherine."

Sara smiled slightly in return, stepping foward and gratefully taking the phone from Jillian's hand. "Thanks."

She nodded her head in acknowledgement before turning to leave the room.

She took a moment to compose herself, and once the door was firmly closed behind Jillian, she took a deep breath and plastered a smile on her face. "Hey, Cath," she tried to sound cheery.

"Hey," she greeted back, a worried tone in her voice. "You OK?"

"Yeah, yeah," Sara said quickly, silently cursing Catherine's CSI skills. Couldn't she ever have an off day? "So . . . how's it going?"

Catherine nodded her head, knowing full well that Sara was trying to deflect the conversation. "Working a double. But, I have a couple of minutes and thought that I'd see how you're doing."

"I'm doing pretty good," her answer sounded formal. "So . . . ah, big case?"

"Yeah, kind of," she told her friend. "Warrick and I have been assigned to a case where the victim was pinned between a cement wall and her own car in the parking garage of the building that she works in."

"Wow," Sara's eyebrows shot up. "Someone had a grudge."

Catherine laughed softly. "That's what Warrick said too."

"So do you have any suspects?"

Cath shook her head, though she knew Sara couldn't see her. "Not one. Not yet anyway."

"Anything clues?" Sara asked.

Catherine smiled. "You really miss working, don't you?"

Sara laughed a little, though it even sounded hollow to her own ears. "There is a part of me that really does."

"And the other part?"

She let out a breath of air that she didn't know she'd been holding. "The other part still feels like it's too soon."

"I see," Catherine nodded her head again. She, of course, knew that that really meant 'I still miss Nick.'

"So, what clues do you have?"

"Archie is going over the security tape," Catherine answered. "And we found something in the vics purse that is out of place."

"What?"

"Blood. Not a lot of it, but enough to make it look weird. We've put a sample in at the DNA lab, but they are a little backed up."

"Blood in a purse," Sara repeated. The hair on her arms stood up and an odd sensation washed over her. "It has to be a big piece of the puzzle."

"Why?"

Sara shrugged. "I dunno. My instincts say so," she supplied.

"Well, enough talk about work. What I really wanted to talk to you about was your appointment. How'd it go?"

Silence.

"Sara?" Again, nothing. Until she heard a soft sniffle. "Sara, is everything OK?"

"I'm a mess, Catherine," Sara finally admitted, a sob escaping her throat. She laid down on the bed, clutching a pillow to her chest.

"The baby? Did something happen?"

Sara heard the urgency in Catherine's voice and shook her head. "No," she sniffled again. The tears were pouring down from her eyes. Her breathing became labored as she desperately tried to calm herself. "The baby is fine."

Catherine let out a sigh of relief. "Sara, honey," she said soothing -- well, what she thought was soothingly -- but the woman just started to cry harder. "What's going on?"

"Nick used to call me that," she wailed.

Catherine finally understood. The tears were all about Nick. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make it worse."

"You did-n't," she gasped. "I just miss him so much," hiccup, "Cath."

"Take a few deep breaths," she coached, and breathed in deeply as an example for Sara. "You need to calm down and relax."

When her breathing was more regulated, Catherine decided to try again. "Talk to me, Sar."

"I can feel him," she said.

"It's a boy?" Catherine asked.

Sara could hear the smile that spread across Catherine's face. "I don't know. I think so. I think that, today, anyway," she managed a small laugh. "I can feel the baby. It's moving around, not quite a kick yet, but just this fluttering. And I know it's in there. And when I feel it move, I feel him. I can feel Nick."

Catherine could feel the tears building in her own eyes.

"I start thinking that Nick would want to know this. He's want to be here, with me, when it kicks for the first time. I mean, really kicks. How'd he'd just want to be a part of it all. But he's not. And it makes me so angry. Some ass had to kidnap him and bury him alive. And because of that, Nick is gone, I miss him so badly that sometimes I can't breathe. And then I calm down long enough - only to realize that my baby is never going to know it's father. And then I'm mad all over again."

"Oh, Sara," Catherine said sympathetically, wishing she could take her friend in her arms. "Your baby will know Nick. We will all make sure of that."

"I know," she admitted. "And I'm so grateful for that. I never thought that I'd have a sense of security. But Nick gave that to me. Then when he died, it went with him. And there are times when I do feel like I have a family because of him, and this baby . . . but it's not the same."

"What can I do to help make you feel secure, Sara?" her friend asked. "Tell me. Tell us, the team. We'll do whatever we can."

"That's just it, Cath -- there is nothing anyone can do. Right now, it's the baby that is giving me that sense of security. And I don't think it's healthy. I feel like I'm putting all this pressure on a child that isn't even here yet. And I catch myself wondering what it's going to be like when he or she is born."

"Sara, that's not going to happen. We've seen what parents putting undo pressure can do to their kids, and I know that you'd never do that."

"Maybe not intentionally," she said, her voice cracking again. She sighed. "Cath, this baby is all I have left of Nick. And as grateful as I am, I'm terrified. When I said I could feel him, I really meant that I could feel him. Nick. When the baby moves, I feel Nick. And I'm so afraid that as soon as this baby makes their way into the world, I'm going to loose that feeling. Like I can only feel Nick because a part of him is literally still with me."

"Sara, listen to me," Catherine said softly, "Nick loved you. I know he did-"

Sara chuckled slightly. "Catherine, you guys had no idea Nick and I were even together until I told you I was pregnant."

She chuckled a little too. "You don't have to be together to be in love, Sara. I saw it written all over Nick's face from the day the two of you met. You always had this flirtation going on between you. Actually, it was more than that. It was . . . indescribable," she smirked. "There was a definite spark. "I always knew that some day, the two of you would get together."

"I could say the same for you," Sara smirked.

"What are you talking about?" Catherine sobbered up immediately.

"You and Warrick have always kind of had this thing," she smiled. "A sort of flirtations. It's indescribable," she was using Catherine's words, almost word for word. "There is a definite spark."

"Oh, shut up," Catherine said good naturedly, but couldn't help but giggle along with Sara.

"Thanks Cath," Sara finally said a few minutes later. "I really need to laugh. I miss you guys, you know."

"We miss you too," she answered. She glanced up and was confused. "Ah? Sara? Can you hang on for a sec?"

"Yeah, sure," she responded.

"What's going on?" Catherine asked as she stood up from her spot on the cool grass underneath the tree.

Greg came to a dead stop infront of her, breathing deeply. Trying to catch his breath, he couldn't stop his mind from screaming at him, telling him, among other things, that he needed to exercise more. "The results," he huffed, "of the blood . . . . are in."

"Sar? I'm gonna have to call you later," Catherine said, eyeing Greg. Obviously, whatever he'd found was huge, because he never before ran to find her - or anyone, for that matter.

"That's Sara?" Greg asked, standing up a little straighter. He was torn -- to tell her, or not to tell her . . .

"Yeah, sure, Cath," Sara said over the phone. "Let me know about the case, alright? I want to know how it turns out."

"Will do," Catherine agreed, and then said good bye and hung up.

"Bye," Sara echoed, and then turned the talk button on the cordless phone off. She rolled over and looked at the radio beside the bed, switching the radio on and a soft, steady stream of a new song by Rascal Flatts poured from the tiny speakers.

_She stayed mad at him for a lot of years_

_For taking her husband_

_Started losing her faith and thinking that_

_Her life meant nothin_

_But when she looks at those kids_

_She raised all by herself_

_She knows she had some help_

_Yeah she knows_

_He ain't the leavin' kind_

_He'd never walk away_

_Even from those who don't believe_

_And wanna leave him behind_

_He ain't the leavin' kind_

Though she did feel a few tears fall quickly down her face, she smiled. The song talked about how the love of the womans life was no longer there physically, but that he'd been with her emotionally. "I know you're not the leaving kind, Nick."

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"What is going on?" Catherine demanded as they finally reached the conference room. She looked oddly at both Warrick and Grissom who were already waiting for them.

"I'd like to know the same thing," Grissom demanded. Greg had pulled him out of an interrogation to tell him something that could not wait, but then he had disappeared in search of Catherine because her cell phone was in use and she'd accidentally left her pager on the break room table, which Warrick was hanging on to.

"You're aware of the connection of Warrick and Catherine's case to Walter Gordon, right?"

Grissom nodded. "Warrick just filled me in. But if I remember correctly, you were not assigned to that case. You were assigned to work with me -- on the case which you just interrupted me from actually conducting an interview. So, the reason why you aren't focusing your attention on our case had better be good, Greg," Grissom's voice was stern and the look in his eye normally would've made the young CSI shrink. But not this time.

"I don't exactly know what it means, but they found a bit of blood that was at the bottom of Sylvia's purse."

Grissom nodded his head. "And?"

"Well, it's an odd place for blood, but then again, the entire case is odd. I don't know about the rest of you, but I haven't even heard of a case where a person is run down with their own car."

"Get to the point, man," Warrick said, rubbing his hands over his tired eyes.

"The point," he said, opening the file that he had clutched firmly in his hands, "is this." He withdrew a piece of paper and placed it on the table, which Grissom quickly picked up and scanned the printer read off . . .

"Are you sure?" Grissom asked, peering over the rims of his glasses at Greg.

He nodded. "They ran it twice before they called me. I had them run it a third time. I still didn't believe it, so I ran it myself for a fourth time. It's real."

"What's going on?" Catherine asked, snatching the paper out of Gil's hands. She scanned the contents herself, then gasped and handed over the print off to Warrick.

"The blood is Nick's?" he questioned, looking up at Greg. "How the hell is that even possible? Has it been determined how long the blood has been there?"

Greg looked at all three faces. "I looked into that myself. I'm fairly certain that it recently happened." 

All four looked at each other, not knowing what to believe, or where to begin . . .

TBC . . . .


	17. Chapter 17

The replies are absolutely phenomenal. I love writing this so much and am so incredibly touched at the response that I have been getting. It means a lot, and I know that I'll never be able to articulate just how flattered and grateful that I am to all of you who continually show their support.

I disclaim . . .

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Catherine drummed her fingers idly on the table in the break room, trying to concentrate on anything -- but she couldn't. The time was slowly ticking by, and the ticking sounds of the clock were slowly driving her crazy. "Would you just take the damn battery out of that thing already?"

Grissom looked up at Catherine's unamused and obviously tired eyes. Though he didn't appreciate her tone, he knew that she wasn't upset with him. Just the situation they were in. He set the clock down on the table and removed the batteries, now stopping the one thing that was keeping him from semi-jumping out of his own skin.

"What is taking so long?" Greg asked, his voice almost taking on a whining quality.

Warrick clenched his teeth, wanting to deck Greg for asking the same question for the fiftieth time. He crushed the paper cup in his hand, then tossed it towards the garbage can.

After getting the test results on the blood stain from the purse back, Grissom had immediately called a Judge, needing an court order granting them access to Sylvia Mullins home. It was the first logical step in figuring out how Nick's blood may have ended up on the silk material. But he'd hit a stone wall. The regular Judge was out of town due to a family emergency, and the temporary Judge and Grissom went WAY back . . . and that, in this case, was a bad thing. He'd handed out a guilty verdict, convinced that the man was guilty. Despite local officials and law enforcement stating their opinions to the contrary, the Judge could not be swayed -- until Grissom's bug evidence made it impossible for the Judge to ignore. So, now, because of the Judge's dislike for Grissom, they'd been backburnered until the Judge could sift through all the material that sat on his desk . . .

Brass strolled through the door, a smirk on his face and file in his hand. "Atwater ripped that Judge Mason a new one." The file was released from his hand, falling to the table with a thud. "I think we shall be attending an impromptu gathering at Sylvia Mullins home."

Catherine jumped up and hugged Jim tightly.

Greg laughed. "A gathering, huh? I prefer the term shin-dig. Think the hostess would mind if we drop by without a side dish?"

"Lets roll," Warrick stood up, and lead the pack out of the break room.

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Nick paced back and forth in the cage, continually glancing at the door, willing it to open.

"Where are you?" he muttered. Sylvia should've been back last night. She always spoke with him in the mornings before work, and in the evenings after . . . it just wasn't like her to not come down and check on him. He knew that her guilt was eating away at her -- and for that, he was happy. Perhaps she would relent and let him go . . .

But now -- he was not only concerned, but lonely too. Sylvia had been his only source of companionship and even though he couldn't stand that, he craved it. Even though she kept him in the situation he was in, he needed the human contact. He always had needed that . . .

"Did you find the blood?" he wondered out loud, concerned that if she had, she was just going to let him suffer alone for a while until she could calm down. No doubt, if she'd found it, she'd be pissed at him . . .

Sighing, he wandered over to the table in the corner and picked up a bag of chips, munching on them slowly. He only had a small amount of food at his disposal, and with no knowledge of how long it'd be before Sylvia returned, he decided to ration it.

He grabbed one last handful of the chips and wandered over to the bed, flipping on the CD player.

_I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,_

_And each road leads you where you want to go,_

_And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,_

_I hope you choose the one that means the most to you._

_And if one door opens to another door closed,_

_I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,_

_If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,_

_But more than anything, more than anything,_

_My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,_

_Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,_

_You never need to carry more than you can hold,_

_And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,_

_I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,_

_Yeah, this, is my wish._

_I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,_

_All the ones who love you, in the place you left,_

_I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,_

_And you help somebody every chance you get,_

_Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,_

_And you always give more than you take._

_But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,_

_My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,_

_Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,_

_You never need to carry more than you can hold,_

_And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,_

_I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,_

_Yeah, this, is my wish._

_This is my wish_

_I hope you know somebody loves you_

_May all your dreams stay big_

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"Something smells good," Sara sniffed the scent lingering in the kitchen.

"Looks like someone is getting their appetite back," Jillian smiled, placing a warm cookie on a plate for Sara.

It had been a particularly difficult week with morning sickness. It had gone away for a while, then came back with a vengence.

"For now, anyway," Sara smiled, gratefully taking the chocolate chip cookie that Jillian was offering her. She reached over and grabbed a fresh glass out of the drying rack beside the sink and the gallon of milk from the fridge. She poured herself a glass.

Jillian smirked. "I thought you didn't like milk?"

Sara chuckled, and rolled her eyes. "Me too. Truth is, this baby has me craving it tonight."

Jillian nodded. "I know all about that. There were things that I would've get within ten feet of before I was pregnant. Then once we were expecting, I couldn't get enough of those things . . . "

"Did you keep eating that stuff after you'd had the baby?"

"Sometimes," she shrugged. "It all depends, I suppose. Why?"

"Both Nick and I hate peanut butter. Yet this baby seems to love it," she answered, grabbing the jar of chunky from the cupboard. She pulled out a table spoon from the drawer before unscrewing the lid, and dipping the spoon in for a heaping helping of the creamy stuff. Slowly, she nibbled at the oily concoction. "Normally," she said, swallowing the thick substance, "I'd say that this, what I'm doing, is disgusting. But right now, I'm in heaven."

Jillian laughed heartily. She scooped some more cookie dough onto a baking sheet. "So, you all ready for tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Sara smiled slightly. "All the kids seem excited about it."

Jillian smiled, nodding her head. "It's a Stokes family tradition. We all love it." The entire family got together for a barbeque and games, just for a day of family fun. And in the evenings, they set off an unimaginable display of fireworks. Sort of a mid summer family tradition.

Jillian looked down at the hard boiled eggs that were cooling in a bowl of ice water. "Nicky loved it, too. She glanced over at the potato salad mixture that was just waiting for the finishing touch -- the hard boiled eggs. "And he loved the potato salad."

Both women could feel the tears welling up in their eyes and reached out for the others hand to draw strength from. "We're gonna get through this," Sara nodded her head at Jillian, though she was still trying to make herself believe that.

"Having you here tomorrow is going to make all the difference for the family," Jillian said. "It won't be the same, but this will be the first year that Nick isn't here for this. You and the baby have been a blessing to us, you know."

"I feel the same," Sara smiled through watery eyes. "I mean, about the baby and your family." She touched her stomach. "I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have this little one, or you all in my life."

Jillian released Sara's hand from her own and walked around the kitchen counter to envelope her in a hug. When they pulled away from one another, Jillian noticed the look on Sara's face. "What're you thinking?"

"Nothing," she shook her head. But when she looked into Jillian's eyes, she knew that Nick's mom didn't believe her. Sighing, she tried to form her words carefully. "Have you ever had that feeling that something is going on, but you don't know what?"

Jillian shook her head, laughing slightly. "Honey, you don't raise seven kids and not feel a little out of the loop at times . . . "

Sara chuckled at Jillian's answer, but couldn't shake the feeling that something big was happening . . . .

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The sun was just sinking down below the Nevada mountains as the CSIs came to a hault infront of Sylvia's home, a couple of black and whites stopped behind their Denali's.

"Well, we've got the court order, so now, it'd just be nice to have a key," Grissom mused.

"This," Warrick clutched the court order, "gives us authority to get in by any means necessary."

"No need to go charging down the doors, gentlemen," Catherine smiled, her mood now in decidedly high spirits. She looked at Warrick, smirking a little, "wouldn't want you to hurt that fine body of yours."

Warrick paid no attention to Catherine. Normally, a comment like that would've recieved a flirty little comeback of his own, but he just had a feeling that something big was waiting on the other side . . . . "What'd you find?"

"What better place for a hid-a-key than under the welcome mat?" she smirked.

Warrick rolled his eyes. Sometimes he couldn't believe how trusting and obvious people were. In this case, he couldn't help but be annoyed, yet relieved that getting in would be so easy . . .

"Disconnected the alarm system," Greg announced, walking up to them with a wire in his hand.

"Time to find out what lies behind the door," Brass announced as he and a couple of officers drew their guns. "Do not come in until we say it's clear, understood?"

The four CSIs nodded their heads in affirmation.

Brass looked at them skeptically for a minute, assessing whether or not they were being truthful. Sara had agreed to the same order not long after the lab had exploded, but then decided to follow them inside, her own gun drawn. Yes, she'd ended up being the one to catch the guy, and she hadn't been harmed -- but her head wasn't in the right place. And he knew that the four CSIs he was looking at weren't exactly in the right frame of mind either . . . it wasn't the same situation, but technically, they should've been hands off considering the case had a connection to Nick . . . but telling them that would have been futile and a waste of time.

Brass nodded his head slightly, an indication that he would trust his friends and co-workers to stay safe, and out of the way . . .

"On my count," he said to the officers as he positioned himself at the front door. He put the key in the lock and turned the knob, cracking the door open just slightly. He nodded his head at the officers, preparing for the count. He indicated one, two and three with his fingers, before nodding his head vigorously at one officer, who then charged at the door, knocking it into the room and nearly off it's hindges with the force.

"Clear!" the four CSIs could hear being shouted from room to room. Slowly, the word became quieter, an indication that the team was making their way to the back and upstairs room . . .

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Nick was startled as he heard a loud bang upstairs. "What the hell was that?" he wondered, standing up and looking towards the ceiling as if somehow, he'd be able to see through it and find out what was going on.

The heavy footsteps became louder, then softer. "What's going on up there?" Nick yelled out, thinking Sylvia was home and had company. Perhaps even unwanted company. The footsteps were too loud to be hers, and there were more people than he could count. And he didn't take her for the partying kind . . .

"CLEAR!"

Nick's brow furrowed together. That was crystal clear . . . a strange, masculine voice had yelled out . . .

"Clear? What's clear?" He took a second to think, then it hit him . . . "HEY!" He yelled, running towards his bed, intent on finding a way to get someones intention. "HEY!! HELP! I'M DOWN HERE!! HEY!!!!!!!!!!"

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"All clear," Brass informed the CSIs, appearing in the frame of the front door.

All four stepped inside, taking in their surroundings. Not an opulent or extravagent home, but definitely not ghetto either.

"So," Brass started, rocking back on his heels slightly, "what exactly are you looking for?"

"Don't know," Warrick shrugged, pulling out his ALS from the vest pocket. "Anything that links Sylvia to Nick's case, I guess."

"Do you hear that?" Grissom questioned, standing up straight, a confused look crossing his features.

"Hear what?" Catherine asked, straining her ears to discover what Gil was hearing. "I don't hear anything." She eyed him cautiously. She was still the only one to know about the surgery he'd had on his ear to restore the hearing loss -- in fact, even though the team knew something had been different about him during the time when his hearing was coming and going, she was pretty sure they'd never quite connected the dots. "You OK, Gil?"

"Yeah," he sighed. "I guess I'm just hearing things."

"Guys?" Greg asked from the door way of the living room.

"Yeah?" Brass questioned, glancing at the youngest, and greenest CSI on the team.

"Do you hear that?" he questioned, unaware of the conversation that had just transpired moments before.

"Not you too," Catherine rolled her eyes.

Warrick eyed both Greg and Grissom curiously before stepping towards the living room. His brows furrowed together as he strained to hear - anything, really. "I hear it too."

Catherine's face dropped in wonderment. "Am I going deaf?" she questioned, not thinking about it. A quick glance at Gil to apologize for her blunder and she realized that she didn't need to be sorry. A small smirk played on his lips.

She, Grissom and Brass stepped into the living room and they all stood quietly, trying not to breathe too hard for fear that whatever the noise was wouldn't be heard again . . . .

bang muffled

"Wha-?" Warrick strained to hear . . . .

bang muffled

"What ever it is, it's coming from the basement," Grissom announced.

"There isn't a basement," Brass pointed out. "The only other area of the house is upstairs. There are no stairs that lead to a basement. And there is no cellar entry on the outside of the house either."

"Well, there is something down there," Catherine agreed. "And however it got there, someone went to a lot of trouble to make sure it stayed hidden."

"So, how do we get to it?" Brass sighed, scratching the back of his head. "And where do we start?"

"This is a little crazy, and far fetched, but . . ."

"Nothing about this case is conventional, Greg," Warrick pointed out. "You got an idea?"

He looked at Warrick, then to his boss, mentor and friend. "Secret door?" he suggested, almost waiting for someone to tell him he watched too many movies.

"Sounds like a bad soap opera," Catherine shuddered.

"They aren't all bad," Grissom said non-chalantly, then realized everyone was staring at him. "My mom used to watch them, with closed captioning. I'd come home from school and watch her stories with her."

Greg chuckled. "Only my granny calls them stories."

Grissom looked irritated. "My mother is old enough to be your Granny, Greg. Perhaps even your Great Granny."

The smirk disappeared off his face.

"Lets start looking for something that might trigger some sort of movement," Catherine suggested, becoming impatient.

Moving around the near by rooms, each CSI and Brass looked for anything . . . .

The banging noises had only gotten more frequent and louder, but the other noise had subsided . . .

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Nick's hands were bloodied and slight torn apart. He'd once against ripped the mattress and box spring off the frame, then proceeded to take apart the frame with his bare hands -- which is no easy task. Though his finger tips were numb, he pressed on.

Pounding the metal frame against the iron bars of his cage time after time was making his head hurt. The loud banging noise reverberated within the rather small area. He found himself tiring quickly, realizing that the lack of exercise had done a number on him in the last few months. The sudden burst of activity was throwing his body for a loop, but he didn't care.

He hadn't stopped yelling because he didn't want to anymore. He stopped yelling because his voice was now raw.

Only adreneline kept him going . . . .

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Warrick glanced at the wall the tenth time. He didn't know what exactly was drawing his attention there, but he couldn't shake it . . .

"What's that?" Catherine asked as she followed his line of vision from where she stood in the laundry room.

"What's what?" he asked quickly, turning to look at her.

"That," she pointed to the floor, near the base of the large vase the held the potted plant. "It looks like a crack."

Warrick stood back and looked at the wall. "Hey guys?!" his voice sounded almost panicked, but he was excited. "I think we found it!"

"What? Where?" Greg asked quickly.

"There is a crack in the wall here. Looks a little too perfect. And it's hidden by this fugly thing," he moved the vase over to the side, revealing a straight line that went up to the top of the picture.

"If it's a secret door," Grissom pointed out, "there would have to be two," his gloved hand ran over to the smooth crack.

"Could be hidden in the closet frame," Catherine shrugged. The door was over sized, as was the moulding that surrounded the door.

Greg touched the frame, pulling on it a little and it popped out of place, slightly shocking him. When he regainted his composure, he smiled. "Well, well, looky here," his own gloved finger touched the newly exposed crack.

"So, we've found the door. How do we open it?" Brass asked.

Greg started pulling at books in the nearby book case, and then tried to turn the light fixtures that were hanging on the wall.

Warrick reached out, touching the frame of the painting gingerly. "Don't suppose it could be this easy, do you?" he looked at Catherine.

She shrugged her shoulders, knowing what he was thinking. "I guess we're about to find out."

"Yeah," Warrick breathed as he moved the frame of the painting and the wall gave way. The quiet banging noise became loud and obvious.

"Jack pot," Brass said under his breath. He drew his gun and motioned for the CSIs to be quiet and stay put while he went downstairs and cleared the scene.

"Yeah right," Warrick's eyes were wide. He drew his own gun, telling Brass that he was going too.

Catherine, then Grissom and finally Greg, all pulled out their weapons as well, intent on all going down at once.

Quietly, they crept down the stairs slowly.

Brass held his gun firmly infront of him as he approached the landing of the stairs. When he surveyed his surroundings, his eyes fell on the one person he never thought he'd see. 

"Holy shit," he whispered in awe, his gun dropping to his sides.

Nick dropped the piece of bed frame, his tired body thankful for a rest. He collapsed against the iron bars, desperately trying to hold himself up, his exhaustion and emotions running at an all time high.

"What?" Warrick questioned as he made the way into room and his own eyes fell upon Nick. "Oh my God."

Catherine was behind him and gasped, tears immediately springing to her eyes as one hand flew to her mouth.

When Grissom saw him, he stood there silently, not believing it to be true. Greg was in a state of utter shock and disbelief.

Tears were now ready to spill from his orbs and his throat constricted. His vision was blurry. He almost didn't trust that the team was standing in front of him. "Hey guys," he managed to croak out the greeting.

Though they weren't the most profound words ever spoken, they were like music to everyones ears.

Catherine was the first to rush forward and grab a hold of Nick's hands, making sure that he was really standing infront of her. And he was.

"It's you? It's really you?" her tears spilled from her eyes.

Nick nodded his head, unable to find his voice.

"Oh thank God," she said doing her best to wrap her arms around Nick, though the bars between them were a big hindrance.

"Think you can get me outta here?" he questioned, his eyes dancing with happiness.

Greg nodded his head vigorously as he radioed upstairs for a uniform to bring them a set of tools to cut the lock off the door.

Nick looked around and his happiness faultered as his vision somewhat cleared. "Where's Sara?"

TBC . . . .

A/N -- so, the chapter is up earlier than even I expected! Yay for getting off work early! Yahoo! Not too sure if I'll be able to crank one more out by Friday, but I'm going to try anyway. Please review:)


	18. Chapter 18

Thanks so much for all the reviews. Once again, they brightened my day (well, days as they trickled in for about three or four:) ). All your continued support has meant so much to me. So to everyone whose read and reviewed, as well as sent me PMs in regards to the story, I can not thank you all enough.

I've been slowly working on this particular chapter since the last one was posted. Noteably, it's not my best, but it does set up for the next part of the story. I'm calling it a transition chapter. I'm hoping to start work on the next chapter in the next day or two, so feel free to send some suggestions of what you'd like to see happy . . . I'll gladly consider anything that comes my way.

I disclaim . . .

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As soon as they'd freed Nick from the home made jail cell, he'd been whisked off from the house in an ambulance, headed straight for Desert Palms Hospital, with Warrick by his side.

They hadn't really been able to talk to Nick about Sara, and what was going on.

"How are we going to handle this?" Catherine asked, running a hand over her tired face as she stared out the passenger side window of the Denali.

"It's not for us to handle, Cath," Grissom informed her. He noticed the look that she shot in his direction. "Look, all I'm saying is that Nick needs to be the one to reach out and contact his family. Let them know he's alive."

Greg bobbed his head in agreement from the back seat. "And Sara? What do we tell him? They hid their relationship from us, so as far as he's concerned, unless we say otherwise, we wouldn't have the slightest clue . . ."

Grissom sighed. He knew that Greg had a point. Figuring out how to inform Nick of Sara's whereabouts would be tricky. And how much should they tell him?

Sara had already had complications with her pregnancy, and all though since her mandatory bedrest was over, she was still to avoid highly emotional and stressful situations. Nick just showing up would surely be a shock. And what about for him? She was pregnant with his child . . . if they told him about his baby, he'd have time to process the information, in case he reacted in a not so favorable light, though Grissom really couldn't see that happening. But no matter what, he needed to be aware of the situation and what the shock could cause . . . but then again, it wasn't really their place to tell Nick about such a joyous event . . .

After Grissom's long pause, Catherine sighed. "I think we let Nick take the lead. If he wants one of us to call his family, we do. If he wants to do it, fine. As far as Sara is concerned, we should just say that she is on leave of absense from work, and went out of town."

"That sounds good," Grissom agreed, thankful that Catherine just laid it on the line as to what her opinion was. She was at least the more personable of the two of them, and surely she'd have known what to do . . . "But, what if Nick asks where she went?"

"Be elusive," Catherine shrugged. "We can say she went to Texas for a while, but not say where. Nick's an investigator. It's in his blood to find people. And I don't think it'll take long for him to set the ball in motion to find her. He loves her. And a man like Nick - you can't keep someone that in love away from the person that they care the most in the world about." She smiled a little, wishing that she had someone like that in her life.

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"I'm fine," Nick said stubbornly as a number of doctors tested his reflexes, and another shone a bright light into his eyes. "And I'm not blind!"

Warrick chuckled from outside the hospital door, listening to Nick's complaints about the fussing over him.

"How's he doing?" Catherine asked coming to a stop behind him. She peered into the small window on the door trying to get a look at him. Though she'd held him already, she seemed to almost still be trying to make it real.

"He's alive," Warrick smiled. That said it all. "How could anything be wrong?"

Catherine smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder. She sighed as she noticed an orderly yank the paper curtain on the rod around the track, blocking Nick from her view. She turned around to face Grissom and Greg who'd been standing quietly behind them.

"We need to keep this out of the press," she said in a low tone. "Nick has to tell his family first, and if Sara hears about Nick while she's alone, something really bad could happen . . ."

Jim nodded his head in affirmation of Catherine's statement as he approached the team. "I made sure that the department has done everything in their power to make sure that this doesn't get out before Nick has had a chance to talk to his family. Including Sara." He looked around at the hospital staff and patients who wandered the halls before turning back to the group and continuing in a low voice, "but we can't keep this under wraps. A Real McCoy story doesn't stay hidden long."

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About an hour later, the doctors emerged from Nick's room with smiles on their faces.

"I presume you are here about Mr. Stokes?" a man in a white lab coat questioned. When all heads nodded in affirmation he introduced himself. "I'm Dr. Ackles, the head Doctor on his case. He's doing remarkably well. Though I strongly insist that he seek therapy to deal with his ordeal, physically, he's in good shape. He wasn't starved, and doesn't seem to be abused. I have prescribed a round of antibiotics for him though. A small infection has formed in his mouth. It appears that a molar was ripped from his gums at some point during his ordeal. He says that he doesn't remember when it happened. It looked like it was done a number of weeks ago, so I'm pleased at how limited the infection is. He appears to be suffering from exhaustion, so I have also prescribed some sleeping pills for him, but because of the situation, I would like for another person to be in charge of handling them. He appears to be in OK shape mentally, but that can all change when the reality of the situation sets in. I don't want him to conciously or unconciously take too many of them. At this point, I don't see reason to prescribe him any sort of antidepresents." The doctor looked around at all the people who were listening to his every word, and smiled. "It seems as though Nick has a wonderful support system in place and because of that, I believe he'll do just fine. That being said, this is a period of readjustment for him, so keep an eye on him. Don't crowd him, but don't leave him alone either, alright?"

"Thanks doc," Greg smiled, as Warrick reached out and shook the mans hand.

"Can we see him?" Brass asked eagerly.

Doctor Ackles nodded.

"I'm sure he'd appreciate that. But make sure to keep it brief. We have given him a few of those sleeping pills so he can get some good rest while he's here, but I honestly believe that if nothing severe happens over night while we observe him, he'll be on his way home in the morning."

Grissom sighed in relief. "Thanks again, Doctor Ackles."

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A slight knocking on the door caused Nick to turn his head at the noise. When he saw five framiliar faces staring back at him, he couldn't help but smile faintly. "Hey guys."

"How you feeling?" Catherine asked as she took a seat in the chair beside the bed.

"Better than a few hours ago," he tried to smile, but bit back a yawn.

"I bet," Catherine smiled taking one of Nick's hands in her own.

"I know I asked this before, but . . . where's Sara?"

Grissom jumped in head first. "She took your abduction and supposed death really hard, Nick."

Nick swallowed around the lump that had quickly formed in the back of his throat. He nodded his head in understanding, silently begging for him to continue.

"I don't really think getting into specifics right now is important, but for her own sake, I put her on a Leave of Absense."

"Oh," he managed. "Did anyone call her?" When he noticed that they were all glancing at one another, he took a deep breath. "I'd like to see her, guys."

"She's out of town, Nick," Warrick broke it to him gently.

"When'd she leave? Is she coming back soon?" he asked quickly.

"She left shortly after you disappeared," Greg informed him. "And she hasn't decided if she's coming back."

"Oh," he felt like all the air had been knocked out of his lungs. "Do you know where she went?"

"Texas," Catherine smiled faintly at him. "She didn't even tell us where she was going when she left. She just kind of packed a bag and off she went." She saw the sleepiness in his eyes. Her thumb stroked the skin on the back of his hand. "She really misses you, Nicky. We all have."

He tried to smile, but the tears welled up in his eyes as he pursed his lips together. He nodded his head at them, barely managing to squeak out, "me too."

The door creaked open slightly and Doctor Ackles walked in, looking at Nick and then the rest of the group regretfully. "I know you've not seen each other for a while, but," he glanced at his watch, "it's time to call it a night." He heard Nick sigh in annoyance and looked at him pointedly. "It's just for one night. You need your rest if you intend to leave this hospital tomorrow and start to resume your life."

"Fine," he grumbled, though he was very grateful for everything that the doctors had done for him.

"Hey Nick?" Warrick called, getting his friends attention. "Do you want one of us to call your family?"

Another smile tugged on Nick's lips. He'd missed them so much. The whole thing had left him realizing that he hadn't spent nearly enough time with his family. He'd wished many times that he could just see them one more time. Talk to them one more time. Tell them he loved them one more time. "You know, I think I should probably call them. I want to hear their voices. Hear their reactions when they hear my voice."

Grissom, who'd taken up residence on the opposite side of the bed than Catherine, reached for the phone that sat on the bedside table.

"I think I better wait until morning," Nick yawned, rubbing a hand over his tired face. "If I call now, I know I won't be able to get off the phone. And I don't want to fall asleep while my parents are talking to me. Might not be the best of ideas, huh?" he smirked. "Besides, if I call now, I'll probably wake them up. And I know they wouldn't be able to get back to sleep."

The doctor once again poked his head into the room and cleared his throat and glanced at his watch again for emphasis this time.

"Glad your back, man," Warrick smiled then held out his fist for Nick to bop. The two laughed when they did their little buddy-handshake thing, both having been convinced it'd never happen again.

"Glad to be back."

"I'll bring you some of my Blue Hawaiian blend tomorrow morning," Greg offered, smirking slightly.

"Looking forward to it, G," he smirked back. He reached out his hand and when Greg went to take it in a handshake, he pulled the young CSI down and hugged him briefly, slapping his back. "I know this couldn't have been easy for you. Thanks."

On the way over in the ambulance, Warrick had told Nick bits and pieces of what had been going on in the lab - and how he and Greg had suspected something was up between Walter Gordon's daughter and Sylvia Mullins, including that they'd staked out her home. And know that his case, while being burried alive, was the biggest to date case Greg had worked on, Nick knew it had to have been hard for the new CSI. To work on something so extreme, and personal - like a friend being burried alive - could not have been easy even for a seasoned CSI . . .

"I do it again in a heartbeat, dude," Greg answered honestly, then quickly added, "but I hope I don't have too."

"Me too."

Catherine tried to form the words, but really couldn't. She just ended up making choked up sounds, causing everyone to laugh slightly.

"Oh shut up, guys," she managed, though giggled a little. Then she turned serious. "I don't want to leave you, Nicky."

"I'm not goin' anywhere, I promise," he smiled. He didn't want any of them to leave either, but he knew that they had too. Glancing over he noticed Grissom really didn't know what to say. "You'll come by in the morning?"

He nodded his head. "You bet."

After that, they slowly filtered out of the room. Obviously no one wanted to leave, but none of them wanted to irritate the hospital staff that was caring for their very missed friend, and end up being kicked out.

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The following morning, Catherine and Warrick were the first to arrive at the hospital. Warrick carried a styrofoam box from the diner near the lab.

Warrick knocked on the door and stepped in cautiously. "You decent?"

Nick slowly looked up from Warrick and set down the phone back into its cradle. He looked troubled, but shook his head and forced a smile. "Yeah, I'm decent." He smiled as Catherine stepped in the room. "Good morning."

"Good morning, handsome," she smiled at him.

Nick smelt the air and his stomach grumbled. "What's in the box?"

"Your breakfast," Catherine informed him. "Pancakes with butter and tones of maple syrup. And bacon and sausages."

Warrick handed Nick the container which held not only the food, but the plastic fork as well.

Hungrily, he tore open the offered box and dug in.

Catherine chuckled as Nick savored the taste.

"Better than I remembered," he commented as he dug in to the food for another bite.

Warrick nodded towards the phone, his eyebrows raised. "So, what's up? You looked like you were deep in thought when we came in."

He slowly lowered the fork from his mouth and set it back down in the container. He glanced down at the bed. "I'm just not sure how to do it. Call my parents, I mean."

"It's pretty simple," Greg joked, walking into the room with a jug of his Blue Hawaiian and styrofoam cups to go around, "you just pick up this end here," like this, he set down the stuff in his arms and picked up object, demonstrating, "dial the numbers, and it's like magic -- someone will answer."

Nick rolled his eyes, but smirked. "Gee, why didn't I know that?"

"Seriously, Nick," Catherine tried to get the conversation back on track, "what's going on?"

He sighed, scratching the back of his head. "I just don't know how to do it, you know. I mean, it's not like I can just say _"Hey, it's Nick. How are you all doing?"._ They thought I was dead. Getting a phone call from your back from the dead son has got to be one weird conversation."

"Imagine the reunion," Greg grinned.

"That's a great idea, Greg," Grissom entered the room. "Go home, Nick. Don't call them. Just go."

Nick pondered the idea for a few minutes. "I don't know, guys. I mean, I'm just so tired. Driving wouldn't be safe. And flying . . . I've spent so much time in a tight space that if I went back, I think I'd probably just loose my mind."

"I'll talk to my father," Catherine said. "You could fly home in his jet. You'd have more space to move around, and it's actually rather large. Besides that, you'd be able to take some pills with you just incase you need to relax. The regulations for private jets are lot more lax than those of commercial flights."

Nick thought about it for a minute. "Are you sure he won't mind?"

"I'm sure he'd be thrilled, Nick. For as much as he has a reputation for being heartless, he is a kind man when it comes down to it. He knows how much I've missed you, and he'll know what it means to me if you're able to go see your family."

"OK," he breathed out. "But I do have a favor to ask you all."

"Name it," Greg said as they all waited to hear what the favor was.

"Come with me?" he asked. "I don't want to be by myself anymore." He felt so weak even admitting that, but he knew that this was not the time for his pride to get in the way. He needed his friends. He knew that. He could admit that.

"I'm sure we can arrange for that," Grissom nodded his head. "I'll have to clear it with Ecklie. But I have a couple of favors to call in, and I think this qualifies as a good reason."

Nick smiled thankfully. "Lindsay would love the ranch, Cath. Lots of space to just run around. Clean air. I've got a couple of neices her age. They'd get along great."

"I'll tell her to pack her bags, Nicky," Catherine beamed.

"So, as soon as I get out of here," Nick sighed, smiling, "I'm going home."

"Yep," Warrick grinned. "Sounds good, huh?"

Not long afterwards, the team left his side at the hospital to go home and pack their bags, as well as for Grissom to speak with Ecklie. Warrick agreed to stop by Nick's house to grab some of Nick's clothes that hadn't yet been sent to the second hand stores. When Nick was released, he walked out of the hospital and sat down on a bench, feeling the warm sun on his face, the fresh air in his lungs.

Waiting for his friends to get back so they could get to the private jet, he smiled. "I'm almost home."

TBC . . . .


	19. Chapter 19

Thanks for the reviews and I am so, SO sorry for the delay. Of course, just like in the US, Canada had a holiday just a few days ago (July 1st). And I've been extremely busy at work, and with pojects at home. I hope you all understand. I've been kicking myself to get this done . . . .

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"Which way, Man?" Warrick asked as he sat in the drivers seat of the Silverado pick up truck that they'd rented at the Dallas/Ft. Worth airport.

Nick pointed, from the front passenger seat, in the direction that Warrick needed to go. He checked out his surroundings, breathing in the clean, but hot, Texas air.

"God, it's hot," Lindsay groaned as she fanned herself with a tourism brochure. She was in the front, sitting between Warrick and Nick.

"Yeah, it is," Nick agreed softly. The windows were rolled down and though the wind was blowing, it was still quite warm. The sunshine on his face was still something that he was getting used to again. And he was revelling in the sensations that it was providing him with.

"Move your elbow," Catherine hissed quietly between clenched teeth.

"Sorry," he apologized and shifted in his seat, trying to readjust his body.

"You need to eat something Greg, 'cause your a little too boney," she informed him.

Nick laughed. "Just wait 'til my mom feeds ya, Greg. Cath won't be complaining about not enough meat on your bones then."

"That just sounds wrong," the fifteen year old groaned, getting a round of laughs from everyone.

"Are you sure your parents won't mind us staying at the ranch, Nick?" Grissom asked from the back seat.

"There's plent of room, Gris. I promise ya," he said, taking a deep breath.

Nick surveyed the land around him. The rolling green pastures and the blazing hot sun shone down on the landscape. "God I've missed this," he said quietly. And he couldn't help but think of the one person that he really wanted to share it with . . . and how she wasn't there with him.

Soft rock played from the speakers of the truck quietly. The time passed slowly for everyone in the vehicle, anxious to get to the ranch.

"Won't be much longer," Nick said, starting to feel his body tighten with anxiety and excitement.

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She was trying to enjoy herself. She put a smile on her face and tried to listen, though her heart was begging her not too . . .

" . . . so, we're sitting there," Charolotte giggled, "on the bed in our upstairs bedroom, talking about these two really cute guys from our school, thinking that we're all alone and little ears wouldn't be able to listen in -"

"And we hear this sneeze," Rebecca, the second oldest of Nick's sisters laughs. "I remember yelling out that who ever was out there was going to wish they'd never been born!"

"Poor little guy was so frightened he fell out of the tree and broke his arm!" Charlotte finished, wiping the tears of laughter away from her orbs.

"And all Nicky got was one buck?" Nicole questioned her siblings this having been the first time that she'd heard the real reason behind Nick's broken arm that had happened at the tender age of 4. The little guy had been quite the climber. And had been told the only way to get his super important, and super secret job done was to climb the tree outside the bedroom and listen closely to hear what they were saying, then report back what he'd heard . . .

Tom smirked, laughter dancing in his own eyes. "One buck back then was a lot of cash!" he defended, though he couldn't help but chuckle. "Besides that, Nick could've counter offered and tried to get a couple of extra bucks."

"He was too young to know any different!" Bill smiled.

"You, however," Jillian said with a stern face aimed towards her oldest, "knew better." Soon, she broke out in a soft smile of her own, recalling the memory.

"Yes, I did know better. In fact, I remember thinking that my little sisters were getting a little too boy crazy for my liking and that they wouldn't tell me who they were dating. And since I needed to know so that I could teach them a thing or two about how to treat the Stokes women, I needed someone who could get me that information."

"We wouldn't tell you for good reason!" Gabby, who'd been sitting quietly by, interjected. Though she hadn't been privy to this particular saga, she knew Tom's older brother protective streak well.

"Well I got my information from a reliable source and that's what counts," he smirked.

"Yeah from a four year old!"

"Who broke his arm!" 

"For a whole buck!"

Sara sat back, her arms resting on the sides of the chair, hands draped lightly over her stomach. She smiled a little, trying to be happy. She was the only one who was having problems enjoying herself.

Everyone had been concerned that this being the first Stokes family summer barbeque without Nick that it would be sad. But in a way, the entire family with the exception of Sara, were bonding over his loss. Telling stories and laughing at little memories.

"Excuse me," Sara smiled a little uncomfortably as she stood up, her throat constricting. "I'm just going to go for a walk." She just didn't understand how they could all be so OK with things. How they were seemingly at peace with what had happened.

"I'll join you," Madeline offered, starting to stand up herself.

"No, no," Sara said quickly, turning to glance at her. "You stay. Have fun," she encouraged. Though she felt like she were being rude, and short of saying, 'I need to be by myself,' she just couldn't be around people at the moment.

Maddy nodded her head and eased back into the chair. "If you're sure."

Sara nodded her head and turned around, walking away from the group that sat around the roaring fire in the fire pit and the laughing children who played in the pool and with the various activities that were set up around the yard. The laughter, as nice as it was to hear, was just making her heart ache. How could the world go on like nothing had happened?

"One of us should go after her," Nicole said softly, the mood around the fire sombering.

"No Dear," Jillian shook her head, watching Sara's retreating back. "She just needs to be alone for a while."

The entire family continually glanced at Sara, who'd came to a stop by the half acre pond. The stream and the sounds of the gentle water had a calming effect on her. Perhaps it was because she sat on the swing in the center of the gazebo -- both of which Nick had built. The gazebo had been his mothers day gift to Jillian years back. Over the years, a few up grades had been completed. A coat of white paint, some small white tube lights . . . a few potted plants. The love seat swing sat in the middle of the gazebo, also painted white, which over looked the pond.

Sitting down, Sara allowed a few tears to fall. She placed her hand on her belly. "I'm sorry sweetie," she said softly. "I know you probably want to hear these stories about your Daddy. And one day, you will. I promise. I just can't be there right now. And for the time being, you're stuck with me," she chuckled a little, though it wasn't particularly funny. It was time to laugh or cry, and she was already crying . . .

Sara could hear Nick's nieces and nephews playing ball in the back ground, laughing happily and yelling joyously at one another, egging the others on. Everyone was having fun. Everyone but her. She just didn't want to be responsible for making everyone else miserable. Why should they be? It's not like they hadn't suffered enough already . . .

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The pick up came to a slow and smooth stop infront of the iron gates of the Stokes ranch. The silence in the truck was thick with unspoken emotion.

Warrick glanced over at Nick and noticed that he was taking slow, deep breaths, almost like he was trying to calm himself down. "Ready?"

Nick slowly tore his gaze off the framiliar property and turned his attention to his friend. "Yeah," he nodded his head. He quickly informed Warrick of the code which would open the gates and let them on to the property.

When the iron gates began to open, Nick heard the framiliar creaking. "I'm home," he said quietly as Catherine placed a comforting hand on Nick's shoulder.

Warrick drove leisurely down the driveway, letting Nick take it all in. The driveway was long and winding, but the house slowly came into view and Greg let out a low whistle.

"This is where you grew up?"

Nick nodded his head in affirmation. A smile spread across his face as he noticed a number of framiliar vehicles in the driveway.

"What's that noise?" Lindsay asked, her nose slightly wrinkling with distaste. "Is that country music?"

Nick laughed. "I'll be damned," he smirked.

"What?" Catherine smiled.

"The whole family is here. Every summer, my parents have a huge barbeque and we'd all get together for it . . ."

"So you get to surprise them all at once," Lindsay smiled, setting aside her hatred for country music.

"Exactly," he drawled, slipping back into the ease of his old self. He reached an arm over, dropping it across Lindsay's shoulders. "You're gonna enjoy it here."

She smiled at Nick, still disbelieving that he was sitting there with her. "I'm sure I will," she answered, looking slightly past him towards the stables.

When the truck came to a stop, a couple of animals came running up to the truck to check out who had come along. After a couple of vicious sounding barks directed the never seen before people, Nick opened the passenger side door. "It's OK guys."

Quickly the animals bounded over to Nick, wagging their tails and leaning into him, begging to be pat. He scratched them behind their ears lovingly before turning around to the people in the truck who were sitting their patiently. "It's OK, guys. They won't bite."

When they five passengers had all made it out of the truck, a hyper dog ran towards the group singing.

"Sparky!" Nick knelt down on the ground and grabbed his dog affectionately by the fur around his neck, patting him lovingly. "I've missed you, buddy."

The dog just jumped around, staying close to Nick and licking his face, it's entire body shaking with excitement.

"Boy if this is the reaction you get from the dogs, imagine what your family'll be like," Greg joked.

"The dogs _are_ family, G," Nick smiled as he stood up, Sparky staying close to his leg as he began to walk away. "C'mon, party's out back," he waved for them to follow. "We'll grab our bags later."

Nick lead the group the back yard and glanced back at the group, a sparkle in his eye. He raised his eyebrows in mischief.

"What's he gonna do?" Grissom whispered to Catherine curiously. She just shrugged her shoulders. The small grouped stopped walking, standing back far enough where they'd be able to see the family reunion, but not intrude on it.

Nick spotted four year old Zachary, Maddy's son. "How's the hot dog, Buddy?" Nick questioned the little boy suddenly, picking up the small child in his arms and flipping him upside down. The little boy shrieked with laughter.

"Good!" he nodded his head from his upside down position.

"You wanna have a hot dog eating contest?" Nick asked him conspiritorily. "I remember promising you that we'd do it this year."

Zack's head slowly flexed forward so he could get a good look at the man holding him upside down. "Hey!" he said loudly, but happily, getting the attention of the entire family. "I thought you weren't coming this year!"

Nick smiled at his nephew before turning his attention completely to the shocked faces of his family, which he knew were now looking at them. "Change in plans, Bud." He slowly flipped the tyke right side up and placed him back down on the ground.

The silence that hung in the air was of utter shock and disbelief.

"Nicky?" Jillian was the first to ask, not believing her eyes and barely able to trust her voice. She stepped forward a bit, reaching out to touch him, but hesitating to go any farther. Her hand fell to her sides, scared that he'd disappear just before she could touch him.

"Yeah," he nodded his head, his chin quivering slightly as he took a few tentative steps towards his family. His mother specifically. "It's me," he assured her as he reached out and gently touched her shoulder.

"Oh!" she gasped in shock, the tears that had pooled in her eyes flowing down her cheeks. "Nicky!" her voice was low and cracked with emotion as she collapsed into her youngest childs arms, completely dependent on her son, who'd been supposedly dead for the last few months, to hold her up, keeping her from hitting the ground. "It's really you!" she sobbed, her arms encircling his neck, as she held on tightly. She regained her footing.

"I've missed you," he whispered into her ear, kissing her temple.

"I love you," she said, pulling back and looking into his soulful eyes. His orbs were clouded over a little and he didn't seem to have the same spark as he used too. A sure sign that whatever he'd been through wore on him greatly.

"Let me have a crack at him," Bill couldn't contain his smile as he reached out and pulled his son roughly against him in a tight hug. A stray tear fell down his cheeks. "Good to have you back, Poncho."

"Good to be back, Cisco," Nick laughed. He looked over his fathers shoulder as he pat the older man on the back. He saw the faces of his siblings who stood there, their faces unreadable. His nieces and nephews were just as shocked as the rest of the family, but seemed to be taking it all in. The younger kids just smiled happily, glad to have their Uncle back - but not quite grasping just how close they'd actually been to loosing him. The concept of death was still kind of foreign to them.

"Hey guys," he greeted them. The silence that continued made him chuckle. "Well aren't you going to say anything?"

After a few seconds, all six of his siblings and their spouses began to laugh and cry, hugging him.

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Sara heard the noise at the barbeque suddenly stop. When she turned around to see what was up, the sun was in her eyes, blocking her view. It didn't appear that anyone was hurt. No one was running, and there was no yelling. No one was in distress. She turned her attention back to the pond, just listening the calming noises of the gently rippling water.

A few seconds later, she heard the sudden burst of happy laughter. She turned around again, but still couldn't see anything. The combination of the sun, and the fact that the entire family seemed to be concentrated in one area blocked her view.

She smiled a little feeling the fluttering in her stomach. "You just saying hi, sweetie?" she asked quietly. "I know your in there. We all do," she rubbed her slightly protruding belly. "When are you going to kick me hard enough for your grandparents to feel ya, huh? I know Grandma and Grandpa are really anxious for that. And to tell you the truth, so am I . . ." she chuckled slightly to herself, glancing up at the sun. "Listen to me Nick," she said, "I'm asking our child to kick me."

She glanced down at the soft material of the shirt she was wearing. Just a plain white cotton tee, which she had paired with khaki shorts. "The doctor said that you'll kick when your ready. So anytime you are, Champ, so am I."

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A few minutes later, Catherine, Lindsay, Warrick, Greg and Grissom joined the group.

Catherine pulled Nick's mother to her for a quick hug. "Congratulations," she smiled at the older woman. "You've got your son back."

"Isn't it wonderful?" Jillian smiled. "Not only do we have him back, but he's going to have the chance to be a father to his child." Jillian looked whistfully at Nick for a moment before gasping, which got the attention of Bill and most of Nick's siblings who were still talking excitedly to him.

"What's wrong, Mom?" Nick asked turning around to look at her. "Did I do something wrong already?" he joked.

She smiled, a new batch of tears springing to her eyes as she chuckled softly, reaching out to take Nick's hand in hers. "No, no, nothing like that."

"Then what is it?"

"There is someone else who'll want to see you, Nicky," she smiled at him.

The rest of the family registered what she meant and small smiles graced their lips. Which Nick noticed.

"What? Who?"

Bill smiled proudly at his son. "You did good, Poncho. Real good," he uttered the words a second time as he placed his hands on his sons shoulders and turned his body toward the lake.

The look on Nick's face brightened when he saw the silhoutte of her body in the sun light. He'd know that body anywhere.

He wordlessly stepped away from his family intent on going to her side, but a hand reached out and stopped him. With a questioning look, he turned around, wondering why he hadn't been let go. "Nicole?" he questioned her.

"Don't scare her, Nicky," she smiled softly.

"Why would I scare her?" he asked her, wrinkling his eyebrows in confusion.

Nicole offered a half smile. "Just don't, Nicky. You'll understand why soon enough."

Nick let his hand slip out of his sisters as he began his journey towards the gazebo once again, confusion etched across his face. Shaking his head, he pushed the thought aside. All that mattered was Sara. That she was here. That they were finally going to see each other again.

So many questions ran through his mind - including 'why is she here?' as he slowly moved across the grass. His long, lean legs began to carry him faster and faster until he broke out into a dash across the yard, needing to hold her as quickly as possible.

Warrick chuckled. "Think he's anxious?"

Tom glanced over at Warrick and Greg who stood only a few feet away as the entire family watched as Nick ran towards his love. "Wouldn't you be if you had a woman like Sara?"

"And a woman with her body," Greg muttered, earning himself an elbow in the side from Catherine.

"Well it's true," he protested, rubbing his sore side. She and Nick might be involved, and she might be his pregnant friend, but he was still a red blooded male who'd harbored a crush on her for years.

Nick slowed down as he neared the gazebo. Her silhoutte had become a less and less, and he was able to see her body in the now fading sunlight. He could feel the air leave his lungs and a few tears sprung to his eyes.

Opening his mouth to speak, he found he couldn't. His throat was dry, and he was nervous. He smiled slightly, his lip quivering. Making one more attempt, he managed to croak out, "Sara?"

The hair on her arms stood up and she gasped in shock. "Nick?" Closing her eyes tightly, she prayed that she wasn't crazy. She wasn't hearing things. Slowly, she turned around . . . .

TBC . . . .

A/N: Well, I thought that this would be the reunion chapter, but after it continued to grow in length before I got the main event, I decided that I'd best just end it here, for the sake of being able to update. Even if it is a little later than usual, for which I can't apologize enough. SO, that being said, the next chapter will be the reunion chapter. And just like the last time, if there is anything that you'd like to see happen, please let me know as I will consider all suggestions that come my way.

And if you're wondering in what chapter Bill previously said "you did good Poncho, Real good," it's in chapter 6.

Also, one of my faithful readers (Mma63), whom I value very deeply, expressed some concerns about this story to me. And while I hope that I have assured her of the course that this story is taking, I thought I would let everyone know here that the drama is far from over. I still have a number of avenues to explore, including the wrapping up of Nick's abduction, his dealing with things, and of course, the newest addition to the Stokes family.


	20. Chapter 20

Thanks so much for the reviews, everyone. Knowing how many people are reading this story and enjoying it gives me so much joy. :) Writing this story is truly a bright spot in my life:)

I disclaim . . .

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_Nick slowed down as he neared the gazebo. Her silhoutte had become a less and less, and he was able to see her body in the now fading sunlight. He could feel the air leave his lungs and a few tears sprung to his eyes._

_Opening his mouth to speak, he found he couldn't. His throat was dry, and he was nervous. He smiled slightly, his lip quivering. Making one more attempt, he managed to croak out, "Sara?"_

_The hair on her arms stood up and she gasped in shock. "Nick?" Closing her eyes tightly, she prayed that she wasn't crazy. She wasn't hearing things. Slowly, she turned around . . . ._

"God," she whispered, blinking rapidly and taking a small step backwards, her lower back making contact with the railing of the gazebo, preventing her from falling into the water. "This isn't real," she told herself. "You're not really here. You can't be."

His smile was filled with emotion. "I'm here," he assured her as he took a final step into the gazebo. When he tried to move towards her, she stepped back, her eyes filled with fear. "Sara?" He took in her full appearance . . . she looked different. Not bad different . . . just different. And it was slightly unnerving.

She shook her head vehemently, her natural curls flying around her face emphatically. "No," she choked out, squinting at his image with blurred vision due to tears. "You're not here. This is not real."

His own tears fell. "All I want to do is hold you," he told her honestly, his own tears cascading down his face. Tentatively, he took a step forward, reaching out to her. But when she moved away from him again by stepping to the side, keeping her distance, he stopped. "Why won't you let me?"

"I want too," she admitted. "But I'm talking to a ghost. I'm seeing a ghost! You're not real!" she bawled. "I can't take the pain of realizing that your just in my imagination just as we're about to touch and you disappear. My heart just can't take it," she whispered.

"Sara," he tried again, this time not moving . . .

"I'm crazy," she flung her hands up in the air. "I see you and I'm talking to you. And I can't make it real that you're really gone, but everyone is telling me that you are. They wouldn't lie, Nick. How can you be gone, but here at the same time?"

"They didn't lie, Sara," he stepped forward and this time she didn't move. She stood firmly in place, her eyes never leaving his gaze. "They just didn't know the truth."

He sighed, looking down at the wooden floor of the gazebo. He turned away and took a step forwards, away from her, and towards the waters edge. He just wanted to hold her in his arms. And she wouldn't let him. He didn't understand why she wouldn't believe that it was really him . . . and it was frustrating. He didn't know how to get her to believe . . .

"Don't go," she pleaded with him quietly, still not believing her eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere," he told her, turning back and looking at her terror filled eyes.

"You always leave," she shuddered, sniffling. "Everytime I see you, you leave me again." She wrapped her arms around her torso. "I saw you in the kitchen making pancakes. You smile at me over your shoulder, I blink and your gone. Then I wake up, and it was a dream. Or that time that you were in the stable, cleaning out Lightenings stall. You were there, and then you were gone. Don't you see, Nick?" she begged him, the tears falling furiously. "Everytime I see you, it reminds me of how much I miss you. And how much I can't make myself believe that you're gone. But then you leave again, and my heart breaks all over." She took a shaky, deep breath. "I don't want you to go, Nick. I can't find the strength to let you go . . . in my heart," She looked away from him, then looked up, surprised that his figure was still standing there. This was the longest vision of him that she'd ever had . . .

He smiled through his own tears, stepping forward once again. "I guess it's a good thing that I won't let you go either, then," he smirked at her. "And I won't let you go because I don't want to. And even if I wanted too, and I never will, I doubt I could."

The breeze kicked up and she could actually smell him. Her eyes widened a little in shock. "This can't be happening," she whispered, reaching out and then pulling back before she could touch him, much like his mother had done.

He stepped forward a little, stopping just a few feet away from her. "This shouldn't have had to happen," he said to her honestly, dropping down to be eye-level with her. "I never should've been taken. But I'm back, Sar. You just have to trust me. Us." He reached a hand out to her, his eyes encouraging her to take the final step and place her hand in his. "Please," he begged her, "trust in me."

She stared at him for what seemed like an eternity to them both. She chewed on her bottom lip in contemplation. If she reached out, he could disappear. But her heart was telling her that this time was different than the rest . . . and a slight fluttering feeling in her stomach encouraged her to reach out. What did she have to loose?

Tentatively, she raised her hand from her side and watched, as if in slow motion, her skin made contact with his.

"Oh!" she gasped, her other hand flying up to her mouth in shock and relief. Her eyes glistened immediately as even more tears threatened to fall. "It's really you?"

His heart swelled with love and a rush of emotion as their skin finally touched after months of burning and aching to feel her again. He couldn't find his voice, so he just nodded his head as his own tears fell rapidly. He grasped her hand firmly in his as he stood up, pulling her with him.

Standing toe to toe, with only an inch or two between them, he released his grip on her hand, bring both up to her face to cradle her cheeks softly. His finger traced the outline of her face from her temple, down the curve of cheek and to the edge of her lip. "I'm home," he whispered to her.

She could feel herself leaning into his touch, her eyes never leaving his. Her hands had somehow ended up grasping desperately at the material of his shirt, not willing to let him out of her grasp. She could feel the muscles in his abdomen under her touch. Her hands slowly splayed out across his chest then slowly and methodically moved north, her hands finding his shoulders, then slowly up his neck and finally up to the sides of his face. She was memorizing his every feature as if the moment wouldn't last. They now knew how quickly their lives could change, and how vulnerable they really were.

With her hands in his hair, her thumbs darted out and gently swept across the skin under his tired eyes. "I love you so much," she whispered.

"I love you more than you'll ever know," he said, resting his forehead against hers.

He was dying to kiss her, but wasn't quite sure how much she could handle . . . her reaction to him being there had caught him off gaurd, and he still couldn't quite put his finger on how she was different. For now, if this was all she felt comfortable with, he wouldn't push her. That he'd just enjoy the feel of being in her arms again. The feeling that he thought he might never get the chance to bask in again . . .

But he didn't have to wait long. He smiled slightly as he felt her tugging his head down to meet hers.

When their lips touched, the sparks flew. It was slow and tender, but both reveled in the feelings that it created. Sweet and simplistic.

Nick was the first to take it a step farther. He opened his mouth slightly to run his tongue along her lip, but was mildly amused and definitely not shocked to find her ready and waiting for his next move. Her tongue collided with his effortlessly as their tongues, lips and heads moved in almost practiced movement.

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"They make such a cute couple," Jillian smiled as she watched her son, and hopefully, future daughter in law, in their romantic embrace.

"You've seen them together before?" Greg asked them. He shook his head. "When? How? I thought you all didn't know about Nick and Sara?"

Jillian chuckled at the rapid speed to which Greg fired off questions.

"No, I hadn't seen them together before. But since Sara has come out here, I can see how it is that they fell in love. They deserve to be happy."

Catherine smiled at Nick's mother. "Yes, they do. I just wish that we'd noticed their chemistry before . . . looking back, it's easy to see why they'd turn to each other. They balance each other out. They'd only just really found each other when all this happened." She looked down at the ground, feeling guilty.

Warrick looked up at the almost dark sky. "We're supposed to be one of the best labs in the country," he started.

"And we let him down," Grissom bit the inside of his cheek. It was the first time that he'd really allowed himself to believe that he'd possibly let the ball drop on finding Nick. He'd just accepted that Nick was gone.

Bill shook his head. "You had evidence. This couldn't have been easy on any of you," he answered. "Besides, you all didn't even handle his case after . . . . it happened."

"You're much too generous," Catherine shook her head, tears glistening in her eyes as she peered over at her two friends who were still holding on to one another in a tight embrace, sharing sweet, but obviously passionate reunion kisses. She, along with the rest of the night shift should have pressed farther for a deeper investigation. And because they hadn't, their friend had lost months of his life to a traumatic event.

Nicole wiped a few tears from her eyes. "What matters now is that Nicky is back. It doesn't matter how."

The unspoken truth that the entire family would want to be filled in hung in the air, but for the time being, they were just content with finally being a complete family once again.

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Sara pulled back from his embrace, her chest heaving as her lungs burned for air, her lips swollen. Her body leaned against his in need of support.

Nick smiled widely as he cradled her head in his hands at the base of her neck. "I see somethings never change," he smirked a cocky grin at her. "I still make you weak in the knees."

She smiled up at him, but had to take a deep breath to steady the butterflies that were swirling in her stomach. "I think I need to sit down."

His cocky grin immediately disappeared and was replaced by a look of concern. "Sara?"

"I'm fine," she said as he helped her carefully sit down as she took a few deep and steady breaths. "I promise. Just the heat. I'm not used to the humidity here."

"How long have you been here?" he asked her, setting himself down on the bench beside her. He turned his body towards her, resting his arm across her shoulders, as she snuggled in to his side.

She pulled her head back to look him square in the eye. The moment of truth. The one she'd wish she'd been able to have with him, but never thought she'd get. A moment that now that it was here, she didn't know what to say. She knew what she needed to, but how do you tell a man whose life had been thrown into utter chaos that just when he thinks things might have some chance in hell of being the way that they were before, that something so life changing was happening . . . . it was overwhelming to her. She couldn't imagine how he'd react . . . .

She took a deep breath. "A couple of months. I came here because I needed to talk to your family."

He smiled lovingly at her, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. But the breeze just let it fall back against her cheek. He smiled, tucking it a second time behind her ear. "I always thought that I'd be the one introducing you all to each other."

"I wish you had," she smiled, once again leaning into his touch. "I . . . " she glanced down at her hands.

"Hey," he said softly, his hand finding it's way under her chin, cupping it, and making her look him in the eye. "You what?"

"I had something to tell them," she hedged, swallowing around the dry lump in her throat. "Something that I couldn't tell them over the phone."

His eyes narrowed at her as he took in her words. He was confused. "OK . . . " he drawled. "What did you have to tell them?"

She closed her eyes tightly, savoring the feeling of being back in his arms. She didn't know what had happened yet, and how he'd made his way back to her, and really, it didn't matter. But she knew that whatever he'd gone through was a life changing experience. The Nick that sat with her was not the same guy that he had been all those weeks ago when she'd last seen him . . . and because of that, she didn't know how he'd react to what she had to tell him. To what she couldn't hide.

She took another deep breath and locked her eyes with his, biting her bottom lip to keep from crying again, but the tears were already pooling.

"You're scaring me, Sara," told her, pulling her body tighter to himself without realizing it.

Deciding that she couldn't put it off any longer, and that she shouldn't, her words came out quickly, in a big jumble of words. "I'm pregnant, Nick."

His grip on her loosened and he sat back from her, taking in all in. "Pregnant?" he asked, almost no emotion in his voice.

A tear fell from each eye as she tightly shut her lids. Indifference was not a reaction she had anticipated. An excited Nick, yes. A shocked Nick, yes. Perhaps even a stunned Nick. Or an upset Nick. After all, they hadn't been planning a baby. It had just happened. And now he was just going to start the long journey to getting back to his old life. Back to a normal life. And she'd just thrown him for a loop.

She nodded her head slightly. "Yes."

"Sara?" he questioned her, his voice not giving the slightest hint of how he was taking the news.

She silently steeled herself for the look in his eye. But when she opened her lids and looked into his chocolate eyes, the look on his face caused relief to flood her entire body. He was smiling from ear to ear, and his eyes had a sparkle to them.

"We're having a baby?" he asked in wonder, just barely above a whisper. When she nodded, the smile on her face grew. He looked down at her stomach and she laughed a little, pulling the material of her shirt tight across, letting him see the little bubble that had appeared.

"I knew you looked different," he told her matter of factly. "Now I know why." He leaned in and placed a quick chaste kiss on her lips, but pulled back before it could become anything more. "Is it kicking yet?"

She moved her head from side to side. "Yes and no." He looked from her stomach, back up to her eyes. She laughed. "I can feel the baby moving. No one else has been able to, though."

Nick looked up at her with wonderment in his eyes. "Can . . . . can I . . . you know?"

She laughed slightly, grabbing his hand and placing it on her belly. She didn't remove her hand from the back of his. "Can you feel it?" she asked.

He shook his head no, staring at her stomach intently. When he glanced up, his eyes were dancing. "Is it moving?"

She nodded a little, smiling at him. "I think our child is saying hi," she hesitated for a moment, but decided to surge forward, "to it's Daddy."

His smiled increased and she could see all his pearly white teeth. "You think it knows who I am? Even though I haven't been here for you? For the both of you?"

Sara nodded to him. "I know so," she bit her lip. "I found that CD you made me. And everytime I've listened to it, I've always said, 'that's your Daddy singing.'"

He blushed slightly. "I wish I could've given it to you myself," he told her. "I had planned to. That weekend, actually."

When his eyes clouded over, she could tell he was slipping into that dark place.

"Hey," she called him softly, getting his attention. "You've given me so much, already. Your love means so much to me, Nick. And now, you've given me a child."

The clouds that had settled in his eyes lifted and the sparkle returned.

"Our child," he nodded in affirmation. He leaned up and kissed her lips sweetly again.

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Twenty minutes later, the two headed back up towards the house, their arms linked around one anothers waists, leaning into one another as they walked. Smiles were plastered on their faces.

For those twenty minutes that they'd spent just the two of them, they'd sat in awed silence. They were back together. They were having a baby. They'd continued to trade slow, loving kisses.

But before long, both realized that they should probably get back to the party.

Sara's smile grew when she saw her friends and turned to Nick, giving him a slight shove. "Why didn't you tell me they were here?"

He chuckled a little. "'Cause I wanted you all to myself."

She tried to act indifferent, but she was downright giddy. "You could've just told me that, you know!" She leaned up and kissed him.

"I think a part of my heart just shattered," Greg joked.

"Can't have that, now can we?" Sara smiled, stepping out of Nick's embrace, but still holding one of his hands tightly in hers. She leaned up and kissed Greg on the cheek.

"Aw, shucks," he said, looking like a bashful twelve year old boy who'd received his first kiss.

Sara never let go of Nick's hand as she hugged both Warrick and Catherine, warmly greeting them.

"You're getting bigger," Warrick commented, glancing down at her stomach.

"You knew?" Nick was shocked. "Why did you tell me?"

"It wasn't our place to say anything," he answered, smiling at Sara. "It's something that Sara needed to tell you herself. Congrats man."

"Thanks," he smiled, doing the little hand bop thing with his best friend yet again.

The four younger kids started to yawn and Jillian smiled at them kindly. "I think we should wrap things up," she said softly to Bill.

"Yeah," he agreed, then clapped his hands together loudly, getting everyones attention. "Everyone ready for fireworks?"

Lindsay's head snapped up. She had become fast friends with Nick's two nieces, Hannah and Adrienne and the three had been talking about school and things that they were all planning on doing during their summer vacations. "Fireworks?"

Her enthusiasm made her mother laugh. Living in the bright lights of Vegas definitely had it's perks. But sometimes something as simple as fireworks were more than enough. It was a spectacular sight - one that they didn't see often.

"C'mon," Nick nodded his head towards his friends as he held Sara tightly against him, not prepared to loose contact with her just yet . . . he lead them all down to the pond, his family making their way towards the water as well.

The lights from the house had been turned off and the only light illuminating the area was that of the stars and moon, and the fire that was still roaring.

Bill lit the end of the first firework display, which he'd rigged so that they'd all go off at timed intervals. He scrambled back a safe distance and wrapped his arms around Jillian, preparing to see the colorful display.

Nick stood behind Sara, his hands splayed out across her abdomen, his face in the crook of her neck, breathing in her scent. He loved watching her. And the look of pure joy that was radiating from her face was enough to light up his entire heart and world.

Sara gasped and giggled as she turned her head to look at Nick, whose face was absolutely priceless. His eyes were wide and he was looking at her in disbelief. "Was that . . . ?"

She nodded her head enthusiastically. "Mmm hmm. Did you feel it?"

"That was our baby kicking?" he asked her, not quite sure it was real.

She turned in his arms, her back to the fireworks that were still loudly popping off, one by one.

"I love you," he smiled, standing as close to her as he could. He leaned his forehead against hers.

"I love you too," she smiled back. "Thank you for coming back to me."

And with that, their lips came together in a passionate kiss as the fireworks continued to explode behind them . . . .

TBC . . . .


	21. Chapter 21

Thanks for the reviews everyone. I am really sorry about the delay. This week has been chaotic, to be honest with you and I just haven't had a lot of time to sit down and write.

WARNING: Some Sexual Content ahead.

I disclaim . . . .

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A few hours later, after the different broods of the Stokes family went back to their respective homes, Jillian and Bill set up the team with their sleeping arrangements. Since it was a large home that had been used for rearing seven children, it hadn't been difficult to find places for their unexpected, but very welcome, guests.

After showing the group where they'd be sleeping, the senior Stokes smiled at their youngest, hugged him for a while then retreated up to bed, leaving Nick, Sara and the rest of the team outside, sitting around the fire which was quickly fading. Lindsay had already been ordered by Catherine to turn in for the night. Her new friends had gone home, and Catherine thought given the long day it'd been for all of them, that she'd better turn in as well.

Nick had listened half heartedly as the team filled both he and Sara in on what had been going on at the lab. How Hodges latest scheme had left him in hot water with Ecklie, and how Wendy was giving him the cold shoulder . . . .even about the romance that seemed to be brewing between Mandy and Henry . . .

Warrick waved his hand around in front of Nick, but got no response as his friend gazed into the fire . . . his eyes held no emotion.

"Nick?" she asked softly, shifting in her chair beside him, squeezing his hand that she was holding, and reaching out with the other to gently touch his arm. "Honey?"

He shook his head, clearing the cob webs that seemed to fog over his mind. He glanced at Sara, giving her a small smile, then to his friends. "I'm fine," he acknowledged, seeing the looks on their faces. When he noticed that none of them seemed to really buy it, he let a larger smile grace his lips. "Honest! Just a little tired, that's all."

Gil looked at his watch, checking the time. He whistled. "It's nearing one am."

"Woah," Catherine was shocked. "I guess it's time we turn in, huh?"

Sara nodded her a head a little, standing up. She glanced around the fire looking for a couple of buckets of water that Bill had placed beside the fire earlier in the afternoon.

"Got it," Nick said quietly, his lips brushing Sara's cheek as he moved past her for one of the pales.

She smiled a little at the tingling feeling on her skin, still unable to truly believe that he was really standing there.

Warrick, Greg and Grissom quickly followed, grabbing the additional water buckets and pouring them over the smoldering embers.

Sara and Catherine quickly picked up the plastic cups, and paper plates and napkins that were scattered around the chairs.

Nick grabbed a hold of Sara's hand and held it tightly in his as they made their way to the house. He smiled, but it seemed forced . . . and unsure.

She smiled back, her thumb tenderly stroking the back of Nick's.

Upon stepping into the dark home, his grip tightened a little on her small hand. He held his breath unconciously until she she led him through the once framiliar room and found the small light above the stove. When she turned it on, he let out the breath that he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

Catherine glanced over at them quizzically as Sara led Nick towards the staircase.

"You want me to turn that off?" she asked quietly.

Sara glanced at Nick out of the corner of her eye and noted the slightly panicked look. She turned her attention to Catherine and shook her head. "Nah. Lindsay might need a bit of light if she wakes up and needs the washroom or something."

"OK . . ." she said, though not entirely believing that to be the reason for leaving the light on. "Night."

"Night," Nick yawned.

Grissom, Warrick and Greg all nodded their heads as their way of saying good night.

Nick followed Sara upstairs willingly. He stayed close behind her, breathing deeply to steady his breathing patterns that he could tell were becoming a little more panicked with each step. Though the upstairs part of the home was bathed in the moonlight that streamed through the window, he couldn't help but want light . . . need light. And human contact . . .

Sara turned the knob of the bedroom door and hit the light switch, which was on a dimmer. The room was illuminated in a soft artificial light.

"God, you're beautiful," he said, closing the door with a soft click behind him, then grabbed her by the waist and he pulled her body close to his. He planted a passionate kiss on her mouth, sighing intently as he allowed the feelings of uncomfort to wash away as he got lost in the feel of Sara in his arms.

She pulled back after a few moments, in desperate need of air. He'd caught her off guard, but she wasn't complaining. She leaned her head against his forehead, her hands grasping at his shoulders for support. She could feel his hot breath tickling her nose as his arms encircled her waist tighter. She smirked. "You're not really tired, are you?"

He shook his head no, though he could obviously feel the exhaustion creeping in. He kissed her again, his tongue darting out to taste her lips. "I've wanted you so badly for so long," he told her, dipping his head down for another passionate exchange.

She lost herself in his arms, melting into him. She moaned when his strong hand reach forward and cupped her heavy breast. Her nerve endings were already sensitive and on high alert, and now with Nick's talented hands, she could feel herself getting hotter by the moment. "I want you, too," she told him when his lips left hers and latched on to the milky white skin of her neck.

He slowly back her up towards the bed, his lips never leaving her skin and his fingers now gently twisting at the hardened rose bud of her breast, through her shirt. Her hand reached down and brushed against his engorged package. He moaned deeply, his mouth leaving her skin, desperate for air. "You have no idea what you're doing to me," he latched on to her ear lobe. His jeans fell to the floor with a soft thud, and he gently stepped out of them . . . .

Her eyes rolled into the back of her head. "You mean like what you're doing to me?" her voice was throaty. Her head fell to the side, giving him better access to the crook of her neck that he loved to lick and suck. Her eyes opened and she found herself staring at the sonogram picture. "Oh, God," she gasped.

Nick chuckled and his hands slowly started to inch her shirt up. He took a moment to allow his hand to rest on the slight swell of her abdomen, all the while continuing to kiss her skin.

"NIck," she sounded desperate. He continued on. "Nick." He smiled to himself, thinking that it'd have taken more than just a few more minutes before she'd be begging him. "Nick!" This time, the sound in her voice was panicky and so he looked up into her startled eyes, haulting his actions.

"What's wrong?" he asked her quietly, his heart racing.

"We can't do this," she whispered, regret in her voice.

His brows knitted together in confusion as he leaned slightly away from her, peering deep into her eyes. "What do you mean?" He glanced at the door. "I can lock it if your concerned someone will walk in . . ."

A small smirk formed on her lips and she dropped her eyes to material of his shirt. "No, it's not that . . ."

He cupped her chin so she'd look at him. "You can tell me," he told her softly.

She looked into his deep eyes. The pain that she'd seen resting just beneath the surface of his orbs had completely disappeared and in place of it, all she could see was his concern for her. Moments like this when she could feel his love with just a simple look . . . she wanted to absolutely throw him down and devour him. Have her way with him.

"I don't want to worry you," she finally answered quietly.

"I want to know, baby," he didn't look away. His hand was now cupping her cheek and his thumb caressed the smooth skin on her cheek. "I need to know."

She closed her eyes tight, and shook her head in understanding. "We can't because of the baby."

Nick broke out into a smile and chuckled. "Are you concerned that we'll hurt the baby?" He didn't wait for a response. "Couples who are expecting children make love all the time Sara. It's perfectly safe."

She shook her head, tears springing to her eyes. "You don't understand, Nick." She took a deep breath. "A few months ago, shortly after I got here, I fell down the stairs."

The small smile that was still playing on his lips disappeared.

"Your Dad called an ambulance and I was rushed to the hospital. Everything was OK, but the doctor put me on bedrest."

"Are you OK now?" he asked, looking her up and down, checking for anything that would give him reason to be concerned. Sara was too important to him to allow anything to happen to her. And though he'd only known of his unborn baby for the last few hours, he couldn't imagine his life without him or her . . .

She nodded her head, taking his hand in hers, bringing it up to her lips for a kiss and then placing his hand, palm down, on her abdomen. "Yes. We're fine. But when it happened, Dr. Brenner told me to avoid stressful activities. And highly physical ones. I never asked her if sex was OK mainly because . . . I mean, without you . . . "

He pulled her in close to him, craddling her body against his. "I understand," he assured her. He rocked her body slowly.

"I'm sorry for disappointing you," she said quietly.

"You didn't," he assured her. "I would've been disappointed if you didn't stop us before we got too carried away. But you did. I knew before that you'd be a good mother. This just proves it." He brushed the hair back from her face, pressing a kiss to her temple. The room remained silent for a few minutes. "Sara?"

"Mmm?" she mumbled against his chest.

"In the morning, would you mind if we made an appointment for you to have an ultrasound? I want to see for myself that our baby is healthy."

She smiled. "Of course," she answered. In fact, she couldn't help but be excited to see the look on his face for the first time he'd see his baby . . . it was something that she had wanted to share with him, but at least he'd get the chance now. "And I'll ask about," she motioned between them, feeling somewhat bashful.

He chuckled again. "Eager, huh?" Not that he minded.

"You have no idea," she giggled, her cheeks turning somewhat red in color.

His smiled. Glancing over at the digital clock, he noted the time was nearing two in the morning. "You and our baby need some sleep, Sunshine."

"You do too," she told him softly. "Are those sleeping pills kicking in?" she asked him, stiffling a yawn.

"A little," he nodded.

Catherine had been in charge of the sleeping pills since he'd left the hospital, but had quickly given the prescription over to Sara, who'd given him the nightly dosage just after the fireworks.

"Hmm," she sighed. "Maybe we should see about getting you some stronger ones. It should've kicked in by now."

"These are just fine," he told her softly, resting his head down on the pillow as he watched her closed eyes. Her breathing patterns evened out and became slightly more shallow. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she mumbled, almost asleep.

A few minutes later, Nick was watching her sleep, his eyes taking in her every feature. Finally, his gaze wandered down to her stomach and a smile tugged at his lips.

Yes, he was thrilled he was having a baby. And with the woman that he loved more than anything. And his excitement was genuine. But he was beyond terrified. And he couldn't tell anyone . . . they were all so excited about the baby . . . just a week ago, he'd been sitting in a cell, missing his old life. Missing Sara. Hoping that she'd be able to move on with her life, and live it to the fullest, to be happy . . . and now he was on the outside, with her and his family and friends . . . . with a baby on the way. His life was changing so quicky, and he felt powerless and out of control . . .

When the clock read three am, he pried himself out of her arms, immediately missing the contact of her skin, the faint sound of her inhaling and exhaling . . . he grabbed his pair of jeans off of the floor and quietly made his way into the bathroom. He turned on the light, and looked at her for one last moment before closing the door behind him, and locking it. His throat constricted being in such a small space again . . . he yanked open the window, allowing the cool night breeze to engulf him. He sighed in relief. While he'd been locked up at Sylvia's, the bathroom had become his only place of privacy. Now, being locked in there once again, was overwhelming. But the only thing keeping him sane was the gentle breeze from the window. A window that he hadn't had at Sylvia's . . .

Nick looked at his reflection in the mirror, the dark circles under his eyes hard to miss. He dug into the pockets of his jeans and pulled out two little white sleeping pills. He looked at them with hatred. "I don't need you," he said quietly, but angrily to the small objects in his hand. He dropped them without a second thought into the toilet, then flushed.

He then splashed some cold water on to his face, making him a little more alert. Sighing again, he turned to the door, unlocked it and stepped back into the room. He crossed the space to the door, and turned the dimmer off, the only light now in the room now offered solely by the bathroom fixture.

Crawling back into the bed without turning the light off, he laid down beside Sara, trying to slip her back into his arms without disturbing her. After he managed to do that, he watched her . . . the sun was slowly rising by the time he fell into an exhausted slumber . . . .

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When he woke up, the room was virtually dark. The windows had been closed, blinds had been drawn and fans were now on . . . the clock read one pm. He rolled over to his opposite side and came face to face with Sara, who was just waking up herself.

"Morning," he yawned, stretching his arms above his head.

She smiled. "More like Good Afternoon, Cowboy."

"I love it when you call me that," he teased, leaning in and placing a kiss on her lips. When he pulled back, he looked deep into her eyes. "In all the time I've known you, and all the time we've been together, I don't think I've ever known you to sleep this late."

"Yeah, well, pregnancy has a tendency of making a woman very tired," she told him, smiling softly. But she conviently forgot to mention the times that he'd woken her up -- thrashing around in his sleep, kicking and clawing at the evil that followed him in his dreams. His whimpering that broke her heart . . . all she could do was try to hold him in her arms as best she could and whisper to him that she was there and that everything would be OK . . .

He smiled at her for a second, then broke out into an even larger smile. "God, you're sexy." And he leaned in and kissed her passionately, slightly rolling on top of her.

"Nick," she said breathlessly, smiling as she settled into the covers. She knew that he wouldn't let it get too far - knowing about the problems that she'd had with the pregnancy. For now, she'd just enjoy fooling around. It kind of excited her, oddly enough. She felt like his parents could walk through the door at any moment, and she'd be caught with her boyfriend. It was so high school, but so thrilling at the same time . . .

"I love waking up with you," he told her, nibbling on her ear lobe.

"Nick," she gasped. When he didn't stop, she pushed on his shoulders, roughly pushing him off of her. She jumped up, a hand over her mouth, "I'm gonna be sick!"

He watched her dart across the room and into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. He stood up and followed, slowly opening the door. He saw her hunched over the toilet, heaving. He crouched down beside her, pulling her hair back with one hand and rubbing her back with the other.

When she finished, she sighed, and sat back on her heels, he reached up and grabbed the water bottle which was sitting on the counter. Obviously she'd been here before and was well prepared. "Pretty rough, huh?"

She looked up at him. "Morning sickness my ass," she huffed. "It happens any time it damn well wants too."

He offered her his hand to help her up as his other hand reached up to work the kinks out of his neck. "I think a late lunch sounds good, don't you?"

She groaned in disgust and lightly pushed him away from herself.

He just laughed and pulled her against him . . .

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"Nick!" Sara said, exasperated. "Stop pacing. You're making me dizzy."

"Sorry," he apologized, stopping in his tracks. He glanced down at his watch. "Where is the doctor?"

"I'm sure she's just running a little behind," Sara told him calmly.

He watched the door nervously. The only noise aside from the seconds hand ticking on the mounted wall clock were that of Nick's finger nails being bitten off.

"Hey," Sara softly chided, reaching out in front of her, grabbing his hands from his mouth. When she noticed she had his full attention, she offered him a smile. "I'm sure everything is OK. Just have a little patience."

He sighed, dropping his head. "Sorry. I'm just anxious," he told her. Of course, terrified would've aptly described how he was feeling as well . . .

"If you weren't, I'd be worried," she told him.

He offered her a weak smile, squeezing her hand which was still holding his. "I love you." He couldn't stop telling her that. He'd known the fear of never being able to say it again, to the people whom it meant the most, and he wasn't going to loose that again.

"I love you," she responded back.

Finally, the door opened and Dr. Brenner appeared with Sara's chart in her hand. "Hello," she greeted, and looked oddly at the man beside her. Jillian, and Nicole, had been the only people who'd ever accompanied Sara to her visits . . . she'd never been with a man though.

"Hi, Dr. Brenner," she smiled.

Nick nodded his head. "Hello."

Dr. Brenner nodded back, extending her hand and introducing herself. "And you would be?"

He smiled bashfully. "Sorry. Nick Stokes."

The woman visibly paled, her hand fell limp from his, and to her side. She looked over at Sara. "What?" She looked back to Nick. "How?"

Nick chuckled. "Long story."

"Well in any case, welcome home, Mr. Stokes. I'm very happy for you both."

"Thanks," he acknowledged. "And you can call me Nick."

Dr. Brenner easily fell back into her professional mode. "Sara, you were in just a couple of days ago. Has something happened? Any bleeding? Cramps?"

"No, no," Sara shook her head. "Nick came home last night," she smiled, feeling the tears welling up in her eyes from the emotion of it all. "And I told him about the fall after I'd first gotten here, and how you had me on bed rest . . ."

"As a precaution," Dr. Brenner nodded.

"Well, I just wanted to see for myself that everything is OK," Nick finished explaining. "I guess it could be the worries of a first time father wanting to make sure that everything is really OK, but I just need to know. I hope we're not being a bother to you."

She smiled at the young man. "Definitely not a bother," she smiled. "I wish more expectant fathers would take such a pro-active role." She closed the file in her hands and placed it on the counter behind her. "Have a seat, Nick," she told him as Sara laid back on the exam table.

Nick did as he was told, pulling the stool from the head of the bed off to the side so he could see Sara's face and hold her hand more easily.

The doctor rolled the ultra sound cart over to the bed and took a seat on her own stool near the foot of the bed. Sara had rolled up her shirt, exposing the slightly expanding skin.

"You've done this before," Nick joked, somewhat awkwardly. He was at a loss as to what to say. He knew that this was a part of bringing a life into the world, but seeing her in such a clinical light made him a little uncomfortable. He couldn't help but wonder how he'd react when it came time to have the baby.

"Maybe once or twice," Sara nodded, smiling at him, trying to ease his apparent uncomfort. She squeezed his hand. "Ready?"

He nodded.

"Here we go," Dr. Brenner smiled, flipping on the machine. The steady but fast heart beat reverberated through the room, and Nick could make out small movements on the monitor.

He gasped excitedly, tears shining in his eyes. "Wow," he couldn't say anything else. He looked down at Sara, who was watching him closely. He leaned down and hovered just above her lips. "You've done good, baby." He then closed the gap between them and kissed her tenderly.

"Do you have any questions?" the doctor asked when they pulled apart.

Nick shook his head, at a loss for anything to ask . . .

"Uh, yeah, I have a question," Sara smiled, looking at Nick, though she was turning a little red . . . "About those 'highly physical activities . . .'"

Dr. Brenner smiled at the embarrassed couple . . . ah, to be young and in love . . . and gorgeous.

TBC . . . .


	22. Chapter 22

I am so, so sorry for the delay. I know I didn't post last week, but my life has been even crazier in the last couple of weeks. I've started projects that I shouldn't have, I still have projects on the go that I can't seem to finish, and that need to be finished, work is crazy, and there is a lot of family drama right now. And now I'm getting a nice little summer cold, dammit! I'm gonna try and stay consistent with updating, though.

And once again, thank you all so much for the reviews. :)

I disclaim -- I own nothing of value, so don't sue. All you'll get is my cheap purse that just so happened to break today . . .

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One week later

The sun was slowly rising in the Texas sky and a gentle glow filtered through the curtains into their bedroom. Nick lay on his back, Sara on her side cuddled into him. Both extremely satisfied. She kissed his exposed chest, just over his heart. "Wow."

"I always have enjoyed making love to you in the morning," he gave her a tired, half smile. They'd made love several times through out the night, getting sleep here and there, whenever they dozed off.

They'd been given the all clear to make love by Dr. Brenner and they'd returned the ranch immediately, both determined to enjoy some quality alone time with one another, sans clothing. Both had been geared up and raring to go, but the teams presence had hindered their plans. By the time the evenings activities had ended, Sara was absoluetly exhausted. The heat of the day, combined with her on-and-off morning sickness that had lasted all day had forced them to put their plans on hold. It was the following morning that the team had left. And after that, their plans had been thwarted yet again by Nick's siblings, nieces and nephews who wanted to spend time with him. It was finally later that evening, nearly 36 hours after being given the all clear, that the two of them had been able to enjoy the other.

It was beyond amazing. Explosive, even. Sara had felt things she'd never felt before. Her body had been easily excitable and she couldn't believe all the new feelings that Nick had stirred inside of her. She'd learned from one of the pregnancy books that she was reading that her hightened senses were due to the extra blood coursing through her body, as well as her raging hormones.

"That is not breakfast!" Jillian's voice echoed from downstairs.

"Hush, Jillian!" Bill's voice boomed back. "The kids are upstairs sleeping."

Nick and Sara chuckled.

"Think we should join them?" Nick asked softly, stroking her hair back off her forehead and planting a kiss on her temple.

Her stomach grumbled a little. She laughed. "I'd say that's a yes."

"Are you hungry in there?" Nick smiled, leaning down and whispering through the thin sheet to Sara's abdomen. He looked up at Sara with amusement in his eyes. "I think so. Mommy and Daddy have been enjoying some of the finer exercises that human nature has to offer." He winked up at her, causing her to laugh. His smile disappeared, though she could tell it was tugging at his lips, as he turned his attention back to his unborn child. "Of course, you won't be finding out about those exercises until after you've put the two of us in an old age home. And if I find out otherwise, you're goin' to boot camp."

Sara laughed warmly as she pushed herself into a sitting position. Nick leaned over the side of the bed, grabbing the night gown that he'd nearly torn off her body the night before. Handing it to her, and then it's matching robe, she easily slipped it over her head. He reached down and grabbed his pair of Texas A&M draw string pants, and then the white shirt that had somehow landed on the lamp shade.

"Nick?" she said softly as they headed for the bedroom door. When he turned around, looking at her curiously, she continued. "Do you think we should tell them this morning?"

He sighed, looking down at his feet for a minute. He looked back at her, searching her eyes for an answer to the question that she had posed.

"If you're not ready, it's OK," she assured him. "I'm not going anywhere." She reached up and placed both her palms on each of his cheeks. "I love you, and whenever you're ready, I'll be here."

"We can't exactly put it off much longer," he said quietly, putting his hands on her waist, his thumbs stroking the stretched skin of her stomach. "We both want this, right?"

She nodded her head. "But, more than anything, I want to be with you. And if you're not ready . . . "

"I want to start moving on with my life, Sara," he assured her. "Our life."

"OK," she nodded. "But we don't have to do this right away."

"I think the quicker we do this, the better," he bit the inside of his cheek, a habit that he'd picked up to avoid giving away any sort of emotion that threatened to over take him.

She nodded her head, though she eyed him carefully. She was worried. He had yet to truly break down the walls and show her any kind of emotion, or truly tell her what happened. She knew that the team had filled Nick's parents in on what had happened, but she and Nick had been attached at the hips, so she hadn't had the chance to get the full story yet. All she knew were bits and pieces that they'd managed to filter to her, and that of what his siblings had informed her of. It was not a subject that had been brought up in front of Nick just yet, no one quite knowning what to say, and feeling like if he needed to speak of it, he'd bring it up.

Though the Stokes family had always been very open and honest with each other, this was a completely new situation for everyone involved. It was shaky, and unsteady ground. Uncharted territory that, though unspoken, was quite possibly full of land mines . . .

"If you're sure," she told him.

He leaned down and captured her lips with his in a tender kiss.

Slowly, the pair made their way down the stairs and into the kitchen where Jillian was telling Bill that a couple of pieces of toast did not make a balanced breakfast. "You're as stubborn as a five year old who won't eat their green beans!" she told him, frustrated.

Nick chuckled. "Aw, honey," he pulled Sara to his side, "this is what we have to look forward to in a few years."

"With our child, or each other?" she smirked.

"Haha," Bill said, one eye brow raised, but a grin over took his face. "Morning you two." He looked at Nick and a full blown smile covered his face as he chuckled deeply. Nick smiled at his father, then adverted his eyes.

Sara blushed a little. Obviously, Bill knew what they'd been up to lately.

"We were beginning to wonder if the two of you would ever come out of hibernation," Jillian smiled calmly, then glanced over at her husband and winked.

Sara turned beat red and groaned a little in mortification. She opened the cupboard door and grabbed a drinking glass and a coffee mug. She poured some of the black liquid into the mug, and then some cream and a little sugar before placing the mug on the table for Nick, who was fixing them both a little breakfast.

"Can we talk to you guys for a couple of minutes?" Nick jumped right in, getting a curious look from Sara. She mouthed 'now?' to him and he nodded his head.

"Of course, dear," Jillian said, sitting down at the table beside Bill. The two of them glanced back at Nick and Sara somewhat nervously.

"Uh, I don't really know how to say this," Nick started.

Sara jumped in. "I appreciate everything you've done for us," she placed a hand on her stomach. In the few days since he'd been home, it had become blatantly obvious that she was expecting . . . .

"But, we feel it's best that we start to rebuild our lives."

Jillian tried to smile, but was having a hard time keep the tears at bay. "We knew this was coming."

"Please don't cry, Jillian," Sara pleaded, her own tears springing to her eyes.

"I don't mean to," she laughed slightly, "but I'm going to miss you both so much."

"We'll come and visit, I promise," Nick offered. "And you guys can come visit us whenever you want."

"I assume you two are talking about going back to Vegas?" Bill asked.

The two nodded their heads. "I was checking out some real estate last night, online," Nick began, "and we want to go back. We'll live in my town house and find a house for us to start our family in. We want to be settled by the time the baby comes, so we figured we'd have to leave pretty soon."

Bill sighed deeply, standing up from the table.

"Dad," Nick said, upset that his father was leaving.

He raised his hand to his youngest son, motioning for him to stop. His emotions began to stir and once again bit the inside of his cheek. He smiled a little when he felt Sara slip her hand into his, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

Bill grabbed a file folder from the cupboard in the pantry. "Your mother and I wanted to do this for you a long time ago, Poncho." He put the file down on the table, sitting down himself, then rested his arms over the manilla folder. "Your brother and all your sisters have settled down, and we've built them homes here on the ranch. I guess in my heart -"

"Mine too," Jillian added, knowing exactly what Bill was going to say.

"I always thought you'd move back to Texas. Settle down, raise your family. But the more time passed, the more I realized that your home is now in Vegas."

Nick nodded his head in agreement, his arm reaching around to drape over Sara's shoulders. "Our life is there."

"We know," Jillian smiled through watery eyes.

"When you started telling me about 'Sunshine' over here," he smiled at Sara, "I knew that it was only a matter of time. I never told your mother about your relationship because you wanted me to keep it to myself."

"Which we still have to talk about young man," Jillian said, throwing a glance at Nick before breaking out into a small smile.

"But I did start telling her that I thought it was about time we did something for you. Push you in the right direction." He slid the folder across the table towards the couple. "We never got the chance to tell you about it."

Nick reached forward, pulling the folder to them. He flipped open the cover and both he and Sara stared at the contents.

"After the incident," Bill called it, "we discussed selling it. But something told us to hang on to it. Then Sara showed up, and we knew why."

Jillian reached over and patted Sara's hand. "We wanted to give it to you a while ago. But the time was never right. We didn't want you to feel like we were pushing you out the door, or anything. And I had a feeling that you'd turn it down."

"If you two want to sell it, that's fine. Find yourself something else, and put the money from the sale of the house towards it. But either way, it's yours."

"It was completed last month. It's just been sitting there, vacant."

The two stared at the pictures.

"I don't know what to say," Sara whispered.

"Originally, when I talked to your mom about buying a home for you, I was looking at properties at Lake Mead."

"But we knew how long of a commute that was. A drive there isn't too bad every now and again, but it's definitely not fun for everyday."

"So, your mother looked online and found this new developement that has popped up in the last couple of years."

Nick looked up at his parents, smiling. "Lake Las Vegas."

Sara read one of the computer printouts that lay inside the file. _Lake Las Vegas Resort offers 19 distinct neighborhoods including custom home sites, courtyard villas, waterfront and golf villas, resort condominiums, luxury executive homes and courtyard town homes. The architectural designs throughout Lake Las Vegas Resort are based on a Mediterranean theme, featuring classical proportions and traditional detailing that create the distinctive enclaves surrounding a privately owned 320-acre lake with 10 miles of shoreline. Developed with an emphasis on privacy and serenity, the homes at Lake Las Vegas Resort feature panoramic views of the lake, the resort's world-class golf courses and surrounding desert mountains, as well as the twinkling lights of the Las Vegas Strip._

"There are some amazing restaurants and shopping in the community. You remember Katie, don't you, Nick?" Jillian asked her son. Katie was her high school best friend with whom she remained close. Nick nodded his head. "Well, Katie won a trip to one of the hotels when the community was first being built and absolutely loves it. There are spas and casinos right there. And a full service marina with boat rentals. It just sort of seemed perfect. Almost like a recreational community, but close enough to the city."

"This is more than generous," Sara said, "but-"

"No buts," Bill cut her off. "I'm putting my foot down on this, Sara. If you try and convince me otherwise, you're going to have a fight on your hands."

"If it doesn't suit you, or meet your needs, Bill and I will understand if you want to sell it and buy somewhere else."

Nick looked at Sara, who was on the fence about accepting the house.

"We knew that we were running a risk by just buying something for you, son," Bill said. "But we knew that you would turn us down because you can support yourself. And have been for years."

Nick looked from Sara, to his parents, back to Sara, and then to the file again. He looked back up at his parents faces, then over to Sara, who was biting her lip, deep in thought. "I guess we should take a look at it. What do you think?"

Sara's head snapped up and met Nick's eyes. "Yeah, that'd be OK."

"Wonderful," Jillian smiled, standing up and coming over to hug Sara, and then Nick.

"Lets book our flights," Nick suggested, standing up and gently pushing his mother away from himself.

"Now? You want to leave today?" Sara gaped.

He nodded his head. "Why not? Life is too short to waste time."

She took a deep breath and looked at Bill and Jillian with worried eyes.

"Do you two want to join us?" he asked his parents.

"Sure, Nicky," Jillian nodded slowly. She looked at Sara, who was still seated in the chair beside her. Her head was resting in her hands. Jillian sat down in the seat that Nick had just vacated. Quietly, she asked, "Sara?"

"I'm worried about him," she admitted quietly to Jillian and Bill. "It's like, now when he gets an idea in his head, he goes full throttle. Without taking a minute to think it through. I don't think he's sleeping much, and he's not talking to me about what happened. I'm scared that it's eating away at him, and his way of not dealing with things is by running."

"Just give him a little bit of time," Jillian pat the back of her hand. "I'm sure your just being with him is helping more than you'll ever know." She stood up and immediately began to clear the half eaten breakfast.

Bill looked at his wife, who was busying herself with tidying up the table and counters, then back to Sara. He had a sneaking suspicion that Sara was right, and that Jillian, in her euphoric state that Nick was back, was just not ready to believe it either . . . he stood up and walked around the table to sit beside her, where Nick and then Jillian had been . . . "We're gonna make sure he gets through this. I promise."

Sara offered Bill a weak smile. "Yeah." She cleared her throat and then took a deep breath. "I guess I should go start packing."

Bill nodded in agreement as Nick hung up the phone. "Four tickets to Vegas leaving from the Dallas/Ft. Worth airport at two twenty this afternoon." He smiled widely, clapping his hands together in excitment. "Lets pack, babe," he reached his hand out for Sara to take and then lead her out of the kitchen and towards the stairs.

She glanced back at Bill, both sharing a worried look.

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"Just about finished," Nick smiled as he finished placing a few t-shirts in the small suitcase that was on the bed.

She smiled and let her arm full of bathroom toiletries fall onto the comforter of the bed. As she was organizing the items, a gust of wind blew through the open window and she looked outside, noting the changing weather. A chill rang down her spine. She heard the zipper on Nick's suitcase close and her the thud as he dropped it on the floor. "Hon, could you close the window in the bathroom and grab the prenatal vitamins off the counter. I forgot them."

He smiled, nodding his head slightly, walking around the foot of the bed. When he was nearing the bathroom door, the a gust of air came through the bathroom window, slamming the wooden door shut. When he turned the knob, it wouldn't budge. "DAMN IT!" he yelled, suddenly frustrated.

Sara flinched at his sudden outburst as she turned around.

"The lock is jammed," he said through gritted teeth. He tried it again, and again, his muscles flexing as he continued to try hard to get the door to open. Finally, he pounded the palm of his hand against the dry wall, a loud thud reverberating through the room.

"It's OK," Sara said calmly as she walked over to the dresser.

"No, it's not. Your pills are in there, and we can't go far without them," his voice had an edge to it.

"Baby, it's OK, we can fix it," she walked over to him, unscrewing a pen and taking out the plastic tube, which held the ink, from inside of it. She crouched down, and lined up the tip of the plastic, poking it into the small hole in the knob. When she felt a little resistance, she pressed the tip a little harder, turning the knob with her other hand at the same time. When the door easily popped open, she smiled up at Nick.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair and offering her an embarassed smile. He reached down his hand to her, offering it to help her up from her purch on the floor. "Sorry. I should've thought of that."

"It's OK," she shrugged. "You've got a lot on your mind." She reached behind the door, making sure the lock was disengaged.

He leaned down and placed a kiss on her lips, lovingly. He then broke away and went into the washroom to complete his task of closing the window and getting the prenatal vitamins.

Sara watched him, concerned as his mood went from happy, to pissed off and back to happy again in mere seconds . . .

Taking a deep breath, she could only hope that they could weather the storm that she was certain they were entering . . .

TBC . . .

A/N -- Lake Las Vegas really exists! You can visit the official website at


	23. Chapter 23

Thanks once again for the reviews. And again, I apologize for the delay.

I diclaim: CBS owns everything and anything CSI related. Anything in this story is completely ficticious and if it resembles any real life story, or upcoming planned plots on CSI, then they owe me a lot of money -- or just a trip to LA to meet the cast and crew:)

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The automatic timers had turned on the exterior lighting, bathing the house in a gentle glow.

"It's . . . " she was at a loss for words, blinking a few times, as if the house were a mirage and would disappear . . . "so big."

"It's perfect," Nick summed up. Sara turned her head to look at him in surprise.

They hadn't exactly had the opportunity to sit down and discuss whether or not they would actually accept the house as a gift from his parents. Not that it wasn't a nice gesture. It was. It's just that it was a huge decision. And they had a lot of things to discuss in relations to this particular house. Did they have time to maintain a large home and yard? Could they afford the yearly taxes? What about commute time to the lab? Sure, his parents had said that it wasn't too bad, but would they agree? And now that they had a baby on the way, they needed to think about safety. Being around a lake, school systems . . . her head was swimming with all these unanswered questions.

"Don't you think so, honey?" Nick peered down at her with such hope in his eyes. She found herself staring at a man who appeared to not have a care in the world. She glanced back at Jillian and Bill who were watching them from a few feet back, expectant smiles etched across their faces.

She liked to think things through. Not make snap decisions. Informed decisions had always been a part of her life . . . the few times she'd made snap decisions, things hadn't gone so well . . . and yet she had three happy people staring at her, waiting for her positive answer. If it wasn't what they wanted to hear, no doubt, they would be upset. Not necessarily angry, but not thrilled . . .

"Sara?" he prodded when she was taking too long . . .

She took a deep breath and it wasn't until the words were leaving her mouth, that she knew what she was going to say. "It's beautiful."

Nick let out a breath of air and scooped her up in his arms, swinging her around happily as he laughed.

She giggled, but soon started to get queasy. "Nick, stop."

He immediately set up her down, "sorry," he apologized, though he couldn't wipe the smile off of his face.

She'd said it was beautiful. It wasn't a lie. It truly was a gorgeous home. Of course, that hadn't been a yes. Nor had it been a no. It hadn't been a definitive answer, but the three Stokes had taken it as such.

"If you think this is beautiful," Jillian smiled warmly, "I think you'll love the inside." She grabbed Sara's hand excitedly and lead her towards the front door.

Bill and Nick strode behind them, Bill patting his sons back. "She's never actually been inside, either."

Nick glanced at his father questioningly. Bill chuckled.

"She took a look at the available floorplans for this neighborhood and chose one. She swears its one that would suit you, but I think it's her favorite. And she was the one who chose the finishing touches. The kitchen was her favorite. And the bathrooms. I swear, I was sure she was thinking about remodeling the ranch."

Nick laughed. "Yeah, that sounds like mom." He stepped into the house and looked around, whistling. It echoed because of the lack of home furnishings. "Now this is a grand entrance." The two story foyer was beautiful in every detail. From the stone flooring, to the wrought iron stair case . . .

Nick could see the sparkle in Sara's eyes. One that hadn't been there before. He stepped behind her, pulling her body against his. "You coming around?"

She glanced back at him curiously.

"I know you were just humoring me before, Sara," he smiled, then kissed her cheek. "I know you too well for you to be able to pull the wool over my eyes on that one."

She chuckled, turning in his arms. "I just don't know, Nick."

"I'm gonna go find Jillian," Bill said as he excused himself to give the two a moment to talk privately. He exitted in the direction that he could only assume was towards the kitchen - a room which Jillian couldn't wait to see, as she'd deemed it a masterpiece before it had even be completed.

"Here," Nick said, gliding the two of them back towards the stairs. "Sit down."

They settled themselves on the hard surface, Nick's arm around Sara as she leaned into him, her head on his shoulder. "Everything I have, I've always had to work for. And I've prided myself on that Nick. No one would've done something like this for me. Actually, I don't think there are many people that can say their parents, or people who are like their parents, bought them a home. I feel like as soon as I start letting myself believe in a fairytale, it'll get ripped from me."

"My parents would never take our home away from us, Sara," he assured her.

A few tears slipped down her face. Since the night he'd come back to her, she'd done so well as to not breaking down about his apparent 'death' in front of him. She didn't want to put him on the spot, or make him talk about something that he wasn't ready too. But she hadn't expected for him to put up a wall and seemingly act like it hadn't happened, either . . . and she'd slowly been feeling herself start to crumble. "I know they wouldn't take the house away Nick. It's just . . . I never let myself believe that someone as wonderful as you could ever love me."

"Oh, Sara," he said, his own tears coming to his eyes.

"But you did happen, Nick. And I felt like I was on cloud nine. I never wanted it to end. But there was always this small part of me that expect it too. Nothing good ever lasts. Not for me. And then when I finally started to believe that fairytales could come true, you were taken from me, Nick." She wiped the stray tears away from her eyes. "I've worked for everything, Nick. Everything but you. What we have . . . . it just kind of happened."

"I understand . . . I think," he said quietly, rubbing small circles on her lower back.

"I know this doesn't make much sense, but try and understand, OK?" She looked at him as he nodded. "I didn't believe that I would ever have a fairytale anything. Those only happen to celebrities in La La Land. To royalty. Not to people like me. And if a regular person did manage to have a fairytale, they'd only get one. You were my fairytale. Then you were gone. My great love was gone," she put her palms against his cheeks again, almost as if she were checking to make sure he was really in front of her. "But you came back. And I got a second fairytale. Even though I never truly felt like you were gone, I couldn't make myself believe it, people just don't go away and come back like you have. Not when one of the best crime labs in the country felt that they had sufficient evidence to say that you weren't coming back." She took a shaky breath and stood up gingerly, careful not to loose her balance. She gestured to the foyer. "This is like a third fairytale, Nick. I'm pressing my luck, here. I just don't want to wake up one day and have it all be gone. You're all the fairytale I need."

He stood up and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm not going anywhere, Sara." He pulled out of the embrace, but held tightly to her hand. Taking a deep, unsteady breath, he looked away as he said, "when I was gone, I had a lot of time to think. About how much you mean to me. I mean, I knew before, but . . . being away just solidified it. I was miserable without you. I'm never leaving again. Not if I can help it."

The tears continued to pour from her eyes as she buried her face in his chest. They clung to each other, desperate to never be apart again.

After a few minutes, Sara chuckled softly, wiping at the smudges under her eyes. "I must look like a mess."

He shook his head, moving her hands away from her face as he took over wiping at the delecate skin beneath her eyes. "You look beautiful. Always."

She smacked at his chest, blushing slightly. "You just wanna get lucky."

He smirked. "No, that's not it. But," he paused, leaning in and whispering in her ear, "if I did wanna get lucky, would I?"

"Hmm, let me think," she pretended to ponder the thought for a moment before leaning in and capturing his lips in a kiss.

"So, where are we on the issue of the house?" he asked. "Do you like it?"

"Like it?" She looked at him with wide eyes. "I love it, but . . . I don't know."

"My parents want to do this for us, Sara. So, if that's whats holding you back -"

"That's not it," she finally decided. "It was very generous of them."

"Then what's holding you back?"

"Schools, and taxes, and commute time from here to work . . ."

He smiled. "OK, so we'll look into that stuff. We can even try living here because my parents bought it for us already and if it just doesn't feel like home, like us, we can find somewhere else."

She turned her head to look at him and smiled. "Tell you what, lets check out the rest of the house, and when we go back to your town house -"

"Our house," corrected her.

She smiled widely, biting her lip, "sorry, our house, we can discuss things a little more. I just don't want to rush into something for the sake of giving your parents an answer. Our lives have been turned upside down and inside out. I think we just need a little stability."

"And with the baby on the way, making a snap decision as big as a house doesn't make much sense."

"Not if we want to be settled by the time the baby comes. I just want to make sure that this is what is right for us."

"What's right for me is what is right for you and our child."

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The next morning, Sara woke up to an empty bed. Though Nick's side hadn't been made, it was obvious that it had hardly been slept in as the sheets weren't tangled. And the mattress was cold. Her head rolled to the side and she sighed, noting that the time was 7am. She flung the covers off of her body and threw her legs over the side of the bed, getting up as easily as she could. Though expanding stomach was making even the most routine things difficult.

As she walked into the kitchen, the aroma made her smile. Coffee. Remembering that she couldn't have any, she frowned slightly, but continued on her quest in finding Nick. Passing by the front door, she caught a glimpse of the back of his head through the window. Quietly, she slipped on a pair of flip flops and then opened the door.

"Good morning," she greeted softly. She noticed that he was startled as he nearly launched himself into a standing position, turning to look at her.

He smiled a little, embarrassed. "Good morning, darlin'," he greeted back softly. He felt her sit down beside him and rest her hand on his inner thigh, before she leaned in, and rested her head against his shoulder. He slipped an arm around her waist. "How are you feeling?"

"OK," she smiled. She didn't feel sick, and it was a nice way to wake up - not running to the bathroom. "Although, I'm a little grumpy."

"Why is that?" he smirked.

She nodded to his cup before pouting pitifully. "No coffee."

He chuckled, handing her his mug. "I went to the store this morning. It's decaf."

She looked startled. "You went this morning? When?" She knew it wasn't unheard of to have stores open 24 hours a day, but after leaving Lake Las Vegas, and returning to the town house, it'd been after 11. And everyone had headed off to bed.

"I dunno," he shrugged, though he knew perfectly what time it had been. "Early."

She nodded her head, reminding herself to pick and choose her battles. Things would have to be dealt with in fairly short order, but calling him out on lying about when he went to buy coffee was a little too trival. She placed the cup of coffee under her nose, inhaling the sweet smell before bringing the liquid to her lips for a delicious taste. Her eyes roamed the small front yard and came to a rest on the recycling and garbage bins that sat at the end of the driveway, filled to the brim.

Noticing her questioning glance at the materials, he shrugged. "Garage needed to be cleaned. It's done now."

"Did you sleep at all?" she said abruptly. They'd been in Vegas for less than 18 hours, and he was already grocery shopping and cleaning out the garage?

"Enough" was his simple response.

She nodded, slightly uncomfortable with the situation. She didn't know how to deal with it. It had to be done and she was at a loss. She'd dealt with rapists and murderers and managed to get confessions from people that put them away for life, or to find evidence that cleared wrongfully accused. And yet, the love of her life was obviously suffering, and she had no way to get him to open up. No words to comfort him. No way of truly understanding just what it was that he needed.

"Trash and recycling get picked up on Tuesdays now," she said softly.

"Oh," was the sad sounding response that he gave. "I guess more has changed than I realized."

He sounded bitter.

"Has anything not changed?" he looked at her, a bit of coldness reflecting from his normally brown, but now almost black orbs.

"Nick," she started, but he cut her off with a wave of his hand as he stood up and made his way down the driveway towards the garbage and recycling.

She watched as he stood at the end of the driveway for a moment as his rigid body seemed to relax and his shoulders sagged. He grabbed the handles of both the trash and recycling bins, wheeling them back towards the house. He placed them beside the garage, before returning to Sara's side, sitting down. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cut you off."

"No, no, I understand. A lot of things are different now and you're just trying to readjust."

"Yeah, I know you understand," he said. There was no emotion behind the words. But she knew that he didn't really believe that she understood. And she knew that she didn't really understand. "So, have you made your decision?"

She glanced at him from the corner of her eye, raising an eyebrow.

"You said you'd sleep on it."

"And I said that I wanted to look into school systems, and taxes, and commute -"

"We checked the commute last night," he pointed out. After leaving Lake Las Vegas, they'd driven to the crime lab. Having driven the speed limit, they managed to reach headquarters in 19 minutes."

"That's true," she acknowledge, "but with gas prices, I'd like to figure out how much more it's going to cost. It's an additional ten minutes of driving each way, and with gas prices continuing to rise, and cars hindering the environment . . ."

"Just say it!" he said in an accusatory tone, standing up and walking into the house, his voice raised a little bit.

She was taken by surprise once again with his sudden outburst. "Say what?" she asked, standing up and following him inside, her voice taking on an edge. Her hormones were on overdrive and as much as she knew that Nick really couldn't help his outbursts at the moment, neither could she.

"That you don't want to move in with me!"

Her face dropped and she sat down on the sofa, unable to speak. To even think.

"The idea of spending the rest of your life with me repulses you, but because we're having a baby, you're stuck with me! Isn't that it?" he paced back and forth, the vein in his neck throbbing.

"What?! Nick, no! That's not it at all!"

"Then what is it? Huh?" He picked up a stack of papers and threw them down onto the coffee table in front of her, the stack landing with a thud. He recognized that he was being an ass, and that Sara didn't deserve to be at the receiving end of his tirade, but he couldn't stop, though he tried. "I looked online at taxes last night. It's only a couple hundred more a year than what I was paying here. We can handle it. It's not like you'd be paying rent at your apartment, so we could swing it. And the school system near Lake Las Vegas is one of the best in the county. It's public school, so if you want to send our kid to private school, we can look into that. It'll cost a lot of money, but we can do it. Butterfield is only a 15 minute bus ride from the house."

She watched him in silence for a few minutes. And he watched her. Sighing, she realized that there was only one thing to do. "You've really done your research," she commented softly, picking up some of the papers he'd dropped in front of her. She leafed through it. The house was definitely beautiful. A dream, really. And she could completely picture herself living there. Waking up in Nick's arms everyday. A couple of kids and a dog . . . she could picture everything. Everything except the white picket fence. That she didn't want. Never had. In fact, she dreamed about it all during the night.

He sat down heavily on the chair beside the couch she was sitting on. He ran a hand over his head and tired eyes. "I have."

She reached over and grabbed one of his hands. "And you want this?" she asked him. "And I do mean this," she waved her hands around at them, to the baby, to the house. "You want it all?"

He tried to smile, but his emotions were still bubbling inside of him and he didn't know how they'd come out. His outburst had even startled him.

"And you want it here?" she pointed to the folder that had been placed on the coffee table the night before, it's contents the pictures of their new home, and the community of Lake Las Vegas.

"I do," he whispered.

"Then lets do it," she nodded, smiling a little herself.

"Are you sure?" he questioned her.

"I've never been more sure of anything, Nick," she answered honestly, standing up and pulling him up from the chair. She wrapped her arms around his neck in a tight hug and smiled when she felt him wrapping his arms around her back, pulling her tightly to him, but mindful of the baby. "I'm in this for the long haul, Nick. Don't forget that."

"I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you, Sara," he said honestly. "I don't think I'd make it."

"Don't talk like that," she gently scolded him. She pulled back and looked into his eyes. "I love you. Do you hear me?"

His eyes teared up and he smiled partially through watery eyes. "I love you, too."

They brought their lips together in a sweet kiss, both knowing that they faced an uncertain future . . . .

TBC . . .


	24. Chapter 24

Thanks for the reviews to those who leave them. It really does mean a lot. Much more than a few words could ever convey. hugs to all

I feel like a broken record - always saying this. But I'm really sorry for the time between updates. My life has been crazy insane lately. For as much as I love where I work, and most of the people, there have been many days where I've come home completely drained and unable to form a coherant thought, much less a chapter of a story. And it doesn't help that I'm at the beginning of my 'sick cycle' which starts earlier and earlier every year (it generally starts September/October, but its August and starting already) and generally lasts until mid to late spring. I'm already seeing specialists and having a multitude of tests performed to figure out what the hell is wrong, but no one can figure it out . . . so, these are just a couple of the reasons why I haven't had time to update. Real life being the other. Fun stuff, huh? I wish I could say that I was away on some exotic vacation . . .

Anyway, I disclaim . . . CSI belongs to CBS. I make no profit from concocting little stories in which I'd like to see happen.

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It was a week later and Nick's parents had returned to Texas after helping them settle into the new house. They didn't have enough furniture to fill the spaces, but Sara had insisted that it wasn't a problem. They would slowly finish the house off as they needed it. And they were having their first 'team' get together.

"It's beautiful," Lindsay said in an awed tone as she rejoined the adults in the backyard in the afternoon sun. Thankfully, Vegas was going through a 'cold snap' - which at this time of year, was a welcome relief from the scorching hot sun.

"Thanks Linds," Sara smiled from her comfortable position in the lawn chair, her arms on arm rests and hands laying over her swollen belly.

"Just wait until they get the arcade going!" Greg told the girl, smiling broadly.

Nick laughed. "Can't wait man."

"I'm so gonna kick your ass at every game, Nick," Warrick said, shrugging off Nick's enthusiasm. He'd get over that really quick.

"Hold on. The what?" Sara sat up a little, her attention firmly fixed on Nick.

He chuckled, flipping the burgers on the grill. "The game room, hun," he answered.

The one downside to the house was that the basement had two center rooms in the basement that didn't have any windows to let in natural light. Nick had immediately been put on edge, and Sara had assured him that they would do something fun with those rooms so they could make happy memories. One of the rooms had been deemed the 'theater.' They didn't have the money yet, but one day, they planned to buy a large plasma HDTV and some plush seating and a kick ass projection unit. The other had been deemed 'the game room.' Which Greg was now calling the arcade.

"Do you remember when the arcade in the mall was going out of business?" Greg asked. Sara nodded. "Well, I heard through a friend of a friend that the games were being sold really cheap -" Sara rolled her eyes "-and I didn't tell you before now because I knew you'd roll your eyes at me. But I bought them anyway. How could I not? Of course, after I got them home, I realized that unless I got rid of my bedroom all together, I wouldn't have the room. And rather than selling the games, I put them in a storage unit. Nick said we could set 'em up here in the games room."

Catherine turned to look at Sara dramatically. "We're never going to see them again - at least, not outside of work. You do know this, right?"

"We are so gonna sound proof that room," she sighed. "And we might not see Warrick or Greg outside of work, but Nick's not gonna get out of diaper duty or three am feeding and changings."

He smiled sideways at Sara. "Wouldn't dream of it."

Warrick chuckled. "Say that with a straight face when you're elbow deep in poopy diapers."

"This is gonna be perfect," Lindsay summed up, taking attention away from the diaper talk. "An arcade, a theater, a gym, and a pool. All you'd need is a massage therapist and a shopping mall and you'd never have to leave the house!"

Catherine chuckled. "That's my girl. Always thinking about the mall."

"Sorry I'm late," Gil said, announcing his arrival as he stepped onto the deck. "Hope you don't mind but I let myself in."

"Not at all," Sara smiled. "Have a seat."

He smiled gratefully, sitting down in the vacant chair.

"What's in the bag, Uncle Gil?" Lindsay asked curiously peaking into the bag.

"A gift?" she batted her eyelashes. "But it's not even my birthday."

Gil chuckled. "No, that's right. Your birthday is in a few weeks. And believe me, you're going to love your gift." On the inside, he could feel himself sweating buckets. He hadn't even started to think of a gift for Catherine's daughter. "This," he lifted the bag on to the table, "is for the baby."

"You didn't have to get the baby anything," Nick smiled as he shut the lid on the BBQ, deeming it safe to leave the meat for a minute. "Thank you."

"Thank you, Gil," Sara echoed Nick's sentiments.

He shook his head smiling. "You don't have to thank me." After a minute, he motioned to the package, unable to hide his excitement. "Open it, please."

"OK," Sara smiled as she reached for the bag and tried to hand it to Nick.

"Go ahead," he told her.

She ripped the packaging paper out of the gift bag and then removed the box from the bag itself. "A Bug mobile?" she asked.

Catherine pursed her lips together in an effort to contain her laughter.

Sara's eyebrows were furrowed as she looked at the generic brown box with a picture of what the mobine looked like. The bugs looked way too real. Maybe this would put Grissom to sleep, but she sure as hell wouldn't subject her child to that kind of torture.

"Um, thanks," she smiled, biting her lip, trying to think of a tactful way of saying 'thanks, but no.'

Grissom looked at Nick expectantly, waiting for a response from him.

Lindsay rolled her eyes and muttered 'poor kid,' which 'caused Warrick and Greg to each loose the little bit of composure that they had as they bust out laughing.

Finally, Grissom chuckled himself. "Relax, guys," he smirked. He took the box from Sara's hands and opened it up, pulling out the contents. It really was a mobile, just not of realistic bugs. Though in Grissom fashion, it did contain some of natures wonders. "The butterflies glow in the dark and the fireflies actually have little night lights in the wings."

Sara released a breath of air and chuckled in relief. "Oh, Thank God!" She fingered the mobile that Grissom was holding up. "It's perfect. Thank you."

"Thanks Bug Man - I mean, Boss Man," Nick smirked extending his hand for Grissom to take in a manly gesture.

"Lets eat!" Lindsay announced, ready to munch on some burgers and chips.

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The sun was beginning to set and the afternoon get together was slowly winding down.

"I'm glad their back," Grissom announced to his three team members that sat around the table. Nick and Sara were in their kitchen, at the sink, smiling and chuckling softly at something only they knew of.

"Me too," Greg smiled. "It's been really weird around here without them."

"Their back in Vegas man, but not at the Lab," Warrick reminded him.

"It's only a matter of time," he shrugged in indifference. "They both love what they do too much to stay away much longer."

"Don't count on it happening right away, Greg," Catherine sighed. "I don't think Sara will be back until after the baby is born -"

"Why?"

"Because," Grissom started, "her doctor told her to stay away from stress, and our jobs are full of it. Besides, even if she did come back, it wouldn't be long until she'd be taken out of the field and have to do paperwork and research for our cases. And you know Sara - she wouldn't like that. Which would fuel her stress. As far as Nick goes -- he's been through so much -"

"And working might help him move past it," Greg pointed out.

Grissom nodded his head. "Perhaps. But their returns aren't up to me. Sara would need consent from her doctor, which I doubt she'd get. And Nick, as per the guidelines at CSI, he is on mandatory time off right now. If and when he does decide it's time to come back, he'd have to go to a certain amount of counseling sessions before they'd even entertain the idea of him coming back. And it's not a guarantee that it'd happen." Grissom shrugged. "Lets just take it one day at a time, OK, Greggo?"

Greg nodded his head in agreement, turning his attention back to the window that let them look into the kitchen. Sara and Nick were now standing toe to toe, gazing into each other eyes smiling broadly, laughing at something. Nick lowered his head and captured Sara's lips in a short, but intense lip lock. "Looking at them, you'd never know that they've been apart."

Warrick nodded his head. Nick was definitely trying, that's for sure . . .

Grissom's cell rang and he unclipped it from his belt. "Hello? . . . Mmm hmm . . . have they hatched? . . . What does it look like? . . . . How long ago? . . . . I'll be there in twenty." He hung up the phone. "Duty calls," he sighed.

Greg's phone went off as Grissom stood up. "Sanders . . . she didn't? . . . . is she OK? . . . Good, at least it was a minor accident . . . the lab is backing up . . . three hours?!" he glanced at the others at the table with distaste. "Yeah, I'll be in shortly." He flipped the phone shut, effectively ending the call. "Is it just me or as the lab been shot to shit since I left?"

The three nodded their heads in agreement.

"Wendy got into a minor accident on the way into work. Just a fender bender, but she pinched the nerve in her neck. The new girl doesn't have her cell phone on, and the lab tech that is there now has been by himself for the last three hours. They are severly backed up, so it looks like I'll be stuck there tonight until the other Lab techs are contacted."

"Lets hope it's a slow night," Warrick commented.

"Need a ride?" Grissom asked.

Greg nodded his head. "I got a ride with Cath and Warrick."

Grissom nodded his head. "We'll see you at the start of shift."

Just as the two men were about to enter the house, Nick and Sara appeared.

"You guys leaving?" Nick asked.

"Party time is over," Greg sighed. "Labs backed up. They need me."

"I'm needed on a consult," Grissom answered. "See you two soon?"

"Bet on it," Nick smiled, once again shaking Grissom's hand.

"Thanks again for the mobile, Gil," Sara reached up and gave him a hug. "It really is adorable."

"We're gonna have to set up a day to get the arcade up," Greg told Nick.

"Not before the sound proofing is done," Sara told them. "Sorry boys. It's just gonna have to wait."

"Aw," Greg pouted like a two year old, "but mom . . ." he whined.

Sara chuckled. "Nope. Not gonna work."

"But mooooom, all the other kids have them!"

Sara laughed. "God, I hope we don't have to deal with that whining for a long, LONG time," she rubbed her back a little.

Nick chuckled. "Go sit down with Warrick and Catherine," he told her. "I'll see these two out."

Sara smiled at Nick. "Bye you two."

"Bye."

She stepped out of the patio door to rejoin the remaining guests who were watching Lindsay swimming in the pool. "Just like a fish, huh?"

"She's gonna be begging me to build one now," Catherine sighed. "I hope you realize she'll be over here a lot."

Sara smiled. "She's welcome over any time she wants." The smile slowly disappeared from her lips. "So . . . ?" she looked at the two expectantly . . . "Is it just me? Am I making too big of a deal out of this?"

Warrick shook his head. "I noticed it."

"Me too," Catherine sighed. "I think Gil is picking up on it, too. But Greg . . . I just think he's thrilled that the two of you are back that he's blind to everything else, despite the fact that he's a CSI trained to see these things."

Sara sighed. "I hoped it was just me."

"Sara, were you expecting that everything would just go back to normal?" Catherine asked gently.

She shook her head. "No, I didn't. I mean, I guess a part of me hoped, but I know deep down that there is no way this hasn't effected him. I just don't know how to bring it up, you know? The smallest things make him mad right now, and I just don't want to set him off or put pressure on him that he can't handle."

"You walking on egg shells trying not to piss him off isn't good for you, either," Warrick pointed out.

Sara rested her head in her hands and sighed. "It just don't know what to do. I've tried to bring it up, to slowly get him to start opening up, but he shuts it right down. Just deflects the conversation somewhere else, and when I won't let it go, he either fights harder to steer the conversation in another direction, or he leaves the room, saying something has to be done. I want him to talk to me. Not to feel like I'm pushing him."

"He slips in and out, doesn't he?" Catherine asked quietly, trying to make sure that Lindsay didn't over hear, and to make sure that if Nick came back, he wouldn't hear the topic of their conversation. "Like he's paying attention and having a good time one minute, the same old Nick, and then the next, he's checked out, in his own world . . ."

"Every day," she shrugged. "I know he just came back to us. And I know that there is no magical cure, but . . . I just wish . . . ." the tears started to fall and she tried to regulate her breathing with deep, relaxed and controlled breaths. "He's not sleeping. I think he manages to get a few minutes here and there . . . but I always fall asleep before he does, and he's up and accomplished more before I wake up than I can during the day." She glanced back inside the house, making sure that Nick wasn't back yet. "Yesterday morning, I woke up and he had retiled the entire bathroom in the basement. I know that it was unfinished, but it was a big job. And this morning, I woke up, and he was on the roof, cleaning the gutters. And they weren't even dirty."

"Well figure something out," Warrick told her, then sat back in his chair as he noticed Nick's figure reappearing in the house. "So, we made this man out of jelly, and when Catherine saw us, she wasn't happy. Asking if we knew how much it all cost . . . then proceeded to help us dress the guy and find out what electrocuted him. Turns out, his watch is what did him in. The tires on the jeep would've grounded him, but the metal in his watch was touching the metal of the jeeps frame and he was fried."

"Talking about the case that the three of us had just before Greggo officially became a Level 1?" Nick asked, stepping out on the deck, not having the slightest clue as to what they'd just been talking about . . . . . .

CSICSICSICSICSICSI . . . .

_Laying in the back of the SUV, he felt his body sway violently with the motion of the vehicle. His head pounding with a migraine, a bump on his forehead becoming hot and hard. Adrenaline pumped through his veins, his blood boiling. With his hands bound tightly together behind his back, he knew he was in a bad situation. When the noise under the tires changes from the smooth whir of the pavement to the crunchy noise of what sounds like loose gravel, he manuveres himself into an upright position. When the vehicle brakes, then comes to a complete stop, he hears the driver get out of the vehicle and closes the door. Instinctively, he raises his legs - whether to kick the partition that was separating him from the other part of the vehicle, or to kick his assailant, he wasn't sure -- and he wasn't able to find out. Suddenly, a cloth was held over his mouth. In shock, his legs dropped down, but still struggling as best he could . . . but the chloroform did it's job, rendering him unconcious . . . _

Bolting up right, sweat pouring down from his forehead, he rans a hand over his exhausted eyes which were begging him to give in. He glanced to Sara to reassure himself that he was back where he belonged - with her. Smiling a little, he took a deep breath, falling back on the pillows. Sleep pulled at his heavy lids, but he refused to give in. Every time he did, he had a dream. A nightmare, actually. Of what had happened. Sometimes it was bits and pieces of what happened. An event or two. Sometimes it was flashes of different things. But no matter what - the outcome was the same. He'd bolt up right in bed, his heart pounding furiously in his chest, sweating profusely.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up, pulling the sheets and comforter back across the mattress. He padded his way into the kitchen and reached into the small wine refrigerator which was stocked with his beer. Knowing that she had no reason to go into the wine cooler, because of the pregnancy, he knew it was safe to hide them there. He pulled out a small pill bottle, unscrewing the lid and grabbing two of the pills. He quickly replaced the cap on the bottle before grabbing a can of Coke Zero from the refrigerator and popping the tab. Glancing at the digital clock on the microwave, he noticed the time read 12:23 am.

He swallowed the pills without a second thought before placing his hands on his hips and looking around. What needed to be done now?

TBC . . . .


	25. Chapter 25

OK, so this has been a work in progress for a very, VERY long time! I'm once again sorry for the delay. I'm hoping to get back to updating on a regular basis Crosses fingers and toes Thanks so much for the reviews, and to those that sent me PMs asking when I was updating, proving that you guys hadn't forgotten about my story. :) Thanks so much for that, and all the well wishes, hoping that I'm feeling better. Your support means so much to me. :)

I disclaim . . .

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Sara was drawn out of her sleep by the sound of an electric drill down the hall. Her tired eyes were assaulted by the sunlight filtering into the bedroom through the blinds. Blinking a few times, adjusting her sensitive eyes, she glanced at the clock. "7:48," she sighed. She rolled over on to her side, then used her hands to push herself into an upright position. Placing her feet on the hardwood floors, she propelled herself upwards and sleepily made her way out of the master bedroom and down the hall towards the noise.

"Morning," she yawned, stretching her back a bit. Nick looked up at her, clearly startled by her sudden presense, but the smile took over his face.

"Morning sleepy head," he greeted, standing up and placing a kiss on her lips, then bending down and rubbing her belly, placing a kiss above her belly button.

"You've got primer in your hair," she commented quietly, picking at the white specs in his brown hair.

"The window in the nursery is open, so the fumes shouldn't be too bad," he told her, avoiding to look in her eyes. He turned back to the changing table that he was putting together.

"I could've helped with that, you know," she said quietly, easing herself down into the maple rocking chair, pointing to the now put together crib, dresser, and changing table.

"It's not difficult," he told her quickly, wanting to put an end to the conversation that he knew she was trying to start.

"That's not the point," she told him directly.

He sighed, dropping the electric drill onto the cardboard box that had housed the separate pieces for the change table. "It's not a big deal, Sara. It's done."

He walked through the opened door and into the hallway. He turned the knob of the nursery, stepping inside and letting his finger tips brush against the surface, checking to see if wall was dry.

"What do you mean it's not a big deal?" she said, standing up and following him into the nursery. She stopped dead in her tracks. The room already painted in a coat of the soft yellow that they'd agreed on. "Did you sleep at all last night?"

Nick's head snapped towards Sara, the anger in his eyes flashing. "What? I put together the furniture and primed and started to paint in here, and there isn't even so much as a 'thank you'?"

Her shoulders slumped, and tears filled her eyes. "That doesn't answer my question, Nicholas."

"Nicholas?" he repeated. "Since when do you call me Nicholas? Only my parents ever called me Nicholas, and that was only when I was in trouble!" His voice was steadily climbing in volume.

"You ARE in trouble!" she matched his tone, her own voice rising. "You aren't sleeping. It's not good for you."

"Well, you know what, Sara? Things HAVE to get done around here before the baby comes!"

She gasped. The tone of his voice was almost resentful. "Are you upset that I'm pregnant?" she asked him, her posture stiffening.

He looked at her in shock for a moment, realizing how his statement must've sounded. He tone softened. "No. I'm not. I love you and I love our baby, Sara. But things are happening so fast. Everything is changing and there isn't any time!"

She heard the panic in his voice. She stepped forward and gently cupped his face in the palms of her hands. "We have time, Nick. The baby isn't due for a few months. We'll figure it all out by then, OK?"

He closed his eyes, leaning into her touch.

"Nick, we need to talk about this," she told him gently as she dropped her hands from his face, one of her hands finding his. She gently lead them out of the nursery and into the hallway.

He knew what they needed to talk about. He knew he couldn't avoid it forever, but he'd tried. "I can't," he whispered, unable to look her in the eye.

"Why, Nick?" she asked him, just as softly, and not judging him.

"Because I don't want to remember. Because I don't want to tell you. Just . . . because."

Her head dipped down lower so she could look him in the eye. "I want to help you."

"You can't."

"Can I at least try?" she pleaded. "I miss you Nick. When you were gone, all I wanted was for you to come back. And I'm beyond thrilled that you are here. Physically, you're fine. But emotionally? I don't know. We aren't connecting like we used to. I need you to trust me."

Deep down, he knew she was right. "I miss you, too," he admitted softly, a few tears escaping his lids as she pulled him closer to her. "Everything has changed, Sara. It's not what it used to be. We aren't what we used to be."

"Things happen and people change," she said, still holding him in her arms, rocking back and forth. "It doesn't mean that we have to grow apart."

"I don't know what to do to get back to where we were."

"Talk to me," she suggested, slightly pulling back and wiping the stray tears away from his eyes. "Let me in."

"I already told you," he sighed, pulling out of her embrace, the wall building back up. "I can't."

"You're not sleeping," she informed him after a few minutes of silence. "I know you're throwing yourself into these projects so you don't have to sleep. So you don't have to dream about it. I get it. But not dealing with it isn't going to do you any favors. You're exhausted. And you're going to end up hurting yourself."

"Or you and the baby," his voice was cold, but not loud. Almost a harsh whisper. And it was a statement. A matter of fact. Nothing accusatory about it.

She looked down at her hands which had wound themselves together in a tight nervous ball. She forced her hands apart, her left hand reaching over into his lap and taking his right hand. She looked at him for a moment, not saying anything. But when he looked up at her, he knew that she loved him. It was in her eyes. "Maybe," she shrugged. "But I don't believe that you would hurt either of us purposefully. But right now, you're lack of sleep and avoiding the issue is hurting you. And that hurts me. And that hurts us, as a couple and as a soon to be family," she placed his hand on her stomach, smiling slightly when she could see a sparkle in Nick's eye as he felt his son or daughter moving around.

"Active this morning, huh?" he smirked.

She nodded. "Hungry," she stated. "Wants a tomato omlette. What about Daddy?"

"An omlette sounds good," he assured her.

"Good. Why don't you jump in the shower and by the time your done, the omlette's will be ready?"

He nodded his head, then leaned in to give her a soft kiss.

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They sat in silence, eating their omlettes. She tried to pretend that she was reading the Entertainment section of the newspaper, but knew she'd be horribly busted if he asked what was going on in the world of Television, movies, or celebrity life in general. She was skimming the pages, more so to make it appear as though she were actually interested. But rather than actually reading the words, she kept glancing at Nick out of the corner of her eye.

"What're you looking at, Sidle?" he asked not even glancing up to look at her. But the tone of his voice conveyed that he was amused.

"You," she answered, smiling. She closed the entertainment section, then folded it up and placed it in the center of the table. "Thinking about how gorgeous you are. How lucky I am."

He smiled at her, then glanced down at the table, blushing slightly. "It's the other way around. I'm the lucky one. Not many women could be, or would be, as understanding as you are."

"Can I get that in writing?" she joked as she stood up.

He grabbed her hand in mid air, preventing her from picking up any of the dishes that they were finished with. "C'mere," he instructed softly as he pulled her onto his lap. Placing his arms around her waist, hugging her, he rested his head against her shoulder, sighing. "I should've told you this sooner. You deserve to know." He looked up at her curious eyes. "Last night, when I was out front saying goodnight to Greg and Grissom, I pulled Gris aside for a second. I wanted to talk to him about going back to work.

"Are you sure you're ready?" she asked him softly.

He sighed.

_Flashback_

_Nick looked at the passenger side of Grissom's Department issued Denali. The windows were up, and the vehicle was running with the A/C blasting into the vehicle at maximum compacity. The rock music was turned up and aside from being able to hear some of the beats, and make out some of the lyrics, he was convinced Greg couldn't hear them because the rear-view and side-view mirrors were rattling._

_"What did you want to talk about?" Grissom asked, as usual, all business. He liked to get straight to the point._

_"I want to come back to work."_

_Grissom's mouth fell open in shock. "Nick, I -"_

_"I need too," he said, his voice pleading. _

_"I understand the need to stay busy," he acknowledged, "but it's too soon."_

_"No, it's not," Nick assured him. "I've thought about it a lot. Do you remember when I told you why I wanted to become a CSI?" Grissom nodded his head. "I wanted to pack heat, be the man. To make you think that I'm good at what I do -"_

_"And you are," he assured the man in front of him. _

_"I know," he smiled. "And I don't need your approval, anymore. Because I have my own. But since then, I've re-evaluated why I'm a CSI. I want to make the streets safer for the average person. I want kids to feel safe walking to school. I want to give families closure so they don't have questions hanging over their heads as to where their loved ones are, or why they died. It's not always easy knowing the answer, but at least they can move on and not constantly be wondering." He glanced back at the Denali and saw that Greg was now chatting on his cell phone, not paying attention to them. He then glanced at the door to make sure they weren't being watched, or could be over-heard. He looked Grissom square in the eye. "What happened to me shouldn't have happened. It was wrong. And it would be so easy to just curl up into a ball and not face it. Gris, I've thought about packing my bags and leaving for good."_

_"What about Sara and the baby?"_

_"They are the reason why I haven't left. Sometimes I think that Sara would be better off raising our child alone because I feel incapable of taking care of myself, let alone someone else. But I love Sara more than I love my own life. And our baby . . . is our baby. I've always wanted to be a father, and I can't imagine a better mother for my children than her. I want to experience that with her. But more than that, I want to make sure that creeps out there, who wander the streets won't be able to hurt my child. If I leave, how can I protect them?"_

_Grissom could read between the lines. Nick was in a catch 22. He wanted to leave so he could just create a new life and not face or deal with the pain that haunts him from his past. But his future included a loving partner and a child that he'd always dreamed of. How could he desert that?_

_He nodded his head. "I look forward to the day when you start back up on the team again Nick. You're irreplaceable. Both you and Sara will have your spots with us just as soon as you two are ready."_

_"Sara isn't ready," he said quickly. "I don't want her to jeopardize her health or the babys health. And I don't think she wants to come back until after the baby is born anyway."_

_"I understand," Grissom said. "And I agree. Like you, I don't think she should come back. But I don't think you're ready to come back, either." He knew that Nick was about to fight him. "And besides that, the department requires you to go to counseling. After that, the counsellor will have to give you clearance to go back into the field. I can't just reinstate you, Nick. But I'm more than willing to help the process along. I'll get you all the information that you need, help you decided on a counsellor. But I'm not the one who has the final decision on this."_

_Nick sighed, looking down and kicking at the paved driveway. _

_"And you're going to have to talk to Sara about this," he said evenly. He looked over at Nick. "You haven't, have you?"_

_End flashback_

"So," she said quietly, still sitting on his lap, "why didn't you tell me you wanted to go back?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. I guess maybe I thought that you would try and talk me out of it."

"And why is that?" she asked him, once again very quietly.

"I know you've been trying to get me to talk about what happened for a while now, and I know I kept shutting you out. And that I still am. And because of that, you'd probably think that I'm not ready to go back."

"You're right," she acknowledged. "I don't think you're ready. Not yet, anyway." She played with a lock of his brown hair. "What do you want to do?"

"What do you think I should do?" he countered.

She shook her head. "This is about you, Nick. And how you need to deal with this." She knew her words disappointed him. "You're not doing yourself any favors by keeping it bottled up."

He nodded his head slightly. "OK. I'll give it a try."

"You'll go to counselling?" she asked him hopefully, a smile tugging at her lips.

He nodded his head apprehensively at first, then more and more as the decision agreed with him. "Yeah. I'll go."

She smiled broadly as she leaned in and hugged him tightly. "I'll be with you every step of the way. Whatever you need, just tell me, OK?"

He nodded his head in appreciation before lifting his chin and puckering his lips to kiss her sweetly.

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Nick reached his hand out and shook the counsellors hand. "Thank you for seeing me on such short notice."

"I was glad to do it," Dr. Drake insisted, smiling politely. "I have immense respect for law enforcement and knowing what you've been through, I'm honored that you chose me to help you through it."

Nick nodded his head, though his teeth ground together. "You know what I've been through?" he asked, sarcasm dripping from his words, though the doctor didn't seem to pick up on it.

"Oh yes," he nodded his head enthusiastically and then began to explain how he, and the rest of Las Vegas, knew of what had happened because of media coverage. How they were all so terribly upset when he was believed to be dead, and how everyone was joyful when they learned he was alive and well.

"A case like yours is very unique. It presents interesting challenges, but a person of your character should be able to over come and triumph above it. I feel confident, that with my help, you will succeed in your quest."

Nick nodded his head and smiled politely. The man was obviously in this for his own reasons, intent on using Nick's case as a way to move his way up in the counselling world, to gain notoriety. He wasn't actually interested in helping. He was only in this for his own selfish reasons. How could he stick with it and stay with the guy until the department deemed him able to go back to work? It could take months, and Nick already wanted to take the guy out back and give him a Texas sized ass-whoppin'.

"So I understand that the decision to attend counselling was a difficult one?"

Nick nodded his head tensely.

"What was the motivating factor to take the leap of faith?"

"I want to go back to work. And I'm doing it for my family," he answered, not wanting to get into this with a man he already hated. With a man who he felt viewed him as a science experiment. "I'm doing this for Sara," he told the man honestly. And he kept repeating it in his head as a way to affirm that he needed to stick with it. She needed to know that he was getting help. She needed to feel that their lives would gain some normalcy again. She needed to feel safe . . . 'I'm doing this for Sara, I'm doing this for Sara, I'm doing this for Sara . . .' he chanted in his mind, over and over again . . .

TBC . . .

A/N -- TWO WEEKS TO THE PREMIERE!! squeals in delight


	26. Chapter 26

I'm REALLY sorry that this has taken me so long. My muse has kind of been hiding on me. I know exactly where I want this story to go, and how it will end, I just don't quite know how to get it there. I'm sure a number of you fantastic fic writers out there can understand.

Once again, thanks so much for the kind reviews, and to everyone who has sent me a PM asking when I was going to update, proving that you guys once again have not forgotten about this story makes my day(s) a little brighter.

And to all those Canadian readers, I hope that you had a Happy Thanksgiving. I sure did (despite having to work).

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A month later, Sara busied herself in the kitchen waiting for Nick to call after his appointment with Dr. Drake. Though he had told her that he wasn't really a fan of the doctor, he promised that he would keep going and try and push past the unease that he felt. He'd reasoned that his dislike for the man was because he wasn't trusting knew people easily these days.

There was a low knock on the front door that startled her. She laughed slightly at herself, her hand against her heart as she felt the pounding beneath.

"Who is it?" she called, walking out of the kitchen and towards the front door.

"It's Kelly," the voice called back.

"Oh," Sara smiled. "Come on in, the doors open."

When the heavy wooden door opened, the woman stepped inside and out of the bright sunlight. "Hi," she greeted kindly.

"Where are the kids?" Sara asked as she nodded her head for Kelly to follow her back to the kitchen.

"Olivia had a play date and Elliot is at a soccer game with his father," she smiled.

"Ah, so the house is sitting there, empty, no noise and you felt the urge to leave?" Sara smirked. Kelly had fast become a good friend. She lived just down the street from her and Nick, and she'd felt an instant connection with the woman.

"I know," Kelly smiled. "I always say that I want some peace and quiet, and as soon as I get it, I feel the need to find someone to talk to." She wandered over to the cupboard and found herself a drinking glass before opening the fridge and finding herself a cool beverage.

Sara smiled at the sight. She'd never really been a particularly outgoing person and had always found it difficult to forge friendships. But with Kelly, things just sort of fell into place. And she finally felt like she had someone that she could confide in outside of the office. In her line of work, and the hours which she worked, had always made it difficult to create relationships.

"So how're you feeling?" Kelly asked, sitting down at the kitchen table and bringing her feet up to rest on the seat of the chair directly across from her.

Sara eased herself down into another chair at the table and sighed, her hand resting on her lower back. "Sore. Tired."

Kelly smiled. "Tired and sore will last for about another 18 years. Once you're a mother, you can't escape it."

"Oh great," Sara smirked, then laughed a little. She couldn't wait to finally be able to hold her baby in her arms. She was really looking forward to it. Although she believe Kelly, and Catherine, when they told her that motherhood was one of the most rewarding experiences ever, but that it could also be one of the hardest.

"So where's Nick?" she asked, noting the still quiet in the Stokes/Sidle home.

"At his appointment," Sara offered. Nick knew that she needed to confide in someone who was detached from the situation, so that left out all the regular people in their lives: his family and their friends at the lab. Being that he knew she needed to talk to someone, he'd agreed that it was OK for her to talk to Kelly. He trusted her as well, and knew how much it helped Sara to be able to vent. He was slowly starting to realize that his ordeal hadn't just affected him. On some level, he'd always known that . . . but he was finally able to recognize that while Sara hadn't been the one taken, and believed dead, she had emotional scars from it as well, and was healing as best she could. He knew that it had taken Sara a long time to get to a point where she could willingly speak about a troublesome issue, and while he wanted desperately to be able to talk to her about it, he just wasn't ready . . . but he didn't want her to bottle it all up inside. It wasn't good. For her or the baby.

"How that going?" Kelly asked as she leaned forward and took a cookie off the plate that was in the center of the table.

Sara shrugged. "He doesn't really say. I keep telling myself that it's just going to take time . . . the healing process is going to be long and slow and as much as I want to help him, he needs to be able to come to terms with this however it works best for him. And if that means he won't tell me until he's ready, then I'm OK with that. At least he's getting help, right? Talking to someone . . . "

Kelly smiled sympathetically at Sara. Though she had never been in Sara shoes and felt confident saying that not many people had been, or ever would be, she could tell how much it hurt Sara that Nick still wasn't able to talk to her about what had happened. She leaned forward and placed her hand on top of Sara's. "He loves you. Anyone who sees the way that he looks at you can tell." Her own husband was a Doctor and saw some horrible sights when he was working as a Trauma doctor, and when he came home, she could tell if something had affected him. Even though she never felt like she'd helped him, he'd assured her that her just being there had been the best medicine he could've asked for. "You're love is going to get him through this."

Sara swallowed the tears that were threatening to build up as she forced a smile and nodded. "I hope so."

The loud shrill noise of a child screaming caused Kelly to groan and Sara to laugh.

"Sounds like Liv is back from her play date," Kelly said, standing up and taking her glass over to the sink. "I guess I have to go back home and be mom again."

Sara smiled at the woman. "You're lucky you know that?" She stood up. "You've got a wonderful husband and two healthy children . . ."

"Nick's a pretty great guy, too . . . " Kelly smiled. "And if Mark looked like him, well, I'd never let him leave . . ."

Sara's laugh lit up her face as she walked Kelly to the door.

After closing the door behind Kelly, the smile disappeared off Sara's face. She couldn't shake the feeling that something was going on that Nick wasn't telling her about. She hadn't said a word to anyone about it because she didn't even know what it could possibly be . . . she glanced at her watch. "What's keeping you, Nick?"

As if on cue, the phone rang. She wandered back to the kitchen and picked the cordless phone off the cradle. "Hello?"

"Hey gorgeous," Nick greeted. She could tell that he was smiling just from the tone of his voice.

"Hey sexy," she smiled back. "You're in a great mood."

"Guess who I ran into?"

"Who?" she asked.

"Kenny."

"Kenny?" she asked . . . she remembered the name, but she couldn't figure out from where or why . . .

"Kenny," he reaffirmed. "He's my old Rebel baseball buddy."

"Oh," she sighed, remembering it clearly now. "Kenny." Kenny had been the one that Nick had mentioned the term Murder Central too, and it had ended up comprimising the case. She met the guy once a few months after the incident and did not like him at all. There was something off about him, and Nick knew that she did not like spending time with the guy . . .

"He's in town for the night, so we thought we'd grab a beer and catch up. Is that OK with you?"

Sara laughed a little. "Nick, it's fine."

"Are you sure? I won't if you don't want me too . . . you haven't started dinner yet, have you? If you have, I'll just come home . . ."

"No, Nick," she smiled. "I haven't started dinner yet. You and Kenny have fun, OK? But not too much," she warned playfully, rolling her eyes at herself.

"I won't," he assured. "I have the most beautiful woman in the world to come home too. But Kenny, on the other hand . . . well, he's still on the prowl."

Sara chuckled. Yeah, she'd pegged him as a skirt chaser, too . . . "I won't wait up, OK?"

"Thanks, Babe. I love you," he told her.

"I love you, too," she smiled. "Bye."

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Nick hit the end button his cell phone, then stared at the power button. He contemplated for a second before hitting it, turning the technology off.

Motioning to the waitress, she came around and set another beer glass down the table. "Just add it to my tab," he instructed dully. He felt guilty for lying. Lying that he was with Kenny, lying about how the appointments were going. He'd been vague, but still, he knew it was out right lying . . . but he just couldn't face it. Not tonight. He had failed. Feeling the little object that bounced loosely in his jeans pocket, he felt as though the jewel was mocking him for all that he was loosing, and would never get back. Dr. Drake was a quack and he didn't see how speaking with the man would enable him to deal with what he'd been through . . . but how could he tell Sara that he wasn't the man that she thought he was? That he wasn't as strong as she believed him to be . . . He couldn't bare to see the disappointment in her eyes . . .

So, he guzzled the glass of beer, then slammed the mug down on the table with a loud clang, though the noise was disguised by the loud chatter and TVs in the sports lounge. "Waitress!" he called, motioning to his empty mug that sat next to three others . . .

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The phone rang again as she dug around in the refrigerator, looking for some left overs to heat up and have for dinner.

She grabbed the phone off the counter and answered it distractedly as she continued on her search. "Hello?"

"Hi," Catherine's happy voice greeted her.

"Oh, hey, Cath," Sara responded. "What's up?"

"Well, Warrick and I both are lucky enough to have the night off and thought we'd see if you and Nicky wanted to go out for a bite?"

"That's sweet," she smiled, "but Nick just called a little while ago. Kenny is in town for the night, and they bumped into each other. He called to say they were going out to catch up."

"Oh," Catherine answered, glancing at Warrick. "Well, that's OK. Our invitation extends to you, even without Nick."

She stopped her search of the fridge, shutting the door, convinced that nothing in it was tempting. "I think I might just take you up on that. Where should I meet you guys?"

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Sara bobbed and weaved her way through the crowded Buffet restaurant inside the Casino, smiling broadly at her friends as she approached the table, noticing another dining companion. "Hey," she greeted them. "I didn't know you were coming Greg."

"Neither did I," he shrugged, taking a sip of water.

"Sorry?" Sara questioned, glancing from Greg to Warrick and Catherine.

"Grissom called," Warrick supplied. "He wanted to talk to us all. I told him that you were on your way here to meet us, so he and Greg are on 'official' team business tonight by joining us."

She nodded her head. "OK . . ." she wasn't really sure what to think. "Have either of you called Nick?" Everyone shook their heads no. "I'll call," she started to dial, but Catherine's hand reached out and gently stopped her from completing the call. "What's going on?"

"He asked us to not call Nick," Warrick admitted quietly.

Sara dropped her cell phone onto the hard table top, and leaned back in the booth. "Why?"

Grissom breezed up to the table, taking a seat. "Sorry to keep you all waiting."

Sara narrowed her eyes at Grissom, feeling like she was betraying Nick. "Why are we having a team meeting without Nick?"

Grissom rubbed his eyes. "Technically, at this point, he's not a member of the team."

"Neither am I," she said, angered that Grissom would have a meeting behind Nick's back. A part of her knew that there had to be a logical explanation. But the loyalty she felt to Nick made her want to get up and leave the table.

Grissom sighed. "Look, this isn't exactly about the team, Sara. It's about Nick. I could get into a lot of trouble for this."

"For what?" Catherine sat straight up. "Gil, what's going on?"

Grissom pinched the bridge of his nose and spoke softly towards Sara. "I probably should've just spoken with Nick about this, but since I feel that would be useless, I probably should've just come to speak with you, but –"

Her voice was even and controlled, but low enough where it was clear that if he didn't just come out and say it, she was going to loose her patience. "Stop beating around the bush."

"I feel that you will need support, and help figuring out what to do about this. What we have to do about this."

"Gris!" Warrick prompted.

"I've been waiting for Dr. Drake's decision on whether or not Nick can come back to work, and –"

"Woah," Sara cut him off. She took a deep breath. "Nick loves us all, but I know that he wouldn't want everyone to hear this. This is extremely emotional territory."

"I know," Grissom told her. "And that is why I would've just come to you about this . . . but like I was saying, I was waiting for Dr. Drake's decision, and it should've been on my desk a couple of days ago . . . it never came. So I put a call in to him to see if there was some sort of delay with the paperwork. He was confused and when I asked him if Nick had completed the six sessions the lab requires him to before he comes back to work –"

"Which he has," Sara said. "Nick told me."

"Dr. Drake said that he hasn't seen Nick since he completed the first session, Sara."

Cath, Warrick and Greg looked at one another, stunned, before turning their attention to a shocked Sara.

She shook her head. "No, he said he's been going. There must be some sort of mix up. Maybe there are two Dr. Drakes?"

Grissom sighed. "No, Sara, there is no mix up."

She shook her head violently, tears springing to her eyes. "No, this has to be wrong. There has to be some kind of mistake." She leaned forward, her head in her hands as her elbows rested on the table. A few tears escaped her eyes. "Why would he lie to me?"

No one had the answer. And they weren't sure that Nick would really have an answer either. It wasn't a secret that he wasn't really thinking things completely through these days. He was acting more on impulse and the desire to feel safe and secure – even if that meant he would prolong his own emotional anguish.

Catherine stood up and walked around Gil's chair to Sara's side of the booth. She extended her hand to the woman. "C'mon," she nodded her head, helping Sara out of the booth. "We'll be back in a minute."

"Cath, you don't have to baby me," Sara stuttered, trying to get control of her emotions.

"I'm not babying you," she insisted. "But I am going to make sure that you calm down. Right now, we don't have the answers, but you need to relax for both you and the baby."

"You're right," Sara conceded, allowing Catherine to guide them towards the bathrooms. "I guess I do have to pee, anyway."

Catherine smirked. Oh, the joys of pregnancy.

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"What do you guys think Nick's been doing when he was supposed to be at his sessions?" Greg asked.

Warrick shrugged. "Hopefully not getting himself into trouble." Vegas was full of temptation, and even for someone who was used to resisting, it could pretty difficult to turn away when you needed a distraction. From gambling, to booze, to sex, to anything one could possibly want, it was all available – all one had to do was ask.

"The real question is what does Nick need of us to help him through this?" Grissom posed.

"No," Greg argued, shaking his head, "the real question is will he let us help him?"

Warrick let out a low whistle and gently shook his head, his attention focused at a black jack table which sat next to a row of noisy slot machines.

"What?" Grissom turned his attention to look in the same direction. "Oh, Nicky . . ."

The Texan sat at the black jack table, throwing down money and picking up cards, ordering the dealer to 'hit me' . . . and any time one of the bar maids came around with a tray of complimentary drinks for the gamblers, he grabbed whatever it was they were offering, knocking it back like a pro.

"Oh, don't look now, but here come the girls," Greg announced quietly, seeing the girls leaving the ladies restroom.

"This could get ugly," Warrick commented.

"Maybe I should leave – get Nick. Sara probably needs some time to get her thoughts in order before she talks to him about this . . ."

"And that's probably a discussion that they should have in private," Grissom acknowledged.

Greg nodded. "Alright, I'll say a quick goodnight then, I'll get Nick outta here."

"So, what've you boys been talking about in our absence?" Catherine smiled, batting her eyelashes towards the men, then break out into a fit of giggles. Upon the strange looks she received from them, she sat back a bit. "What? I've had one margarita. It's my night off. Am I not allowed to have a little fun? Even if it does make me a little odd?"

The men all chuckled nervously.

The shrill sound of an elderly lady screaming in excitement caught nearly everyone's attention as they turned to look at the slot machines. The red light above her was going off, signifying that she'd won a substantial amount of money, and many on lookers had gathered closer to her, smiling in awe.

Sara smiled, "the casino will have all that money back by morning," she shook her head. Just as she was about to bring her attention back to her friends, a man in the crowd gathered around the elderly lady moved and Sara caught sight of Nick, who was unaffected by the excitement going on around him.

Without so much as saying a word to her friends, her legs took on a mind of their own as she stalked towards the man that she loved, the man that had been lying to her, for some answers.

TBC . . .


	27. Chapter 27

First off, once again, I am so sorry for the lack of updating. My muse is slowly coming back, but life gets in the way - especially when everything goes wrong! LOL! Secondly, I wanted to make it known, which I didn't in the last chapter, that Kelly, Nick and Sara's neighbor is not Kelly Gordon. It's another Kelly. It's actually the name of one of the readers of this story - Hi, Kelly:)

Just a quick statement: While in the process of writing this chapter, a family friend was in a car accident. She has no family, and no one in our community that she feels closer to than my parents, sister and I, so she has been heavily relying on us. With a broken arm, and her other arm bandaged and without a good portion of skin, we have been very busy helping her with her recovery which is why this update is took about a week longer than it should have.

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"Shit!" Warrick cursed as he slid out of the booth quickly before Catherine could sit back down - not that she would. She was watching Sara's sudden exit, shocked, and unable to see why she was leaving.

"What's going on?" Catherine asked as Greg and Grissom stood up and began to walk behind Warrick quickly. She kept in step beside them, craning her neck around all the hoopla of the elderly winner at the slot machine.

"Nick's here. Drinking and gambling," Grissom informed her.

"I thought Sara said he was with Kenny tonight?" she said to herself.

Greg nodded his head. "Just one more lie."

Catherine sighed, "oh boy."

Sara knew that her blood was boiling and that she shouldn't jump to conclusions, but her hormones were raging and she was just so confused. She wanted to calm down, she wanted to take a step back and analyze the evidence before rushing to judgement, but her feet wouldn't stop. She couldn't not go to Nick . . .

She stopped only a few feet short of the table, unsure of where to start. Her imagination was running wild, and she knew if she spoke more than a few words at a time, her voice would betray her and Nick would know just how upset and confused she was. And though she wanted to just rip him up one side and down the other before he couldn't even so much as utter "hi," she knew it would put him on the defensive.

She opened her mouth to speak, but couldn't think of what to say. She studied him for a few moments, aware that Grissom, Catherine, Warrick and Greg were behind her, only a few feet away, unsure of what to do, but unable to look away. She tried again, only this time, her words caught in her throat. Instead, she opted to just clear her throat to get his attention.

"Ahem," she croaked out, managing to match it with a lop-sided, uneasy smile – and a look that said, 'I want some answers, now, please.'

His attention wavered from his cards on the green velvet table and his eyes met Sara's. "Oh!" he was utterly shocked, his eyes wild. "What're you doing here?"

She smiled a little more forcefully, biting her tongue. She wanted to loose her temper, but knew that wouldn't be a good thing. "Uh, I think the better question is what're you doing here?" She raised an eyebrow at him after he'd remained silent, not offering an answer. "I thought you were going to grab a beer with Kenny. Where is he, anyway, Nick?" She wanted to smack herself because she could even hear the edge that she had in her voice.

"He, uh, found some hot blond," Nick stuttered, knowing that it was pointless to lie, but unable to stop himself. The liquor he'd been consuming all night was giving him liquid courage. The Blackjack Dealer cleared his throat impatiently, getting both their attention. "Sir?"

"Ah," he shook his head, trying to rid himself of the cob webs that clouded his mind . . .

"Stay," Sara said through straight lips.

The Dealer glanced at Nick, and raised his eyebrows a second time. "Your Old Lady says to stay," he told Nick a second time. "What do you say?"

"Stay," he agreed, scratching his neck uncomfortably, glancing out the corner of his eye at Sara, whose eyes were glued to him. He forced his attention back to the Dealers hands.

The Dealer flipped the cards, producing Nick's first, and predictably, last winning hand of the night. "Smart Lady. Keep her," the Dealer whispered as he pushed Nick's small amount of winnings towards the man. He glanced over at Sara and knew that Nick was in for a rude awakening. "Good luck, man."

Nick nodded his head slightly, and managed a half smile. "Yeah, thanks." Standing up, Nick took a full stride over to Sara and leaned down to kiss her cheek as he would normally do. Even if she were upset with him, she'd never not let him to kiss her cheek. She wouldn't allow him to kiss her on the lips when she was upset, but the cheek was always fine . . . however, tonight, she looked down and took a step back.

His eyes fell to the floor and his head hung there limply. It took him a few minutes before he looked up and attempted to meet her angry stare. He could still see the love that she had for him, but her eyes had never raged quite like this before. Not even on their worst cases . . . and knowing how upset and emotional she'd been during a few of those, he'd known that he never wanted to be on the receiving end . . . only this time, he was - and he predicted it would be far worse than he could've ever imagined.

"I'm sorry," he breathed quietly.

"For what?" she asked just as quietly between clenched teeth. "For lying to me about going out with Kenny? For sitting here, gambling and drinking while I've been at home wondering how your session was going? For telling me you'd completed the necessary six that are mandatory before the Lab would even consider taking you back? For not going to any of the sessions except that one? For all of the above? What else are you sorry for Nick?" She bent her head to the side, her neck popping a little, relieving some stress.

"Sara, people are starting to stare," he said as a couple of the gawkers from the elderly woman's win who were now watching them with interest.

"So is the team," she nodded her head behind her and the four that were watching quickly adverted their eyes uncomfortably when Nick turned their way. They knew that he knew that they'd been watching, but seeing the look in his eyes was more than uncomfortable.

"I think we should do this in private," he informed her as he pulled out his car keys.

"Yeah, me too," she grabbed his keys out of his hands and thrust them into her purse. "You," she pointed her index finger at him, "are not driving. You've been sitting here for only God knows how long, drinking more than you probably should have. I will not allow you to drive. We'll come back tomorrow for your truck." Leaving no room for discussion, she turned and looked at their friends, forcing a smile. She took a few steps towards them, as they stayed completely still not wanting to intrude, but not knowing what to do other than stand there. "Thanks, Gil." Though she didn't elaborate on what she was thanking him for, they all knew. For telling her the truth. "Goodnight." She knew Nick was directly behind her. She could feel his body close to hers, not wanting to alientate her much more right now.

"Sara," Catherine called out, taking a step forward and towards the brunette.

She stopped, taking a deep breath as Catherine came a stand in front of her. "Yes?"

Catherine didn't really know what to say. If she told the woman to take it easy on Nick, it'd be like saying that his behavior was acceptable, in a way. And just like a small child, if they aren't corrected when they've been caught doing something that they shouldn't, they'd never learn. But knowing what Nick had been through, she didn't want to say 'bring the hammer down' either . . . "I know this is tough. For the both of you. Just . . . call if you need anything, OK? Any time, day or night. Even if it's just to cry, OK?"

Sara smiled slightly at Catherine's concern. "Thanks," she leaned in and embraced the strawberry blond.

Warrick placed a strong hand on Nick's shoulder. "You're in for it, buddy," he advised.

Nick shoved his hand in his pant pocket, finding the gem that was inside.

"Be honest, Nick," Grissom said straight up. "Sara needs the truth. Don't shut her out."

Nick ran his tongue over his teeth. He knew that they all just wanted to help him, but their words of advice were not exactly welcome in his world right now. Though he suspected telling them just that would only earn him more of Sara's wrath when they got home. "What about you, man?" Nick asked, nodding at Greg. "Anything to say?"

Grissom, Warrick and Greg heard the edge that laced his words, and though they weren't shocked by his behavior any more, the fact that he didn't seem to realize all they wanted was to help him still hurt.

"Yeah," Greg nodded his head. "You know, I've always thought of you as a brother, Nick. So I'm going to treat you like one. Sara is a great woman and she loves you. She's not someone who trusts easily. And she doesn't give just anyone her heart. But she gave it to you, Nick. We all get that you went through something horrible, and that it's something that we can't relate to. As much as we wish we could help you through it, we know that we can't. This is your battle. And because Sara is your life, not just a part of it, it's her battle too. It effects her. So don't shut her out. Talk to her. Be honest with her. As honest as you can be. That's all she wants. But if you keep lying, your going to loose her and your baby. And if I'm not mistaken, that is exactly what you're trying to avoid."

Grissom and Warrick stood to the side, the shock of Greg's words still sinking in. Though it was some thing they'd all wanted to say, neither ever expected that Greg would be the one to say it. They all knew that Sara had her limits and because she knew that she and the baby were all the Nick felt he had left, that she wouldn't leave . . . but everyone has their breaking points, and Nick's behavior as of late was pushing her ever closer . . .

Nick felt like he was shrinking, almost like he was scum of the earth for the things that he'd been doing. Shutting her out was not something that he'd intended, nor was it something he was proud of . . . he nodded his head, not saying another word as he slowly turned and went to join Sara and Catherine.

He approached the two women cautiously, placing a hand on Sara's back, but she shrugged it off, turning to him and calmly saying, "don't touch me right now, Stokes."

Catherine swallowed hard. She pulled Nick close to her for a tight hug. She whispered in his ear, "just remember her hormones are all over the place right now, Nicky. So her emotions are heightened. She loves you with all her heart. Just remember that, OK?"

"Yeah," he choked out, whispering to Catherine, his voice thick with emotion.

She could feel his head nodding slightly in agreement. "Good luck." She quickly kissed him on his cheek then pushed him off in the direction that Sara was already headed in.

The three men joined Catherine and they watched as Nick hurried to catch up with his pregnant girlfriend.

"Do you think Sara will forgive him? That they'll be OK?" Warrick asked her softly.

Catherine sighed. "Yeah, she'll forgive him. She loves him. Will they be OK?" she turned to the guys, her own manicured eyebrow raised. She shrugged. "Only time will tell."

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The drive home was unusually quiet and very tense. He'd sensed that it was not a good idea to talk, so he'd gently leaned over and turned the radio on to a quiet setting allowing soft music to fill the air. When he leaned back in his seat, Sara used the controls on the steering wheel panel and turned it off. When he'd glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, he saw her lips were drawn together and she was looking even more pissed off with each second that passed.

By the time they'd arrived home, he was more than ready for her wrath. He knew that he deserved it. Though he hadn't intentionally hurt her, he'd intentionally deceived her – if only to protect himself. Why he had felt the need to protect himself from her, he wasn't sure . . .

She pulled the SUV into the garage, then shut the electronic door behind them. Pulling the keys out of the ignition, she flung her door open, partially struggling to turn her body to get herself out of the vehicle. Normally, Nick would slightly chuckle and watch her adoringly. But tonight, he knew that would only cause him more harm than good.

She muttered quietly under her breath as she entered the mud room. Kicking off her shoes with force, they flung up against the washing machine, a loud clank reverberating through the room.

"Sara," he drawled quietly as he reached out to help her remove her jacket. But she shrugged it off and just threw it in the closet, not bothering to place it neatly on the hanger.

"I don't know who to be more pissed off at Nick," she said through gritted teeth. "You? Or me."

His eyebrows knitted together. "Why would you be mad at yourself?"

She exited the room and Nick quickly kicked off his runners before following her into the house. Sara had become very anal about cleanliness – and it was something that he knew had to do with the nesting phase of her pregnancy. Nothing could be clean enough and if he'd walked through the clean house with dirty street shoes, he'd be in a whole lot more trouble.

"This is why I'm mad at myself," she flung open the wine refrigerator door and bent over as quickly as her condition would allow. Nick looked at her with wide eyes. He swallowed hard.

Over the last few weeks, he'd gotten better about sleeping through the night. Although it was still an act. He'd just wised up. He'd become accustomed to waiting for her to fall asleep and once she had, he'd untangle himself from her arms, place a kiss on her temple, then go play darts in the mainly unfinished games room, or watch sports on ESPN. He'd sneak back to bed before she awoke and then would act as if he'd been there all night.

She finished her fishing expedition as she'd found the small bottle behind some of the beverage containers. She tossed the bottle to him. "Care to explain what these are?"

"You're a smart woman, Sara," Nick retorted. "You tell me." His lack of sleep was always causing him to lash out in sarcastic ways.

"And why do you need them Nick? Why do you need Caffeine pills?"

"SO I DON'T HAVE TO SLEEP!" He shouted.

She flinched at the sudden outburst. Though she was a little scared at the force of his words and how loud he was, she was relieved. It was the most anger he'd shown since he'd found her in the gazebo at his parents ranch.

"GOD DAMMIT!" He yelled again, throwing the small bottle angrily across the room. Though he hadn't yelled much, the sudden burst of anger had left him exhausted as he sunk into the material of the sofa.

Sara walked over to the sofa and sat down beside him, taking his hands in her own. "Why don't you want to sleep?" she prodded gently. She knew why, but she needed him to say it. She needed him to admit it.

"Sara," he drawled tiredly.

She shook her head no firmly. She knew that he didn't want to discuss this with her. But he need to. She needed him too. And if she didn't push for answers now, while the wall had crumbled and before he had time to put it back up, she didn't know when she'd get the chance again. "I've left it alone for too long Nick. And I did it because you asked me too. I did it because I thought you were getting the help that you needed from a professional. But you weren't. We can't keep living this way, Nick. If you don't talk to me, we aren't going to have a relationship left."

He looked at her, terrified at the thought of loosing her. The tears cascaded down his face and he choked back the sob that was building in his throat. His vision blurred as Sara leaned forward and took his muscular frame into his arms. "Why don't you want to sleep?" she asked him a second time, gently.

"I can still see it," he admitted softly. "Every time I close my eyes, I can see that damn plexiglass coffin. I see the cage in the basement. I see the newspaper clipping of you and the rest of the team at my memorial. I see your face contorted with emotion because you thought I was dead. I see the green glow of those sticks. I hear the gun cocking because I held it at my head, ready to end it all because I didn't think I'd make it out of there anyway . . ."

"Nick," she cried softly, stroking his hand softly.

"Every time I think about how long I was gone, all I can think of is how you and everyone else thought I was gone. How much you and my family missed me. How much you and the baby needed me. How much of the pregnancy that I've missed out. How my life – our lives, have been blown apart by some sick son of a bitch because he felt that we'd wrongly imprisoned his daughter!"

Nick stood up and began pacing the room, his breathing heavy. He saw a crystal vase sitting on the table in the corner and picked it up, flinging it violently towards the opposite wall.

It was then that he saw the shock written all over Sara's face as she watched the vase loudly hit the wall and shatter into a million pieces. Sort of like what he felt had happened to his heart when he'd been taken.

"I'm sorry baby," he said quietly as he came immediately back to the sofa and gathered Sara in his arms. "I'm so sorry, baby."

She wrapped her arms around his torso, pulling him closer to her. "Don't be. I just wish I could help you through this. I wish I could understand more of it."

"I'm glad that you don't," he admitted. "I never want you to have to know what that feels like. I was so scared that I'd never see you again. That I'd go crazy. That I'd forget what you smelt like. How your skin felt. You are what got me through it all, Sara."

"Oh, Nick," she sighed, sniffling. "I love you."

"I love you too," he pulled her into his chest, the both of them crying.

It felt good to have finally let it out. And he knew that he needed to let more of it out. And to have help with putting things in perspective.

"I'm going to go back to therapy," he told her.

She nodded her head. "I think that's a good idea. We'll find you a different therapist. If you aren't comfortable with them right away, I don't think they're right for you."

"Thank you," he smiled. He leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips. "I know the first thing that I have to do," he said, standing up from his position. He held out his hand for her to take.

"Hmm, taking me back to the bedroom, Stokes?" she laughed playfully.

"Mmm," he mumbled, leaning in and kissing her. "OK, so there's two things I have to do." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"OK, so what else do you have to do?" she held on to his hand tightly as he walked to the wall. She watched curiously as he leaned down and picked up the pill bottle.

He lead them out of the room and into the kitchen. He turned on the water faucet, letting the crystal clear liquid run down the drain. He flipped on the garbage disposal and then popped off the lid to the bottle of caffeine pills, dumping them down the drain.

"I'm so proud of you," Sara whispered quietly, over come by emotion once again.

He smiled at her and leaned down to capture her lips in another kiss, but stopped when her face paled and she looked scared. "Sara?"

"Something's wrong," she managed to say quietly as one hand tightly gripped Nick's hand and the other cupped the underside of her belly. "Oh, God, Nick, something's wrong with the baby!"

The terror that filled her voice chilled Nick to his very core. He lead her over to the kitchen table that was only a few feet away and gently sat her down. She breathed in and out slowly like they'd been learning in their Birthing class. "It's going to be OK," he promised her as he whipped out his cell phone and dialled 911.

"I'm scared, Nick," she cried, holding on to him tighter for a second time as more pain ripped through her body. "Ow!" she moaned.

Nick sat down in the chair beside her, scooting his body as close to her as possible as she leaned into his strong arms for support.

The operator answered after less than a full ring. "911, what is your emergency?"

"My wife is seven months pregnant and something's wrong with the baby!" he told her quickly. "We need an ambulance now!" He rattled off their address as he held on to Sara tightly, trying to give her strength . . . "Please hurry . . ."

TBC . . .


	28. Chapter 28

I can not apologize enough for my lack of updating. As I know a number of you know, I've had a really difficult time at work, and haven't been feeling great. I know that a lot of people have the same issues as myself and are able to update, so it is not an excuse. Every time I update as of late, I seem to promise that I will try and update more regularly. This time, I'm not going to make that promise. I will continue to try, but I can't guarantee. I truly love each and every one of you who continue to read and support this story, although it doesn't get updated as frequently as I would like, or as often as it should be . . .

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The ride to the hospital was quick, but it seemed to take forever.

Sara lay in the stretcher, one hand clutching the rail of the bed, the other grasping Nick's hand. She moaned in pain, trying to concentrate on her breathing exercises. The paramedics told her to breathe through the pain. It helped, but not as much as she had hoped . . .

He whispered promises that everything would be all right, and that she and the baby would be fine. That he'd make sure of it, but truthfully, he was saying that just as much for his benefit as it was for hers . . . all he wanted to do was take her in his arms and rock her pain away. He occasionally leaned down and placed a tender kiss on the back of her hand where the IV drip was.

He felt the ambulance begin to slow down, and come to a stop just outside the hospitals Emergency Entrance. The paramedic in the back flung the doors open as the driver of the vehicle raced to the back doors to help his partner move the bed on wheels inside where the doctors could check Sara over more thoroughly. Nick moved to the top of the bed as they rolled it out of the vehicle, his eyes locked on hers, falsely reassuring as he helped ease the bed onto the pavement, careful not to jar her any more than possible.

Once it was down on the cement, he grabbed hold of her hand once again and raced inside the building that he frequented while working cases - not even seeing Warrick or Greg as they raced by. The two CSIs jaws fell open as they quickly forgot about the case that they were working on to follow their friends.

"Sir, you're going to have to wait out here," a middle aged Nurse instructed Nick gently, placing a hand on his chest to prevent him from going any farther.

"That's my wife!" he shouted in desperation, trying to move past the woman, tears glistening in his eyes. He hadn't allowed the pools to shine when Sara could see him. She needed him to be strong . . .

"You can't go in there!" She grabbed a hold of his wrists, getting his complete attention. "The doctors are doing everything they can for your wife and baby. I promise. Someone will let you know what's going on as soon as they can."

Nick felt his body become heavy like lead as the nurse dropped her hold of his wrists. He nodded mutely, unable to say anything as his throat constricted. He watched as the woman turned to walk into the room.

Warrick and Greg jogged up to Nick as the nurse swung open the door and entered the room.

"Nick," he heard her moan, calling out for him. She needed him.

"I'm here," he whispered, his chin quivering and his heart breaking.

"What happened, man?" Warrick asked tentatively as he placed a friendly hand on his friends shoulder.

Nick took a few strides over to the waiting area, collapsing into a small, uncomfortable plastic chair. He shook his head, his eyes glazed over. Unable to look at anything other than the tiles beneath his feet . . . he felt like the wind had been knocked out of his sails. "I don't know . . ." he choked out. "She just . . . she just . . . she's in pain, man."

Greg pulled out his Department issued cell phone and dialled Grissom's number.

"Where are you two?" Grissom barked. He and Greg had been scheduled to work that night anyway, but shortly after having seen the slight confrontation between Nick and Sara at the casino, he'd received word of an all hands on deck assignment. Warrick and Catherine had been called in to work, despite having been given the night off.

"At the hospital," Greg told him quickly.

"What are you two still doing there?" Grissom looked down at his watch, noting the time. "You two should've been back by now, and the the Police Chief is - "

"Sara has been admitted," the words tumbled out of his mouth, speaking over Grissom's tirade.

The older man, who had been in the break room with Catherine, Brass and the Lab Rats, sank down onto one of the chairs at the table in shock. His voice became soft and concerned. "What happened?"

The sudden change in the tone of his voice caused everyone to look over at their boss, mentor and friend.

Grissom nodded his head mutely as he listened to Greg briefly. He bid the younger CSI goodbye and hung up his phone. He stared at the little piece of technology in confusion for a moment. How could it be? They'd just seen her. She was fine!

"Gil?" Catherine asked quietly, glancing over at Brass.

"Sara's in the hospital," he told them, shocking the group in the break room. "Greg and Warrick are with Nick. They don't know what's happening, but the doctors aren't letting Nick be with Sara."

Catherine closed her eyes tightly, "that can't be good."

"Go," Brass commanded them. "We'll have your assignments of the case given to other members."

Catherine placed a hand on Brass' shoulder as she and Grissom stood to leave. She knew that he would want to be at the hospital too, but at the moment, he couldn't leave. He'd have to wait.

"We'll call when we know anything," she promised their friend.

"Catherine?" Hodges called out, his voice sounding uncertain, like he had a quick, mental debate with himself over whether or not to ask . . .

When she turned around, she saw the question left unspoken shining in his eyes.

"I'll let you guys know, too," she assured the Lab Rats.

"Thanks," they called out softly.

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A few minutes later, the senior CSIs were at Desert Palms Hospital, thankful that the Lab was located so close to the medical building . . .

Catherine and Grissom came to a stop in front of the three men. She sat down beside Nick, who didn't even bother to look up. He just wiped at the tears that were streaming down his face . . . she rubbed his back soothingly, like she did for Lindsay when she was a small child, feeling sick. "Have you heard anything?"

He shook his head no, fresh tears starting to stream down his face. What was taking so long?

"What happened?" Grissom asked, sitting down in the chair opposite Nick . . .

"We got home and I got mad . . . I yelled. I could," his breath hitched in his throat, "see how it scared her." He finally looked up and the group of friends were not shocked to see the red rimmed eyes that Nick adorned. "But we finally talked. And we came to an agreement. I think we were finally starting to put the pieces of our lives back together . . . and then she just went pale. Said something was wrong with the baby . . . oh, God," he put his head back down, sobs taking over him once again. "I can't loose them."

Catherine moved closer to him, putting a reassuring arm around his back. "It's going to be OK, I promise," she whispered to him, looking at the others with doubt . . .

Nick nodded his head mutely. God, how he hated those words. Empty promises. They couldn't control what was going to happen . . . as much as he wanted to believe what Catherine told him, and what he'd told Sara, he just wasn't sure . . .

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"Make it stop!" Sara cried out, her head thrashing from one side to the other. "Please!" The pain was intense. It seemed to be worse now that they were at the hospital. Although the pain only seemed to last for ten or fifteen seconds, it always came back. "It's too soon," she cried. One of the nurses smoothed back her unruly, curly hair from her forehead.

"Shh," the older woman calmed her, "just focus on me, OK?"

The two locked eyes and she breathed through her nose, willing the pain to stop. When it did, she felt her lower lip tremble, "I need Nick."

The nurse continued to hold her hand, but she looked towards the doctor, who nodded his head mutely in confirmation. She turned her attention back to Sara. "We'll go get him," she nodded, putting a small smile on her lips. She glanced at the nurse on the opposite side of the bed who'd just finished jotting down notes in Sara's chart. "Lisa, would you . . . ?"

The younger nurse smiled slightly, nodding her head yes as she quickly retreated from the room.

When the door to Sara's room gently opened, Nick stood up faster than he had in his entire life. He took a few steps towards the small nurse. "What's going on? How are Sara and the baby?"

"The doctors are still evaluating them," she told him softly. "But you can come in and be with her now."

Nick didn't wait to hear her say anything else as his body just took off to be with her.

"Nurse?" Greg called out softly when the young woman turned to leave.

The woman turned around and looked at the group, no answers written in her eyes.

"Are they going to be OK?"

"We're doing everything we can to make that happen," she told them. It was the best answer she could give.

The four looked at one another solemnly.

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"Sara," Nick called out softly when he entered the room. She turned to look at him, panic still etched across her features.

When she saw him, her eyes began to water again. Her lower lip trembled and her eyes blurred with tears. "Nick," she called out to him, breaking his heart even more than he thought possible in that moment.

She reached out her hand to him as he raced towards her bed, needing to feel him with her. When he got to her side only a few short seconds later, he leaned his head down, hugging her as best he could as the doctors and nurses continued their jobs, careful not to jostle the IV line that she was still hooked up too, as well as other monitoring equipment that beeped rhythmically beside them . . .

The middle aged nurse that had kept him out of the room when they'd first arrived pushed a stool over to him so he could take a seat by her side. They held on tightly to each other, looking into the others eyes. Occasionally she closed her eyes tightly, and bit her lip, trying to get through the pain.

"Oh, God," she cried as Nick's hand stroked her skin which was slightly sticky with sweat. His other hand held hers, and she was squeezing like a vice grip.

He did the breathing exercises with her, coaching her to breathe through it as she had been earlier.

"It's OK, sweetheart," he murmured. "I'm here."

Not long after he'd entered the room, the doctor sighed. Closing his chart, he looked up at the couple, finally able to tell them what was happening, and how they were going to handle it.

"Doctor Thompson?" Nick asked, having noted the name on the white jacket. "What's happening?"

"Is my baby OK?" Sara asked breathlessly. She was exhausted and wanted to sleep, but her she wouldn't allow herself that luxury until she knew her baby was fine.

"You're in pre term labor, Sara," he informed her.

"Oh, God!" she cried, feeling as though her world were once again crumbling.

"The good news is that the babies heart beat is strong, and your membranes haven't ruptured," he told them.

"That's good," Nick encouraged Sara, trying to get her to calm down. On the inside, he was just as jumpy as she was, wanting to know what had to be done.

Their scientific brains already knew the answers, but they weren't thinking with their brains. Only their hearts. All Nick could think of was how to help Sara and the baby. All Sara could think of was the baby.

"I have an Ultrasound machine on it's way down," he continued. "We will check to see how much amniotic fluid is present, as well as the babies growth. You're chart says that you are at about 28 weeks."

"It's too soon," she cried softly.

"You haven't dilated, so that's good," he told her, trying to calm her. "We have taken cervical and vaginal cultures and sent them off to the lab for testing."

"I'm so sorry," she sobbed, placing a hand on her abdomen, careful of the fetal heart monitor that was strapped there.

"Sara," he drawled, demanding gently that she listen to him. "This is not your fault." He placed his own hand on top of hers that rested on their baby. He gently stroked the back of her hand with his thumb.

The door to the room opened and the younger nurse wheeled in an Ultrasound machine.

It was set up quickly and soon, a picture of their baby was on the screen. It's movements inside of her were very reassuring to both Nick and Sara.

"Amniotic fluid looks good," the doctor announced. "And more good news, it looks like the baby is 29, maybe 30 weeks." He looked over at the parents to be and smiled. "The longer the baby is in there, the better."

Both Nick and Sara knew that and while they were both nervous that it was happening so fast, they were happy to hear that their baby might be a week or two ahead of schedule. If it meant that they had a little less time to prepare, so be it.

"I don't see a placental abruption, either," he commented.

"So, what exactly does this mean?" Nick asked, squeezing Sara's hand in his own.

"Well," he looked from Nick to Sara, "you haven't effaced any, and all signs are good." The sound of his pager vibrating on the small table next to him took the doctors attention. He looked down at the small screen and smiled. "The tests that we ran are negative. What we can do is go ahead and give you some medication to try and stop the contractions. With any luck, this little one will be a full term baby."

Both let out a breath of air they didn't know they'd been holding.

"I would also like to give you some medication to help manage the pain, Sara –"

"No," she shook her head. "I can deal with it. I don't want my baby to –"

"It will be beneficial to the baby," he interrupted her. "The medication to stop the labor works better when the mother is relaxed. You won't feel the contractions, so you'll be comfortable. And hopefully, you'll be able to rest."

She let the words sink in . . . she glanced at Nick, biting her lip. "Are there any side affects for the baby?"

"No," he smiled. "We are also going to give you two other drugs, both for the babies well being. The first is an antibiotic to prevent group B streptococcal infection. It's a preventative measure in case you are a carrier. The test itself takes 48 hours for the results, so rather than take the chance, we strongly advise it. If you are a carrier, but don't take the drug, it comes with serious risks for newborns. Infection in the blood, pneumonia, and meningitis, which could cause long term health problems," Doctor Thompson rattled off.

"Absolutely," Sara said without hesitation.

"The second drug will be given when the contractions cease. We'll give you a shot of Cortico-steroids. It will help speed up the babys lung development, should he or she be determined to make their entrance into the world early."

"You think that's a possibility, Doc?" Nick asked.

"We can never be entirely sure when a woman will go into labor," he told them. "I can't say it won't happen." He turned his attention to Sara. "Now, we're going to have to monitor you closely for the remainder of your pregnancy. To make sure that you don't develop an infection which could be harmful to either you or the baby, or both."

She nodded her head. "Whatever it takes," she agreed, already feeling somewhat better as the medication to stop the contractions, and help relax her, which had been administer, began to take effect.

"So, how long will she be in the hospital?"

"We'll continue to monitor Sara and the baby for the next few hours. If they are both doing fine, and there is no dilation, or effacement, then we can go ahead and send you home in a few hours. But, you'll need plenty of rest, and you'll need to avoid stress."

Nick's world began to spin. He hadn't even thought of stress as a possible reason for Sara having gone into premature labor. "Yes, Doc," he managed to say as he turned to look at Sara, who was looking at him with concern.

"It's not your fault, either," she whispered, knowing exactly what he was thinking.

He nodded lamely, not entirely believing it.

Slowly, Doctor Thompson and the nurses filed out of the room to give Sara some much needed rest.

As her eyes felt heavy, and began to close, she heard Nick's voice. "Warrick and Greg were here when we came in. They are still out there, and Catherine and Gil came too."

She smiled faintly. Sleepily, she told him, "you should go tell them your wife and baby are doing fine."

He chuckled softly. In all the chaos, it hadn't even registered in his mind that he was calling Sara his wife. "I love you," he told her.

"I love you, too, Husband," she mumbled playfully as sleep pulled at her eye lids.

As her breathing evened out, and Nick knew she was asleep, he placed a chaste kiss on her left hand ring finger before leaning up and placing a kiss on her forehead. He let his fingers trail across her stomach where his son or daughter was still safely growing . . . "and we love you, too, little one."

TBC . . . .


	29. Chapter 29

I am so, so, so sorry that I has taken me two months for this update. I really am. My muse had completely disappeared once Jorja left the show. I hope you haven't forgotten about this story. Special thanks to all those who read and reviewed the last chapter. And an extra special thanks to Monica - for letting me know that the story was missed! hugs

I disclaim. Own nothing, have nothing - you sue, you'll get nothing.

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Sara was laying on the couch, her hands protectively drapped across her bulging belly. She was now 37 weeks pregnant and counting. As terrified as she was of labor and delivery, she was ready to have her body back.

Nick looked over at her and smirked.

"What?" she said kind of grumpily.

"You're cute when you pout," he answered.

"I'm not pouting," she informed him.

"Sure," he chuckled as lifted her legs easily to sit down where they had been resting. He sat her legs down on his and began to absently rub soothing circles on her skin. They sat in the darkness of their home, the only light coming from the glow of the fireplace and the white lights that adorned the Christmas tree.

He glanced over at Sara and took one of his hands and placed it on hers, squeezing her fingers lightly. "Think we'll have a baby by Christmas?"

"I hope so!" she sighed dramatically. It was December 17th and though her due date was still, technically, a couple of weeks away, the Doctor had said that the baby was perfectly ready to be born.

He smiled. Yes, she had become increasingly frustrated as she got larger. Her mood wasn't as stable as it had been, and Catherine told him to chalk it up to lack of sleep and being uncomfortable, as well as scared of the delivery. And if he were being honest with himself, the thought of the delivery terrified him as well. He just hoped it all went smoothly. He had been assured, just like Sara, that the baby was healthy and that by all accounts, the delivery itself should be normal. But that with modern medicine and the help of the nurses and doctors at the hospital, things would go as smoothly as possible.

He looked over at her face, glowing not only because she was an expectant mother, but because the colors from the fire that illuminated her skin.

Even though her eyes were closed, she felt him staring. She slowly opened her eyes. "What?" she asked softly, entangling her fingers with his.

"Nothing," he said softly, "just thinking about how beautiful you are. And how lucky I am to have you in my life. How you're giving me the gift of a child."

She smirked at him. "No need to sweet talk me, Stokes. You already knocked me up."

He smiled a bit more. "I'm serious. I love you."

"I love you too," she smiled, pulling on his hand to indicate that she wanted him to give her a kiss.

So, he leaned over her torso, careful not to put his weight on their baby and kissed her soft lips.

"Hey now," he said, breaking the kiss and looking down at Sara's stomach, "I'm trying to have a private moment with Mommy."

Sara laughed when the baby kicked again. "I don't think he cares."

"He? You think it's a boy?" Nick asked, his eyes shining.

She shrugged. "At the moment, yes. What do you think?"

While it was true and he and Sara would be thrilled with either a son or a daughter, and all they truly wanted was for him or her to be healthy, he couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face. "Well, I think she's going to have your smile."

"You think it's a girl?"

He nodded his head. "Well, at the moment, anyway!"

She giggled. Nick placed his large palm against the baby bump. "So, who are you? Are you Daddys little Princess, or Mommys little Man?"

"I think he's ignoring you," Sara whispered playfully when she didn't feel the baby kick in response.

"Oh, really, huh?" Nick smirked and leaned down and kissed her again.

And then the baby kicked.

Sara started to laugh. "Oh, now I have to pee!" she giggled as Nick leaned back up and helped her to sit up and then stood to help her stand.

He watched as she made her way to the downstairs bathroom and then sat back down on the couch. He eyed the small gift bag, stuffed with shiny paper. He smiled a little, thinking of her reaction. He planned to give it to her on Christmas Eve. His family was flying in late on the 23rd, and even though they'd be staying at Nick and Sara's, he was sure he could steal a little time with her in front of the tree and the fire on the magical night and make it just a little more special.

"What're you thinking?" Sara smiled as she sat down beside him and curled into his side.

He wrapped an arm around her and kissed her temple as he played with her hair. "That we need to enjoy this. It's not going to stay quiet around here for long."

She smiled. "You're right."

"Having some noise and chaos will be just like it was when I was growing up. Minus the six other kids." He squeezed her shoulder.

"We'll have more kids, Nick," she assured him. "I just don't know about us having as many as seven!"

He laughed. "Good. I'm not sure I could handle six. Two or three sounds like a pretty good number, doesn't it?"

She nodded. "Mmm Hmm."

Silence filled the room once again and the two sat in contentment. Until the phone rang.

Nick sighed and reached behind him to grab the cordless phone that sat in the cradle on the table behind them. "Hello?"

"What's up man?" Warrick asked, by way of a greeting.

"Not much." He looked over at Sara and mouthed 'Warrick.'

"Are you and Sara up for coming out tonight? Grissom's out of town at the bug convention, but Greg, Cath and I just wrapped up a case and since we aren't needed, Ecklie decided to give us the night off. Party time."

Nick chuckled. "I don't know, man."

Sara rolled her eyes and grabbed the phone from Nick, having heard the question that he'd posed. "Hey Warrick. What did you three want to do?"

"Nothing insane. Probably dinner. Maybe a show after wards."

"Sounds good. Where should we meet you?" She listened as Warrick told her where they'd meet up and when she hung up the phone, she looked over at Nick. "What?"

"You feel up to going out?"

"I'm pregnant, Nick. I'm tired and I'm sore, but I can't do anything about that. And besides, after the baby is here, it'll be a very long time until we can just go out spontaneously." She leaned over and kissed Nick quickly, but deeply. She batted her eyelashes.

He smirked as he stood up and once again helped her to her feet. He leaned down to capture her lips in one more quick kiss. He pulled away, "should've thought about that before you let me knock you up!" And he quickly turned and walked away, chuckling.

Her jaw dropped in amusement as she swatted at his bum as he walked away. "Nicholas Anthony Stokes!"

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"How did you get us in there?" Greg asked Catherine as they exited the restaurant.

It was an exclusive new restaurant at one of the casinos. Casual clothes were acceptable, but the atmosphere was unlike any other exclusive eatery in Las Vegas.

"You know I can't tell you that," she answered him coyly.

"The food was phenomenal," Nick raved and Warrick nodded his head.

"Beyond phenomenal," Sara concurred.

"You barely touched your food," Warrick said, raising an eyebrow as if to question if she were really being truthful.

Sara smirked, then used her hands to illustrate just how large her stomach had become. "There's not much room in here, Warrick. Trust me."

Catherine laughed and placed a hand on the baby. "Active tonight, huh?"

Sara nodded her head. "Definitely feels that way." Truth was, the baby's activity level had gone down. The doctor had assured her that the reason was only because the amount of space in the womb was limited, so the lack of activity was normal.

"Hey guys, wanna catch a movie rather than go to a show?" he smiled widely at the group. "King Kong is playing!"

Sara and Catherine groaned while Warrick and Nick looked interested.

"Why don't you guys go?" Sara suggested. She looked specifically at Nick. "Seriously, I'll be fine."

"You sure?" he asked, although she could see the excitement in his eyes.

"I'll be with her, Nick," Catherine assured him. "You have your cell phone?"

He nodded in confirmation.

"Then if you're needed, we'll call."

Sara nodded her head and smiled at Nick, amused by Catherine's assertiveness. "Yeah, that's right."

"OK," he smiled. He leaned over and placed a kiss on her lips. "Love you. Be careful."

"Always," she smiled. "Love you too."

Warrick and Greg nodded at Cath and Sara in silent goodbye.

"Man, you are so whipped," Warrick's deep voice chuckled.

"I am not," Nick protested.

Greg then acted as if he had a whip in his hands. "Yeah, ya are."

Catherine and Sara laughed.

"So, what shall we do?" Catherine smiled. "Take in a strip show?"

Sara laughed.

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The two women walked through Meadows Mall leisurely, eating Haagen Dazs Ice Cream. The mall itself was crowded with Holiday shoppers who'd waited until the final stretch to complete, or even start, their shopping. Thankfully, due to the Holiday Season, the mall hours had been extended to midnight. It was nearly 11:30, so the shoppers were slowly starting to dispurse.

Sara rubbed her back a little to ease the slight ache that had settled there. "The movie should be over shortly," she said to Catherine.

She turned away from Catherine and tried to stiffle a yawn, but Cath caught it. She smiled.

"I need to make a quick pit stop in the ladies room," Catherine told her, "and then we'll be on our way."

"Cath?" The strawberry blond turned around. "If you don't mind, could I just go to the car? I need to sit down. My feet and back are killing me."

Catherine chuckled and handed Sara the car keys. "I'll be there in a minute."

Sara nodded her head and continued on the short distance to the exit doors that lead to the parking lot. When they'd arrived, they lucked out and managed to get a stall close to the mall that was just being vacated by another shopper.

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Catherine exited the mall and headed for her car.

"Where'd you go, Sara?" she asked herself as she approached the stall where he car had been parked, but was now empty.

The dim glow of the parking lot lamp only slightly illuminated the area, but her CSI skills were fine-tuned to see things in the night that people couldn't even see in the day. Something wasn't right. In fact, something was incredibly wrong.

"Woah!" she heard a teenage boy say. "Dude, some chick left her purse by my door!"

"No way!"

Catherine immediately called out to them. "Stop! Don't touch it!"

The boys recoiled. "Hey lady, if this is your purse, we don't want any trouble. We just found it!"

"No, it's not mine," she said as she crouched down. "It's a friends." And it look like it had been thrown there. But why would Sara's purse be thrown to the other side of the parking lot, and her own car be missing? "Dammit."

She pulled open her own purse and dug around for her cell phone. She hit speed dial. "Jim, it's Catherine. I'm at Meadows Mall, parking section J on the upper level. I need some Units and a couple of CSI kits, now."

Jim furrowed his brow. He told another officer quickly what Catherine needed, where she needed it and to get it done. "What's going on?" He knew not to question her when she sounded so insistent.

"It's Sara. She's gone."

"What do you mean she's gone?" he asked, checking his holster and making sure his gun was firmly there, locked and loaded.

"I don't have time to explain, Jim. I have to call Nick."

She quickly ended the call, and then proceeded to call the person who would be absolutely crushed and devastated.

She looked up at the night sky, silently wondering why everything had to go so wrong, just when things were going so right . . .

TBC . . . .


	30. Chapter 30

I can't apologize enough for the lack of updates

I can't apologize enough for the lack of updates. I really need to thank Sherri-Valance and Bittersweet Fiction for reminding me that there are readers out there faithfully waiting for an update! hugs

I disclaim . . . .

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The guys were just exiting the theatre when Nick's cell phone rang.

He glanced down at the caller ID and noted it was Catherine calling. "Shit!" he cursed. "I shouldn't have left her."

Greg looked at Warrick, raising one of his eyebrows in an "I told you so" manner. While waiting for the movie to start, Greg had let it slip that there was a betting pool at CSI headquarters as to when the baby would be born. Nick was amused, especially when Greg had said that he'd put money down that the baby would make their appearance on December 18th. Given that it was nearing midnight on the 17th, if this was it, things looked very promising for him to have made a tidy little profit.

"Catherine? How's Sara? Is she OK?" he rattled off his questions one after another, frantic that he wasn't with her.

"She's gone, Nick," Catherine told him calmly. Her heart was racing wildly and she felt horrible. Something had happened to Sara when she was supposed to be there to make sure that nothing bad happened.

"Gone?" Nick asked, not quite sure if he'd heard correctly, but still feeling like he'd been kicked in the gut. "What do you mean gone?"

Warrick and Greg looked at Nick, wanting to know what was going on.

"I needed to go to the ladies room, and she needed to sit down. She came outside to the car, and when I came out, she was gone. Her purse was left behind, but she and my car are gone." A single tear slipped down her cheek as she watched an abundance of activity going on around her as police and CSI vehicles pulled up and began to take action. A couple of officers taped the perimeter of the area while onlookers stood nearby, watching and trying to figure out what had happened. "I'm so sorry, Nick."

In his heart, he knew that Catherine would never put Sara in danger knowingly. HHow often had they gone to the mall, or the grocery store and separated with one heading back to the car a few minutes ahead of the other? Nothing had happened before. How would anyone have known that tonight would be any different?

"Where are you?" he asked, his own heart shattered into a million pieces. He listened as Catherine rattled off the information. "I'm on my way." He hung up the phone and looked at his two friends, words caught in his throat.

"What's going on?" Warrick questioned.

"Sara's missing," he managed to get out. "She went back to Catherine's car a few minutes ahead of Catherine, and when she came out, Sara and her car were gone. The only thing left behind was Sara's purse."

When half the on duty officers in the area started to run for their patrol cars, Greg pulled out his badge and flagged a couple of them down. "CSI Sanders. Are you headed to the scene where Sara Sidle went missing?"

"Yes," one of them said quickly.

"We're convoying with you," he told them.

When Nick pulled out the keys to his truck, Warrick grabbed them and pushed him in the direction of the passenger seat. "I'm driving." Nick didn't argue.

Within a few seconds, they were located in the middle of the police vehicles that were speeding through the streets of Las Vegas, towards the mall.

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They pulled into the parking lot of shopping center, screeching to a halt. Nick jumped out before Warrick had put the vehicle in park and ran straight for Catherine and Jim.

"Please tell me you have a lead," he begged, his voice cracking.

"We're working on it, Nick," Jim told him. "We're going to find them. Sara and your baby are going to be fine."

He took a couple of deep breaths to steady his nerves. "We have too." He looked at Sara's purse, laying on the ground. Beside it sat a yellow tag. It was the first piece of evidence. And it was being photographed. He looked away, unable to watch. This time, it was hitting too close to home.

"We found your car, Catherine," a detective jogged up and told the group. He saw the hope in the faces around him. "No sign of them."

"Dammit!" Nick cursed, turning around and grasping at Jim's Dodge Charger car, kicking at it's tires in frustration.

"What was the location?" Warrick asked, watching out the corner of his eye as Catherine rubbed Nick's shoulders. He knew that if something bad happened, to Sara or the baby, or both, that neither would ever be able to forgive themselves.

"A residential block." He answered.

"I want a couple of units doing door to door," Jim told him.

"Yes, Sir. We have four units on route now."

"This case is our top priority," he said. He turned his attention to Greg. "Catherine and I have been calling Grissom, but we haven't gotten in touch with him yet. Could you try him again? He'll want to know, and as soon as he hears, he'll be on his way back to help."

Greg nodded. "I'm on it."

"Catherine?" Jim called out softly. She turned around but Nick didn't move. "We both know that it's against departmental policy for your team to be involved because it's so personal. But we also both know that your team is the team that gets things done the fastest. Every second counts."

She nodded her head, forcing a smile. "I want you and Warrick to go and talk to group of shoppers. Some of them may have been in the parking lot and seen something that can help us find Sara."

"Let's hope so," she said, brushing another stray tear away.

Warrick began to lead them away and pulled her into him for a hug and kissed her temple. "This is not your fault, Cath. You have to know that."

She just smiled at him in return, though she didn't completely believe him . . .

Jim watched as Nick looked up into the night sky, although the stars were barely visible. They were close to the strip, so the neon glow didn't allow for the best of views.

"We have an APB out already," he said softly.

"Good," Nick said, his voice wavering. The tears were threatening to fall, but he tried to be strong. "I should do something," he turned and looked back at the scene unfolding before him as news crews started to pull up. He was overwhelmed. "I just don't know where to begin," he confessed, looking at Jim.

"You begin by taking a few minutes and getting yourself together, Nick. If we don't clear heads, that's when the mistakes are made. Just remember that she's strong. She's a fighter and she won't let anything happen to your baby. She loves her too much."

"You think it's a girl?" Nick asked quietly.

"I think I have a 50/50 shot of being right," he smirked. "There's a pool at the station: Boy or Girl?"

Nick smirked a little.

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Sara sat in the drivers seat of a Honda Civic rental. She had to push the seat back to accommodate her stomach. She definitely wasn't comfortable driving anymore. Nick, and her friends, had basically been doing it all for her for weeks. But tonight, she didn't have a choice. A gun was pressed up against her side, aimed at her womb.

"Why are you doing this?" She glanced out of the corner of her eye.

"Revenge," the woman shrugged, then shook her head in anger. "A CUP!"

Sara flinched, and her grip on the steering wheel tightened.

"A cup sent me to jail. Just because I was at the wrong place at the wrong time, I lost years of my life that I'll never get back."

"I'm sorry," Sara said. "I didn't have anything to do with that case. I don't remember anyone on the Night Shift having had anything to do with that case."

"Why me?" Sara asked quietly.

Kelly smirked. "My father was the one who determined that. He took Nick, your team searched for him, in the process my father died . . ." she glanced behind them at the glow of the Las Vegas strip that was disappearing behind them. "He was the only person who ever truly loved me. And when I was sent to jail, it all became crystal clear. I would never find someone to love me. Not the way that Nick loves you. It makes me sick inside to know that I can't ever have that!"

"Why do you think you couldn't have that?" Sara asked. She was looking for a way to get through to the woman that she didn't really have to do this. She could turn herself in and things wouldn't be as bad as they could potentially get . . .

"How many respectable men out there have girlfriends or wives that are ex-convicts, huh? And not only that, but after being stuck in there, I'm damaged goods. Do you know how that feels?"

Sara swallowed against the bile that threatened to rise in her throat.

"I will never fall in love, and get married. I will never have a baby!" She yelled out in anger and frustration. Her dropped down to a whisper. "That's all I've ever wanted."

"I'm so sorry," Sara tried to sympathize. "But you have to know that there are so many men out there who would love you. Your ambitious. I know that because I know how much you love flowers and horticulture. And your beautiful. Everyone has demons in their pasts that they have to face, Kelly. But if you want it badly enough, it'll happen. You have to have faith in that." She looked at Kelly for a moment, and thought she might be getting through to her. But then the hard look in her eyes came back.

"Believe me, I do want this badly enough. And I do have faith that I will make it happen." She turned her attention back to the road, deadly silence filling the air. She knew it was safe to have Sara drive. She knew the woman loved her child to much to do anything stupid like cause an accident to get away. "Turn left up here."

Sara nodded her head, praying that a miracle would happen. That the baby would be fine, and that they would be reunited with Nick.

TBC . . . .


	31. Chapter 31

Thanks to all the readers of this story, both old and new, for their continued patience and support. The reviews that are left mean the world to me as I know they do to other writers as well.

I hope to continue this story in a more timely manner. hugs to all

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The sun was slowly rising in the sky on the morning of the 18th. The brilliant colors of a promising and beautiful day were slowly waking up residents and tourists. But it had been a long night for both CSI and LVPD. And the reappearance of daylight was heartbreaking. No evidence had been uncovered since the night before. Sara truly was becoming the proverbial needle in a haystack.

Nick rubbed his tired eyes, determined he would not rest until she was back. Greg sat down an extra strong cup of his brewed Hawaiian blend. Nick looked up briefly from his task of pouring over door to door notes that the units had taken while canvasing the neighborhood where Catherine's car had been found.

"Thanks," he mumbled, bringing the hot liquid to his lips.

Warrick entered the room, dressed in coveralls. "Got anymore, man?" he addressed Greg.

"Freshly brewed," he nodded his head towards the coffee pot, silently inviting Warrick to have a much needed jolt.

Once his mug was prepared, he brought the dark brew to his lips, savoring the feel and taste. "Mmmm," Warrick sighed as it slid down his throat. "I needed this. Thanks, man."

"What'd you find?" Nick asked as Warrick sat down heavily on a chair in the break room, reaching for a stack of notes that Nick had not yet gone over.

He looked up at his friend sadly and shook his head. "Aside from a lot of finger prints, not much. The only thing that might be of use to us is a foot print. But even that is a long shot."

Warrick had spent hours combing over the car, looking for the smallest of details. The only thing that truly had popped out at him had been a small, probably a woman's, foot print on the mat on the passengers side. Judging solely on appearance, it looks like the person had stepped in a puddle saturated with car oil . . . and that could've been left by any number of persons, including Sara.

"DAMMIT!" Nick cursed, standing up abruptly and beginning to pace the floor. He was beyond frustrated and worried. He balled his first together, and brought it down abruptly on the table, causing it to bounce and some of the papers that had been near the edge to cascade down on to the floor.

"We're going to find her, Nicky," Jim announced sounding much more confident than he felt. He entered the room, closely followed by Catherine, and Grissom. The two of them had gotten the senior CSI caught up on the details, which at this point, wasn't much.

Catherine felt her eyes water with tears as she stepped around the table to console Nick. It had been easy for everyone to see how hurt Nick was. He never could hide his emotions well. And when it involved Sara, and now, their baby, it was much more obvious. They were his life. No one would dare ask Nick to removed himself from looking for Sara. That was out of the question, and would be a waste of breath. But, a few good natured, concerned individuals had merely suggested he take a break. Take a shower, a quick nap, and come back with fresh eyes. And Nick had nearly attacked them with the ferocity of a caged animal.

Nick allowed Catherine to embrace him for a moment before he backed away and bent down. "I have to finish looking through these," he mumbled as he gathered the papers that had fallen to the floor.

"We can look through those," Grissom finally spoke. He had never been very good at comforting someone. Even if the person was Nick, and the person they were looking for was Sara. He was still socially awkward. And now with his emotions bubbling just below the surface, and he was struggling to keep them down, it was twice as hard for him.

"No," Nick shooked his head as he leafed through the notes looking for something to catch his eye. That's when he stopped, his mouth slightly hanging open.

"What is it?" Catherine asked quietly.

"Hank Peddigrew?" Nick looked up at the others, specifically at Brass. "Hank Peddigrew? Why didn't anyone say something?!" he demanded.

Brass was just as stunned as everyone else in the room. He shook his head. "Not everyone knows about their history, Nick," Brass pointed out as he removed the paper from Nick's grasp to look at it himself.

"What're the chances?" Nick asked the room, his jaw set. "This can't be just a coincidence."

"We'll find out," Brass responded, pulling out his cell phone. He stepped into the corner of the room to quietly speak with the person on the other end.

Nick gripped the back of the chair, mentally kicking himself.

"Nick -" Catherine started, but was cut off.

"He's involved," Nick seethed. "I can feel it."

"We don't have evidence to confirm that, Nick," Grissom pointed out, trying to stay logical.

Nick looked back at Grissom. "Maybe not, but I know in my heart he's involved somehow."

From the moment that he and Sara had met Hank at the Liquid Man's dump scene, Nick knew he was bad news. But he'd been too foolish to speak up. He hadn't wanted to risk one of the best friendships of his life if she didn't feel the same way. It had hurt when they'd started dating, but he'd put aside his dislike for Hank since he seemed to make her happy. He'd been surprised that it lasted as long as it did, though. The occassional time when he, Warrick and Greg had talked Sara in to inviting Hank to join them after work, Hank had never been particularly interested in truly joining them. He was rarely talkative and never answered a question with a direct answer. Something he'd assumed Sara hated. While he was pleased that the relationship did eventually end, the way it ended angered him. And he knew that Hank had some bitterness about it as well, even though he had no right . . .

"His albeit checks out," Brass said, snapping his phone shut. "He was working last night."

"What about when he was on break?"

Brass shook his head. "Lot of accidents last night. No time for his break."

It was a disappointment. At least the possibility that Hank could've had something to do with Sara's disappearance would've given them a lead. Sadly, they were back at square one. Left with only questions, and no answers.

Nick stood up and walked to the door, calling behind him, "then he has someone working with him."

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Sara tried to stretch her back. She was sore and tired. It had been a long night of driving, and then what seemed like an even longer hike in the coldness of the mountain altitudes.

They'd abandoned the car they'd switched for Catherine's on an old dirt road. Kelly had continued to press a gun into her side, but she'd showed some compassion when she'd allowed Sara to open the trunk, the gun still aimed at her, to fetch a couple of winter coats, and other cold weather attire so the two of them wouldn't freeze to death.

As they an old red barn, Sara couldn't help but think that it looked familiar. Why, she didn't know. But there was something abot it . . .

"Home Sweet Home," Kelly said coldly as she pushed Sara into the barn. The electricity had long since been cut off, the rotting wood suggesting that the owners had long since abdandoned the property. The old construction, with little insulation only provided little refuge from the howling winds outside.

Sara could still feel the chill down to her bones and she felt that even with the winter jacket, gloves, toque, scarf and ear muffs, she'd never get warm again.

"Sit," Kelly commanded her, nodding her head to the bail of hay.

Sara sat down silently, unsure of how to proceed with the situation.

Kelly crouched down about twenty feet from Sara and picked up an old Kerosene lantern. She moved the small lamp over to cinder block and lit the wick with a small box of matches, illuminating a small area with a gentle, and scary glow.

"There's a cast iron wood stove," Sara said, her teeth chattering as she wrapped her arms around her belly in an attempt to warm herself and the baby.

Kelly nodded her head. "Think I didn't know that? Think that I just choice to abandon the car and wander aimlessly through the woods?" She stared at Sara for several long, silent moments. "I know there's a wood stove, Sara. I planned this."

Sara nodded her head and muttered "sorry."

"I guess I can give you this luxury," Kelly conceded, loading some kindling into the interior of the stove. "But don't get used to it, Sara. This is the last luxury you'll ever have." The look in Kelly's eyes caused Sara's heart to stop beating for a second, her heart caught in her throat. Kelly turned around and looked Sara in the eye with a horrifying smirk etched across her face. "Besides, denying you would be denying myself . . . "

TBC . . . .


	32. Chapter 32

Once again, I have to apologize for not updating faster

Once again, I have to apologize for not updating faster. I wish I had a terrific reason for not updating sooner - like back packing across Europe, but the simple truth is that I lost my muse. With CSI in reruns, and the time since Jorja left the show increasing, it's become harder and harder for me to write. I've had different portions of this chapter written in various ways only to decide I hated it and needed to start from scratch.

I love the reviewers of this story. You all rock. And, of course, the readers who take the time to send me a message to ask how things are going and if there is an update in the works. Definitely strokes my ego to know that the story has been missed! LOL!

Without further ado . . .

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"I'm going to do the talking, Nick," Jim said sternly as he steered his Dodge Charger onto the quiet, tree lined street that Hank's house was on. It was against his better judgement to have even allowed Nick to join him and Grissom. He could have pulled rank. Threatened Nick's job. But he knew it'd be futile. Nick was a man on a mission, and one way or the other, was going to be confronting Pedigrew. At least this way, he and Grissom could keep Nick from doing something stupid. He hoped, anyway.

"Nick?" Grissom asked, a sharpness in his voice.

"I heard," he spoke in a low tone, grinding his teeth.

The Dodge pulled up along the sidewalk, but before he could come to a complete stop, Nick had opened his door and jumped out of the backseat, stalking towards the door, his fists clenched.

"Nick!" Grissom yelled after him, jumping out of the car as quickly as his aging body would allow him.

"Shit," Brass cursed as he yanked the keys out of the igntion and quickened his pace to get to the two CSI's.

"LVPD!" Nick shouted, banging his fist against the solid oak door. Getting no response, he yelled again. "LVPD!"

"Hank Pedigrew, this is Detective Jim Brass, we have some follow up questions from last night." He looked at Grissom, still unsure of what to say.

The two men knew that there was no solid evidence that linked Hank to the crime. It could very well be just a coincidence that he and Sara had a past and that the very car that she was kidnapped in was abandoned on his street. At this point, they truly had no reason to be conducting a follow up interview with the man. But they were there because of Nick.

Faint footsteps grew louder and finally the door opened, revealing Hank in a pair of green and blue plaid pajama pants and a clean white t-shirt. His hair was mussed up, as if he'd just rolled out of bed. "Sorry," he mumbled, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He looked the three men over before settling his eyes on Nick. "Can I help you with something?"

Nick moved quickly, throwing his forearm up and against Hank's neck, spinning him around and into the foyer of his home, pushing him up against the wall. He didn't like the tone of Hank's voice. "What do you know?" Nick asked his eyes narrow and a steely in color.

Hank's eyes were large as he stared at Nick's large, muscular frame. The anger and piercing stare terrified him to his very core. Never had he seen Nick with so much rage. Never had he seen anyone with so much rage.

Grissom and Brass tugged at his arms, and somewhere in the back of his mind, he could hear them telling him to let Hank go. But he was too strong for either man to make him budge. "WHAT DO YOU KNOW?!" He shouted, his face mere inches from the man that Sara once dated. The man that had once broken her heart.

Hank took as deep a breath as he could with Nick's arm still holding him tightly at his throat. "I know what you know," Hank wheezed, bringing his arms up to Nick's and pushing. Together, with Brass and Grissom still tugging on him, Nick released his hold.

"And what do we know?" Grissom asked Hank, not liking his tone either.

"That Sara's missing. That's it," he shrugged, his hand massaging the sore area of his throat. "Look, my albeit checked out. I was at work. What do you want from me?"

"The truth," Nick sneered at him. He glanced around the room and noticed a picture of Hank and Sara sitting on a small coffee table. "What's this?" he asked, picking up the frame.

"And you call yourself a CSI," Hank rolled his eyes, wishing that he'd taken the picture down.

"It's been nearly three years, Hank. Do you keep framed picture of all your ex-girlfriends?" Nick cocked his head to the side. He knew his instincts were right. Hank was definitely involved somehow.

Brass looked around and didn't see any other photos. "I only see a picture of you and Sara," he said nonchalantly. "Why is that?"

"I wasn't aware that it was a crime to keep photos on display in my home," Hank walked over to Nick and yanked the frame out of his hand, putting it back in its spot. "And while I don't owe you any explanation, I'll give you one anyway. You all know Sara. She's a great woman. Not one to easily get over." He threw a look over his shoulder at Grissom. "Of course, to get over her, you'd have to have had her. And aside from me, Nick's the only one to know what that's like."

Nick's fist flew at Hank's face, sending his head back violently and knocking him down into the chair that was behind him.

"Fuck," Hank moaned, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.

"HEY!" Brass yelled, grabbing at Nick's arm that was preparing to throw another punch.

Nick definitely didn't like the insinuation that Hank was making. He ignored Brass, his voice was surprisingly controlled, but his eyes still held fury that was waiting to be released in even greater waves. "A gentleman never talks about a lady in such a disgusting way."

"I love her!" Hank sneered at Nick through the tears that were pooling in his eyes because of the searing pain.

"Is that why you cheated on her?" He asked, leaning down and resting his arms on either side of the chair, effectively trapping Hank.

"I made a mistake. I'm human," Hank defended himself. He pushed one of Nick's hands off the arm of the chair and he moved to stand up. He grabbed a tissue that rested on the desk behind the couch.

"You want her back?" Nick prodded.

Grissom narrowed his eyes, listening intently to the conversation. If Hank did want her back, like it seemed, it would provide Hank with a plausible reason to be involved. Of course, being a paramedic - a hero in their community, convincing the judge to issue a search warrant would be difficult. They'd need more than a gut feeling.

Hank tried to keep his temper in check. "What if I do?" He asked, turning to face Nick. He threw his hands out to the side. "What if I do?" he repeated.

"She'll never come back to you," Nick answered him, shaking his head. He took a step back and glanced at the photo. It was obviously a happy time in their relationship. Thinking back to that time in their lives, that was about as happy as she'd been. And as much as it still pained Nick to know that he hadn't been the one to make her happy back then, he could take solace in the fact that now, she was happier than she'd ever been in her entire life. And she was with him.

"And you know this how?" Hank asked him, getting cocky. "Last time I checked, Sara Sidle was her own person. And your not married, so it's not like you own her."

Nick scoffed at his remark. "That right there is why she'd never go back to you, even if I weren't in the picture." He chuckled at the blank, confused look that adorned Hank's face. "Even if Sara and I were married, I still wouldn't own her. She'd be my other half. My better half. Not a possession." He scratched his chin. "If she were here, she'd tell you the exact same thing."

"Well, in order for her to be here to tell me that herself, you'd have to find her," Hank spat.

"Sounds like your challenging me, Pedigrew," Nick taunted. He wanted to throttle the man standing in front of him, but now he was more convinced than ever that Hank was the key to getting Sara back.

Hank cursed himself inwardly. "Just stating a fact," he shrugged. "Look, I don't mean to be rude, but I've already been interrogated once. Last night. And I told those cops everything I knew. Which is nothing. I was working. So, there is no reason for you three to even be here now."

"Got something to hide, Pedigrew?" Grissom piped up, noting the small movements that his body was making that indicated he was nervous.

"Nope," he said with an air of confidence that he didn't feel. "But barging in here without an invitation to enter my home, pinning me against a wall, punching me and the over all tone of this conversation, which has been laced with unspoken accusations, could be grounds for harassment." Hank walked back into the foyer, and held the wood door open. "I understand you three are desperate to find Sara. Because of that, I'll forget this, here," he motioned around his home, "ever happened. Because I'm a nice guy. But only this once."

Grissom eyed Hank suspiciously. He nodded his acceptance that Hank was asking them to leave and grabbed Nick's arm, pulling him out of the house, Brass trailing behind them.

"So, I guess we're not staying for lunch?" Brass smirked. Nick was right. Something was not quite right. "And I brought the beer."

Hank rolled his eyes. As soon as Brass was walking down the front porch steps, the door slammed shut, causing some of the window panes to rattle.

"That went well," he smirked.

"Asshole!" Nick sighed heavily as he kicked at the mailbox leg that was erected on the front lawn, running his hands over his short hair. He turned back to his supervisor and Brass. "He's going to lead us straight to Sara. We need to have Details on him."

Grissom nodded his head in agreement, but Jim sighed. "The city will never go for it. We don't have anything aside from the gut instincts of three men who are running on fumes."

They loaded into the car quickly.

"Jim, you know just as well as -"

"I know, Nick!" Jim sighed. "But we can't have him followed without concrete evidence. Without it, we don't have a leg to stand on. No judge will authorize it. The city will not fund it. Even if it is to find one of their own."

Nick was becoming more and more frustrated. He knew everything that Jim was saying was true. And he also knew that the city was doing everything they could, throwing every resource they had into finding Sara and bringing her and their baby home. But there was only so much they could do. "My family has plenty of money," Nick announced. It wasn't a surprise to either man to hear Nick admit that his family had money, given his parents professions. "I'll pay for it."

"It's a violation of his privacy, which is one of his rights as a citizen of the USA," Grissom rubbed his temples. "If someone figures out what your doing, you could be facing serious consequences. And it still might not lead to Sara."

"I don't care!" Nick stressed. "I can't sit around and do nothing. And right now, what we are doing isn't getting us anywhere!" He turned his face towards the window, staring at the homes that they passed by. "I would walk through fire for her, Gil," he said softly. He was trying so hard to not let the fear take over completely. "I don't give a damn what could happen to me. She has to be OK. She just has to be . . ."

Jim glanced at Grissom, who was in the backseat, in the rear view mirror and nodded his head. Brass took a hand off the wheel and squeezed Nick's left shoulder. "We're gonna do everything we can, Nick. We'll find her."

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Sara stirred from her uncomfortable slumber on a bed of straw. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves when she realized that it hadn't been just a bad dream. She flinched as she struggled to adjust herself into a sitting position. When she'd succeeded, she rolled her back forward, then to both sides, trying to stretch out.

"Good sleep?" Kelly asked from behind her.

Sara gasped in shock and turned around to see Kelly sitting on a plastic lawn chair. "The best," she answered, holding up her arm which had a handcuff attached to it. Luckily for Sara, it was on a long chain so she could still at least get up and move around. Her stomach rumbled.

"Hungry?" Kelly smirked. She stood up and went over to a box in the corner. Obviously provisions that she'd brought to the barn prior to taking Sara . . .

Sara looked sceptically at Kelly as she held out a bag of pretzel sticks. She accepted the bag and inspected it for signs of tampering. There were none that she could see. Eagerly, she tore into the sealed bag and grabbed a handful, bringing them up to her mouth.

Fifteen minutes later, Sara had finished off half the family sized back and was beyond full. She felt like she'd split open if she ate anymore. She watched Kelly closely.

After ten minutes of her prisoner staring, Kelly sighed and looked at Sara. "What?!"

Sara shook her head and looked away.

"No, seriously. Why were you staring?" Kelly questioned.

"I'm just trying to figure out what's going to happen," Sara answered quietly. "You said last night that this is about revenge." She looked at her hands. "And I guess in a way, I can understand that. You had your whole life ahead of you, and then all of a sudden, everything was turned on its axis. Things changed. You lost time, your father."

"What're you getting at?" Kelly snapped.

"I get that you want revenge. It's human. People want others to pay when things go wrong. It's natural. And I can even accept that you want me to pay for everything that has happened. But what about my baby? Why does my baby have to pay? He or she had nothing to do with what happened to you . . ."

Kelly shook her head. "Sara, you're baby isn't going to pay. Your baby is going to have the best life a person can possibly have."

"So, you're going to let me go?" Sara asked quietly, confused. Kelly shook her head no. "Then Nick will get to raise our baby?" A tear slid down her cheek as Kelly once again shook her head no. "THEN WHAT?!"

"I'm going to raise him or her as my own," Kelly shrugged, completely unaffected by Sara's outburst.

"Over my cold, dead body," Sara stared the woman down.

Kelly smirked. "Believe me, that can be arranged."

Sara took a deep breath, trying to stay calm, too many thoughts running through her head to make sense of all at the same time . . .

TBC . . . .


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